Very slowly, she began to push herself against him. Alec held himself as still as he could, all the while fighting the urge to plunge himself inside her warm passage.
“You’re rather large…” She sounded uncertain, but then his cock slipped inside her, almost like it was made to be there. “Oh my,” she gasped as she adjusted herself around him.
And then, tentatively she began to slowly ride the length of him up and down.
Desire swept over him as he watched, mesmerized, as her breasts bounced up and down, while his shaft slid in and out of her warmth. Then she bent down and pressed her chest to his own, and her lips met his.
They kissed, their lips and tongues intertwining in a mating dance, as her hips ground against his own. And just when he thought he wasn’t going to be able to hold himself back, Connie’s tight passage began to clench around his cock, squeezing him to the point of madness. She screamed in pleasure as her climax gripped her, and with a groan of his own, Alec emptied his seed inside her, thrusting himself into her until he was spent.
She collapsed on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let her go.
…
She lay facing him in the bed, their bodies both still heated from their lovemaking, and for that small space in time, Connie wanted nothing more than to stay there with him forever. They were in their own little cocoon of contentment in the hunting lodge, and she didn’t want it to end.
Alec reached his hand out and slowly stroked back a lock of her hair that had fallen across her cheek. “You look particularly ravished,” he said with a grin. “And so damn gorgeous, I just want to ravish you again.”
A huge smile lit her face in response. “I think I’d enjoy being ravished again, Dr. McGuiness.” Playfully she reached over and tweaked his nipple between her fingers.
His eyes went dark with desire, and slowly his hand slipped along her cheek to trail down across her neck toward the exposed flesh of her breast. His finger slowly began circling her nipple, which became taut from his touch. “Aye, I think we would both enjoy it, my lady.”
Seeing this softer side of Alec, and the tenderness he was displaying after he’d made love to her, was like an elixir to Connie’s wounded heart. She’d never before felt so cherished as she did with Alec. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he replied, though he did sound distracted, most likely from still holding her naked breast in his palm.
As his thumb brushed against her nipple again, she briefly lost her train of thought. His touch was magic. For a minute she wondered what it would feel like if they could just stay there in that little cottage for the whole weekend, doing nothing but pleasuring each other over and over again. It sounded like bliss.
His thumb stilled. “So, what were you wanting to ask? I must say I find I am curious to know.”
She hoped her next words wouldn’t break the intimacy that had grown between them, but there was a question on her mind that she needed answered. “If I do manage to avoid the gallows and am able to actually start living my life…will this”—she gestured between the two of them—“continue…?” Her voice trailed off and she found herself bracing for what his response might be.
Alec was silent for a moment, and Connie could see him processing his thoughts on the subject, but he hadn’t pulled away from her, which she was glad of. “I don’t think I’m capable of giving my heart to anyone. Not after my mother and Elise. I simply can’t risk love anymore.”
It sounded like he was warning her against developing any feelings for him, but Connie was beginning to suspect it was already too late. Confusion rolled around inside her. Even she didn’t know what she wanted. Her independence and freedom were within grasp, and she didn’t want to ever be trapped in a marriage again. But she was beginning to suspect that a marriage with Alec would be so very different from what she knew. That he would treat her as an equal rather than a possession.
“Look, Connie, I want you to know that I admire you greatly,” he continued in her silence. “But I’m not capable of giving you anything more than what we’re sharing now. I just can’t.”
He appeared so serious that Connie felt like crying. Instead she slowly smiled. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Well, it had been, before she’d started thinking of what a future with Alec could be like. More the fool her. Her heart really was a liability. “You’re right, of course. I was trapped in a loveless marriage before and have no intention of repeating that mistake.” If Alec could never love her, then what she said was true. She would never marry again without love. “Let us just enjoy this moment, without talk of anything else. We are adults, after all, and there’s no need for promises of anything more.”
Oh, she was the biggest liar of all. Because the very thought of giving Alec up was like a dark and unforgiving hole that threatened to consume her. And with each new ray of light she saw creeping in through the windows, she knew that their interlude was nearly at its end. “I suppose we should get up and dress.” A premonition crossed her mind that, once they did, things would change irrevocably.
“We should,” Alec agreed, though he didn’t move a muscle.
Connie pulled a fraction back from their embrace to find him simply watching her. There was such an expression of uncertainty on his face that she didn’t know what to think.
But then he leaned his head down toward her own, and his mouth captured hers in a searing kiss filled with promise and also a sense of bittersweet yearning. It was as if they both knew that the future wasn’t guaranteed, and that this moment together might be their last.
She kissed him back with all that she had. She knew then that she did love him. That she had loved him for years but hadn’t allowed herself to ever admit it.
Oh my goodness. She loved him with so much of herself that it scared her. Particularly knowing that he could never return that love. And how could she ever be with someone who didn’t love her back?
The answer was simple. She couldn’t.
She’d suffered for years, married to a man incapable of love, and she wouldn’t do it again, not even for Alec. And though Alec would never physically abuse her as Duncan had, if he didn’t love her, either, then that would be emotionally nearly as bad as the physical abuse. To love someone and never have that love reciprocated would be torturous.
Such a relationship would never work, at least not in the long run. She’d eventually grow bitter that he wasn’t returning her feelings, and she never wanted to put either of them in such a position.
She admired him too much to grow to hate him. They both deserved more than that.
But that was for later. For now, she had one last chance to revel in the feel of him making love to her. To treasure each kiss, each touch, each sweet whisper of adoration. It was a memory she would have to hold close to her heart.
They made love again with a sweet intensity that left them both breathless and satisfied, and then after, as she lay curled in his arms, knowing that it was most likely the last time she would be so, she silently let her tears fall.
Chapter Forty-Five
With each piece of clothing Alec put back on, he slowly erected the walls of his heart, which had taken somewhat of a battering after his night with Connie. She’d given herself so freely to him, so joyously, that he’d been hard-pressed to not feel affected by what they’d shared.
But he couldn’t succumb, even if a part of him desperately wanted to. He was a terrible judge of women when it came to matters of the heart, and he couldn’t risk the aftermath of what would happen if he let down those walls and exposed his heart. He simply couldn’t.
Connie and he would never work long-term. They were too different. To pretend they weren’t would be to delay the inevitable. He swiveled his head around to see that she, too, was nearly finished dressing.
Her gaze caught his, and he saw so many emotions cascading t
hrough her expression, from fear to joy to possibly love, that for a minute Alec had to fight the urge to get the hell out of there. “We can’t do this again,” he blurted out. God, he sounded like a scared boy.
She pressed her lips together and her eyes narrowed. “What, get dressed?”
“You know what I mean,” he replied as he shoved one foot into his boot and began tying the laces. “I told you I’m no good with women and emotions.”
“Obviously.”
“This, whatever it is between us, would never work,” he tried to explain. “Not long-term.”
“You did mention that earlier,” she replied, placing her soft leather shoes on her feet. “Is there really a need to repeat it?”
His eyes were drawn to the gentle arch of her foot as she slipped on the shoe. It looked so delicate and feminine, and he couldn’t stop thinking about caressing her foot, all the way up to her thigh. Oh God, this woman messed with his mind, badly. He could barely keep track of what he was attempting, namely trying to ensure she didn’t become emotionally attached to him. And it seemed he was messing it up, if the furious glimmer in her eyes was any indication. “I just don’t want you to expect anything from me, beyond last night.”
“I stopped expecting anything from men a long time ago.” Connie grabbed her shawl and swung it over her shoulders. “Why would you be different?”
Her words hurt. “So you don’t want anything more of me?”
“What more do you have to give, Alec?” She shrugged. “You said yourself not to expect love from you, and as I have no intention of ever marrying again without love, there is nothing to expect from you at all.”
“Good,” he affirmed, though the word felt hollow. The fact she didn’t want anything more of him was exactly what he wanted to hear. At least he thought it was. Hearing it, though, didn’t bring him relief; instead it brought him pain. “I think that’s for the best. We shall simply remain friends and keep things platonic.”
How he was going to refrain from touching her, he didn’t know, but he knew for his protection, he had to.
“Lovely,” she said as she swept past him and out the door. “I shall wait for you outside.”
Alec watched the door close behind her with finality. As he put on his other boot, he kept telling himself it was for the best. It had to be.
…
Stepping out of the door of the hunting lodge, Connie was fuming. How dare the man, as calmly as you please, dictate to her what they could or couldn’t do together! The nerve of him.
She halted in mid-stride as she suddenly looked ahead. There, surrounding the front of the lodge, was Fergus and four of his men standing next to their steeds, and all holding pistols aimed directly at her.
She blinked, desperately hoping that she would wake up any minute and her nightmare would be over. But when Alec strode out the door behind her and stopped short with a curse, Connie knew what she was seeing was all too real.
“You’re trespassing on McGuiness land, Fergus,” Alec warned. “Take your men and leave now.”
“We’ll go,” Fergus replied. “As long as she comes with us.” He pointed across to Connie, and there was such determination in his gaze that she knew he would not leave without her.
Alec shook his head. “She is going nowhere with you.”
“Don’t make this more difficult than it need be, Dr. McGuiness,” Fergus said grimly. “My men and I outnumber you, and we have weapons. You can’t win this fight. Just let her go, and you won’t be hurt.”
“I will never let her go,” Alec warned as he stepped in front of Connie.
“You’ll have to, or you will suffer the consequences.” Fergus raised his pistol, aiming directly for Alec’s chest.
“What, you’re going to kill me in cold blood?” Alec asked. “A peer of the realm? Who is unarmed, and there are witnesses about.”
“There are no witnesses here,” Fergus replied. “Only my men, who will see whatever I tell them to see.”
“How did you even know to find us here?” Connie spoke up.
Fergus shrugged. “You didn’t exactly cover your tracks. There was a plethora of people who saw you heading this way. One of my men was easily able to elicit the information.”
“And what do you intend to do now?” Alec asked, his voice banked with fury.
“I will do whatever it takes to see my brother and my lover’s murderer face justice.” There was a quiet determination in Fergus’s voice that chilled Connie to the bone. “Do you really think I would allow either of you to go free, after Seraphina’s death? I suggest you start cooperating, as the law is on my side if you refuse.”
“I didn’t kill anyone, Fergus, and certainly not Seraphina,” Connie yelled, stepping to the side of Alec’s protective stance. She sensed this situation was quickly getting out of control, and she couldn’t risk Alec being shot. She’d surrender herself in a heartbeat to prevent that.
“I don’t know what you’ve been up to!” Fergus yelled back to her. “I was going to try to help you at first, after my brother. But you took Seraphina from me! I can’t save you now.”
“Save me?” Connie scoffed. “You never tried to save me in all the years you knew Duncan was beating me, over and over again! And yet after his death, you wanted to save me? You’re full of utter nonsense, Fergus. And I didn’t take Seraphina from you! She was killed in front of my very eyes, a bullet to the back of her head, but not of my doing or Alec’s.”
“Don’t you dare talk of it to me!” Fergus yelled, anguish in his voice, as he swung his pistol toward her, aiming directly at her chest.
“Damn it, Fergus, she didn’t kill anyone,” Alec growled, and Connie was certain he was trying to draw Fergus’s wrath back to him. “And if you began to think rationally, you’d bloody well know it.”
“Don’t you worry, McGuiness, I’m thinking rational enough.” He cocked the pistol. “Now I’ve had enough of talking.” He swiveled his gaze back to Connie. “This is your final chance, Constance. Surrender to me now, or I’ll take it that you’re both actively resisting arrest. I will not be held accountable for the consequences.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Fergus,” responded Alec, as he once again stepped in front of Connie. “I warn you, it will not end well for you.”
“I will go with you, Fergus!” she yelled loudly, placing a hand on Alec’s arm and squeezing it. “As long as you promise not to hurt Alec.”
Alec spun around to face her, and she could see the desperation in his eyes. “Damn it, no. If you go with him, he will kill you. I can’t allow that.”
“And I can’t allow you to be hurt,” she replied. “I won’t do it.” She tilted her head over to Fergus. “Well?”
Fergus nodded. “Aye, you have my word.”
Slowly she turned back to Alec and, reaching up, she placed her palm against his face, memorizing every single detail of him she could, knowing that it would mostly likely be the last time she saw him.
“Don’t do this, Connie,” he begged her. “Please don’t…”
Taking in a deep breath, she had to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill. “I have to. I’d sacrifice myself a thousand times to prevent you from being hurt.” Connie could see the battle raging within him. “We are outnumbered, Alec, and they have firearms,” she whispered, trying to get him to see reason. “At least if you survive, you can see justice done. And you never know, perhaps he won’t kill me and will hand me over to the authorities. I might even receive a fair trial and be exonerated.” From the look in his eyes, it was clear he didn’t believe such a thing would occur, and neither did she, if she was being honest. But giving herself up was the only way to save him. “You need to let me go now.”
“I can’t…” His was a tortured whisper.
She smiled up at him, even though all she wanted to do was bawl. “You must
. There’s no other choice and you know it.” Quickly, before her courage deserted her, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. “I lied earlier, because the truth is, I do love you, even though you don’t love me,” she whispered into his ear. And without even daring to see his reaction, she held her head high and walked over to Fergus.
Fergus nodded to his men, who all began to move in toward Alec.
“You promised you wouldn’t hurt him!” she yelled, spinning around to see his men surrounding Alec.
Fergus grabbed ahold of her arm, and in that instant, chaos erupted. Alec roared and began to throw punches, quickly knocking two of the men flat to the ground.
The crack of a gunshot echoed loudly, and Connie felt the hot muzzle of the weapon burning against her neck as Fergus pulled her against him, after having fired a shot into the air. “You’re killing her, McGuiness!” Fergus screamed into the clearing.
Alec stopped short of punching one of the men and hastily stepped back, holding his arms up. “You’re hurting her!”
The heated metal of the pistol was searing her skin, and Fergus suddenly seemed to realize what his weapon was doing and pulled it away from her.
“Damn you, McGuiness, I don’t want to hurt her, but you’re making me!” Fergus replied. “All my men are trying to do is tie you up! Do you think I’m an idiot and would simply ride off, allowing you to follow us and attack from the rear?”
Fergus’s words surprised Connie. Did he really mean them no harm, or was he simply playing some sort of twisted game?
“Fine,” Alec conceded, slowly pulling his hands down in front of him until his wrists came together. “Tie me up, then, but don’t hurt her any more.”
Fergus motioned to the two men left standing. “Tie his hands. Then secure him inside the lodge and ensure he cannot follow us, then ride to our meeting point.” He glanced at Alec. “If you so much as try to resist my men,” he warned him, “you, and you alone, will be responsible for my next actions.”
As his men began to tie Alec’s hands, Fergus marched Connie over to his horse. “Get up. And any funny business from you, I promise you, you will regret it.”
The Sinful Scot (Saints & Scoundrels) Page 30
