by Pamela Ann
“This is crazy!” Said by an over thrilled Amber.
It certainly is.
I was lost in thought, staring at the magazine cover that when I felt Trista freeze next to me. ”No dolls, this is about to get insane. Carter Mason just walked in and he doesn’t look happy.”
Oh no.
Not yet.
I’m not ready to see him yet!
Too late, when looked up, he barely just arrived at our table.
Fuck my life!!!
God, he looks so…so dark, dangerous and sexy—a total opposite of the blonde, blue-eyed Bass.
“Can we talk outside?” He sounded ominous. As usual, no nonsense or pleasantries—no ‘hello’ or an ‘excuse me’.
I stopped gawking at his beauty and managed to quickly gather my thoughts.
“Alright.” I got up. “Be back in a sec.” I murmured at Amber and Trista. They both looked like they were going to burst from curiosity. The other students in the coffee shop watched our exchange and stared at the unfolding drama we were causing before their eyes.
Once outside, he walked towards his black Escalade and opened the door for me. Seated, the familiar scent of Carter permeated the car. His scent made me nostalgic amongst other things. I tried to calm my nerves but it was pointless. I was extremely edgy and anxious.
Suck it up, Emma.
When the other car door opened, he slid inside and locked the doors. The engine was running with no music playing, the silence was deafening.
“I thought you wanted to talk. So, talk.” I commanded, aggravated at his silent state.
His large hand ran through his disheveled hair making him look even more sexy.
GAWD!
My blue eyes met his dark fathomless depths. Without breaking eye contact he spoke with evident strain and torment. “I badly want you back, Emma.”
Steady, my shattered heart.
“We’ve been here before. Yesterday in fact, if you don’t recall.”
“I know. I was an idiot. I haven’t slept because every time I shut my eyes, you’re all I see. When news broke about you and Bass spending the night together, I couldn’t take it, Em. This is fucking killing me. You’re killing me and I’m going insane. I can’t think straight!”
Tempting…how fucking tempting…
I leaned back against the leather headrest and contemplated what to do.
Could I really be with someone who didn’t love me? It was obvious that the more time I spent with him, the worse my feelings got. At the end of the day, going back to him wouldn’t solve anything, not really. I may have him physically but I’ll never have his heart, his love. Knowing how I am, I would not be happy with that nor would I be content with a half-ass kind of commitment. If I stayed with him, when the inevitable end came, I would be solely hurt and I would eventually regret it sooner or later.
“I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not? You and I were great together, Em. We were…and you know it!” He heavily sighed and stared at the car ceiling. “Are you guys dating now or something?” He challenged, his throat bobbing up and down as his eyes searched for truth on my face.
Or something…that’s what Bass and I are…the connection was there. I felt it, Bass felt it. But the timing was all wrong.
“No. It’s not like that. The gossip you see and hear, are just well…gossip.” That was the truth.
“Why are you doing this now, Carter? Is this about your pride and ego? Because I honestly don’t buy the shit you’re telling me. We both know that you’ve have some crazy wild rides around town. Sex with me isn’t exceptional. You’ve done more questionable sexual exhibitions of sorts with other women. So, what the hell is going on?”
“Unfuckingbelievable! I fucking miss you! That’s what’s going on. It’s the entire truth!” He barked out in frustration.
He misses me? That’s a first…kind of emotion. All he ever would say is ‘I need you’ and the other infamous line, ‘I want you’.
“Don’t shut me down without some thought, Em. Just promise you’ll think it over before you give me an answer? I’d rather take that than your immediate rejection.”
Astounding, I thought.
Has the world tilted on its axis or something? Have aliens capsized Carter Mason’s brain? There’s got to be some bizarre answer to this.
This is so unlike him.
He was an ultimate insensitive, callous, demanding, hard, detached jerk that I have ever met.
“Emma?” His voice pleaded.
His tone was melting my purpose, my sole objective of staying away from him. Fuck love!
“I’ll think about it. No promises though, just so we’re clear,” I clarified with total nonchalance.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” I barely nodded because my mind was going through a battle of sorts.
“It’s past one already, want to grab something to eat? Or better yet, why don’t I take you out tonight? I haven’t taken you out on a date for awhile.” Carter lightly suggested, hopeful.
Yeah, amongst other deficiencies you have, I wanted to add but couldn’t muster the energy for another lengthy argument. When was the last time he ever took me out properly? I can’t remember. It’s that bad!
“I’m fine. Do you think you could just drop me off at my dorm?” I didn’t think I could muster enough energy to endure a lengthy meal with him.
“Yeah, of course.”
When he got into traffic, he turned to me. “It’s our second to last game of the season against UCLA. Will you come and wear my jersey?”
How about not? I’m not going to be your jersey girl, buddy! “I can’t. I have things to do.”
Carter just nodded.
The student housing was pretty close from the café and the ride back was quick. I didn’t waste a moment’s time getting out of his SUV.
“Thanks. I’ll see you around,” Muttering a quick goodbye before slamming his door shut and not giving him a chance to respond.
Carter’s team apparently won that night.
“I’m intimidated by the fear of being average.”
- Taylor Swift
10
With another grunt of frustration, I lightly hit my forehead on my closet door a few more times before I heard Lindsey clear her throat. “Oh honey, that’s not how you say a prayer. You should try the floor—it clears your mind like no other.” Smartass!
I glared at my smirking friend. “How does one dress amongst Hollywood folks?”
Lindsey barked out a shrieking laughter.
I gave her a death stare.
“This weird upheaval is for tonight’s outfit?” She looked at me with askance. I threw a discarded shirt at her and she laughed even harder.
She was certainly not helping the situation.
“I was fine about it until Bass texted me that it was going to be held at Martin Lombardo’s home.” That statement made her laughing rampage halt, mouth hanging ajar.
“No shit and you don’t have an outfit?!” She said, agog and purely horrified, now it was her turn to freak the fuck out.
“Now’s not the time to give me a lecture, Linds. I have an hour before Bass gets here!” I gave her a quick retort, my eyes filled with pure dread.
Martin Lombardo was a glorified producer/director. Most of his films are Oscar-worthy and have won a crap load of them too. He’s an icon, a legend. I was impressed that Bass was going to make a film with the director. But that amazement turned into trepidation when Bass mentioned I was meeting the director himself tonight.
“Give me a second to run through my closet. Go get yourself something alcoholic to drink. You look like you need it.” She was about to leave but she stop mid-stride. “You know what? I’ll bring you a bottle of tequila. You just wait and sit here!” Linds departed my scattered room as my phone beeped.
Bass Cole: Am leaving the house. Be seeing you very soon!
I smiled.
Why do I grin like a silly idiot each time I see his na
me? Oh gosh, he’s starting to worm his way inside—way too quickly for my liking, much to my dismay.
Linds was back with what looked like ten outfits and a bottle of tequila, to which she threw next to me. I caught the bottle before it landed on the bed.
“Okay, now strip!” she commanded like a lieutenant.
She was browsing through her chosen outfits when I stripped my clothes off, leaving me with my bra and underwear on. Linds and I are about the same size, so I suppose the clothes shouldn’t be any problem.
“How about this one?” She held out a flashy red skin-tight silk dress. It was gorgeous, but the narrow top would make my breasts look squashed. Not the kind of attention or ‘wow factor’ I’m looking for tonight.
I shook my head, “too vulgar.”
“Alright… How about this one?” She held out a simple A-line dress. “that’s too plain Jane, doll.” I said and she scampered to hold out a few more and I declined them all.
She was getting annoyed, I could tell. I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass but none of them really appealed to me.
“That! I want to try that one on!” I ran to her and grabbed the dress from her hand.
“Finally! You’re such a pain, Princess Emma!” Lindsey rolled her eyes and helped me with the dress.
“I love you more baby!” I kissed her cheek. To which she replied a ‘yeah, yeah’ with a cute pout.
The dress was simple, elegant and it was sexy. More importantly, it was perfect! I thought as I studied my reflection. It was a body-hugging nude lace short dress with short sleeves. I love that it gave me a good amount of cleavage but not too much. The back was exposed but not too blatant to be vulgar either.
“Okay, okay. Let’s get your make-up started. You want to go for a smoky sex-bomb, absolute goddess or delicate ethereal look?” Lindsey asked as I sat and browsed through the make-up selection before me.
“Absolute goddess, definitely!”
After twenty minutes of priming and brushing, she was done. She used a lot of gold and bronze creamy hues. It made my eyes look divine and quite stunning. My cheeks were bronzed and highlighted to perfection. She teased my hair and put some mousse and other hair styling products making it look playful and sexy.
I went back to my closet and took out my three and a half inch rose-gold metallic pumps and slid them on. “How do I look?” I asked as I moved sideways to give her a good view.
“You look, like scorching hot, doll! Bass will fall at your feet and worship you until he’s out of breath!” How she exaggerates but I basked in it all the same!
“That’s pushing our luck, don’t you think?” My phone started shrilling and I didn’t even need to check it to know who it was—Bass was calling me to let me know that he was right outside.
“Shit—I haven’t even gathered my purse and stuff!” I freaked, scouring for the needed items.
“Let me go downstairs and get him.” Linds was halfway out the door already and didn’t even wait for me to respond.
Thank God for my awesome friend!
Once I got everything in my puny clutch purse, I heard Bass and Lindsey’s voice enter the apartment. I gave myself another once over just to make sure my eyeliner didn’t smudge or my mascara started to flake. Nope, I’m all set!
I was a nervous wreck when I strode out of my bedroom and into the living room. Bass was talking to Lindsey when he gave me a double take.
Blue azure eyes glittered. My heart sped up at his slow, heated admiring gaze.
Bass Cole looked totally delicious dressed in all black.
“Hey, Bass! Ready to go?” I asked and looked up when the apartment door swung open–the dynamic duo. Brody strolled in and Carter was behind him. Fucking shit, what luck!
“What are you two doing here?” Lindsey asked in annoyance.
Brody saw me and his gaze landed on Bass. “We, uh—thought you guys would like to go and get something to eat.” Poor Brody, he looked perplexed.
Carter looked like he was about to blow-up any minute now. I could seriously hear him grinding his teeth together.
Calm it down, caveman! I wanted to yell at him.
“Didn’t you guys have soccer practice?” Lindsey asked again, eyeing both men in question.
“It was cancelled Linds.” Carter’s deadly voice noted.
No one bothered with introductions because the atmosphere in the apartment was so strained and tense.
Bass leaned next to me and held my hips, a tad possessively. “Let’s go?” Carter simply growled like raging bear. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides.
I could feel Carter’s hatred. It was there and for a second I was torn and immediately scolded myself to snap out of my funk.
As much as I loved him, it wasn’t enough.
Being with him wasn’t enough anymore.
I want what he can’t give me. I reminded myself.
“Let’s go.” I nodded in agreement. Turning towards Lindsey, I spoke. “Linds, thanks for the help and everything. I’ll call you later.” I gave her a quick hug before Bass and I exited the place.
Brody was silent, observant. Carter was brooding with contempt. As much as it bothered me that he was pissed off as hell, there was nothing I could do about it.
I tried to push the thoughts away as Bass led me towards his parked car.
To be honest, I was actually surprised that Carter held himself back. I expected him to go ape-shit about me going out with Bass. But thank goodness, he held back.
Seated and buckled, Bass turned to me before he started the engine. “That was your ex, wasn’t it?” Always forward, isn’t he?
“Sorry—I didn’t know they were coming over. I feel really bad…” What happened at our place was something I didn’t anticipate. I was not prepared for it. I was not prepared for Carter to see me with someone else–well not for them to meet face to face.
It was a whole different level, way too personal for my liking—and awkward to boot!
Bass just shrugged.
“No worries. I would’ve acted the same way if I saw my ex—who I’m still hung up on—looking so sinfully beautiful.” He cocked his head and gave me a breathtaking smile.
A smile that made me forget—even for just a moment.
He thinks I’m sinfully beautiful? Gah, melt me even further, why don’t you?
Bass gave a quick tight squeeze on my left thigh then started the engine and joined the traffic.
Even though he took his hand away from my thigh a few minutes ago, I could still feel it on me. Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach.
During the ride, his cellphone was ringing like it was possessed. It was non-stop! His agent, his publicist, his friends and the list went on and on. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him and he complied with patience.
When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my purse, a little relieved for something to do.
Carter Mason: You just broke me apart, Em. It took all my strength not to yank you away from him and keep you for myself. But what good would that do? You don’t want me. I guess I have to accept that, huh? I get it. The message is loud and clear. That’s why you’re going to understand that I won’t wait for you anymore. I guess good things always slip away. You were special to me, Emma.
I was special to him? What? Since when?
Was he just going to say anything so that I would comeback as his exclusive bootie call?
So. Not. Cool.
I was lost in my own thoughts when Bass spoke again. I suppose he just finished his call too. “There. I turned the damn thing off. My phone’s not going to kill our enjoyment tonight.” He declared.
“You don’t have to do that for my benefit. What if you miss an important call?” I looked at him perplexed at his idea.
He grabbed my hand and held it. The gesture was sweet and I indulged in his warmth.
“What could be more important that would deter my time with you?” He cocked his head back in question, decided and sure of him
self.
A whole lot of shit, I wanted to add but didn’t want to ruin the mood.
“If you’re sure…” I trailed off.
“Never been so sure of anything in my life,” Bass exclaimed, letting his words hang in the air.
We both knew he wasn’t talking about his phone being turned off for the rest of the night.
I remained silent not knowing what to say.
For I do not know how to respond to a man who is far too handsome and rather determined to have a piece of me.
A piece that was already taken by another man.
Bass has been keeping his distance as he promised. But the things he does, like the way he holds my hand, how he looks at me with adoration, and how he hugs me in a way that makes me feel cherished—are drawing me closer to him.
If this was his way of breaking my barriers—then he’s doing a fantastic job.
“My love for you is like an alarm clock, you can hear me but you chose to ignore me until you throw me. Don’t worry, maybe I am broken but surely keep ringing until you pick me up again.”
- Yvonne Urlanda
11
Carter Mason
“Yo, bro, you cool?” Brody asked as I stared at the door—contemplating if I should yank it open and grab Emma back inside and away from that stupid Hollywood guy. He had his arm wrapped around Emma—my Emma—like she was his already!
The poison that’s tearing me inside was toxic and I’m being enslaved by its burning pain and I had no clue how to stop it.
My Emma, she was out with him again. Without thinking, I shot her a text message. After I was done, I reverted back staring at the door. What was she doing right now? Where were they going tonight?
“Carter, hey!” Lindsey shook my arm. I blinked twice and ordered myself to snap out of the trance I was in.
“I’m good. You guys want to bounce and get some grub?” I asked my sister and Brody as they both looked at me differently. Worried would be the right word—but they shouldn’t be.
It’s only pussy right? This shit won’t get me down.
