by Pamela Ann
“Did you do anything else with her? Or with anyone else for that matter?”
Carter shook his head. “No, I wanted to. I mean I tried to, but I couldn’t get you out of my head, Em.”
I smiled. “Good to know.”
I walked towards the bed and sat down. Carter came over and joined me, looking serious. “Did you have sex with Bass? Did you kiss him?”
Did I have sex with Bass? Definitely not, although, I wanted to…
Did I kiss those nice lips of his? No, although, I wanted to, oh, so badly.
“No, we didn’t go that far. He kissed my neck though, if you must know.”
Carter pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. “Are you telling me the truth? You really didn’t have sex with him? ’Cause everyone was saying you did and that magazine insinuated you did.”
They did, didn’t they? Well, they got my thoughts down, but not what really happened.
“No. I guess you could say nothing really happened. We just hung out and talked a lot. Bass is a great guy. He was respectful and treated me with the utmost care.”
And boy did he just…Bass…I’m really going to miss him. My heart constricted at the very thought of not being around him.
I liked Bass…hella lot…but…there was always going to be a big BUT when it came to him.
“Good because if he didn’t, I would have just loved to knock that arrogant son of a bitch out.”
“Oh, shut up, Carter! You’re not punching anyone.”
“Don’t you doubt it, because I will hurt anyone that tries to hurt you, Emma.”
I looked thoughtful a moment. When I looked up, I found his eyes on me. “There’s only one thing I want you to do, don’t hurt me. That is all I ask.”
He kissed my lips and smiled. “Not going to happen. Why don’t we go downstairs and join the rest of our friends? We’re leaving tomorrow after all.”
I shook my head. I honestly don’t think I wanted another Amanda encounter and to top it off, the alcohol made me tired. “You go right ahead. I want to shower and catch up with some reading.” Reading the movie script…something that I have yet to tell him but I held back. I will tell him eventually, but not tonight. I just don’t know how he’ll react to it.
“You’re sure? I can stay with you, if you want.”
I pinched his cheek. “I am sure. Soccer season just ended and you guys had a tremendous season. You need to party that off with your team.”
Am I a jealous woman? Hell, yes. But I am a reasonable one too. I know what this weekend meant to him and his teammates and I wasn’t going to come in between that. I just hoped that he will be just as noble when I tell him about the movie I’m doing with Bass. They did say, in every relationship one should learn how to give and take? Well, here it is. This is me giving.
“You’re the best, Em! I’ll be back in a couple hours.” He stood up and pulled my phone out of his shorts. “Here. I don’t need to hold your phone hostage to get your attention. I love you.” He then kissed me and strode towards the door.
I called out to him before he managed to grab the door handle. “You better be on your best behavior, Carter Mason, because the minute you touch another woman, you’ll be dead to me.”
“Never, my love.” Carter blew me a kiss and swiftly closed the door behind him.
Sighing, I plopped down on the bed. My phone weighed heavily in my hand.
I glanced at it like I had never seen a cell phone in my life. Curious, I unlocked my phone. Sure enough, the battery was low. I had two missed calls from mom and seven missed calls from Bass. When I opened my messages, mom sent me one and Bass sent me five.
Mom: Honey, we haven’t heard from you in a while. I called because I wanted to tell you Aunt Gemma and little Joey will be staying with us for a while. Aunt Gemma finally left Brad. Please call us. We miss you!
My poor little cousin Joey. I just hope that he deals with the divorce well. I mean, look at Amber, she’s twenty years old and even at that age, she’s clearly reeling from her father’s announcement.
Scrolling towards the first message Bass sent me, I quickly opened it. It was his reply to my last text message.
Bass Cole: I know that my life is my own, but if you did ask it of me, then I will be more than happy. I’m leaving soon for Canada and I can’t help but think about you and what happens then. I know it’s too early for you to be even thinking about being in another relationship, but that’s what I want from you…I just want you to know that just in case you start dating other guys, I want to be the first contender, Emma. I just want you to know. Scratch that, I need you to know that I am serious about you.
Oh, Lordy. Ugh! This totally shakes me up into confusion. True, I am confused, but that didn’t stop me from reading the next one.
Bass Cole: Was that too much at the same time? I’ve waited for your response for over an hour now. Emma?
I didn’t have my phone. But even if I did, would I have replied to that heavy loaded text message? Maybe…
Bass Cole: Sorry, Em. I guess that was the wrong thing for me to say. It was inconsiderate even. I suppose you could put it down that I merely wanted assurance that you somehow…somewhat…feel the same.
How spot on because I did feel the connection. I’ve never been so in tune with any guy for that matter until Bass came along. But…and there’s the BUT. It will always be there, it seems.
Bass Cole: Emma? I suppose your silence is answer enough. That’s alright. I’m not angry, so don’t worry. I won’t mention it again.
The text message was sent this morning. Do I want to call him and apologize? Explain how Carter took my phone? But if I did, am I ready to answer Bass’s question? Or better yet, am I ready to tell him about Carter?
Bass Cole: Martin called your phone but it went straight to voicemail. I’m just letting you know that he made a reservation Monday night at Melisse. The reservation is for six-thirty.
Business manner, cut straight to the point with no hi or hello. But what did I really expect after all those messages he sent without even replying to him?
Me: Thank you. Tell Martin I will be there.
I stared at my phone for good twenty minutes and waited for his reply, but none came.
Exhausted, emotionally and physically, I dragged my body towards the bathroom for a shower. I checked it again once I got out of the shower, but it showed nothing.
I should be feeling like I’m floating on cloud nine because Carter and I just got back together, but I’m not. My heart weighed heavy.
It still weighed heavy before I dozed off to sleep.
Carter woke me up when he noisily came back to the room, drunk as hell. He stripped to this naked glory and slid inside the bed with me. Pulling me close to him, he whispered half asleep, “I love you.”
I blinked a few times, feeling a little guilty that my thoughts have been consumed by Bass the moment I opened his text messages.
Depleted, I willed myself to go back to sleep and tried to erase Bass Cole’s hypnotizing azure blue eyes.
I tried, but didn’t succeed.
They were simply haunting me.
“Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.”
- David Pratt
23
It was Monday afternoon and I had just got out of class. I was meeting up Trista and Lindsey at the café.
When they learned about me getting back with Carter, they didn’t look too happy. I guess it would take time for them to get over Bass Cole too. They all adored him.
They were both seated when I finally walked into the retro-chic café. And they even ordered my coffee. “You guys are the best!”
“We know!”
Sipping the still-hot coffee, I savored the first taste of my caffeine fix for the day. I ran late to school again because Carter wouldn’t let me out of the damn bed.
“Things are great between you and Carter?” Trista asked, cautiously.<
br />
“Yeah, they are. Why?”
“Are you going to tell Bass?” Lindsey pressed on.
“Yes, I actually plan to…tonight.” Trista and Lindsey both just sighed.
Okay. “What? Just spit it out.”
Lindsey first spoke. “We get you just got back with my brother, but are you sure you want to let go of Bass? I mean, Emma, ding dong? You like Bass! Why don’t you sit tight for a second and really think it through before you give him the axe? Bass really likes you, and to be honest, I think he deserves you way more than my brother.”
Ding dong? I have thought it through, haven’t I?
“Lindsey has a point, doll. I know my love life is hopeless at this point but yours, you could can still salvage it, you know?”
“I have thought it through, so please stop.” Lies…the only thought that’s been occupying my mind were those spellbinding azure eyes of the man. I turned to Trista. “You’re not going to keep this affair going, are you?, Not only are you hurting yourself but your cousin, too.”
Trista instantly looked sad all of a sudden. “I know. But have you ever felt that strong pull towards someone without the need for explanation? Like having them around you…you just feel complete. Like that Twin Souls crap that I read online. He’s your soul mate but so much more. The more you fight with your feelings, the energy becomes stronger. It said that no matter how much you try to cut that tie with the person, your Twin Soul, it would never happen because it’s impossible. He will always be a part of you and you will always be a part of him. With that said, I feel that way with Harry.
Do you guys honestly think that I didn’t feel that tug when we were first introduced? I did, we did, but I thought it was just lust, so I brushed it off. That was two years ago. All that time, there was always a magnetic pull, it was difficult but nothing happened. But this one night, when everyone decided to go to sleep early during a family get together, it happened—we happened. Harry wants to leave my cousin, Leah, but I told him not to. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet and I’m not too sure if I’m ready for my entire family to disown me.”
What. A. Conundrum.
I suppose no matter how much you twisted it around, someone was going to end up hurt. Trista’s not just hurting a person here but she’s hurting people, people that are dear to her, her family. I admired her bravery and at the same time I felt sorry for her. I’d hate to be in her shoes.
“I hope Harry is worth it, Tris. I’ll skin him alive if he’s playing you for a fool,” Lindsey finally spoke up.
“Make sure he’s worth it because if he isn’t, maybe it’s time to move on to greener pastures,” I added as I looked at her saddened face. “How’s Amber doing?”
After her hermit-like hiding in Lake Tahoe, I spoke to her briefly before we all rode out back to school yesterday morning. She said she was tired and that she didn’t feel like talking. I gave her a quick hug and let her be. Amber really wanted to alone. I wasn’t going to nag her.
“She dropped out today and. left for New York to be with her grandmother. She didn’t even give us notice or a goodbye. All I got was a freaking text message.” Trista looked even more upset now. Lindsey and I got the same message.
“Will her grandmother help her?” Amber needed to heal and deal with her drug habit.
“I am keeping my fingers crossed. I really hope so because I don’t know what I’d do if she overdoses. If we had managed to confiscate her cocaine, she’d have just got more later on. She’s stubborn and doesn’t like to be told what to do. It’s hard to help someone when they don’t want to help themselves.”
I was going to ask Lindsey about the men in her life when I got interrupted.
“Here you are!” Carter surprised me as he gave me a big smacking kiss on the lips. “Hey, Tris and baby sis.”
“Hey yourself. What are you doing here? I thought you had class?” I asked as he sat on my retro chic armrest.
“I do and I’m about to head out soon. I just wanted to drop by and say hi. How about I take you ladies out tonight for dinner?”
All three of us exchanged glances. They knew I was going to see Bass tonight, so they remained mum.
“Baby, about that…I’m actually going to go meet Bass tonight. This was planned a week ago.” Sort of, in a sense, for my rain check with Martin.
Carter immediately tensed. “Do you really need to go see him? I don’t think it’s necessary, Em. He can go fuck himself.”
“Uh, you’re such a tool, Carter. You didn’t like it when Emma was making your life a living hell, right? So, back off! You just got her back, don’t make her change her mind now.”
Catty, aren’t we? Lindsey didn’t want me back with Carter–that was obvious. I knew she loved her brother, but I guess she saw what her brother was up to and didn’t like what she saw.
“Just back-up a second there, Linds.” Carter turned to me and spoke close to my ear, ”If this is what you think is best, then I trust you. Okay? I have to run to class. I love you.”
“I love you.”
With a quick kiss, he darted off to his class.
“That was harsh, Lindsey!” Trista chided. Lindsey just shrugged and leaned back.
“I just don’t know. I don’t want him to hurt Emma again. Look, there’s this guy who is super sex on legs that treats her so well and she’s trading that to be back with Carter? I don’t know. I just don’t want you to have any regrets, Em. That’s all.”
“Lindsey has a point, Emma. But if Carter is the one that really makes you happy, then we will fully support you.”
“Thank you.”
The thought of seeing Bass again after five days of not seeing him made my stomach churn.
Tonight, I had to brave it out. I suppose I can try my acting skills tonight. I have to act polished and composed because I don’t know how Bass will be around me. Last time he was with me when I spoke with Martin.
Tonight was going to be different. I was on my own with no Bass to run to and make feel safe.
It was time to put my big girl panties on and act like one.
I dressed with the utmost consideration. I chose my silver/black sequined silk tunic loose dress that had a low curved back and stopped mid-thigh. I left my hair loose and amped up my make-up. I went for the smoky eye look and accentuated the top part of my cheeks and the curve of my eyebrows with a slight white shimmer mousse cream. I applied my candy pink lipstick on and finished it off with a swipe of tinted peach gloss and then blended it together.
It was already twenty to six and I would be extremely late if I didn’t leave right this second.
Frantic, I gathered my silver clutch as I slipped into my silver cut-out bootie shoes in haste. “I’m leaving! Have a great time with lover boy!” I called out to Lindsey, splashing a spray or two of my perfume before dashing out the door. I slipped inside my G-Class white on black Mercedes and headed to the restaurant.
My car was super expensive and my dream car. It was dad’s graduation present since I graduated with honors. Mom didn’t approve of it but dad…he was determined and got it anyway. I was beyond psyched! Speaking of parents…I decided to give them a call.
“Sweetie, how are you?” Mom’s voice came through the car’s speakers. I sighed once I saw the traffic jam that awaited me. Crapper.
“I am well, Mom. I was hoping to speak to you guys tomorrow or the day after? It’s about something important.”
“That sounds serious. What is it about?” Mom sounded worried.
“It sorta is…well it’s about my future…I think I found my niche.” I went on, giving her a clue.
“Hmm…why do I feel like this is going to give me a cardiac arrest?” Mom sounded suspicious. “I will tell your dad. He’s off tomorrow and I will take a day off as well since your Aunt Gemma is here. I want to spend time with her.”
“Great! How is baby Joey?” Joey is my little cousin who is five years old and I adored him to bits.
“Asking for his dad…I jus
t hope that this will be a good transition for him. He’s such a good kid.”
A car honked behind me and I rolled my eyes. Geez, what’s the hurry? Everyone is going bumper to bumper. You sure ain’t going anywhere, so there’s no need for the damn honking! I fumed.
Cali drivers…fucking insane folks they are!
“You shouldn’t be talking and driving at the same time young lady!” My mother scolded me—telling me the same line since I got my driver’s license.
“One word, Bluetooth.”
“I’m getting off the phone now so you can focus. We’ll see you tomorrow. Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you too Mommy Dearest.”
Finally at six-forty, I was outside of the French restaurant, Melisse, on Wilshire Boulevard. I was ten minutes late and because of it I am so nervous I feel like I’m about to piss in my undies.
I took three calming breaths before I got out of the car and handed my keys to the valet peeps.
Once inside, I was greeted by a slim pretty brunette. “Good evening, I’m Alyssa. Do you have a reservation?”
“I’m with the Lombardo party,” I said and noticed how her eyes snapped and sharpened.
“With Bass Cole? He just got here.” She started to become chatty as she eyed me with interest.
“Okay. Um, so can you direct me where the table is located?” My thumb pointed towards the dining room.
She immediately stood ram-rod straight and stepped out to show me to my table. “Certainly, sorry. It’s just that I am huge fan of Bass. I heard he’s going to make a risqué Lombardo film. Is that true? I can’t wait to see him on the big screen. He oozes with raw sexuality, don’t you agree?” Alyssa smiled as she sashayed about.
“I suppose,” I muttered. It’s not that I don’t feel like talking, it’s the fact that she’s talking about Bass and I didn’t feel like talking about him, especially in the state that I am in.
Martin and Bass were already seated in a darkened corner, talking in hushed voices. Martin stood up when he saw me striding towards them and Bass…well…let’s just say he didn’t care much about it.
