by Pamela Ann
He shook his head. “No, I can’t promise that. But what I can guarantee, though, is that I won’t be pestering you on a daily basis.”
Good thing he knew he has a problem with sticking to his promises. Resigned, I reluctantly nodded. “Where do you want to talk?”
“Can we talk in your room, instead?”
Let’s just get this shit out of the way. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Lindsey looked sour when I informed her that Carter and I were going to talk in my bedroom. Once inside, I at on my bed and waited for him to speak. He was leaning against the wall, pensive. What could he be possibly say that will make anything better?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
I started picking on the edges of my ten-year old pillow that my grandmother gave me and can’t let go of when I heard Carter.
“I know there’s nothing that I can say that will make you forgive me. I’ve been so stupid. When you told me that you were late, I started to panic. All of my doubts of becoming like my father surfaced again. It was a big reality check for me. I suddenly felt suffocated. I can’t even describe the kind of relief I felt when you told me you weren’t pregnant. Nothing mattered then because I felt free. Before I even decided to cheat on you, I knew for a fact that it would hurt you but it didn’t stop me. I do love you, Emma. But I don’t know how to accept it and live with it without getting paranoid.”
He came over and sat across from me. The bed dipped with his weight. “I’m really sorry for hurting you this way. There’s no excuse that will make anything better for you. But I love you and I will always love you. Maybe someday, when I am ready to fully accept my love for you, maybe we can try again.”
Fat chance, bitch.
When I looked up and met his eyes, I felt pain. I really wanted things to work out between Carter and me. And he just screwed it up because he couldn’t accept the fact that he loves me? LAME BALLS!
“Well, geez, this was a nice chitchat, Carter. What are you going to say next? That Cece and Amanda were your side whores while you were with me?”
“No, it was just you then, Em, and no one else.” Yeah, sure, I so believe you. Not.
Carter raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. “I fucking miss you, Em. What the hell am I going to do without you? I don’t like that I love you but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. You’re all I see.”
Good, let the ghost of me make you suffer and hound your thoughts.
My breathing hitched when he came closer and touched my cheek. Fuck!
“I’ve missed how your skin feels like when I touch it. You’re beautiful and I just wish things weren’t so fucked up.” Carter moved a little closer.
I wetted my sudden dry lips. I couldn’t do this with him. This was just too much. “Carter, you have to stop.”
“I know, but I don’t know how, Em. I don’t know how to stop…” Carter trailed off as his lips captured mine. Maybe it’d been too long or maybe I somewhat miss this stupid toad but I responded to his fevered, hungered kiss. I moaned when he pushed me down on the bed and positioned himself on top of me, grinding his hips on mine.
A knock came on the door. “Carter! You’re time’s up! You gotta scoot!” Lindsey yelled behind the door.
“Fuck!” Carter cussed against my lips.
Yeah, fuck. Thank you God for Lindsey because I was just about to submit to him again.
Getting off the bed, Carter stood up and gave me a quick kiss. I just stared at him, wide-eyed.
“I love you, Em.” After that, he stormed out and left the apartment, cussing his sister to back off before he did.
Lindsey knocked on my door before she opened it. She strolled in and sat on my bed. “I knew you were in trouble when I didn’t hear voices anymore. I just had to throw in my super life-saving skills.”
This woman is awesome! “Thank you, Lindsey. Yeah, you’re brother almost had me. Fuck! I’m so stupid.”
Lindsey gave me a quick hug. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Carter is just stupid. He’s hurting because of what he did to you, but there is no one to blame but himself.” She kissed my forehead and left me with my thoughts.
And for the next two months, he stayed away, physically not emotionally. He would send flowers and other presents on a weekly basis and he sends me random text messages.
Carter: I love you, my Emma.
Carter: I miss you, my Emma.
Carter: I can’t stop thinking about your lips. I wish you were next to me.
Carter: I saw Pirates of the Caribbean today and couldn’t stop thinking about our Halloween together.
Carter: I bought your perfume today. I just want to smell you so close to me.
Carter: If there will come a time that I want a wife, I want that to be you. If there will come a time where I lie dying, I want your voice to be the last thing I hear. If there will come a time that I will chase after a woman, that woman will be you, Emma. I will comeback for you and I won’t stop until you say yes because it’s not over. It will never be over.
Although I ignored his messages, they were in my thoughts. I had to give him props because he was really getting through to me.
I was simply being mind-fucked.
A month before Greece…
“Emma?”
I was surprised that Carter was waiting for me outside of my class. I have seen him around school from afar, but never up close. From time to time, I could feel his hot gaze follow me around but he never approached me, until today.
“Yes, Carter? What can I do for you?” I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained from doing so. He was exasperating.
“I got an invitation to play for L.A. Galaxy for two seasons a few months back and I accepted it. We have a game next week, I was wondering if you could be there as my good luck charm and wear my jersey?”
He got invited to play for L.A. Galaxy? I was wowed, but I knew this day would come. Carter was fascinating to watch when he played. He dominates the field and I used to love watching him own it. He’s going to be a senior this year and he’s on his way in getting into MLS (Major League Soccer). His dream was to play for FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) and win a World Cup. I have no doubt in my mind that he will get there.
For he is one determined mother fucker.
Carter all in his jersey garb was yummy. What I loved about him was his powerful, strong, thick thighs. They were thick, hard and all manly. There was nothing sexier than a man who knew his craft. Carter plays with precise fluidity when he runs about with the ball on his feet armed with his accurate deadly footwork. He mastered “The Roulette” move that made the famous Zinedine Zidane, a force to be reckoned with. But what I really loved watching him do? It was his overhead bicycle trick when wants to show off before he scores a goal…and then he takes his shirt off rocking the whole fucking stadium.
I loved this man. But that was before he screwed it up.
“I’ll think about it. But I’m not sure about the jersey thing.” I’m not his girl anymore. He made that decision all on his own by choosing the kinky boathouse over us—me.
He handed me his jersey. It was in a white gift bag. I knew without even looking that it would have the number seven stitched on the back, his lucky number.
I hesitantly grabbed the bag from him. My hand tingled when our hands brushed for a second. “Thanks.”
Carter shoved his hands back inside his pockets, he looked unsure. “I guess I will see you next week then?”
“Yeah, I will see you then.”
He looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. With a sad smile, he departed.
“You sure you want to go with me? I mean he’s my brother and all so I have to give some familial support, but you, you don’t have to do this and torture yourself. You don’t owe him anything.”
I’m already dressed and set to go, wearing Carter’s jersey. FUCK!
“Lindsey’s got a point, doll, I don’t know about you going.” Trista gave me
a sad smile.
“It’ll be fine, you guys. I have you two for a buffer. Now, let’s get moving, shall we?”
So we drove to The Home Depot Center, the home field of the L.A. Galaxy. Truth be told, I really wanted to see Carter play. Even if he was such a jerk before, I wanted to see his dreams come to life before his eyes.
And I did see it. When he got on the field, he immediately sought where we were seated, in the reserved seats section, and his face broke out in a massive smile when he found me. I almost smiled back.
But when the game started, all three of us were cheering him on. All this nice fun died when Lindsey looked over to the general admission seating and her eyes landed on Cooper. With him, was Brody, Amanda, Cece and the three nameless biatches along with like fifty people from school right beside our reserved sideline seats.
I wanted to rip Cece and Amanda’s heads off when they stood up and started hollering. Their large boobs jumping along with them.
“Stupid skank-a-bitch,” Lindsey muttered under her breath.
My sentiments exactly!
They definitely popped our damn bubble.
I was relieved when the game was almost over but I was on the edge of my seat since the game was tied. All three of us stood up when Carter had the damn ball and started The Roulette move towards the other side of the field. I knew then that he was going to do the Overhead Bicycle Kick and hoped to God that he would fucking get it in past the goalie. My breathing stopped when I saw him do the difficult move with quick agility and went for the shot. Everything went in slow motion for me. That is… until the black and white ball went inside the goal and move past the head of the goal keeper making them win the game. The stadium went ballistic and Carter took his shirt off and waved it in the air. It bared his hot banging six-pack for everyone to see. He laughed when people started to chant his name.
When he stopped and looked at me, he bunched up his hand, tapped over his heart twice and pointed at me; I thought I was going to melt in a puddle.
Oh, fuck.
“Shit,” both Lindsey and Trista muttered.
He gave me a beautiful smile before he threw his shirt in the air and aimed it towards the screaming fans.
The crowd went wild.
Carter Mason was now official.
After the game, Trista, Lindsey and I left and went to check in at The Chateau Marmont. I suppose this hotel was now our place to stay when we’re in L.A. We simply loved it here.
Carter and the boys rented out a house in Malibu for the after-party. Of course, both Tris and Linds didn’t agree that I should go, but I wanted to.
“I don’t know, Em. Carter still wants you after what he did. What if he tries something with you tonight? Will you be able to resist him?” Trista threw me a question that I couldn’t answer.
Since we would be partying with the Cece and Amanda, I had carefully chosen my outfit. This is the first time in three months, since the boathouse incident, that I’ve been to a party.
I wanted to stand out tonight. And the best way I could go about that was to let my eyes stand out and let my super nice assets (thanks to Ben and Liston’s dedication) stand the hell out. I chose a tight-fitted dress that matched my eyes along with some spanking hot designer nude rivet pumps. My long blonde hair hung loose and I teased it to look like tousled beach hair. The tight dress made my C-cups pronounced with ample cleavage. The back of the dress had a big U-shaped that stopped right above where my butt starts.
Yes, tonight, I plan to rock it with a lot of hot pizzazz.
“The best kind of revenge is to let him see how strong and beautiful you are, with or without him.”
- Emma Anderson
30
When the girls finally saw me, Lindsey and Trista whistled.
“You know, if I was a lesbian, I’d be humping you,” Trista declared. Linds and I both laughed.
“Come on, ladies. Let’s go find Trista someone to hump on with a peen- peen.” Lindsey then opened the door to let us out.
Lindsey loves the word peen. Not penis, cock, prick or whatever, but peen-peen. She was definitely priceless.
Once we got to the party, Carter immediately sought me out like a horny teenager. “Em, you’re doing a good job torturing me. I want to hide you from the gawking eyes of all the guys here. But fuck, you look hot as hell.”
Yeah, you can gawk some more if you want. Just gawk, but nothing more.
“You played well tonight. Congratulations.” I avoided his eyes while I took a sip of my mai tai and looked around the throng of people.
Lindsey was in one corner having an argument with Cooper while Brody watched from afar. What was going on with those three? Didn’t she say that she would not date Brody and she wouldn’t date Cooper because of his fuck up in Tahoe with Cece.
My eyes darted to Trista, who was busy dancing with a guy on the dance floor, laughing. Seeing her this way made me happy. She definitely deserved more than that douchebag Harry.
But the burst of happiness suddenly left me when my eyes connected to Carter, who was still standing next to me. Carter’s eyes were devouring me but he refrained from touching.
After two hours and a half a dozen mixed drinks, Carter was still stuck to me, tagging along like my bodyguard. When guys wanted to talk or ask me to dance, Carter stepped in like a demented dog.
“Why don’t you go and celebrate? Why are you stuck to me?” I asked with annoyance.
“I am celebrating, with you.”
I rolled my eyes at that. Could he be any cheesier? I downed the rest of my mojito and spoke. “Well, I’m going to go find a guy to dance with. Laters!”
When I saw a hot blonde guy at the bar, I darted towards him. This would be a first for me, to ask a guy to dance. But with alcohol in my veins, all the restrictions came off. I tapped his shoulder and the hot blonde spun around. He smiled when he saw me.
“Will you be a dear and be my knight and shining armor tonight?” I asked and playfully bit my lip.
His green eyes lit up. “A hot, blonde bombshell asking me to dance? I am honored.”
I pulled him towards the dance floor and started to dance. The hot man leaned into my ear and whispered, “I think I’ve seen you before but I can’t remember where.”
Not that stupid magazine again.
I opened my mouth to say no but he kept on going. “Did you happen to be with Bass Cole at a club once amongst his friends? I’m Taylor and one of his best friends. I’m almost a hundred percent sure that it was you. You’ve got one of those faces that are hard to forget.”
FUCKING SHIT.
“Oh, right. Taylor.” What the hell? Why didn’t my brain recognize him? I knew I was drunk with Bass that night, but still. Taylor’s face, now I remember.
“Emma Anderson, right?” He even knew my last name? Shit.
“Yes, that’s right. How are you?” Taylor then pulled me off the dance floor and found a spot where we could talk.
“Aren’t you going to film with Bass next month? He’s actually here tonight in L.A. but he heads out to London tomorrow.”
Why was he telling me any of this?
Bass Cole, will I ever fucking forget you?
“Yeah, I’ll be seeing him in Greece.” Before Taylor had a chance to respond to me, Carter stepped in.
“Try another chick, bud. She’s taken.” Carter looked serious as hell.
I certainly was not taken. Carter could just shove his blasted jealousy somewhere else.
Taylor just gave him a jovial smile but stuck his knife quite nicely at Carter. “It’s not like that at all. Emma and I were just catching up since the last time I saw her a few months ago with Bass. I’m heading out to Bass’s house right now. By the way, Emma, I will be visiting the set in Greece. I’ll see you then. Take care.” Taylor then walked off, leaving me with Carter.
Bass’s house…I loved that house. I missed that stupid house.
I met Taylor once (drunk to boot), but from what I gathered from Bass,
they were like brothers. They looked out for each other.
“Can we talk in private?” Carter looked at me while I contemplated his question.
I looked at Carter for a minute. Deciding if I should or not, but seeing how his mood deflated since Taylor, I obliged.
“Lead the way.”
Carter ushered me towards his bedroom with onlookers watching as he took me there.
Safe in the confines of his bedroom, I sat on a chaise lounge that overlooked the ocean.
“Thank you for coming tonight to watch me play. It means a lot to me that you showed up.” Carter stood across from me.
“Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t a big deal.” It was and it wasn’t.
“So, you’re leaving in a month?” He asked.
I nodded. “Yes, in a month. Why?”
What he asked next surprised me. “Are you planning on being with Bass?”
Well…Bass…who knows? Bass touched something inside me and that alone made me hesitant. If I hooked up with Bass, would I come out of it sane? I doubted it. He would consume me.
“Right now? No. But will it change once I kiss him? I don’t have the answer to that, Carter.”
He then sat across from me, too close for my liking, but I didn’t move either. “Emma, thoughts of another guy touching you intimately drives me mental.”
Well, geez. Insert eye roll. “Good, at least you have the luxury of just using your imagination. I, on the other hand, saw it in vivid in HD and attached with the best surround sounds of moaning and groaning, but with not one—but with fucking five women. So, no, you don’t get to complain to me about your tormented thoughts of me fucking Bass.”
“Damn it, Em!” What I just spouted made him mad but it was the truth.
I should have pushed him away when his lips advanced on me, but I didn’t. There was one word to describe Carter’s kiss. Desperate.
It was like he wanted to erase all the bad things that we both did to each other. But no matter how much he could wish it to hell, it was not going to happen.
