by T. J. Kline
She missed him. More than she thought was possible.
She let her fingertips trail over the couch as she made her way toward the bedroom. As soon as she stepped through the doorway, the smell of him surrounded her. His masculine scent hung heavily in the room, as if he had just vacated it, and she inhaled deeply, trying to conjure him from thin air. When it didn’t work, she sat on the edge of the bed, reached for one of the pillows, and lay down on it, closing her eyes and pretending he was there, just for a moment.
She felt pathetic, but at the same time, it made her feel close to him.
“Knock, knock. Oh!” Bailey appeared at the doorway, and Leah sat up quickly. “The door was open. I’m sorry, I . . . ” She moved to sit at the foot of the bed. “Are you okay?”
Leah nodded and took a deep breath, sitting up and squaring her shoulders. “Yeah, I just came by to find . . . ” She looked around the room, praying that an excuse might come to her.
“Don’t even bother.” Bailey rolled her eyes. “I was once in the same position with Chase.”
Leah opened her mouth to ask, but Bailey waved a hand.
“Trust me, it’s a long story.” A smile spread over her lips. “I’ll make you a deal. Let’s go to dinner and drinks instead of for the ride. I’ll tell you all about it.”
Leah shook her head, laying the pillow aside. “I’m not really in the mood for drinks, Bailey. It’s been a busy week and . . . ” Leah shrugged, as if that was the only explanation needed.
She wasn’t about to confess that she hadn’t been sleeping most nights because she was too busy thinking about Gage, wondering where he was and what he might be doing, or worse, who he was doing it with. She hated the fact that she felt like a lovesick teen girl and just wanted to go back to the confident woman she’d been before. Before she’d met him, before he’d gotten under her skin. Before she’d fallen in love with him.
“That’s makes it an even better idea. Let’s go out, just the two of us. I haven’t gotten to know you like Jessie and Julia have.” Bailey’s voice held a plaintive plea Leah had never heard from her before. “Come on, you know you want to. Besides, maybe I can offer you some insight into Gage.” She bumped Leah’s leg with her knee. “We are friends, you know.”
It was hard to resist Bailey when she insisted. And, to be honest, Leah wasn’t sure she wanted to resist. The idea that Bailey might know something about Gage’s inner workings intrigued her. Maybe Bailey could explain what he’d been thinking and whether he’d really been wanting to change her.
“Okay, let me change.”
“I’ll tell Jess that plans have changed. I’m sure she won’t mind a night home with Nathan anyway.”
For a moment, Leah thought about changing her mind and just telling Bailey she was going to stay in and go to bed early. Except she knew she would end up the same way she had every other night this week: staring at the ceiling, cursing herself for the argument with Gage, and wishing she’d done things differently.
THE FEED LOT was packed, and there were no parking spots to be found. Leah almost regretted agreeing to come, but seeing the excitement in Bailey’s eyes had been a boost to her morale. Maybe it would be nice just to get out, the two of them, and have a good meal and get to know one another. She adored Jessie and Julia, but more often than not, they were both busy. She’d never had many friends, so Leah wasn’t about to turn down the opportunity to make one when it arose.
Bailey slid her truck into a parking spot and jumped from the driver’s seat. “I’m so glad you came, in spite of everything.”
“Bailey.” The word came out more like a warning than Leah had anticipated. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about what you saw today.”
Bailey arched a brow, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “What kind of wrong idea could I get? I know a broken heart when I see one, Leah. I’ve had my own. But we’re not here to talk about that tonight.” She frowned. “Unless you want to.”
Leah pulled open the front door as they approached the hostess. “Trust me, I don’t.”
She didn’t miss the suspicious way Bailey eyed her, but Leah was grateful she didn’t push the issue. That would only lead to questions Leah didn’t have the answers to and a conversation about Gage she didn’t want to have. “I am here to have fun and for us to get to know one another better.”
The hostess greeted them warmly. “Bailey Hart for two,” she said to the hostess before turning back to Leah. “Here’s to a girls’ night to remember.”
“Follow me,” the hostess said.
Walking through the crowd, Leah was glad Bailey had called in a reservation. In spite of the bustling dining room, they were escorted to a table set away from most of the noise. According to Bailey, the owner owed her a few favors for filling in as a lead singer for his band on several occasions. It was a good thing she’d called in one of the favors because the building was packed with wall-to-wall bodies gyrating on the dance floor, blocking the view of the band onstage.
“We’d like some water and a pitcher of margaritas, please,” Bailey said as the hostess slid menus in front of them. Turning back to Leah, she said, “You really can’t go wrong with any of the food here. Everything is good.”
Leah heard the band kick off a set and turned around to watch the crowd on the dance floor for a moment. When she looked at Bailey, she could see the longing in her eyes. “Why aren’t you singing, Bailey? I’ve heard you and you’re fantastic.”
Bailey sighed and laid her menu down. “I could be. I even had a record deal, but I walked away from it. It wasn’t right for me.”
Leah nearly choked on the water she’d sipped. “Not right? What singer wouldn’t want a recording deal?”
“Me,” Bailey said with a shrug. “When it came down to a choice between that or Chase, he won, hands down.”
Leah shook her head, finding it hard to believe anyone would turn down a dream like that for a man, even if she was in love. “Why?” she whispered.
Bailey laughed. “Because I had to decide which choice I could live with in the long run. Don’t get me wrong,” she said, folding her hands on the table. “I feel good when I sing, I enjoy every second of it.”
“You’re a natural.”
“Thanks.” Bailey returned her smile. “But I couldn’t walk away from Chase when it came down to it, and I couldn’t ask him to face his deepest regret in order to go with me.” She cocked her head to one side. “Although he did without my asking.”
Setting her glass to one side, Leah leaned forward, but Bailey answered her unspoken question. “His partner was killed on a call, and he blamed himself.”
Leah was surprised that the man who’d laughed so easily had been fighting with survivor’s guilt. Not to mention that someone as independent and free-spirited as Bailey had ever considered being tied down. She seemed like she’d suffocate. “If you don’t mind my asking, how’d you know Chase was the one worth giving it up for?”
Bailey paused for a moment, watching the crowd before her gaze focused on Leah, her eyes shimmering with hope and happiness. “Because I wasn’t really giving anything up. He was the only one who saw me for who I was and loved me in spite of it all. He’d seen me at my worst, all my fears and demons, but he never gave up on us.”
Leah let Bailey’s words fall over her, and guilt rose up as she thought about the argument with Gage. He’d been the only one she’d allowed to see her at her most vulnerable, to reveal her past to, and he’d never wanted to abandon her. She’d forced that upon him, not giving him an opportunity to explain himself. He’d insisted he wasn’t trying to change her and that she’d made him want to be a better man, for her, but she’d only heard what everyone else had told her over the years—that she needed to change. She’d lumped him into the pack of people who had failed her and ruined their relationship because she’d hadn’t stopped long enough to listen, hadn’t trusted him enough to hear what he was really saying.
I’m falling in love with you.<
br />
He’d offered her his heart, but she’d been too busy not wanting to face her own brokenness to see that he filled the emptiness inside her that had been left behind by her past and her refusal to let anyone reach her. In spite of the fact, Gage had.
“I need to find him.”
Bailey smiled across the table at her. “Gage.”
It wasn’t a question. She didn’t need to confess anything to Bailey, she’d known all along.
“Did he tell you?”
“He didn’t need to.” Bailey took a deep breath before pressing on. “Leah, he’s a good man. Not perfect, trust me,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “He’s made plenty of mistakes. We all have. But he’s still a good man, and that’s hard to find. I think you know that.”
Leah’s gaze met the intense blue stare across the table.
“You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I know pain when I see it, and it’s there in your eyes. You think it’s hidden beneath years of acting, but for those of us who’ve hurt and been hurt, we recognize it.” She nodded to the waitress as she brought the pitcher and glasses, pouring a drink and sliding it across the table to Leah. “But you can’t allow whatever has gone before to color your future. I nearly did, and it would have been a huge mistake. The future is yours to design.”
Bailey held up her glass, waiting for Leah to do the same. “To a bright future ahead, full of love and happiness.”
“I—”
“Excuse me,” a husky voice interrupted.
Leah looked up in the dark eyes of the man she wasn’t sure she could face. The same man she wanted to wrap her arms around.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“I WAS HOPING you’d let me take your picture. I want to show everyone exactly what the woman of my dreams looks like.”
Gage knew it was sappy, but it didn’t make it any less true. Leah had changed the way he looked at his life. It was no longer about the image he needed to portray publicly; it was no longer about providing for his family. He wanted her to love him, flaws and imperfections be damned.
“Gage.” Her voice was barely a whisper, as if she was afraid speaking his name would make him disappear. “What are you doing here?”
Bailey smiled up at the two of them, her grin broad and victorious. “I think I’ll just go . . . somewhere else.”
“You planned this, didn’t you?” He didn’t really need to hear her answer to know he was right. Her smile said it all as she patted his cheek. “I love you and I want to see you both happy. You’re good together. I couldn’t watch the two of you stupidly throw away something good because of a bump in the road.”
Gage slid into Bailey’s vacated seat. “If this is what she calls a bump, I’d hate to see a mountain.”
Leah simply stared at him, not giving him the smile he’d hoped for. He needed to see something other than shock on her face. The surprise didn’t tell him anything. He needed to know how she felt about his return.
He reached across the table for her hand. “Leah, say something.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Gage felt his heart drop to his stomach. This wasn’t the response he’d hoped for from her. He needed to touch her, to remind her of how good they were together. She couldn’t really mean for this to be the end.
“Dance with me.” He rose and twisted his fingers through hers. “Please?”
Leah’s eyes misted, and she looked away, but he took a step toward her, brushing the back of his fingers at her jaw. “Leah, please? One dance, that’s all I’m asking for.”
“Okay.”
She stood up and let him lead her to the dance floor as the band played a slow ballad. Instead of sliding his hands to her waist, he tucked the hand holding hers against his chest, pressing a quick kiss to their linked fingers. His other hand found the center over her back, and he ducked his head, inhaling the sweet scent of her, letting it fill him and make his heart race. As the music filled the room, he swayed with her, her body fitting against his, making him ache with need. Holding her, the rest of the crowd disappeared. No one existed but the two of them in this moment.
The lights from the stage fell over her face; her cheek pressed against his chest. As if she could feel his gaze on her, Leah looked up at him, her eyes innocent, begging him for answers he wanted to give her.
“God, Leah, I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you feel like you needed to change.”
“Gage, don’t.”
He couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of him if he tried. It was like the dam had broken open, and he had to tell her everything or he’d fade into nothing.
“No, don’t stop me now.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I need you, not the other way around. You are perfect the way you are. There is nothing about you I would change except one thing—that I’m not with you.”
He stopped in the middle of the floor and cupped her face in his hands, lifting her chin so that she couldn’t help but see the truth in his eyes. “No matter what was going on in my life, there has always been something missing. You. You are what I can’t live another day without.”
A single tear slid from her golden brown eyes, and it broke him. He wanted her to know how he felt about her, but he couldn’t hurt her, and that was what he was doing. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and realized the music had ended and the band had picked up the pace, while they still stood in the middle of the floor.
“Let me take you home.”
“Gage,” she began. He didn’t want to hear her reject him again.
“Just a ride home, Leah. Nothing more. You don’t have to say anything.”
Please, don’t say anything.
He’d made a big enough fool of himself. Gage went back to the table, where Bailey was waiting, a triumphant smile on her face.
She passed him Leah’s purse. “We girls watch out for one another.” Bailey arched a brow at him in warning. “I got you this far, now take her home and don’t screw this up.”
LEAH’S INSIDES WERE a whirlwind of turmoil. Her brain kept telling her to keep her mouth shut, that Gage was far better off finding someone else. Someone he could show off in public, someone whose past wouldn’t come back to haunt him, someone untainted. But her heart was breaking at the thought of letting him go for good. She wanted him; she loved him. And wanted to be loved by him in return.
You are perfect the way you are. There is nothing I would change. I need you.
The words she’d longed to hear from someone her entire childhood. Gage had given her the one thing she’d given up hope of ever getting. But in her heart, she knew now the words weren’t enough, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that they could be. The words only meant anything if they were coming from Gage.
The car was quiet as he drove her back to the ranch, but Leah’s pulse pounded in her ears. She wanted to say something, but she knew that they couldn’t have a discussion this way, in the car. She wanted to see his face, his eyes, to know that he understood her.
As if feeling her gaze on him, Gage reached his hand across the console of the Challenger, winding his fingers through hers.
“Leah, it’s okay. Your friendship means more to me than anything else.” He glanced her way, his dark eyes shadowed from the blue lights of the dashboard. “No matter what, I’m always your friend.”
Tears flooded her eyes, and she turned toward the window before he could see them. In twenty-seven years, only one person had stood by her, even in the face of her self-destructive tendencies, but now Gage was willing to take up the torch Nicole had held proudly.
Gage slowed as he drove past the spot where they’d first met, when her car had overheated. What she’d considered bad luck at the time had turned out to be one of the luckiest moments of her life. Had she not been stranded on the side of the road, he wouldn’t have been there to help her. Their initial miscommunication had turned into something they could laugh about, especially knowing him as well as she did now. Leah couldn’t h
elp the smile that spread her lips as she thought about their first meeting.
“Don’t think I can’t see your smile reflected in the window.” He chuckled from beside her as he turned off the highway and headed down the road leading to Heart Fire Ranch. “I stand by my original comment. I was talking about the car. How many times do I have to tell you?”
If he could see her reflection, then he’d also seen her tears. As usual, there was nothing she could hide from him. She wiped a hand over her cheek before turning back to him. “I know you were.”
“You do?”
She nodded and smiled sadly. “If you’d been talking to me you’d have said something like ‘Did you sit in some sugar? Because you’ve got one sweet ass.’ ”
Gage laughed out loud, the sound rushing over her, filling the hollow places in her heart. “I would never say that.”
“No? Then it would have been ‘Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a great set of buns.’ ”
Gage groaned and rolled his eyes, but his smile grew wider as he turned down the long gravel driveway, passing the sign that announced their entry at the ranch. “Not even close.”
Gage slowed the car in front of the cabin, pretending he didn’t notice Jessie as she came out on the porch of the main house, watching, ever-vigilant. He shut off the car and faced Leah.
“You deserved one I’ve never used before.”
She could see the desire in his deep brown eyes as they swept over her, and she held her breath, unable to even ask him what it would have been. Gage gave her a half-smile, the one she’d always thought of as his playboy grin, but that, she now knew, was just Gage. Fun-loving, sweet, kind, gentle, flattering Gage. The man she wanted to throw her arms around and beg to love her forever.
He raised his hand and brushed her hair back from her face with a finger, barely caressing her as he tucked it behind her ear. “If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”
Her breath caught at the sweet seduction of his words, but before she could even respond, he got out of the car and walked around to open her door, holding out his hand to help her.
