by Inia Jardine
'Mr Popularity..., well I have also done many a stupid thing in my life that I regret but we just have to deal with any consequences as best we can. That's life for you. We learn as we go along.'
He looks down at me, pulls me tighter and kisses me long and hard. 'Let's take this slow dance somewhere private.'
We walk back to the hotel hand in hand and stop to smooch every few minutes. He is addictive I must say. His kisses are like mind altering drugs; they make you feel so good you just want to feel this way forever.
The last day of my Jamaican holiday passes in a flash. Jonah and I spend most of it in my bungalow tiring ourselves out to the point of collapse. We make love in every way possible and then some like there is no tomorrow. We write the Jamaican version of the Kama Sutra with variations, all because there would most probably not be a tomorrow for us. It is bitter-sweet.
‘Jonah, I will dedicate this book about slavery to you if it ever happens, keep an eye out for it. Will send you a complimentary copy. Thanks so much for all your help. I could not have done this without you. It is much better now than the stuff that got washed out in the rain!’
What a happy day that was, sigh.
Throughout all of this happiness there is one thing that bothers me. I eventually ask him.
‘Jonah, why have you not shown me where you live? Are you perhaps embarrassed to have me meet anyone, like a wife or children?’
‘Not at all Lilia. I am afraid. No, embarrassed.'
This big guy, afraid? ‘Afraid and embarrassed of what, my big strong man?’
We are walking along the beach one last time at sunset. It is hard enough saying goodbye to this lovely place let alone this man. What will happen in our respective futures? I don’t want to waste time on that and just want to enjoy him every moment we have together. But I wonder, still I wonder, is this the way life’s meant to be…
‘Jonah, nothing about where you live can really be that bad can it? Even if you live in a shanty town shack I will be OK with it. My one friend Darkey, a colleague only – don’t laugh, Darkey was his name I promise - lived in a squatter camp' I start protesting but he shushes me.
‘Did Darkey share your bed?'
'Not the issue.'
'Okay Lilia. I have not shared this with anyone before you. There will be no skeletons in closets between us. But remember, just because I am not white does not mean I am dirt poor.’
I pull him down with me onto the sand and put my hands in his. ‘Jonah, it’s OK. Sorry. Whatever it is, it’s OK. Are you married? I’m going home tomorrow. Do you have twenty kids? I’m going home tomorrow. Doesn’t matter.’ I sound braver than what I feel.
‘You do not know how wide off the mark you are. I was able to assist you so well with your research because I have insider info so to speak. I am the many times great grandson of a slave and a plantation owner’s daughter. They had hundreds of African slaves on the vast estate where I live now. It was owned by a British family, and they grew bread fruit, coconut, coffee and sugar.
My roots are entangled between the oppression of the slaves and the excess of the masters. I live in a huge home which I inherited but I am ashamed of it. I cannot look my poorer countrymen in the eye and I don't socialise much as I feel that I don't fit in anywhere.
I am a mulatto. I hate that word. So much so that I treated myself to a vasectomy as a twenty first birthday celebration. I did it in order to sleep with as many women as I wanted to without the fear of having children. My mom never knew as she wanted grandchildren.
I cannot give any child of mine a proud history of slaves fighting for their emancipation, for I am part slave owner. Part of those who committed the atrocities you hate so much.’
I reach out for his hand again but he looks away.
‘My many times great grandma was burned to death in a fire initiated by slaves in the 1820’s. My great, great grandpa survived the fire as a newborn baby and was sent to an orphanage by his mother’s family in England as he was obviously unwanted and illegitimate. They must have felt that killing a baby was too much, although they did not have much mercy towards the slaves otherwise. Later, as an educated young man he claimed his birthright and was given back the plantation after an epic legal battle which lasted until well into his old age.
The subsequent generations, my mother, her parents and her grandparents, stayed there and renamed the Estate to Gorgoleta, Place of the Butterflies. That was the creole name the slaves called it because of the many butterflies. They adopted the surname Hibbert as it is fairly common in Jamaica and they did not want the English connection anymore. I don't even want to know what the surname of that original family was. I grew up here as an only child of an unwed mother. My blood line will die out with me, there is too much shame. I am so sorry to tell you this knowing how you feel about the injustices.
If you want to forget about me because of it, I accept it.’
‘You are not getting rid of me so easily. Everything you have told me makes you what you are, how can it be wrong? I fell in love with you (did I just say that?) for the man you are and your circumstances must have made you that way. Whatever they were. How can I hold you responsible for what your forefathers did in any way, because I don’t want to be held responsible for what mine did at all?’
He looks at me and hugs me.
‘And Jonah’ I add mischievously,’ I don’t like kids much anyway so that part I am really happy with. People tend to make so much of kids like they are all important and can do what they want. The world is overpopulated anyway.’
I really don't, it’s the truth, but I would maybe have liked only one little girl at some stage to be totally honest. I have always had pets to love, but would a little child, a girl, have been that bad? Might not have been with the right partner to support me. But that is one decision I cannot overturn, ever. However much I may want to.
'Lilia did you mean what you said there?'
'What?'
'If you don't remember it's not important.'
‘You never talk about your father though, is he still alive?’
‘I don’t know who he is. My mom was ashamed or something, she never wanted to tell me. She raised me all by herself. The chance to know who fathered me died with her. I loved her so much, she was all I had, I never wanted to possibly hurt her by asking too much about him.’
He embraces me in a vice-like grip but not before I see a shiny little drop run down his cheek. Well, now that is it for me. My tear ducts are very close to full at all times. I start crying for Jonah’s ancestors and for the hurt he has lived with all of his years. For his lonely mom. I can relate to that.
The sun is going down over the mountains as he softly whispers to me ‘take me back with you, I cannot stay in this place any more, the memories are haunting me. If you meant what you said I will sell up everything and we can buy us something nice wherever you want. Please Lilia, please say yes? Give me a chance at a normal life with you.’
Almost fainting of shock I stammer ‘I don’t know you at all Jonah, give me some time please. I like the guy I have come to know over the past few days and yes, I have fallen in love but it has only been a few days, a holiday romance.’ I have actually promised myself never to get seriously involved again after my last disastrous effort.
‘I promise that I will seriously consider that in time. Yes, I have very strong feelings for you already but can you give me a bit of time before my answer? We have known each other for less than three days.’
I am looking into those dazzling eyes and trying to find something which will help me decide what I must do.
‘Fair comment Lilia. It is just a dream anyway; I have a good job here. We create a lot of jobs at the estate so we do some good. Your plane leaves at 09:30, let's make the most of the last few hours. With that Jonah lays me down on my back. He looks around the area quickly to make sure that there is nobody around in the dusky evening light, and crumples my dress up roughly. Before I can comment on his suggesti
on he effortlessly slips inside me. I was obviously wanting this. Hmm.
‘That’s unfair! I pant. ‘How can I think when you do this.’ I try to clasp my legs together (must admit I don't try too hard) in vain and he proceeds to do what he does best.
‘My darling Jonah, yes please come with me, come see where I live. I don’t want to be away from you for too long.
I do not think I can live without this; I have become addicted to you so quickly. You are worse than drugs!
Come with me, even if just for a short holiday, you have to experience rural British life with me for the first time. I am also new to it and we can do it together. What a hoot we will be to the locals. An ex-pat Sef Effrican and a learned, weed smoking Professor. And you can meet my Willow, and my other two charming cats. They are love divine in soft furry bundles.’
‘I promise to come as soon as my work allows. Otherwise you might have to come and seek the sun again sooner, you wouldn’t mind would you?’
‘Hey I am starting a new job I can’t play hooky so soon.’
I suddenly wonder with all my heart whether he could just possibly be the ONE for me. It all happened too fast, but this must be fate. I’m sure it was meant to be. Hell, at forty-five I guess I have waited long enough. It's my turn.
Saying goodbye to Jamaica is suddenly much easier. My Jamaican is coming to visit me soon. For how long I will have to wait, I don’t know. But I do hope that it happens very soon.
Just before I leave for the airport I phone my friend Bella to ensure that she will come and pick me up at the Arumvale airfield.
‘Bella my friend, you have to meet this guy. Jonah is of mixed Jamaican ancestry, he is beautiful. Dusky skinned like you, but darker. If this were a movie, a guy like Seal would play his part. Mixed with a bit of Idris Elba. A combination of rugged looks, strength and intelligence.
Jonah is a perfect male specimen, period. He is a giant of a man, great big heart, a delightful guy with a charming nature. Starting to go grey amongst the gleaming ebony hair. No dreads for him, his hair is very short. And he wears glasses, I love glasses. He has beautiful eyes. And of course a stallion in bed.’
‘Wow Lilia he sounds absolutely too perfect. Are you not getting too excited over a holiday fling though? I don’t know you like this, falling for a stranger in a few short days – you are usually the voice of reason.’
‘Hands off hey – but I will tell you all when I arrive. We will see, I will most probably be disappointed again but I have a good feeling about him. See you later. Got to go. Kiss Willow, Flower and Rainbow for me and tell them that mommy will be back soon-soon.’
4
Arumvale 2012 - home.
The village of Arumvale is nestled in the Arumvale river valley, a green and bountiful place. So far from Jonah and Jamaica, but it is going to be my new home for at least the next six months, maybe longer. Mine and that of Willow, Rainbow and Flower - my three beloved cats.
‘Hey Bella! Over here! Hi!’ As if she cannot see me. I brought more luggage back from Jamaica than what I did when I emigrated here from South Africa. The Arumvale airfield is fairly small but very convenient, so much less painful to navigate than Heathrow.
‘Hey Lilia, lovely to see you again. Wow, you look like you have been on a health farm! Ooh, and you do have stars in your eyes. You are positively glowing. He must be a very special guy.’
‘Brr it's so cold!’ What a culture shock from humid sunny Jamaica! But I must say I prefer the weather sort of in between, not too cold not too hot.
'Oh Bella, Jonah is amaazing! What a wonderful man. First, let us get home so that I can kiss and hug my fur babies and give you all your goodies. Luckily I exchanged all my rands for pounds before I left and the exchange rate is very favourable between the pound and the Jamaican dollar at present. Thank you very much for looking after my new home and my most treasured cats. I hope they behaved themselves!'
'I thought you may have brought him with but I guess holiday romances are just that hey, over after the plane takes off. The cats behaved themselves very well Lilia, though they definitely missed you. It is so cold already now that they have been sleeping most of the time.
They love the sunny spot in the conservatory off the lounge and have been spending days there, and night times close to the radiator in your room snuggled up in your duvet. It must have comforting smells of you and their home.'
'I think it helps that they are all fairly close to elderly and very laid back. I bet the bags and bags of catnip helped! You know what - I had my own taste of catnip in Jamaica and boy did it cause me to lose control in a big way!'
'As soon as we have a cup of tea ready you must tell me everything.'
After the fairly emotional reunion and with all three very happy cats purring and kneading on and around me on the bed, Bella unwraps her gifts. The first thing she tries on is her floor length wrap dress in gold and green.
' I knew you would look stunning in that! Gold is your colour. I am convinced that you are some reincarnated Mayan goddess or something Bella. Wow, I must never introduce Jonah to you, he will forget about me in a flash!'
'I like I like! The Christmas party for Samir Properties will never be the same again! I am going to knock their socks off. The German investors will hand over their fortunes willingly if I give them a glimpse of this leg in the middle of a UK winter!' Bella twirls around delightedly until her mobile phone starts ringing.
'Speak of the devil. I have to take this' and as she waltzes out the door I hear her murmur in that husky voice. 'Good day Herr Leibenstein how may I help you?’
The other parcels and telling of the stories will have to wait, real life has caught up with us again. I will have to email Jonah at some stage with my new phone number but what if he does not want it? What if he thinks like Bella that this was a once off holiday romance thing? If out of sight means out of mind?
After I unpack and put the gifts to one side, I stack all my, our, research notes in my desk drawer. 'I'm going to get to you soon, I promise. Your stories have to be told'.
First, it is the Arboretum design and implementation that is going to take all my time. I have to go into town to buy a new laptop as I only brought an external drive from South Africa with all my work and programs on. I need to finalise my drawings before next week Monday.
The first phase of the castle arboretum that I have been appointed to design will be unveiled on the second of April next year. I am the designer but have to keep the implementation rolling according to my plans, and assist the project manager.
When I get home I am going to email Jonah. If he does not want to hear from me, bad luck.
Later that night…
In the midst of flying over hills and through clouds, jumping over all kinds of barriers & obstacles in my dream, a shrill sound awakens me. For a moment I have no idea where I am but then I feel my cats next to me in the dark. This alien sound must be the first ring of my new telephone. From a young age I have associated night time phone calls with death or disaster and I get this cold feeling.
'Hallo?' I venture carefully. I don't know yet what phone etiquette in the UK would be for midnight calls.
'Hey Lilia, how's it hanging...' a voice dripping with soft slow seduction and sunshine instantly melts my insides.
'Jonah?' I need to be awake for this. I reach over to turn on my bedside lamp and the phone clutters to the floor. 'Shite shite shite' I exclaim in a quite un-ladylike fashion as I feel around for it on the floor.
'Jonah, I need to find the stupid phone and it is dark! Don’t hang up.'
Just then I hear a booming voice shouting 'open the door it's the police you are surrounded! but it's coming from my floor. I grab towards the sound and touch the phone while laughing myself silly.
'Jonah I knew there was a reason why I fell in love with you at the drop of a hat. You are crazy.'
'But it worked! You are not busy are you? Did I interrupt anything?'
'You crazy bugger, it is i
n the middle of the night here. I was sleeping.'
'Dreaming of me?'
'You wish. No, I was flying. It was so cool, I was free as a bird in the sky. But yeah, I think maybe I was flying to you. I miss your bod.'
'Thanks for the number, babe. Hmm do you know what hearing your voice does to me? I will give you a hint. It is rock hard and slightly damp.'
