She gave him the sort of indulgent smile I’d seen mothers give misbehaving children. “You keep thinking that, and I’ll tell the bunnies you’re pining after that special girl who shagged you after hours.”
“Which one?” I asked, despite myself.
“Exactly,” Betsey said with a smirk as she opened the door to the parking lot. “So many girls will suddenly think they’re the one.”
“Bitch,” Adam muttered.
Betsey blew him a kiss and went outside.
“That girl’s a menace.” He shook his head. “She’s been training though, and once she’s ready to work on her own, she’s going to be amazing. Her art on paper is incredible already. It’s different working on skin, but she’s got the raw skills and the drive.”
An unwelcome flare of jealousy filled me—and it was followed quickly by guilt. I had no right to care whether he thought Betsey was amazing. I had no rights at all where Adam was concerned, especially now that I was going to make things work with Tommy.
“What’s up? If you’re not here for ink, did…” His words faded away suddenly, and I knew what he’d seen. My hair had been hiding my bruised face, but when I moved he’d seen it. I could tell by the way his gaze narrowed, and he began looking at the rest of me.
I squirmed. I knew how I looked. My face was bruised from what happened at work, and even though I had a long-sleeved shirt on, some of my bruises still showed. I watched Adam’s friendly expression fade as he noticed my injuries.
Adam caught my hand in his and pushed the sleeve back. “Something you wanted to tell me, Sasha?”
I met his angry gaze and said, “Tommy and I talked last night.”
He raised both brows. “This is from talking?”
I refused to look away. “We’re back together.”
“Are you a fucking masochist?” Adam stared at my wrist. “Is that it, Sasha? You like how he hurts you. What happens when he goes too far some night? The way you two fight is going to explode worse and worse.” He touched my bruised face and his anger seemed to vanish. “I don’t want that for either of you. I saw him last night, at The Blind Tiger. He chatted up some waitress after telling me how you’d come back to him. He left with her, but here you are covered in marks. Is that what you really want? A man who screws around, who hurts you, who gets you all fucked up on drugs? That’s who he is.”
I stepped backward. “What Tommy and I do is none of your business. I’m not one of your girls.”
He let out a sigh and muttered, “Whose fault is that?”
For a moment, I didn’t know what to do or say. I just stared at him. We were friends. That was it. He had to know as well as I did that we couldn’t be more.
“Do you really think I don’t notice the way you look at me?” He stepped closer, backing me up against the counter where Betsey conveniently wasn’t. “Do you know how easy it would be to not let my arm brush against you when I tattoo you? Do you think I’m like that with everyone?”
I stared at him, feeling thirteen kinds of stupid. I had thought that.
“I see you shiver when I touch you. It’s no accident when I let my arm rest on you so the vibrations of the machine go into your body.” He put a hand on either side of me, trapping me between his muscular arms. “It’s the most unprofessional thing I’ve ever done, Sasha. The way I touch you when I work on your tattoo is not normal…. I can’t help myself though. You looked like you were going to fall apart when I started tattooing your stomach, and I wanted you to. You don’t belong with Tommy… and—” He broke off.
Adam stepped closer, and then it wasn’t just his arms keeping me in place. We were chest-to-chest, hip-to-hip.
I closed my eyes and took a steady breath. I couldn’t do this. Not to him. Not to Tommy. Not to myself.
He leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, “Don’t go back to him, Sasha. You’re no good together. You know I’m right. Think about the dreams you said you had for the future. Do you see him giving you that little house and kids? Do you want to raise kids with a small time drug dealer?”
I felt like my already unstable nerves were about to shatter. “He loves me.”
Adam’s lips pressed together in a harsh line. I’d seen that look when he was about two minutes from a fight, but I’d never seen him look at me like that.
Silently, he stepped away from me.
I stumbled a little from the loss of his body against mine. I closed my eyes for a moment, attempting to find some sort of composure. The only plan I had was pretending the last few minutes hadn’t happened.
I opened my eyes and stared at Adam as I announced, “Tommy and I are headed out of town for a while. If I give you my key, could you just… hold it? I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”
Adam walked over to the door, locked it, and flipped off the big neon sign that said OPEN. It was as close to a notice that I was in trouble as I was going to get. This wasn’t the good sort of trouble either.
“Don’t,” I said.
He folded those beautiful tattooed arms over his chest, making the already big muscles bulge. “This is more than getting back with him. What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lied. I wished I didn’t have to lie, but a man was dead and I had a bunch of drug money now. Tommy was out turning the drugs into more money. The number of things that were crazy illegal was ridiculous. I didn’t ask for any of it to happen. I’d rather the drugs and the money were in the live hands of the creep that came into The Coffee Cave, but that wasn’t possible. I wasn’t going to say I was sorry that Jess had shot that guy either. I still wasn’t sure if he’d have shot me. At the very least, he’d have continued to beat me.
“You can talk to me,” Adam said. “We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
I nodded. “Always.”
“Then don’t lie to me,” he said in a gentle voice.
Even after the ugly things I had just said, he wanted to help me. There was something in Tommy and Adam’s DNA that was fucked up. I was pretty sure I didn’t deserve either of them, but Tommy at least knew that I wasn’t a good person. He’d seen my temper and kissed me afterward. He’d seen me so high that I couldn’t speak, and he’d fucked me till I was okay again. I could be awful, and Tommy still loved me.
Adam deserved someone better than me. I’d ruin him. But Tommy was a mess like me. Maybe we could get better together. At the least, I wouldn’t mess him up any more than he was.
I tried to look innocent, smiling up at Adam, eyes wide. “Everything’s under control.”
He shook his head. “Do you know when people say that? When shit is all fucked to hell and back. What did Tommy do now? And how did you get involved?”
“Nothing. He didn’t do a thing.” I sighed. “Just keep hold of my key, okay? I’ll call you if I’m not coming back.”
He put his hands on my arms and held me steady when I tried to walk to the door of the shop. “Let me help you, Sasha. You need to stay away from him.”
Stronger girls have bent under the intense stare that Adam was giving me. He knew he was gorgeous, and he was giving me those I-care-about-you eyes. I didn’t even think he realized when he did it anymore. It was reflex. Like breathing.
“Come on, Sash,” he whispered my name while staring into my eyes. “Just talk to me.”
I felt like I was the only girl in the world when he looked at me that way and said my name. I wondered if he was well aware of how persuasive he could be. He always acted like he found all the bunny love confusing, but right now, I suddenly wanted to question everything I knew about Adam. How could he be unaware of the power he had over any woman with a pulse when he stared at them like that?
I was frozen under his gaze. He was too close, and I wanted to be a horrible person. It was all I could do to remind myself that Adam was forbidden… for so many reasons.
I wasn’t ever going to join the ranks of ink bunnies that only got tattoos as a way to proposition him or the club girls who were all but giving him
handjobs in the bar. There were a million girls in line to get their one night wrapped around his hard, sweaty body. I wouldn’t become a million and one.
“Sasha, please just think about what you’re doing,” Adam urged. He had begun to rub his hands up and down my arms.
I bit my lip to keep the whimper from escaping. It wasn’t fair that he was touching me and looking at me like that now that I’d decided to leave town with Tommy. Up until today, I’d only felt his hands on my skin when he was tattooing me.
I stepped away, moving out of his reach. “I have. I’m leaving with Tommy. Just… just don’t ask questions. He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s taking care of me, and everything will be fine.”
He scowled, and his lips pressed together in a hard line. But he still held out his hand for my key.
I dropped my spare key into his palm. “Thank you.”
All he did was nod. Then he walked over to the door and pushed it open. He didn’t say a word as I walked past him. When I looked back, the sign lit up and said OPEN again, and Adam had disappeared inside Sinners Ink where I couldn’t see him anymore.
Chapter 6
Adam watched Sasha walk away, a sight he was all too familiar with by now. Being patient for a girl wasn’t something he’d ever done… not before her. Usually a smile and a once over look was all it took for a girl to agree to whatever he suggested. That was all he’d needed for the past decade. Sasha was special though. Yeah, he saw how she looked at him, but she listened to him too. She insisted on doing everything the hard way—no hand-outs, no leaning on anyone. Hell, she was determined to get up and fix dinner for him when he stopped by her place because she had the flu. The girl was fierce. If he’d met her before she met Tommy, he might have considered setting down real roots for a change.
“Sugar’s the problem then?” a voice asked.
He turned and found Betsey standing in the shop, looking like she was ready to offer him a hug and a pat on the head.
“The bunny deterrent? You’re hung up on her, and that’s why you’re on this chastity kick, right?” Betsey clarified when Adam didn’t reply.
“Sasha’s a friend.”
Betsey snorted. “ I’m a friend, so are Hawk, Chelsea, and Viking Mike. You don’t pin any of them to the counter. I’ve seen all sorts of nonsense, Adam, but that’s the first time I had to walk out of the room here. You two looked like you were ready to ignite.”
“Leave it alone, Bets.”
She held her hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying you need to either fuck her or find an outlet because you’re a bitch lately. It’s like you’ve got man-PMS and went on a crash diet at the same time.”
“Man-PMS?”
She waved her hand like she was brushing it away. “The point, my dear bunny-bait, is that something tells me that you haven’t ever been pussy-free since… you were old enough to want it.” She looked at him slowly from boot to shaved head, and then she shook her head and grinned. “Like I told Sugar, I don’t fuck where I work, but if I did, I’d be here to help you with your problem. I’m not, and if she’s not either, you need to get some from one of the willing thumpers.”
Adam closed his eyes and willed himself not to snarl at her. Betsey was trying to be a friend. There was nothing she was saying that was untrue either. He’d just spent the past several months working to get closer to Sasha, avoiding his usual casual encounters. He thought that would show her that she mattered. He’d been patient, not rushing her, but not getting caught up in anything else.
And now she was back with Tommy.
“Fuck it,” Adam muttered. “When’s my first appointment?”
Betsey looked at the book. “Three.”
“Call Mike. See if he can come in early.”
“Are you taking the day off?”
Ignoring her question, Adam walked back to his station. He wasn’t going to tell the office manager/tattooist in training that he was walking out to get his dick wet and attitude improved. She knew far too much as it was.
Once he heard that Mike was on his way, Adam called Ella. “You free for an hour or two? It’s Adam.”
“I can be.”
“Meet me at my place in thirty minutes.”
She laughed. “Definitely.”
Adam disconnected and looked up to see his reflection in the mirror. This was who he was. He was a fool to try to change.
There weren’t any appointments, and Mike was less than twenty minutes from arriving when Adam walked out. Betsey, smartly, said nothing as he passed her.
His one concession to bad decisions was foregoing a helmet. Arizona allowed riders to decide for themselves if they were over eighteen. It was stupid. He’d heard plenty about guys dying in accidents, but he needed to keep a few vices. Women and his Super Glide Harley Davidson were the two he couldn’t give up. He straddled his bike and headed toward the one-room studio apartment he’d called home the past few years. It wasn’t much, but he didn’t need much. He wasn’t staying in Rio Verde forever. It was just a stop along the road. All he needed was a rental garage to store his Explorer and bike trailer, a small apartment to store his few things, and some cash for food, rent, and a gym membership since hauling his own weights around was impractical. He didn’t want to be tied down with things.
The ride to his apartment was too short for his mood, but hopefully Ella would remove some of his stress. Three months without sex had been hell on his mood. The only times he’d felt good lately were when he had worked out hard enough that he was exhausted or when he saw Sasha.
He’d thought it was worth it.
He’d thought she was worth it.
But she went back to Tommy.
Adam didn’t even speak to Ella when he saw her waiting at his door. He poured all of his pent-up frustration and need into a kiss that had her wrapping both legs around him.
When he paused to unlock the door, she nipped his throat and said, “Nice to see you, too.”
He laughed. Ella was reliable. She wasn’t looking for promises like so many of the girls who came around the shop. She was a friend of sorts. They didn’t talk much, but they didn’t have any lies or expectations either.
Once inside the apartment, she lowered her feet to the floor and stepped back to give him an appraising look.
He pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it aside.
“I’ve missed this,” she said as she stripped.
He didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure if he had missed it. He certainly missed getting off. But casual sex? He wasn’t sure he’d missed that part.
He unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down.
“I missed that too,” she murmured in a cheeky voice as she lowered her eyes to his cock.
Then Ella was kissing and stroking and nipping him all over. She murmured the usual flattering things. It should have excited him, but his mind wasn’t any more cooperative than his body.
Adam wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly how he looked, and he’d been using it to his advantage since he was a teenager. That was when he realized that working out equated to getting laid. It was a fucking epiphany, like the angels sang and light shined down from heaven, when he realized it was really that easy. He hit the weights hard the summer before his sophomore year of high school, and by the time school rolled around that year, Adam discovered that there was a whole list of girls who now looked at him like he was something new. By Halloween, he’d discovered that some of those girls—older ones mostly—were willing to teach him what they liked. He learned where and how to touch them. More importantly, he learned that as long as they got off first and often, they’d be willing to do just about anything.
Ella was on her knees in front of him now.
He groaned as her mouth closed over him. This, he had missed. All of his worries and responsibilities vanished when he was naked with someone equally desperate to chase bliss.
But then he made the mistake of looking down at her, of grabbing her hair in his hands. Ella was a tiny, curvy, litt
le thing with long blonde hair. She was also gifted in blow jobs. What she wasn’t was Sasha.
He pushed Ella away and led her over to his bed.
Shoving thoughts of Sasha out of his mind, he focused on the girl in his arms.
Several times, she tried to move so she could fuck him. He gently shoved her back and kissed her instead.
He caught her frown the second time and saw her open her mouth to speak, so he kissed her thoroughly so she didn’t ask questions he couldn’t answer.
It was ridiculous, but he couldn’t do it. Fucking someone because he was pissed at Sasha wasn’t a good idea. His body objected painfully to that realization, but he wasn’t going to be a slave to his needs.
“Are you okay?” Ella whispered.
He didn’t answer that either. He was horny, frustrated, and angry. Definitely not okay.
He’d called Ella here though, and he’d never walked away from a girl or woman who wasn’t smiling. That was the number one lesson he’d learned as a teenager: Always satisfy your partner. He wasn’t about to fail on that.
“Come here, doll.” Adam pulled her up and flipped her onto her back.
He saw the gleam in Ella’s eyes. He might not be able to fuck her, but that didn’t mean she was going to leave without at least one orgasm. She wasn’t to blame for his unwillingness to fuck. That was all him.
“No scratching,” he reminded her. The danger of a shaved head when his face was between a woman’s thighs was that far too often they seemed to think that it was okay to drag their nails over his skin since there was no hair to grab. Adam wasn’t going to let Sasha see him with scratches. He didn’t owe her anything. She’d made that clear. Hell, he thought, I probably won’t even see her again. She’d never know.
But I would.
As Ella writhed under Adam’s tongue and hands, he imagined Sasha. Again. Thinking of her was all it took to make him so hard he thought he could come without a single thrust. He pretended it was Sasha under his tongue, and he wanted her to scream in pleasure. He wanted her to know that no one, especially his jackass cousin, could make her happier than he could.
Unfiltered & Unlawful (The Unfiltered Series) Page 6
