"Nothing to say?" Benjamin asked.
Shawn looked at him and said right back, "Trust me, you don't wanna know." He knew it was a mean thing to say, but he wasn't about to be hung out to dry for something that was not his fault, he had enough shit on him, he wasn't about to take another bucket dumped on for something that had been taken out of his control.
"I see, so you probably don't even want to be bothered with this - do you?"
"Look Benjamin, you're a grown man okay, so I'm not gonna feed you some bullshit line. I had nothing to do with creating this mess, all right? This entire fucked up scenario was baked up by my brother and most certainly, your mother. It lays at her door, entirely. Because no matter what a shit - Jake can be - he's not a rapist! He didn't take her against her will. She volunteered to fuck me up, and inadvertently - you as well! Up until my return, I hadn't a clue about you, other than passing talk. You're smart, you're together and the world is yours for the taking! You can make of it what you will - because you've been given all the right stuff to tackle it - head on. You have lacked nothing in your life. Other than validation of who fathered you - you're about to get that soon. If that should be me, I will welcome you into my home, the same as I would have, before hand. Nothing will change. You were welcome before, you'll be welcome after the fact. I am about to give you, all that I can... proof of origin. With that, I hope that you're happy. In the end Benjamin, fact will remain, that Jake is your father. He financially worked his ass off to provide for you. I will not take that away from my brother, whether you feel he was serious about it or not. That's where I stand. Either way, you're a goddamn McPherson, load the information you've collected into the chamber you need it - and get the fuck on with your life." Shawn turned away looking out of the window, he'd said it. Got it off of his chest. Having to say it to him however, pissed him off. He felt like going to Christine's and giving her a piece of his mind for what she'd done. Rail at her until she admitted what the hell she'd done to him, done to them all - that especially included Jake. While his brother was wrong for messing with her, she refused to accept her wrongs by denying it all, because of that, here they all were.
He sighed.
"Dammit, I didn't mean to come off like an ass-hole to you. This is not your fault. Shit!" Shawn ran his hand over his head, rustling the growing hair on top of his head. "Its just - not the right time for me. I have a lot going on, and - look; one day at a time okay? One day at a time." Shawn looked back at him trying to soften the blow of his words. He wasn't out to hurt him. He just wasn't sure how to handle it.
"I guess I haven't helped coming on the way I have. If all that you say is true, I guess I need to accept that its not your fault either." Benjamin was forced to admit.
"I'm telling you, the honest to God truth, I never knew. If I had, things would have turned out a hell of a lot differently. There would have been no way I would have denied you. I would have been in your life, full time and no other man would have had a greater hand in raising you than I. Saying that, is not to downplay Jake... it's just the truth."
They pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, parked and went in to get it done. Signing in, waiting and being called, and giving blood samples took all of thirty minutes. Walking back out to the car, Benjamin started out, "Thank you, for putting up with me, my ranting. Considering the stuff I've said to you, I haven't endeared myself to you."
"Don't worry about it. Let's put it behind us. You heading right back to Chicago?"
"Truth is, I'm going to be needing a place to stay. I'm moving out of my mother's house. She goes every Thursday afternoon with friends on outings... I'll be getting my things while she's out. I don't wanna see her. I don't wanna live there anymore."
Shawn's eyes coursed over him once more, didn't know what to say and asked instead, "Does she know that? That you're leaving?"
"She'll know when she gets home and finds my room cleared out. You don't know how many times I've asked her to tell me the truth. Once this test comes back, I'll know for sure."
"And if it comes back and Jake's your father? Then what?"
"Doesn't matter. I want out. Besides..." Benjamin paused as he started his car, then looked at Shawn before he shifted gears, "...look at us - do you - honestly think, that Jake is my father?"
"Benjamin... he's my brother. We have the same father, the same mother. Anything is possible. All we can do is wait on the test." Shawn replied and then giving thought to what he'd told him, asked, "If uh, you don't mind my asking, where are you planning to live?"
"Grandma Gert says there is plenty of room there. I'll be taking most of my stuff by there. Then the rest to Chicago, I'm hoping that my dad, Jake - will let me stay at his place. Chicago has better job opportunities for me."
Shawn had to bite his tongue really hard. He knew that there would be room in his new home once it was built, but he dare not jump the gun with that invitation just yet. Either way, Jake was his father, he would back off regardless of the outcome of the test. Like he said, Chicago held better job opportunities.
"I'm sure he won't mind, its not like he's going to be there all the time, rent won't be wast-..." He was cut off by his cell phone ringing. "...-hang on, let me answer this."
Benjamin nodded, backing out of the parking as Shawn checked who was calling him. It was Crystal... her name showed up on the screen.
Chapter 199
"What's up lil'mo?" He started right off with a smile, however the sound of her, melted it right off of his face.
"C-come - please - my head hurts... c-come get - get me." Her voice was more of a gasp, weak as if from pain.
"Crystal? What's wrong sweety? Where are you?" Shawn asked with his heart taking off.
"I - please..."
"Where are you sweetheart?! What's wrong? What's happened?!"
She was crying, a keening from her throat, she was barely able to speak. She could no longer see. Her head was pounding from crying so hard. She couldn't sit up in the front seat of her car to drive it home.
"Crystal! Baby where are you?!" Shawn was starting to panic.
"Ple-e-ease c-come - g-get m-me. I can't see - my head hurts."
"Okay sweety... I'll be right there, but I have to know where you are."
"The - the - the boys off - at - at d-day-c-care... the - the road... from day-c-care. Par-parked on the - the s-s-side." She was hiccuping, stammering and trying to stop crying, but the pain in her head made things worse. Her eyes felt swollen shut from her sobbing. Shawn had a good idea where she was, "I'm on my way sweety, okay? I'm on my way." He clicked off.
"What's going on?" Benjamin asked.
"I need you to take me to Crystal, she's somewhere along the road from the boys day care. Monroe st. I believe, hurry up!" Shawn directed him. Because they were already in Tomah, they were only a few minutes away from where she was possibly pulled over. Shawn had him go to the day-care and then took the main road from it that most used. Sure enough, her car was parked on the side, but they didn't see her. Benjamin pulled up to the curb on the opposite side of the street while Shawn jumped out, waiting for cars to pass he ran across the road to her car looking in. She was laying on the front seat, wouldn't move, couldn't sit up.
"Crystal!? What's wrong sweetheart?" He leaned in her window talking to her. She started crying again, and couldn't stop. He ran around to the other side, opened her passenger door, and knelt on the ground, stroking her hair back from her forehead, trying to see her face. She was sweating like crazy, hair damp, veins standing out on her forehead, she was red as could be. "Ah darlin' - what's wrong... what's happened? Please, talk to me."
She slowly shook her head, hurting too much to talk or lift it.
"What's wrong with her?" Benjamin asked from the opposite side, standing at the drivers side window having joined Shawn.
"I don't know." He answered Benjamin, and then to Crystal, "Honey, I'm gonna help you over to this side of the car so I can get in and drive it okay? But you're gonna have to si
t up."
"H-h-head hurts...h-h-head hurts." She forced out.
"I believe you pum'kin, but I have to drive the car home. Benjamin, open that door and shift her seat all the way back as far as it will go and I'll do the same on this side. Baby, hold your head, it may hurt a bit, but we have to shift the seat back so I can move you to this side."
Crystal held her head as they moved her bench seats back all the way. "Okay, pull your legs up and I'll slid you over. You're going to have to sit up a bit honey."
She did what she was told, and thought she would faint from her head pounding so harshly. She'd cried so long and hard, that her head felt as if it would explode. By the time they moved her over, she was sitting turned towards Shawn in the front seat. Her legs curled up, with her head on his shoulder, his arm around her. She held a Kleenex to her nose, having blown it until she felt dry, dehydrated from crying. Benjamin slammed the other door, and went back to his car, following Shawn as he drove her home.
"We'll be home in a minute, pum'kin. What's going on, can't you talk to me? You know you can talk to me lil'mo?"
She dare not speak, tell him, or she would start sobbing again and not stop, she wanted to stop. She wanted to be numb. She wanted to feel nothing. Her agony seemed ten times worse because she was blaming herself. She saw the ruination of her marriage as all her doing. She kept seeing Victor, remembering all the times when he tried so hard to reason with her, love her. She saw all the times when she lashed out, destroying what they had. She never loved anyone, the way she loved him. She hated herself right then for wrecking what they had. For some reason, she really believed, that once he heard she'd filed for divorce, he would come to her - demand that they find a way to work it out. He hadn't. He'd done just the opposite. There was no fight left in him for them, which meant he no longer loved her, having to face that, was more than Crystal could deal with, the anguish she was feeling was eating her alive, and all she could do was cry, because nothing she said or did, would undo this. It was finally, over. Having to face that was akin to standing before a speeding Mack truck, hitting her at full force, scattering her into quivering, traumatized pieces. She felt raw and on fire, feverish from the slashing whip of heartbreak.
By the time they got back to the house, Mundo was up and shocked to see Shawn carrying her into the house, going straight into Angela's room.
"What's wrong with Crystal!?" He asked in a panic. Benjamin had followed Shawn in, he had offered to carry her. Shawn had shaken his head and carefully lifted her out of the car, not willing to let anyone take care of her. To him, she was his responsibility, cradling her as he had Angela many times when she'd fallen, hurt and knew daddy would make it all better. Just as he was there for Mundo, he was even more so for Crystal. Little girls needed their father's - that to him, was what it meant to be a daddy of daughters. He felt even more compelled because Sylvia was not home. These were their children, his daughter, didn't matter how old she was, if she hurt, he needed to fix it and no one would care for her over him.
"Don't really know. She called Shawn while we were out, and we found her pulled over to the side of the road. Looks like she's been crying big-time ... don't know why." Benjamin explained, both of them in the doorway as Shawn took Crystal's shoes off and moved her over in the bed. He turned to Mundo, "Go in the basement, in my desk, right hand bottom drawer, there's a prescription bottle of Tylenol-codeine - bring'em and a glass of water." He'd had them since the attack on Sylvia, the hospital prescribing them to him for the pain in his arm. He hadn't taken all of them, in fact had only taken a couple, leaving many leftover.
Mundo shot off to get it quickly.
"I'm gonna give you something for the pain, that'll help you sleep, okay?"
"M-my b-boys... g-get m-my boys."
"Lil'mo you know they're taken care of. You're home - your Papah-Shawn is here to take care of everything, I want you to calm yourself down, relax, get some sleep, get rid of that headache." He talked to her softly, gently, sitting in the center of the bed, leaning towards her, brushing her bangs from her forehead, and gently kissed her there.
Benjamin knew he shouldn't have felt it, but did nonetheless - just a tiny seed of jealousy to see this man, who might be his father, being a doting father to someone else. Someone who was not even his flesh and blood child. He held no grudge against Crystal, in fact, he knew that whatever was going on with her, she'd needed him, and sure enough - he'd been there for her. Like a flash of light, he could instantly see all the times when he'd been growing up and needed him as well - but it was not to be. Those times, it had not been Quincy he wanted, nor Jake - but the other man, the one he'd always seen in the pictures, the one that all who taunted him said was his father - Shawn.
"Here you go Crys', here some water. How many dad?"
Another slam to Benjamin's chest... Mundo was calling him, "dad"? He backed out of the door while Shawn had him open them to give her two. They were a family. One that worked together as if it had always been so and he - was not included - did not fit in. He wanted to leave, he wanted to stay. He would wait to see what Shawn wanted after he left Crystal to rest. He didn't have long to wait, they came out of the bedroom, closing her inside.
"Will you get the boys?" Shawn asked Mundo.
"Hey, you know it! You ain' even got to ask that. They ain't due to be picked up 'til 1:30 no way." He stated, all three on their way to the basement, Benjamin followed behind listening as Mundo went on to say. "She ain't say nothin' 'bout what happened? Why she so upset."
"I'm willing to bet it has something to do with Victor." Shawn returned as all three entered his office. Shawn picked up the phone and dialed Victor's parents house, with Ben and Mundo watching him. It rang, he waited. Unfortunately Natalie answered, the last person he wanted to speak with.
"Prescott's."
"I need to speak with Victor." He stated, right to the point.
"Who am I speaking with?" Natalie asked.
"Shawn McPherson. Victor - please."
Natalie walked out of her kitchen to her back deck, sliding the glass door closed so that her voice wouldn't carry and wake her son. He was still sleeping hard, she wasn't about to let anyone get to him. She was busy planning her next move. She wasn't sure how she would do it, but some how, she had to keep anyone from getting to him until that divorce went through and was final.
"My son works third shift, he's sleeping right now."
"Has he spoken to Crystal this morning?" Shawn asked.
Dealing quickly, she responded, "It took me forever to calm him down! Do you know what she's done to him!?"
"Do you know what he's done to her!?"
"She filed for the divorce! Not him! He's fed up!"
"Is that from him, or you!?" Shawn demanded.
"Like any mother does, I only want what's best for my son! She's ruined his life! Were it not for her, he would be finished with college and a professional! If not, certainly on his way to one! He was a junior - with one year left! Just one year! Now - he might as well be a common blue collar worker! He was to be an engineer - where has that gone? Down the drain! He's trying to get his life in order!"
"I don't wanna hear all of that - it's all bullshit! He had a responsibility to the family that he started! He has two sons-..."
"She trapped him!"
"Lady this is year 2005! Women don't trap that way anymore - doesn't work!"
"Say what you will - we raised our son to be honorable, responsible - he tried to do the responsible thing, the right thing! He tried to be a husband to her, a father to their boys, and what did she do? Attack him! Humiliate him! Hit on him! Violence is all they know-..."
"Careful lady, I'm not your son, I won't stand for it! I don't wanna hear that, they, bullshit!" Shawn warned.
"Its the truth and you know it! They're all the same - all they-..."
"Natalie Prescott, I did not call to speak with you! I called to speak with Victor!"
"He has just gone to bed! Very upset about th
e divorce! He signed the papers that she sent him. He took them in, and has washed his hands of it all. It was a mistake. I knew it, he knew it, she knows it as well - or else, she would have never filed. It's done. He wants to move on, soon, she will be free to do the same. I have nothing else to say to you. He wishes nothing more, than time with his boys when off work. It can't be any simpler than that. Anything else?"
"You calloused, cold hearted treacherous bitch! This has broken - her heart! However since you lack one, you wouldn't know what the hell that feels like!"
"How dare you say that to me! She'll get over it! What about my son? What it's done to him? What about how he's suffered? Almost four long wasted years!"
"Yeah, suffered so in fact, that he went to bed with another woman!"
"Crystal made this bed - now - she can lie in it."
"You fuckin' piece of-..."
She hung up on him before he could say another word. Shawn's teeth were grinding in such anger he wanted to go by there and bury his fist in Victor's face and then his father's for having so little back-bone and passing it to his son. Helpless however, he shook his head and took a seat, taking several deep breaths to calm himself down. Angry because he had actually talked to Crystal about rushing things; tried to reason with her to wait for him, until he worked it out - You sonofabitch - I see you again! He steamed with the thought.
"Man I can't stand his mother." Mundo stated, knowing the outcome without having to ask who Shawn spoke with.
BOMAW 7-9 Page 99
