Crystal struggled not to look up into his eyes, even with her boots on, he still stood over her. His body firm, strong, solid and oh so sweet against hers. His hand was at her lower back, pulling her closer to him still, swaying her in perfect rhythm to the music, softly gently, a hypnosis so effective.
'Could I have this kiss for a lifetime - Could I look into your eyes - Could I have this night to share this night together - Could I hold you close beside me - Could I hold you for all time - Could I could I have this kiss forever - Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever'.
Benjamin called himself a thousand different kinds of fool for dancing with her to this song. His mind shouted, 'Don't do this Ben! She's married! She's in love with her husband! She's your father's step-daughter! She's family! She's been hurt! You've see her cry. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, she moves like warm mercury blown by a gentle current. Yeah, those eyes are the kind of eyes that reach deep and grip. Yeah, they do... they do... Godalmighty ... help me ... help me ... let her go.'
'Over and over I've dreamed of this night - Now you're here by my side - You are next to me - I want to hold you and touch you taste you - And make you want no one but me - I wish that this kiss could never end - Oh baby please...'
Crystal wanted to tear herself out of his arms and run for her life. Yet, the same time she wanted to run for her life, for the life of her, from this she could not run. She could not tear herself away. She kept telling herself, 'Stop now Crystal, just look up at him and shake your head and back away, you can do it. He would understand.' She looked up into his eyes and the words to this horrible cruel song locked her to him.
'Could I hold you for a lifetime - Could I look into your eyes - Could I have this night to share this night together - Could I hold you close beside me - Could I hold you for all time - Could I could I have this kiss forever - Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever'
Benjamin could see the look in her eyes, fear. She was afraid. He was afraid too. He'd never felt this way before. It was scary as hell. He could feel her body trying to draw away from him, he gripped a bit tighter, as if pleading her, not to go, don't shut down this wonderful new feeling coursing through his soul.
'I don't want any night to go by - Without you by my side - I just want all my days - Spent being next to you - Lived for just loving you - And baby, oh by the way...'
She pushed and stepped back. He let her go.
Just like that, they both felt it.
Felt the disconnection.
Like someone had hit the light switch plunging them into darkness.
It was like stepping out of a warm and cozy den into a blizzard.
Just like that... they both felt it.
In disbelief Crystal eyes stared up into his, "I have to go to the ladies room!" She blurted out, the loud music snatching her words from the air.
He understood and nodded. With the lift of his hand, he lead the way, showing her to it. He tried not to touch her, but his other hand went to her back and the sensation shot up his arm as if he'd touched a live wire. The spot where his hand rested on her back, radiated heat through her body. Crystal wanted to turn and ask him to kiss her. The song was still playing, and it begged that they kiss. She dare not turn and look at him or he would see it in her eyes, that she wanted to. But where would it lead? How far would it go? She was married. He had a girlfriend. Her name was Gail. Her husband's name was Victor. She had two beautiful little boys. Victor's boys. Yes, they were divorcing. But that hadn't been what she wanted. It was what he wanted. So if she wanted Victor, how in the hell was it, that she wanted ... Benjamin.
They made it to the long hall where the bathrooms were. She rushed away from him to the ladies room. Using all of the power within not to turn back and look at him. She hit the ladies room door, pushed it open and rushed to a stall with her heart racing. Her breathing deep. She turned and locked it, sat on the toilet. Both hands braced up on either sides of the stall. There she sat, and stared ... scared.
Benjamin leaned against the wall out in the hall waiting. He'd gone into the men's and had come out again with no sign of her. He hoped that she would not go back off into the club without him. Suddenly Mundo appeared going to the men's room as well.
"Hey, what's up?" He asked right away.
"Waiting on Crystal."
"Oh, cool. Hey uh, wha's up?"
"What'a'yah mean?" Benjamin asked with a lifted brow.
Mundo stood a moment staring at him and then came clean. "My sister been through a lot man. I ain' blind. You know what I mean now? Ya'll out on the dance floor. You ask me, that got pretty heavy. I'm not so sure she need that kind'ah pressure right now."
Benjamin sighed looking him straight in the eyes and truthfully admitted, "If you must know, its taken me by surprise as well. I have no ill intentions with her. I respect her, she's an incredible woman. Smart, direct, wonderful mother. I mean her no harm."
"Then what's going on?"
"I don't know to be honest. All I do know for a certainty is this, I would never hurt her. On that, you have my word."
"Its not that I don't trust you. Its just that, well - she's beautiful. I talk some shit I know, but she's something else. She my heart man, I'm telling you because I want you to know that. Yeah, she a grown woman, can pretty much take care o'self you know? But ah - she my blood thru and thru. She deserves to be happy, no matter what shit she may do, right or wrong, my sister deserve to be happy."
"What about the loser that broke her heart?"
"Ah man." Mundo shook his head and turned leaning against the wall beside Benjamin. "I don't know what's going on with that man. I always thought that he loved my sister."
"He doesn't deserve her! You know... I watched her tonight, dancing, so spirited, so free..." He shook his head seeing her again, " ... you know what, she reminded me of a wild racing filly. A magnificent thoroughbred, throwing her head and running full speed. All the muscles of her body bunching and working as she sprinted in joy. I could just imagine her the desire of any who can capture her. I think personally, Victor has caught a wild spirited filly, has tried to harness her energy. Has tried to, tame and ride her, only to be bucked off time after time. He can't handle her. Doesn't know how. So he, put her in a corral, wouldn't let her go, she's too beautiful, too magnificent. Then went off to ride another, one perhaps more docile and tame. Then comes back to look at the one corralled, wishing he could connect, but just can't. Know what I feel like?" He asked Mundo.
He shook his head listening.
"I feel like a cowboy who's heard stories of this magnificent filly. Upon seeing her, corralled, tossing her head, discontent I feel, I know what she needs. She doesn't need to be tamed and made to be docile, she needs ... to be set free."
"Maybe that's why he's letting her go through with the divorce. To set her free. Question is, if he is setting her free, you being the cowboy that you claim to be, what are you going to do? If you say she needs to be free, are you gonna let her, be free that is?"
Benjamin looked away thinking about it. Problem was, the same time he wanted her to be free, he wanted her to be free so she would run to him. He took a deep breath and looked back at Mundo, "I'll never hurt her. If he sets her free, I guess I'll be happy just to see her run, long as, its by me every now and then. Long as I know, she's happy."
"Em." Mundo murmured. Somehow, he didn't quite believe him. He saw them. Saw them clear as the sun when he was up on that platform. They'd been more in sync than she'd ever been with Victor. He'd seen her dance with Victor. While he could hold his own on the dance floor, he wasn't a real dancer. He danced because he knew that Crystal loved to dance, but he didn't mind avoiding it if he could. Mundo stood away from the wall, "Well man, all I got to say is, we supposed to be family. That means we take care of one another. That's what your dad, my dad wants from us. I had my say you know, all I ask, is that you guard her heart. She act tough, she can come off tough, but she still a woman, know what I'm saying."
&
nbsp; "You bet I do. We're on the same page, believe me. Not to change the subject, but you seen Marcus?"
"Man the last time I saw Marcus, he was all in some chicks face. Next time I look at our table, gone. How many clues you need to guess where?"
Benjamin sighed shaking his head.
"He better be showing up and quick."
"Well, I'mo run to the boys room, then I be back at the dj table if you wanna find me. Dude hooking me up with some Cali' info. He from there, where we going. Gotta pick his brain, know what I'm saying?"
"Definitely. When Crystal comes out, we may head off looking for Marcus, when we find him, we'll be ready to head out. I wanted to hit at least one more club before we call it a night."
"That's straight! Ah'ight! You know where to find me."
No sooner had he gone into the men's room when the ladies room door opened and Crystal walked out. Surprised to see him there waiting. She took a deep breath, trying to keep the control she gained, she smiled brightly, playing it off like nothing happened between them.
"You been waiting there all that time? I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be waiting."
"Of course I'm waiting. Doesn't matter how long it takes you, I'll wait."
Crystal felt her heart kick again, wondering did he mean it in the context it was said, or - did he mean it in some other way.
"Well, if I'd known, I would have hurried."
"No need to hurry, when you're ready, that's soon enough." He stood and smiled.
She felt all of her preparation to face him again, crumbling.
"Come on, looks like we're going to have to go on a Marcus hunt."
"Why? Has he disappeared?"
"No telling..." He was back to talking in her ear again since they were moving back towards the club, "... he wasn't in the men's room. Let's check by our table and then the bar, we'll look over the dance floor as well. If he's not there, we'll have to go and find him, I get a feeling I know where he is."
"Where?" She asked.
The face he made along with a slight blush was answer enough, making her chuckle. They checked their table, the bar, and stood gazing at the dancers on the dance floor. They gazed around at the upper levels carefully, still no spotting him. Benjamin looked at her and shook his head; with a toss of it, he indicated they better go looking for him elsewhere. They made their way to the exit of the club and then outside. The relief from the blasting music was wonderful.
"Oh yes! Not that I'm not enjoying myself, but the music can be pretty loud." Crystal commented the moment they were outside the club.
"I totally agree, well, I guess we better head this way, to the car, I get a feeling that's where we'll find him. As a precautionary measure, you might wanna let me approach it alone." He blushed.
"Hey, no argument from me there." She turned to walk with him towards the parking lot that was two blocks away from the club. She noted that he made sure she was on the inside between him and the buildings.
"Sometimes I swear, I could just choke him. Dj was always getting on him as well. We were supposed to stay together. The thing with this kind of situation, because we don't know where he is, something could be happening to him."
"That's true, you're right. You're very protective aren't you?"
"What can I say, I believe it to be the trait of anyone who really cares about their family. I bet you're just as protective."
Crystal nodded with a smile, strolling beside him, they didn't seem to be in a hurry. "I suppose I am, like you said, it comes naturally when you care."
"Yes, it does ... and uh ... I wanna - well, apologize for earlier." He started, looking directly at her.
"For earlier? What do you mean?" She asked.
"When we were dancing, that last song, I ah, probably shouldn't have - well, held you so close that way. If I offended you, I apologize."
"No..." She shook her head, a bit disappointed that he felt the need to apologize. "... it was just a dance, it meant nothing." She responded to fortify herself, hating that she was still wanting him, wanting that kiss.
"Yeah, sure ... just a dance." He returned feeling queasy from her words.
"I can tell you one thing, you can really move! I didn't expect you to have that ... wow." She complimented sincerely.
He grinned at her, "Would that, you speak of be, rhythm?"
Crystal chuckled, "Well yeah. Fact is, you have an incredibly high content of it. You were keeping up with me and that ain't always easy to do."
"For me it would be." 'Dammit Benjamin stop it! Stop saying shit like that! You're making an ass of yourself!' His mind berated harshly.
Crystal went quiet, looked away from him, gulped and tried again to put them on safe ground. "I wonder if the boys are okay? I feel bad leaving them after they'd had that late nap, they're probably keeping everyone up." She smiled looking back at him.
"I wish I'd known you first. He has your heart and the sonofabitch doesn't deserve it."
"Let's not go there please. As I explained, I did things that put us here. He's not the one to blame."
Benjamin wanted to kick himself for saying that. He was fighting with himself. Fighting a need, a need so strong to test what he was feeling. Just one test, a kiss, just one to see. "I think when we find Marcus, I'm gonna go back to the hotel. I shouldn't be out here, doing this."
"Why not? Why the hell not!? He cheated on you! He allowed the paperwork to go through, to hell with him!"
"I wish you wouldn't say that Benjamin."
"What would you do if I tried to kiss you right now?"
"Don't! Please ... don't. I wanna go back to the hotel. When we find Marcus, I just wanna go. Please, you have Gail, remember?"
Benjamin raked his hand through his hair, hating that he'd asked about the kiss. He wished he'd just done it. But he couldn't. She was not to be treated that way. He forced himself not to look at her, "Well let's hope we find him to get going." He stated walking on.
They finally reached the parking lot and started looking for the car. When they grew closer, they noted the windows were all steamed up and it was moving.
Crystal starting laughing and turned away, "Oh my goodness, no way!"
Ben shook his head, "Sonofabitch! He better be wearing a condom. And like we wanna get in there after that!"
Crystal pulled out her mobile phone and started dialling a number.
"Who are you calling?" He asked.
"A cab. As you said, like we wanna get in there after that, as for me... no way."
"I swear to god, I'm putting my size 12 up his rectum!"
"Well at least you know where he is, you don't have to go looking for him." The taxi service answered and she ordered a cab. "Mind walking me back to the club?" She asked.
"Don't ask ridiculous questions, you're too smart for that." He took her arm leading her back the way they came.
They covered half a block in silence and then finally Benjamin started again, "Crystal, can we ... at least be friends? The very best of friends? Please?"
"Of course, I'd like that."
"Which means, no matter what or why, you can always call on me, count on me. Always, I really want you to know that. To believe it."
"The same applies to you. If you ever need me, for anything, I'd be there for you, I mean it."
He nodded thinking. They were silent once more. Funny how they didn't need to speak to feel the presence of the other. At that point, they both thought it was best not to speak. Enough had been said, the limits had been tested ... sort of speak. They made it back to the club. Benjamin pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number as well.
Shawn just so happened to have his phone on him; he'd just clicked it off after speaking with Deidre, letting her know they were in Madison and would be taking their flight on time so far it seemed. They spoke briefly, he clicked the phone off on his way back to their rooms. Darren was out cold on his shoulder. His phone rang.
"Shawn!" He answered.
"Its me, Benjamin. Crystal's t
ired and wants to come back to the hotel now, her cab just pulled up. Its a yellow taxi, license plate number-..."
"Hang on..." Shawn paused him walking to the front desk in the lobby. "Can I have a paper and pencil please?" The receptionist smiled, nodded and handed him one, "Okay, fire away." He told Shawn the plate number and then leaned into the window and gave him the drivers description, name and drivers number.
Crystal sat in the back seat blown away. She couldn't believe them. He ended the call to Shawn and then pulled a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and give it to the driver, as well the hotel he was taking her to, making him aware that their father was waiting on her at the other end of the trip. The warning was clear.
The cab driver looked back at her, then at Benjamin, shook his head and with a sigh and thought, 'Who the hell is she?!'
"See you in the morning." He leaned in her window to say. She smiled at him and could only nod.
Benjamin backed away. The cab pulled away.
Both of them knew, they would never be the same again.
Chapter 220
Saturday evening...
Jake was coming in from the back porch after smoking a cigarette. He was wearing just a pair of jeans, no shirt, no socks, no shoes. He had his ash tray in his hand, intending to take it to the kitchen sink to wash it out. Vivian was standing there in her tiny blue jean shorts and spaghetti strap tank top. She was taking a Pamprin for cramping. "You okay?" He asked coming up behind her, an arm around her, talking over a shoulder, checking for the look on her face.
She nodded, quiet, leaning back against him because he was that close behind her. "Cramping?" He asked.
"Yeah, the first two days I cramp pretty hard." She returned.
"Does this help?" He asked picking up the box of over the counter medication.
"Sometimes, it dulls the pain at least."
"Want me to rub your back, would that help?" He asked softly.
She turned within the circle of his arms, leaning back against the sink to look up at him.
BOMAW 7-9 Page 140
