She put the notebook on the bed and fully laid on his chest. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me. All of this. The rules, the collar, us. I can’t live without you.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Good. Because you’re my everything. Always have been. Gonna love you forever.”
“Always.”
Sitting there together for a while, no words were needed.
Because together, they were whole.
Chapter Fourteen
Michael
On an evening a week later, he stood on the far side of the kitchen island when Tabitha came through the door leading in from the garage.
“Michael, are you home?” She must have already seen his car so she knew the answer, but he fucking loved the excitement lacing her voice.
“Maybe.”
He had a surprise for her he’d been working on for a few hours. He’d taken most of the day off without her knowing so he could make sure it was perfect before she got home. He had a years-in-the-making kind of surprise for her.
“You’re home before me. What’s the occasion?” She set her purse on the counter and took the pins out of her hair.
The brown locks tumbled down past her shoulders and he just stared at her.
Black skirt, purple shirt that highlighted every single one of her curves and black strappy high heels that made his cock kick behind his slacks.
“See something you like?” she asked as she came up beside the island.
He stepped in front of her, marveling at her beauty inside and out. “No. I see something I love.”
She tilted her head to the side and bit her lip. A definite sign she was right there with him in his appreciation of her sexiness.
She placed her palm on his stubbled cheek. “Mmm. Love your scruff.”
Brushing a hair from her cheek, he ran his thumb across her jaw. “I have a bit of a surprise for you.”
“What kind of a surprise?”
He took her hands and stepped backward, drawing her forward.
They went past the corner leading to the stairs and as soon as she glanced to the side she gasped.
“The romantic kind,” he answered.
Her shaky hand covered her mouth and emotion morphed her features, stripping away the mask she showed the world. It revealed the woman he was lucky enough to get to see. The woman beneath her business suits and take-no-shit attitude. The real woman beneath. His woman.
Slowly tugging her close, he moved her in front of him and faced her toward the stairs.
A few steps in front of them, on the side, sat a candle in a little votive on the hard wood floor at the bottom of the stairs. Beside it sat a red index card with something written on it in black marker.
Several steps up on the opposite side sat another candle and another card, but this one in orange.
Then a few more steps on the right another candle with a yellow card.
All the way up the stairs they went, and he knew she couldn’t see it yet, not until they reached their bedroom.
She took a deep breath. And another. “What do they say?”
He gently urged her forward to stand before the first one. “This one says, ‘I love the way your hair looks…wrapped around my fist’.”
“Oh, Michael.” She bent and picked up the red card. Running her fingers over the words, she just gazed at him. “How amazing,” she murmured. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. You collect my love notes and I’ll read them to you.”
Facing him, she stepped close and he wrapped his arms around her. Her words rumbled through him as she spoke. “You’ve only read one to me and my legs are already shaky.”
“No worries. I’ll be behind you the whole time. I’ll never let you fall.”
She held on tighter.
Never had he said anything in the past week that he meant more than that handful of words. He would never again let her fall. And she believed every word of his promise.
“This is going to wreck me, isn’t it?”
“If I’ve done my job right, it most certainly will.”
“Oh, lordy.”
He kissed the top of her head and breathed her in. Talk about my very own version of crack.
With another squeeze, she let go and turned around again. “It’s almost like a proposal, but we’re already married.”
Talk about being more right than she knew.
“Oh, my God, I love you so much.”
Leaning forward, she reached to pick up the next card and he read it over her shoulder.
“I love that you know I’m not perfect and you love me anyway.”
Turning around, she faced him. “I love you so much. Nobody’s perfect.”
“Not true.”
She looked at him and he shook his head.
“It’s simply not true. You’re perfect.”
Tabitha opened her mouth to say something and he laid a finger across it to stop her.
“Perfect for me. So perfect. Which is all that matters.” He leaned forward and kissed her mouth. Her hand on his cheek fired his blood as she licked across his lips.
His brain blinked out for a second as he got lost in her. “Next card, or I’m liable to lay you on the stairs and take you now.”
“That’s really not the best incentive to entice me to continue too quickly.” She bobbed her eyebrows at him but turned back around and moved up the stairs to pick up another card.
He followed and stood on the step below hers with his hands on the rails, blocking her in, keeping her safe.
Twisting around a bit, she held the card so he could see it. “The way you say my name when you come. So fucking hot.” The card didn’t say the last part, but it was so true.
The next card read, “And my purr. Fuck. My purr.” Yes. It did say all of that and it was underlined.
Up the stairs they went. Card after card of things he loved about her. Things he thought about all the time that he thought she needed to hear. Simple things, silly things, sexy things.
More than twenty cards were in her hands as she pushed open the door to their bedroom. A rainbow of love and lust and kink and gentleness.
A mere drop in the bucket of what she meant to him.
What he loved about her. Needed.
Only one more card remained and it was a whole sheet of paper sitting on the edge of the bed, but it covered something up.
Two somethings, actually.
Somethings he should have bought a long time ago.
Tabitha’s voice shook as she uttered the single word on the last piece of paper. “Mine.” She pulled away the paper and dropped all the cards at her feet.
Her gasp matched the one he’d gotten downstairs. She looked at him over her shoulder then back at the two open boxes sitting on the bed. “Michael?” Her voice shook more when she called his name.
“Yes, my love?”
“Are those what I think they are?”
“I’m not certain. What do you think they are?”
“Collars. I think they’re collars.”
“I totally dig smart chicks.”
She swallowed and opened and closed one of her hands. She reached for the larger box and he stopped her.
“Wait.”
Putting her hand down by her side, she turned to look at him.
“Before you open them, I want you naked.”
“Why is that?”
There were so many answers to that question. So many things he could respond with, and they were all true. But it all boiled down to one thought and he summed it up with three little words. He closed the distance between them and started unbuttoning her blouse from the top down. “Because…I love you. You’re exactly what that piece of paper says you are. Mine. And I don’t want anything else touching you when I put them on you. I don’t want to share any piece of this with something else. Mine.”
She stared up at him.
Before long she stood naked in f
ront of him.
“Fuck, Tabby. Hottest wife ever.”
“I love it when you say that.”
“Good thing. ‘Cause I’m gonna say it for the rest of your life.” He tugged her over to the edge of the bed and picked up the first box. “This is your play collar. The one you’ll wear to bed. The one you’ll wear to play. With me or any others.”
The thin collar sat nestled on a bed of purple satin. Black leather, three-quarters of an inch thick, was highlighted with silver accents and a ring right in front.
She ran her fingers across the leather. “It has cat whiskers stamped all the way around.”
“Yes, it does. I had it made just for you.”
Which he had. Nearly a week before he’d had it commissioned to his exact specifications, and he’d picked it up that morning on the way to work. And now he needed it on her.
“And the other one?” she asked.
He picked up the other box. “Your day collar. The one you’ll wear the rest of the time.” It was more of a necklace. A simple silver chain with a pendant on the bottom of it. On the front, it had two interlocking hearts. On the back, an inscription. One word, but it meant everything.
“Owned,” she whispered.
“For the rest of forever.” He waited for her to look up at him. “Will you wear my collars? Give yourself to me in every way? For love and sex and safety and everything these collars mean to us?”
Her eyes met his, blazing with love and devotion. “Nothing would make me happier, my husband.”
“And I’d like something special tonight. Just for tonight.”
“Anything.”
“I’d like you to wear them both. When I take you tonight, make love to you, I want to see them both and know that this is the first night of the rest of our lives as you being completely mine.”
She answered, but not with words.
She purred.
He shook his head. “Luckiest man ever.” He set the boxes on the bed and took her hand.
“Do you want me on my knees so you can put them on me?”
“On your knees. On the bed. You on the floor beneath me does nothing for me. It actually makes me want to punch something. You are not less than me. You’ve never been less than me. You’ll never be less than me. Quite the opposite. Understand?”
Tabitha bit her lip and smiled. With a nod, she crawled on the bed, but with her back to him.
“Face me, beautiful.”
After twisting around, she settled on her heels and looked up at him.
“I want to see your eyes when I put my collar on you for the first time. And know before I do it, it’s the last time I’ll ever see you without it.”
“Oh, fuck,” she cursed. “I’m going to wear your collar.”
“For the rest of your life. Are you ready to make that kind of commitment to me?”
“More than anything.” She smiled from ear to ear and clasped her hands in her lap. “More than anything.”
Her excitement, her happiness. It fed his soul.
He lifted her day collar out of the box first and clasped it behind her neck. Then her play collar, her real collar. Unfastening it, he took his time so he could remember everything. The way her skin flushed as he wrapped it around her throat. The shade of her eyes as she closed them. The feel of her breath through his shirt as he leaned close to fully collar her for the first time. She wasn’t fully collared until he’d put them both on her. The one she shared with the world, hiding their dynamic in plain sight. And the one only a select few were privileged enough to see her wear.
Everything faded away but her.
The world disappeared all around them as he claimed her for the first time.
He’d been doing just that for years, and he hadn’t thought the collar would be that different. Hadn’t thought it could feel so significant, since his ring was on her finger every day.
But it did. It was. The connection was deeper. Stronger.
He took half a step back to stare at his wife. His property.
Fuck.
His property.
Her gaze lifted and something had changed. Her demeanor was different. Serious. Intense.
“I, umm…have something for you, too.”
Well that sure stopped him in his tracks. “You do?”
She nodded. No flirty smile, no laughter or witty banter. Whatever she had for him meant something. If her face was any indication, it meant a whole lot of something.
“And I want to talk about altering one of our rules.”
“Which rule?”
Rubbing her lips together, it looked as if she fought a battle to keep her emotions in check. “Number six. No running.”
It took him a few seconds and all he could get out was one word. “Okay.” He wanted to say something else, but his heart was kicking so hard in his chest it made it hard to breathe.
Up on her knees, she held on to his forearms and stepped down off the bed.
She opened one of her drawers on their dresser and dug to the bottom, beneath her clothes.
He couldn’t see what it was until she turned around.
She held a spiral notebook.
One he’d never seen before.
Standing before him, wearing his collars, she handed him the bound set of pages.
On the cover were purple and green flowers that made him think of their garden out back.
Nerves actually twisted his stomach as he flipped open the front cover, because he had no idea what he was going to find.
What he found was the last thing he expected. “It’s empty.”
She chewed on her lip and nodded several times. “But I’d like to write in it.” She glanced up at him and a tear slipped free.
His heart squeezed in his chest. He flipped the cover closed again and thumbed the wetness from her cheek. “What are you going to write in there, my love?”
“I’m going to write…to you.”
Overwhelmed by the need to be close to her, he handed her back the notebook, picked her up and settled them in the chair by the window with her in his lap. “To me?”
She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and he held her close. Clutching the journal to her chest, she nodded. “Like how I used to text you to tell you things. When things got hard.”
He got the impression she needed to hide a bit, so instead of forcing her to look at him, he simply petted her back and waited.
“Something I realized last week is I don’t want to run anymore. No. That’s wrong.”
Fear gripped him and it took all the self-control he had to not push her into saying more. Taking it back.
“I still want to run, and I wonder if I’ll ever get over it. Running away from things makes me feel safe. I’ve tried changing that, tried ignoring it, tried telling myself I didn’t need it, but I just do.”
He held his breath and closed his eyes, uncertain how this could possibly come back full circle to making them whole again.
She shifted on his lap.
He lifted his eyelids, afraid she would be moving off his lap, away from him. Separating herself from him again.
Her…alone.
But she didn’t.
She lifted her head and her eyes were the most brilliant brown he’d ever seen. Staring at him, she paused, sucking her lips into her mouth as if she was trying to hold herself together.
Clearly overcome with emotion, she swallowed several times and breathed slowly and steadily. She sniffed and tears spilled over her lashes, but something was different. The raw emotion coming from inside her wasn’t filtered.
She let it out, let it free. For the first time in their entire marriage she didn’t hide it from him.
Her breathing hitched as more tears fell. “I still want to run, but I just want to change my destination.”
“Where, baby? Where do you want to run to?” Hope filled him as she let him in. The words. He wanted the words.
“To you,” she choked out. “I want to run to you from no
w on. You’re my safe place. Right here. In your lap, in your arms. I have never felt as safe as I do when we’re together and you surround me with your strength. Your calm.”
“Fuck, baby.” He held her cheeks, unable to stay separate from her pain, from her joy, any longer. He kissed her tears away. Licked them. Consumed them. “Just fuck.” Kissing her lips, he poured his love into the connection. His humble thankfulness. His hope. “Nothing would make me happier than to be where you run to. Nothing would make me happier than to be your everything. Because you’re mine.” He kissed her again. Tasting her. Loving her.
Trailing a hand down her cheek, he then skimmed his knuckles along the pulse point on the side of her throat. The ring at the front of her collar was the perfect size as he slid a finger through it.
“Owned,” she whispered. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip.
“Forever and always. You’re mine to protect. Mine to keep safe. I will never forget what a gift you’ve given me. Five years ago, when you said ‘I do’ and today on your knees in front of me.”
“I didn’t kn-n-now,” Tabitha stuttered, with a shake of her head as she fought to speak.
“Never knew what, baby?” Searching her eyes, he wondered again how he’d gotten so lucky. So blessed.
“What forever looked like. Then you walked into my life. I was so lost from that very first moment.”
“As was I. But I found you. Didn’t even know I was searching for you, but I always thought something was missing. Something was off. Until you, my beautiful wife. You’re what I needed to be me. To be whole for the first time in my entire life. I’ll never take you for granted again. On my honor as a man, and your husband, and your best friend. Being your safe place will be the greatest honor of my life. But I have a question.” He slid the pad of his finger along the metal of the ring as he let it go.
Her dewy gaze flipped up to his. “Anything.”
“How does the journal tie into you running to me? How does it fit into what you need? And what do you want to change about the rule?”
Glancing down at the green and purple flowers on the cover, she brushed her fingers across the surface as more emotion spilled out of her. “I know you want me to talk about things. To use my words to tell you I’m scared or lonely or that I simply need you. But that’s hard for me sometimes. Sometimes the thought of actually saying certain things, even though I know I need to…it’s physically painful. The instantaneous panic is so hard to control. So, I thought maybe I could write them down. Like I used to text you. Then leave it for you somewhere we agree on. This way, I’m still telling you what I need to, but I can think about what I want to say first.” She sniffed again and brushed away more tears. “Not get flustered in the process and lose my train of thought.”
Our Rules Page 19
