“My age?”
“Aye.” He chuckled and realized training Erin would be quite simple. Challenge her. “You’re verra old to be taking your first flight. ’Twill be interesting to see if you can even manage it.”
Rònan didn’t banter with her any further but flapped his wings and took off, hopeful she would be aggravated enough to follow. He counted the long seconds as he lifted up over the loch and refused to look back.
Please let her follow me. Please let her be able to do it.
Because of his superior hearing, Tait and Bjorn’s words met his ears from the shore.
“It was unwise of him to taunt her like that,” Tait said. “Foolish Highlander.”
“I agree,” Bjorn said. “I do not envy his position.”
For Bjorn to say as much spoke to Rònan. Gods above, he had done this all wrong. Erin was unable to take flight and remained flapping around on shore hating him. He should have been more patient. He should have remembered that she had no idea what she was doing and had trusted him to teach her.
Mortified, Rònan banked a left to turn back only to have his wing clipped hard as Erin sailed by him, fury in her searing purple eyes. Confused and surprised, he watched as she dipped down, body wobbly before she leveled out and shifted her wing so that she flew back in the opposite direction.
Bloody hell. Her Viking posse wasn’t worried about her but him!
Erin flew back to the shore and though her landing wasn’t particularly graceful, she did it. Then she tucked her wings by her side in what was clearly a posture of unhappy defiance. Bjorn and Tait lowered their heads to honor her before they made quick work of leaving her be.
Obviously in a state, Erin proceeded to tromp into the forest, her newfound wings scraping the limbs and bending the trees before the air shimmered and her dragon vanished. Rònan shifted when he landed and ran after her. As he knew would likely happen, she had made it to the small glen he always loved as a bairn. By the time he got there she’d fallen to her knees and her head was bent.
“Erin?” He raced to her. “Are you well, lass?”
Her eyes met his, the last of her dragon fading away. She shook her head and managed a few whispered words before she passed out.
“Why did I ever think you might be the guy for me?”
Chapter Seventeen
THERE WAS NO sweeter bliss than feeling her new body for the first time except the way she felt when she looked into his eyes. Emerald eyes that stayed with her the whole time. A green dragon that towered over her and kept her safe…until he shunned her.
Though Erin jolted awake, it took more effort than she expected to sit up. She felt like she had boulders attached to her limbs. Confused, she tried not to panic as her vision blurred.
“’Tis all right, lass,” Rònan said softly. “Your vision is but readjusting to being human again.”
“Enough with the vision issues,” she croaked and wiped her hands over her eyes. “They’re getting old.”
“Aye,” he murmured.
Erin blinked a few times and acclimated to her surroundings. They sat in a small clearing surrounded by trees. Salt drifted on the wind so she knew she was still near the loch. As she became more and more aware, she recalled standing on the shore with Rònan. Of him pulling her close. Such lust.
Then her vision went red.
After that, things were fuzzy but sharp at the same time. There was pain…at first. Then a sense of freedom she had never felt. Something new…different…better. Wings. Erin looked from arm to arm. Not wings but definitely arms. She had little time to process that before flashes of another dragon again arose. A green one far larger than her, arrogant and defiant in its strength.
His strength.
When her eyes met Rònan’s, everything flooded back. How his dragon taunted her and said she was too old to get the hang of flying. How demeaning he was. How demeaning he had to be to get her where she needed to be.
“Did you really?” she whispered.
She felt all the insecurities flickering through his mind. The same ones he’d had as they walked the shore to get here. How worried he was that he wouldn’t be able to teach her. Then she heard all his deepest thoughts. How he felt like an ass. And how he wished he could turn back time and handle it differently. But there was another emotion. One she appreciated more than all the others.
One, thank God, he showed her when he spoke.
An emotion that made no apologies for his behavior.
Eyes firm, voice just soft enough, he took her hand and nodded. “Aye, lass, I did everything you remember when in dragon form.” He clenched his jaw, banking all the apologies he wanted to offer and looked at her with the sort of hard admiration shared amongst fellow soldiers. The sort of look she worked hard to win from men in the military. “And never have I been prouder than I was of you today. You are not only a strong warrior but a fierce dragon.”
She almost said, “Damn straight,” but realized only two words suited the moment. “Thank you.”
Flashes continued to flicker through her mind of flying, of the defiance she felt toward him that made her spread her wings for the first time and flap. After that, it was pure, unbelievable euphoria. Sure, she shot after him, whacked at his wing, then everything went downhill but still…she flew!
She did it.
She faced her worst fear, more so her worst nightmare. Not many could say that. Flopping back on the grass, she stared at the moon barely visible through the thick foliage and felt like she had climbed the tallest mountain. Between learning the truth about her past and embracing her dragon, she felt free in a whole new way.
Rònan lay down beside her and stared at the moon as well. Like her, he was releasing a whole lot of tension. Though her dragon might have been furious at him, her human half was touched by how hard he had tried. How much he cared. She’d never met another man like him.
As if he read her mind because he likely had, he said, “Have there been that many then?”
“That many what?”
“Men in your life that you can compare me to.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “Likely not close to the number of women you’ve had.”
“Och. I suppose I deserve that,” he said. “Why not so many men for you then? ‘Tis surprising with your beauty.”
“Not that I think I’m all that, but people can be considered attractive and not be inclined to sleep around,” she enlightened.
“Mayhap,” he agreed, a grin in his voice. “’Tis hard to imagine, though.”
She liked that he didn’t look at her and make this a mushy moment. That alone made her answer readily. “I worried that I might hurt them like I did my dad.”
A short silence stretched before Rònan murmured, “You worried about killing them with fire.”
Erin bit back emotion. “Yeah.”
“’Tis why you dinnae like being touched,” he said. “’Tis also why you didnae pursue anything beyond sex.”
She really did love this guy…and how blatant he could be.
“I never knew for sure if I killed my dad so yeah, I kept things brief enough to get the job done but even then there was always a level of stress involved. That’s why I sleep with clothes on to this day. Just a habit formed of wanting to try to cuddle a little afterward but realizing I might need to get out of there fast. I realized that even that amount of intimacy could get me in trouble,” she said.
Erin couldn’t help but sigh before she continued. “After a while, I decided it wasn’t worth the risk. I suppose I don’t like being touched now because I’ve had so little physical contact. Most would probably crave it more but I guess I trained my brain to work in the opposite way. A defense mechanism of sorts.”
A small silence passed as he considered her words. As always, she could hear most of his thoughts. How sad he was that she’d grown uncomfortable with physical touch. How she had sacrificed sex. More than that, how proud he was of her that she put other people’s safety before her own
needs. And for a man like Rònan, sex was right there at the top of what was most needed in life.
Then there was another thought he tried to repress. How she would never have to worry about something like that if she stayed with him. And he was more than willing to make up for all the lost intimacy she had suffered.
“This is why you’re not on birth control,” he murmured.
Erin nodded, not all that surprised he knew what that was considering Nicole’s untimely pregnancy. “I got off it when I decided to give up sex altogether.” She cast him a sidelong glance. “While you were down and out at the Viking fortress, Megan filled me in on how dragons can control getting pregnant so I figured sex was safe enough with you.”
“Aye,” he murmured, but she sensed an odd shift to his tone before he changed the subject altogether.
“You are verra proud of your time in the military,” he said, voice gentle as his eyes stayed trained on the moon. “What of your promise to your Da? What of you pursuing singing?”
Her breath caught and she shook her head.
Rònan’s hand slipped into hers but he kept his eyes averted. “You dinnae need to answer, lass. I was just curious.”
And she wasn’t going to…at first. It was none of his business. But flashes of his dragon spreading his wings and daring her to fly arose. He was determined that she fly and let go.
In more ways than one.
Though she meant to keep her mouth shut, it didn’t work. “I did sing,” she said. “Before I entered the military.”
“And what happened?” he whispered into her mind.
“I failed,” she whispered back. When a strange sort of fear filled her, Erin realized she was worried by how he might respond.
“How so?” He kept speaking within her mind, a place he knew she had become more and more comfortable with…maybe preferred?
“My voice started to crack.”
Though he nearly said her voice would sound angelic even with cracks, he knew she would not want to hear that. “So you gave up singing.”
“Yes,” she whispered aloud, eyes moist. “But I had a few good years in the clubs first. Never made it big but got real close.” Erin ran a finger down her throat. “The doctors never knew what it was exactly, just that shit was going downhill and losing my voice altogether was inevitable. They suggested I consider making a career change.”
“And your change was the military,” he murmured.
“Heck yeah,” she said. “I needed a place that…”
When she trailed off, emotional, he said, “A place to find renewed strength. A new start.”
“Yes,” she said into his mind and looked at him. “A new start.”
His thoughts swirled with hers. He understood that because he had felt it for the first time when she came into his life. The need for a new start. Except in his case, it didn’t mean giving up a dream. No, for him it meant growing up.
Rònan sighed and again stared at the sky, voice whisper soft. “You might be half my size in dragon form but you are easily twice my size where it matters most, lass.”
Touched, she squeezed his hand. “You might be bigger than you think, Rònan. Much bigger.”
“Mayhap I’m heading in that direction.” He propped up on his elbow and his eyes met hers. “But ‘tis solely because I met you.”
“I think we’ve been good for each other,” she acknowledged.
Her heart began to thud a little heavier as she became overly aware of both the smoldering look in his eyes and their nudity. Yet there was something else now. Something new. When she embraced her dragon, she took on a deeper understanding not only of herself but him. How well-matched they really were. Not because they were half dragon but because of the way their souls somehow fit together…complimented one another.
When had she ever thought about souls?
“When you traveled through time with Cullen, it had an effect on you,” Rònan murmured. “You experienced something divine, something that made you see far clearer. Who you really are beneath your physical form.”
A shiver rippled through her followed by a flash of heat when his hand brushed her cheek, brogue thicker than ever. “And though I didnae experience the divine as well, ye should know that I feel the same way, lass.” He trailed his finger down the side of her neck. “I’ve never met another who better suits me than ye. ‘Tis not just the lust but something far deeper…better.” There was a whole new look in his eyes when he whispered, “Something I dinnae want to lose.”
She was so used to keeping men at arm’s length that it was on the tip of her tongue to say what she always said. What she had been convinced of up until a few days ago. No, I can’t. I won’t. Now she wondered…could she? Would she? Being with a man like him was risky. “You’re not the settling type, Rònan. I know you think you are right now but our situation has been extreme since we met. Ever hear the saying, relationships that start under duress never last?”
His finger stilled on the outer edge of her collarbone and his eyes searched hers. “Then explain how every Broun, MacLomain connection up until now has lasted. Every one of them began under duress.”
“But I doubt most of the men were as promiscuous as you.”
Rònan snorted. “’Tis well known that Bradon MacLomain had a way with lasses and enjoyed them fully before he met Leslie.”
“But then Bradon ended up in the twenty-first century with far less temptation around him on a daily basis,” she pointed out.
Rònan frowned. “Are you implying that my uncle would have been unfaithful had he and Leslie stayed here?”
Erin flinched. It had sort of sounded that way. But then she had a history she supposed she ought to share. “All right, I wasn’t entirely truthful.” She sighed and fiddled with a blade of grass. “Though I was super nervous about it, I tried at a relationship once in my late teens. He was in my band and persistent…and I thought maybe, just maybe…”
“What happened?” Rònan said. “Did you set him on fire?”
“No, thankfully, though at the time I thought he deserved…” She shook her head. “Never mind. He might’ve said he wanted to get serious but it turned out all he wanted to do was get in my pants. Shortly after he accomplished that, he cheated on me. After that, I figured I better stick to plan A and keep things brief with guys. No heart involved and hopefully no threat of flames.”
Rònan eyed her with a new level of understanding before he spoke.
“I know ‘tis hard for you to believe given your past but I wouldnae hurt you like that, Erin. Every lass I’ve been with were well aware I didnae want more than sex. I never once deceived any of them and gave hope where there was none.” Rònan tilted her chin until her eyes were with his. “This that I feel for you is different. ‘Tis unlike anything I’ve felt before. ‘Tis frightening but addictive. You’re all I can think about. Not only the man within wants you to stay with me always but the dragon.” He stroked the pad of his thumb over her cheek. “I love you, lass.”
Erin tried to speak but couldn’t. He meant every word.
But love didn’t prevent cheating…did it?
Following her every thought, he said, “Though I swear I would never be unfaithful, there is a way for you to be sure. Something I want so much ‘tis making my bloody heart ache.”
Erin frowned, confused and caught by the intensity in his eyes and voice. Her heart started to pound and her throat grew dry. Still, she managed to whisper, “And what’s that?”
“Marriage can bind us and what I want but ‘tis not nearly as strong a connection as my other desire.” He kept stroking her cheek. “I want you as my dragon mate, lass. ‘Tis as eternal as the ring you wear but more so. Neither of us would ever desire another. Dragons mate for life and ‘tis a verra strong bond.”
Oh, shit. Yet…
“That sounds intense,” she said softly. “Maybe too much so.”
“’Tis intense.” He shifted closer. “You should not agree unless you’re sure you w
ant the same.”
Erin inhaled deeply. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t grown to like you a lot but love…” She shook her head. “Love scares me.”
“Because you loved your Da and he died,” he murmured. “Did you love this man who cheated on you?”
“Honestly? I have no idea. I felt strongly but I was young,” she said. “Looking back, I’m pretty sure what I felt was anything but love. Maybe just a need to have someone close to me again. I was pretty lonely.”
“You wouldnae be lonely here,” he murmured, his body against hers now. “You would have my family and me. Your friends.” He cupped the side of her neck. “You can come to my castle or Castles Hamilton or MacLomain and start a new life. I dinnae want you to be with me unless you feel as I do.” His lips were close now. “Though ‘twould be hard to see you with another, I care for you so deeply that I only want the best for you. Whatever makes you happiest.”
“Hell,” she whispered, touched by his words. Again, he meant every last one. “You've gotta understand that I’m just not there yet. I haven’t known you that long.” She swallowed. “But out of curiosity, how exactly do dragons become mates?” Her brows shot up as something occurred to her. “Do they have to have sex in dragon form?”
“Nay.” A small, interested smile came to his lips. “Though I can only imagine what that might be like.” His hand drifted down to her waist and wrapped around half of it. “It can be done when in human form. From what I’ve heard, it takes place during sex and is nothing more than one dragon claiming their partner as their mate and the other agreeing.”
“Claiming?” She quirked the corner of her lips. “That sounds pretty primitive. So what, do you say ‘I claim you’ or something?”
When Rònan ran his weapon-roughened fingers along her hipbone, thinking became more and more difficult. The conversation might be heavy, but they were both aroused as hell. “I dinnae think words are involved. All I know is that the feeling must be mutual. It must be as true as the heart and as powerful as the soul for the dragon bond to form.”
Oath of a Scottish Warrior Page 25
