The Single Undead Moms Club

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The Single Undead Moms Club Page 7

by Molly Harper


  “I’ll go get Nurse Anne,” he called over his shoulder, jogging into the school building.

  “Oh, careful, hon,” Casey said, turning my hands over. “You’ve got some pretty good scrapes on your hands. Let’s get you to the nurse’s office, and she can clean those . . .” We watched as the wounds on my palms closed on their own. The bits of gravel skittered across the pavement as the healing flesh pushed the rocks out of my skin. “Up.” I watched the color drain from my friend’s face as she backed away from me.

  “Casey . . .” I began.

  “Don’t.” Casey held up her cross necklace as if that would ward me off. (It wouldn’t.) “I knew you seemed too healthy. You moved too fast. You were too pret— I knew something was wrong.”

  “There’s nothing wrong,” I told her.

  “Oh, sure, nothing’s wrong,” she scoffed. Her head snapped toward Mr. Walsh, who was following Ashlynne and Candace into the school.

  “Casey,” I said, with a little more warning in my tone than was probably wise.

  “I don’t know anyone who is a vampire,” she said. “And I don’t want to know you.”

  And with that, I watched as the closest thing I had to a friend climbed into her car and drove away.

  4

  Your relationships with other members of your family will change, just as the rest of your life has changed. And if you thought those relatives questioned your parenting decisions before, just wait until they find out you’re a vampire.

  —My Mommy Has Fangs: A Guide to Post-Vampiric Parenting

  I knew it was only a matter of time before Les or Marge showed up at my door. Casey was a serious gossip.

  I’d expected to have more than forty minutes, though.

  When Mr. Walsh emerged from the building with Nurse Anne, enormous first-aid kit in hand, I’d had to explain that the emergency medical care wasn’t necessary as I’d done my healing all by myself. There was no time like the present, I supposed, to update them on my new condition. Mr. Walsh spent a grand total of two seconds looking vaguely uncomfortable with the idea of a vampire parent before clearing his throat and handling the situation with his usual aplomb. He assured me that this wouldn’t change my son’s educational experience at the school and said to come to him if I had any problems. He’d even understood when I’d requested that he not release Danny to his grandparents. He’d dealt with much more complicated custody situations than mine, though in most of his cases, the parties involved had pulses. And while Nurse Anne remained silent, as I was leaving, she slipped a card into my hand detailing the meeting schedule for the Newly Emerged Vampires Support Group.

  Still, I’d barely had time to get Danny showered and in bed before I heard a truck screeching through the cornfield and onto my driveway. I sighed, plucking Danny’s dirty clothes from the floor and switching on his Captain America night-light before I closed his bedroom door. I walked down the hallway, listening to the slap of Marge’s house shoes against the concrete walkway. For a short woman, she was moving at a pretty good clip.

  Dear Lord, I prayed, please grant me the grace to explain this situation to my mother-in-law without permanently damaging our relationship. And if that’s not possible, please keep me from ripping her throat out, because that’s the sort of thing that will go on my undead permanent record.

  Before Marge could pound on my door and wake my son, I pulled it open, startling her out of her furious posture for a second and making her step back. Marge was wearing one of her old cotton summer nightgowns. Her carefully dyed dark brown hair was up in pink sponge curlers, a nighttime ritual she still kept up, even with the invention of much more convenient hairstyling tools. I doubted she could get to sleep without the tight sensation against her scalp.

  Les was standing near the truck, practically vibrating with rage. But he was silent, unable to do anything but stand there, glowering at me.

  I opened the door just enough to stretch my arm across it, barring Marge from barging in. “Hi, Marge. I wasn’t expecting you. Everything OK?”

  There was always the off chance that my in-laws were mad at me for non-vampire-related reasons.

  “What have you done?” Marge shrieked, a pink roller dangling near her ear.

  OK, maybe not. I sighed. “I got better.”

  “Don’t you play flippant with me, Libby Stratton! You got yourself tangled up with some vampire, and he gave you his disease.”

  And while she was sort of right on some counts, I couldn’t help but be a little hurt that she was implying that I’d picked up an STD from an ill-advised hookup. Honestly, where was my vampire Yoda when I needed her? What would Jane do?

  “How could you do that?” Marge continued without waiting for an answer. “Was it an accident? Were you attacked?”

  “I didn’t go looking for a good time, Marge,” I said as calmly as I could. “And I wasn’t attacked. I made this choice so I could see Danny grow up. I knew you would try to talk me out of it, so I didn’t say anything to you.”

  “You’re damn right I would have tried to talk you out of it!” she yelled. My eyes went wide. In the eight years I’d known my mother-in-law, she’d never cussed once. “I cannot believe you could do something so stupid and selfish. There’s no going back from this, do you understand? You can’t take it back. How are you going to take care of him? How are you going to be a mother when you can’t even wake up during the day? What if he gets hurt and starts bleeding? Will you be able to control yourself?”

  It hurt to hear my mother-in-law voice all the fears I’d had tumbling in my own head since I rose. I couldn’t blame her for feeling this way. If I were in the same position, I might react the same way. And if I’d felt any sort of hungry twinge for Danny’s blood, I would have packed his bags and sent him on to her house. But I hadn’t. Danny was safe with me. And her fears were something she was going to have to work through if she wanted to spend time with her grandson. I wasn’t going anywhere.

  Just then, Jane rolled up the driveway in her SUV and screeched to a halt next to Les’s truck. I saw Les’s hand start toward his cab, but as Jane hopped out, she warned him, “Whatever you’re thinking about grabbing, don’t.”

  In a flash, Jane was at my side, blocking the door. “Mr. and Mrs. Stratton, I’m Jane Jameson-Nightengale with the local Council office. I understand that you’re upset right now,” she said in a tone so smooth and even her little spiel had to have been thoroughly rehearsed. “Finding out that your loved one has made the transition to vampire can be a very confusing and upsetting time, but the important thing to remember is that Libby is still the same person you’ve always known. She just has a few new interesting skills. We have several chapters of the FFOTU meeting locally that could help you cope with the changes within your family. I have a brochure here that lists all of the meeting dates and locations.” Jane whipped out a slick brochure featuring the triangular logo of the Friends and Family of the Undead.

  Marge stepped back as if Jane had offered her a dead rodent. “I have no interest in spending more time with your kind. I know what happens at those meetings. A bunch of people sitting around lying to themselves about not being upset at what their family has turned into.” She snorted. “And as for her being the same person? The girl who married my son wouldn’t have done this to herself. She’s obviously lost her mind.”

  “Well, I can see that the gentle, political approach isn’t going to work,” Jane muttered. “OK, look, I understand that you’re worried about your grandson, but I’ve stayed with Libby for the last few days, and she hasn’t made one move toward Danny with blood on her mind. The thought of hurting him makes her physically ill. You will not find a more devoted parent than your daughter-in-law. Look at what she went through to stay with her son.”

  “Well, you’ll pardon me if I don’t take your word for it that Danny’s safe. I’m not going to leave my grandchild alone with someone who drinks blood for food. We tried to be patient with you while you were sick, Libby, but all you�
�ve done is prove that you’re not a good influence on our grandson. He’s going to go home where he’s safe. I simply can’t trust you with him.”

  I chose not to address the fact that she called her house Danny’s “home,” because there simply weren’t enough hours in the evening to unravel that particular rat’s nest of dysfunction. So I kept it simple. “You will not take my son from me,” I told her. “Cancer didn’t take him from me. I sure as hell won’t let you do it.”

  “Well, if you think we’re going to stand for this, you’re even crazier than you let on!’ ” Marge barked, starting toward the door as if she could push past both of us. Jane very gently caught her arm and pushed her back. Marge’s dangling curler bounced loose and skittered across the porch into my azaleas.

  “You don’t have a choice. I’m his mother. I have custody,” I told her. “I’m more than willing to let you visit Danny anytime you want. I don’t want him to lose his relationship with you. But if you try to take him from me, all bets are off.”

  “I’m not going to let you decide when I see my own grandson,” Marge spat. “We’re taking you to court. We’re going to sue you for full custody.”

  “And she will have the full backing of the Council’s legal department,” Jane said, sighing. “You should know that unless you can prove that Libby represents a danger to Danny, you will have difficulty taking custody from her.”

  “Do you honestly think that a judge in Half-Moon Hollow will give Danny to her instead of us?” Marge demanded. “You must not be from around here, young lady.”

  “Yes. In fact, there have been several cases in this district of responsible undead biological parents retaining custody over living relatives who filed without reasons beyond ‘I don’t want my kinfolk living with vampires.’ ” Jane drawled that last bit in an accent so insulting it couldn’t possibly be seen as an endorsement of Marge’s position. “And for the record, I grew up in this town. I’m Sherry Jameson’s daughter.” She turned to me. “How is it possible that your in-laws are the only people in town who don’t know me?”

  I shrugged.

  “Well, then, shame on you for helping her get involved in this mess!” Marge shouted.

  “Calm down,” I whispered fiercely. “You’re going to wake up Danny!”

  Les moved toward his wife before I could, speaking for the first time since they’d arrived. His voice was so tense and quiet I was afraid his vocal cords would snap. He tugged her arm gently, pulling her toward the truck. “Come on, Marge.”

  “This isn’t over!” Marge cried as Les loaded her into the passenger seat.

  Les didn’t even look at me as he climbed behind the steering wheel and spun out of the driveway.

  “Well.” Jane sighed, watching their taillights disappearing into the distance. “It looks like you’re going to need that rental a little sooner than you thought.”

  I nodded, wondering how Danny was going to handle the separation from his grandparents and moving right before the beginning of the school year. His first day of school was Tuesday. (Starting midweek was a lovely quirk of the Kentucky school system.) It seemed very unfair of me to be forcing so many changes on him in such a short period of time. I hoped all those comforting platitudes I’d heard about the resiliency of children were true.

  “Lucky for you, the Council happens to know of a recently vacated unit that already has all of the required vampire conveniences. It’s located closer to Danny’s school and has a registered nurse living in the unit next door, should Danny have any medical emergencies.”

  “That . . . sounds pretty perfect,” I said, lifting a brow. “What’s the catch?”

  “You will be under close Council surveillance . . . and Dick will be your landlord. But on the upside, moving is much easier when you have superstrength.”

  “I can live with that,” I told her. “And I’ve been packing for weeks.”

  I was nearly moved into the Victorian-turned-duplex five days later when my in-laws served me with a very official-looking eviction notice. Kaylee was wringing her hands at the stove when I rose for the night. The white envelope lay on the table with a red “OFFICIAL NOTICE” stamp blaring under the kitchen lights.

  It was funny that my brain didn’t immediately hop onto “past due bill” when I saw the red stamp. My second night as a vampire, I’d opened my online banking profile and found that it showed a significantly higher balance than I’d expected before I went underground (so to speak). I’d set up all my bills to pay automatically out of the account while I was “out.” And while my utilities were all paid up, the considerable insurance money I’d promised my sire in exchange for turning me was still there. The check I’d written for “cash” had not been cashed.

  What the hell did that mean? Who turns someone just for fun?

  In other developments, the move was coming together more quickly than we’d expected. The new apartment needed very few repairs after the departure of the last tenant, a conscientious vampire who’d given up his lease to move closer to his girlfriend’s college campus.

  This was the first home I’d have that was my own. I paid the rent. I controlled the décor. Unless Dick suddenly decided to turn the place into a bed-and-breakfast, we weren’t going to be kicked out. There was a tremendous freedom in that.

  So much more about my life had changed, beyond my pulse and my diet. I had friends. I had people I could trust with my feelings. I didn’t have to put on a brave front or pretend not to be hurt or upset when the occasion called for it.

  Danny was upstairs, sorting his toys into “keep,” “store,” and “donate” boxes. I was fortunate that he seemed to view the move as an adventure, particularly when I described the old restored house with its turret bedrooms and time-worn wooden stairs. He’d always wanted a house where he could slide down the stairs on his butt. It was a dream come true for him.

  Beyond the fact that it was necessary, I hoped the move would be good for my son. Sure, he would start school the day after we moved into the new place, but living in the more rural “farming district” of the Hollow, Danny didn’t have any nearby friends his age. Living closer to the school, he had a better chance of developing playmates. He’d asked several questions about his grandparents and how they felt about the move, but I’d been able to distract him with promises of painting his room whatever color he wanted and spending time with “Mr. Dick.”

  The good news was that the move and keeping up with my contracted bookkeeping work kept me distracted from any weird bloodthirst issues I might be having. Being a vampire mom wasn’t that different from being a human mom—it was all about multitasking.

  But as I made my way into the kitchen for my evening cup of blood, it seemed that Kaylee didn’t share my semioptimistic view on life. She was slumped over my stove, stirring a pot of spaghetti and wheatballs while she gnawed on her bottom lip. With Kaylee, I knew that this news could be anything from the death of a grandparent to the cancellation of her favorite teen demon-hunter show. I hoped she was just worried about getting into trouble for accepting the eviction notice.

  I opened the official envelope and scanned its contents. It was nothing unexpected. I was being notified of my “breach” as a tenant. Since Rob and I had never actually signed a lease or paid rent, I could only assume that my “breach” involved my not breathing anymore. I had thirty days to contest or vacate the premises, something I wasn’t all that concerned about since I would be ready to move within the next twenty-four hours. I supposed this was the first volley in Les and Marge’s suit for custody: prove that I couldn’t provide a stable home for Danny on my own. I couldn’t help but be somehow proud that I’d anticipated this.

  “It’s OK, Kaylee, really.” I sighed, downing my breakfast. “I was expecting this.”

  “You were expecting my mama to say I can’t babysit for you anymore, Miss Libby?”

  “No,” I said, pursing my lips. “I was referring to the eviction notice.”

  “That’s what that
is?” she cried. “Well, that’s not right. I told my mama, I don’t care if you’re a vampire, you’re a good person. Personally, I think it’s kind of cool. You look better. You feel better. And you’ve never hurt me. I don’t figure you’re going to start now. But Miss Marge’s been calling around, telling people that you’ve gone crazy and started biting people. I tried to tell my mama that just wasn’t true, but she said she didn’t feel safe with me taking care of Danny anymore. I’m really sorry. I talked her into one more night, but I told her it was because you had to go out and buy Danny’s school supplies. She wants me home by nine.”

  I tamped down the panic welling in my chest. The next day was Danny’s last official day of summer vacation, and he was going to wake up without supervision, in a house where I was technically dead down the hall. There was no way that could go wrong.

  Danny ran into the kitchen and threw himself at my side. Because my feet were planted, he bounced off my hip like a rubber ball. I shot my hands out at vampire speed and caught him by the elbows before his head could smack against the corner of the countertop. His eyes went wide with shock as I lowered him gently into a kitchen chair.

  “You OK, sweetie?”

  “Wow, Mom, you moved quick,” he whispered.

  I gave an uncomfortable, clipped laugh. “Yeah, well . . . Mom’s been taking her vitamins every morning.”

  “Like the orange ones that get stuck in my teeth?” he asked with a grimace.

  “Yep, and if you want to be super-fast, you better take them, too.”

  Danny had on his skeptical face, which made it a perfect time to change the subject from my unprecedented catlike reflexes.

  “So why did you come barreling into the kitchen like a cannonball whose mother never taught him good manners or common sense?” I asked.

  He had the good grace to look sheepish for a grand total of three seconds. “OK, so, when you buy my new backpack, make sure it’s not a baby backpack. No puppies or construction trucks or anything like that. Transformers or Avengers, and if they don’t have those, maybe The LEGO Movie. But that’s it.” Danny tugged on my T-shirt until I dropped to his eye level. “That’s it, Mom.”

 

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