Chapter Five
Jessica rolled onto her side, her arm sliding across the expansive mattress beside her, searching for the warmth of Sed’s body. When her fingers found only cool sheets, she lifted her head, gaze landing on the red numbers of the digital clock. Five twenty-six?
She rubbed her eyes and sat up, thinking Sed might have gotten out of bed to use the bathroom or get a drink of water, but no lights were on. Had she missed his waking with his habitual nightmare? That sound of fear he always made just before he shot up beside her had never failed to rouse her before.
The patio doors that led outside were wide open, so maybe he was outside. But he was supposed to be taking this time off his insane touring schedule to get some rest. She was determined to spoil him all week, and in her mind that included them both sleeping until noon. And that meant that they had more than six more hours to snooze.
Jessica stumbled from the bed, shivering as the cool air from outside blew against her naked skin, and wrapped the sheet around her body. Tucking in one corner of her cover at chest level, she walked out onto the small patio outside the bedroom and looked for signs of her overworked husband, hoping he hadn’t been out there half the night thinking about his dad or worrying about the guys or the European tour. Sed was always so busy taking care of everyone else, it was as if he didn’t know how to take care of himself. So that would have to be her job now—taking care of him. Even if he didn’t yet feel that he could confide all his worries to her.
She didn’t see him at first. The sun had yet to break the dawn, and the moon and stars were concealed by a blanket of clouds. A shadow moved on the far deck that overlooked the beach and the endless ocean. Sed, naked, gazing out across the water, his hands wrapped around the railing. He didn’t move as she stepped off the patio and hurried across the lawn. The dewy grass felt wet and cold against her bare feet. She was pretty sure that he didn’t hear her approach, even though the strong onshore breeze flapped the sheet against her legs.
She stopped just behind him, watching him for a moment. He was definitely off in another world, but it was too dark to see his features clearly.
“We were supposed to go sailing tomorrow,” he said unexpectedly. “Before I left for Europe. I promised I’d take him sailing.”
“Sailing? With who?”
“Dad,” he said breathlessly.
Her heart twisted, as if the hitch in Sed’s voice had reached directly into her chest. Sed’s father hadn’t been gone for long, and the pain Sed had felt at Phil’s passing was still harsh and raw, and even though Jessica hadn’t had time to get close to her father-in-law, she felt his absence because it affected Sed so deeply.
“You were?” She closed the distance between them and pressed the side of her head against his upper arm. His skin was like ice. How long had he been standing out there? “You never mentioned—”
“Because with everything going on with the wedding and the tour, I’d forgotten.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s what kind of son I’d become. One too busy to remember promises I made to my dad at Christmas. One too self-absorbed to even spend the holidays with him. I missed his last Christmas, Jess.”
“You had no way of knowing it would be his last.” She knew her words wouldn’t make him feel better.
Sed caught her hand, his grip tight. “I bought him a nice sailboat for his birthday several years ago to replace the rust bucket we sailed when I was young.”
“How come I didn’t know you were a sailor?” Seemed like something he would talk about.
“Because I haven’t gone for ages. Dad and I went out in the new boat a few times before things got crazy with the band, and every time I talked to him, he’d ask when we were going sailing again. So I promised we’d take a trip while I was home last Christmas, but with the canceled and rescheduled shows, I had to put him off again. Then I promised him we’d go between our US and European tour dates, and I completely forgot about it until tonight when I dreamt of him asking about our trip.”
“Another bad dream?” She rubbed his back, wondering why he’d been so reluctant to tell her he was dreaming about disappointing his dad.
“No, this wasn’t a nightmare. It was a good dream. Dad was happy. He wanted me to go sailing without him. So I left him on the shore and watched him get smaller and smaller as I sailed away. He never stopped smiling.”
Not his usual nightmare, then, but definitely a sad dream.
“Maybe you should go. Use the time to say goodbye. Honor the happy memories you have of sailing together.”
“Maybe.” He released a deep breath and turned his attention toward the sea again. Jessica snuggled closer to his side, hoping to share some body heat. At least she had a sheet to block the cool predawn breeze. Sed was entirely nude.
Jessica doubted she could say anything to make him feel better but hoped being with him provided the support he needed.
“You should go back to bed,” he said after a long moment of silence.
“Only if you come with me.” She squeezed his hand. She would hold him, watch over him as he slept, if he’d let her.
“When I told him you proposed to me on a sailboat in San Francisco Bay, he said, ‘You’ll go sailing with her, but not with me.’ He wasn’t getting on my case.” Sed chuckled softly. “He’d rather have sailed with you too.”
She seriously doubted that, but she smiled at the happiness in Sed’s tone. Sed hadn’t been able to talk about his dad with anything but anguish since Phil had unexpectedly passed away.
“Do you know how to sail?” she asked.
“I took a few lessons. And Dad was always trying to teach me better technique, because sailing was his favorite pastime. He was far better at it than I was.”
“It sounds fun.”
“It’s very relaxing,” he said. “Well, once you get on course and the wind is filling the sails it’s relaxing. Until then, it’s a fair bit of work.”
Relaxing? Yes, Sed needed to relax. He worked hard, always giving his best. Jessica had hoped staying at the beach house would provide him an oasis of peace until they had to return to real life, but if he was up before the sun and staring out at the blackened ocean, he was obviously in turmoil.
“I’d like to go,” she said, though honestly she couldn’t imagine that being out in the endless ocean in a little boat would be relaxing—chartering a boat in a bay, now that was completely different. But she’d be alone with Sed. Truly alone out on the water. And nothing could make her happier.
“Or would sailing on your dad’s boat be too hard for you?” She squeezed his hand, promising not to push. Whatever Sed decided, she’d stand by his decision. She figured taking the boat out might make him feel less guilty about missing his sailing adventure with his dad, but it might have the opposite effect. Everyone grieved differently.
“I’m not sure.” He stood unmoving for a moment and then laughed. “Dad would have loved for you to go sailing with us. He tried to get Mom to go for years, but she’s afraid of the water.”
“I’m not afraid.” A touch nervous, perhaps, but not afraid. With Sed beside her, she wasn’t afraid of anything.
He shifted her in front of him and pressed up against her back. He kissed her ear, his breath teasing the tendrils of hair at her temple. “We’ll have to go someday.”
“How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow? But it’s our honeymoon. Your mom rented this great place.”
Which still baffled Jessica. She should probably call her and thank her for her generosity. The place was perfectly romantic and secluded without being isolated.
“It will be here when we get back. We’ll take a day trip. Where’s the boat docked?”
“Long Beach.”
A mere twenty miles away; that was totally doable. She said, “We could sail out to the barrier islands, Catalina or one of the other Channel Islands. I’ve always wanted to see them.”
He leaned against her. “That could be fun.”
�
��And romantic. We can pack a lunch and you can show me how to sail. You can also keep your promise to your dad.”
“But he won’t be there.”
“Yeah, he will. Not in body but in spirit.”
His arms tightened around her waist, and he pressed the side of his face against her head. “I love you, Jessica Chase.”
“Lionheart,” she reminded him.
“Jessica Lionheart.” His hands slid down to her lower belly, cradling the life they’d created together. “You’re the love of my life, the mother of my children.”
“Child,” she corrected, sliding her hands over his.
“Could be twins,” he said. “Or triplets.”
“That kind of talk will earn you years of celibacy,” she said, but she’d love to have Sed’s twins. Maybe even his triplets. She frowned when she remembered she had only two hands and did require occasional sleep. Not triplets, then.
“One baby is a good start,” he said.
“So are we going? Sailing, I mean?” she asked, turning her head to try to see him. The sky was starting to lighten on the opposite side of the house. Soon the sun would greet the day.
“If you really want to.”
“I do,” she said.
“I remember you saying that same line a few days ago,” he murmured.
“I did. And I meant it then too.”
He spun her around to face him. She laughed dizzily but was soon sighing as he kissed her until the sun turned the sky pink.
Chapter Six
Sed carried the heavy cooler that Jessica had packed for their boat trip. If the voyage had been with his father, the cooler would have been full of beer with maybe a pack of bologna and another of cheese tucked into a corner, but Jessica had decided she should learn to cook for the sake of their future children, and so for practice she’d made something special. He loved her even though she was truly dreadful in the kitchen. He honestly didn’t mind takeout. But he vowed that at lunchtime, when they cracked the cooler of stuff posing as food, he’d eat—without complaint—the strange-smelling concoction she’d whipped up that morning. She’d worked hard to create something both healthy and tasty. He’d never let her know that he doubted her final product was either.
Jessica, who was carrying a light bag containing a change of clothes for each of them, stopped short when he turned down the pier where the Sea Lion-with-a-heart-symbol was docked.
“That’s what we’re going out on?” she asked. “Are you serious? It’s huge!”
Well, it had been a gift—a guilt gift. Sed would never give his father some tiny dinghy or a leaky rowboat. “Yes, that’s her. The Sea Lion.” He made quotes with his fingers and added, “Heart.”
She rolled her eyes. “You named the boat after yourself?”
“Not Sed Lionheart. Sea Lion, and the heart is just a symbol.”
She snorted at him. “Sea, Sed. That distinction is pretty small.”
“Don’t blame me. My dad named her.”
Jessica stared up at the mast. Then she tipped her head back and stared some more. The mast was so tall that on a foggy day, the top sometimes disappeared into the mist. But today was darkly overcast. It seemed that the storm clouds that had made their beach wedding wet, windy, and a little wild were back for an encore.
“Are you sure you can handle sailing her on your own?” she asked. “I won’t be much help. I have no idea what to do.”
Was he sure he could handle a thirty-five-foot sailboat on his own? No. Not really. His father was the accomplished sailor. Sed was mediocre at best, but his ego wouldn’t let him say that. “Piece of cake.”
He beamed with pride when she didn’t question him and entrusted him with her safety by approaching the boat. She examined the deck, walked forward to the bow and gave it a hard stare before retracing her steps toward the stern. “Where’s the gangplank?” she asked. “There’s supposed to be a gangplank, isn’t there?”
“Don’t need one.”
By the look she gave him, she begged to differ. He reached over the open gap between the pier and the boat to set the cooler on the deck before placing Jess’s bag on board as well.
“Are you going to toss me aboard?” she asked.
“Not exactly. Grab here,” he said, indicating a somewhat stable cable, “and put your foot there and pull yourself up.” He pointed to the edge of the boat’s gleaming white deck. “Once you have both feet on the deck, then step over the lifeline.”
“I think I’m going to need more than a lifeline to save me,” she said, but she followed his directions.
“The boat might tip toward you a little. That’s normal.”
In case she lost her balance, he stood behind her while she climbed up, but she executed the maneuver with no problem. The boat hardly shifted at all under her weight.
“I hope I don’t get seasick,” she said. “I just got over my morning sickness.”
“Just puke over the side,” he teased. “The fish love it.”
“Ew.”
“Coming aboard. Hold on; it’ll tip more when I climb on.”
“Because you’re all big and muscular and gorgeous.” She fanned her face, her jade-green eyes bright with mischief.
“If gorgeousness caused the boat to tip, the thing would have capsized the second you touched it.”
She shook her head, but her soft smile told him she liked the compliment. And he liked reminding her how special she was.
Sed hoisted himself onto the boat and tried to remember every piece of advice his father had ever given him about sailing. He figured going out on the water might make him sad, but he felt like he belonged there with Jessica at his side. Of course, he might feel differently once they were out at sea and raising the sails. The boat had been equipped with all the extra accessories that made it possible for a lone sailor to sail on his own, but he didn’t particularly want that responsibility. His dad had sailed the Sea Lion♥ by himself countless times, so Sed was sure he could figure it out, because he had to.
“Do you want me to teach you to sail?” he asked. “Or are you just along for the ride?”
“I want to learn, obviously.”
“You are kind of a nerd. How long did you go to school again?”
“Too long.” She laughed. “But I already miss it.”
They hadn’t talked much about how they’d handle his worldwide band tours, her fledgling law career, and the arrival of their new baby. He hoped she’d decide to stay home full-time and build their family rather than spending all her time lawyering, but he wasn’t sure housewifery would be enough for her. He wanted Jessica to be happy, content and fulfilled. So whatever she decided, he would support her, and they’d make their lives together work. At least she’d decided to follow him to Europe this summer. He wasn’t sure he could survive even a few days without her, much less months.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asked.
Had he been staring? “Because you’re beautiful.”
“You should try looking a little less worried if you want me to take your flattery seriously.”
“I’m not worried.” He lifted the cooler and shuffled toward the cockpit, and then stepped down into the salon area below deck. It was a bit stuffy in the cabin, but once he got the engine going, they could turn on the ventilation system and air out the place.
“Wow,” Jessica said behind him. “You could live on this thing if you wanted to. This is really nice.”
He showed her the galley, which carried a few necessities in the cupboards but wasn’t stocked for long journeys and certainly not for long-term occupancy. He pointed out the head—which she gratefully used, though she was leery of the weird hoses that served the toilet.
Sed then led her to the back of the boat. “Two bedrooms.” One was the size of a closet, but the other was spacious and comfortable and had a queen-size bed at its center. The red coverlet was tucked in at the corners with military precision.
“Plenty of room for honeymoon
ing,” she said with a naughty grin.
“I don’t think my dad ever slept in that bed. Mom would have freaked out if he stayed on the boat overnight.”
“Then it needs a little breaking in.”
“Later,” he promised. “Let’s get out on the water first.”
“It is pretty hot in here.” She fanned her flushed face with one hand.
“Maybe it’s the company you keep.”
She poked him in the ribs, but said, “You’re probably right. You’d better get above deck before you set the place on fire.”
Fire was every sailor’s worst nightmare, with tidal waves a close second. Or was it lightning? Icebergs? Perhaps this sea voyage wasn’t the best idea. It could put Jessica and the baby in danger. Just like his harebrained idea to take her on a hot-air balloon ride for their honeymoon dinner had threatened her safety.
“Jess, maybe we should forget this trip and go back to the house where it’s safe. The ocean can be brutal.”
Her face twitched as she fought a grimace. He knew she thought that he needed this trip to find peace with his father’s passing, but if something bad happened to her or the baby on the boat, he’d never forgive himself.
“No way,” she said. “We’re not avoiding amazing adventures out of fear. Carpe diem, my love.” She hurried above deck, and he heard her sigh in relief. “Come out here. This breeze feels wonderful.”
She was wonderful. And brave. And smart. And adventurous—both in the sack and out of it. How had he gotten lucky enough that this remarkable woman had become his partner in life and in love and in amazing adventures? The breeze did feel wonderful after the stifling cabin interior, but not as wonderful as she felt against him. He couldn’t keep his hands off her.
Once he started explaining the mechanics of the boat and how she could assist him, his confidence grew. The sailboat was a work of modern ingenuity. Sed had spared no expense when he’d bought the boat for his dad. Everything was controlled from the cockpit with electric winches, mechanical devices, and foolproof gadgets. They didn’t have to hoist sails and tie knots and jibe. They just had to push buttons, turn knobs, and enjoy themselves. The damned thing even had autopilot and an advanced navigation system.
Lost in Paradise: A Sinners on Tour Honeymoon Page 4
