“What?”
“It took me a little while to sort it out from the snippets of information I gathered from Autumn over several days. I think she heard Roxy and that man having sex. Rough, loud, sex. Imagine a little girl hearing those kinds of sounds. Not loving gasps and sighs, but flesh slapping, dirty talk, and a lot of moans and gasps and you’re three and locked in the dark with people you don’t know and all you want is your mommy.”
“Holy Christ,” Brody swore.
“No matter what, we have to protect Autumn from her. Under no circumstances can Roxy ever be left alone with her.”
“You’d actually let Roxy see her?”
“I might not have a choice. She’s Autumn’s mother.”
“You’re her mother. Roxy was just an incubator. I swear to you, Rain, I’ll never let her take Autumn from us again. I’ll do whatever I have to, to make sure that never happens.”
“Sign over guardianship to me. It’s the only way I’ll have any say in what happens to her.”
“Marry me,” he countered. “Then you’ll be her stepmother legally. You can adopt her.”
“Seriously, Brody. Just like that, standing in the dark, no flowers, candles, dinner, you on bended knee with a ring. Nothing. Just forgive and forget and be my wife for Autumn’s sake.”
“I’ll give you all of that and more if you say yes.” He would, too. He’d give her anything. Still, he knew she wouldn’t. Not now. Not yet. “And it’s not for Autumn’s sake alone. It’s for mine.”
“Wow. Lucky me,” she quipped.
“Tell me what you want, Rain.”
“I want the girls to be happy and healthy the rest of their lives. I want a normal life. I don’t want to have to worry about money,” she said, then held up the check he’d given her earlier. “Check,” she said, signing it in the air. “One item down.”
Brody wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close. With his other hand, he brushed the wisps of hair from her cheek. “Tell me what you want from me.”
“I want what anybody wants, what you want. To feel safe and loved. To know nothing can ever come between us again. I want to trust you and know that when I have my back turned you won’t jab a knife between my shoulders and into my heart.”
“Brutal, honey.”
“Then you have some idea of how I felt when you left me.”
“You know how I felt being away from you,” he countered. Taking her hand, he not so gracefully kneeled down in front of her on one knee.
“Brody . . .”
“I got it,” he said, wincing in pain. “Will you do me the honor of coming inside and having dinner with me?”
“There’s a bed in there,” she teased.
“I know,” he said with a small groan. “I’ll behave myself and work on rebuilding the trust I shattered.”
“All right, dinner.” She smiled down at him.
“Mind helping me up?” he asked, only half kidding.
“Oh, Brody.” She made a grab for him as he stood. His forehead hit her chin, cracking her teeth together, making her let go and fall back. He grabbed her as they both stood and pulled her to his chest, their eyes locked.
“Man, that hurt.” Her hands gripped his biceps as she worked her jaw to ease the sting. Unable to help himself, he leaned down and kissed the side of her face, planting soft kisses along her jaw to her chin, then moving up and taking her already open mouth in a deep, sensuous kiss. Her grip on his arms grew tight and she drew him in with a tentative slide of her tongue over his. She opened to him and pressed her body down the length of his.
He wanted to devour, to take everything she offered and more. That’s why he gently brushed his lips over her parted ones, taking in the breath that escaped her lips in a soft sigh before he let her go and put her away from him. His whole body screamed in agony from the separation, but he owed her a lot more than one long talk and taking her to bed without any of the trappings that went into a relationship. He’d cheated her out of so much. He couldn’t bring himself to give into what he wanted without thinking first of the things she’d asked from him. Trust. Feeling safe and loved. Knowing he’d never pull her close, only to turn away from her again.
“Come up to the house. Talk to me about our girls.”
“Will you tell me about . . . everything?”
“Everything?”
“What your life has been like these last years. Where you went, the things you’ve seen and done.”
“I don’t think you want to know the things I’ve done,” he said, thinking of everything he could tell her but would only hurt her more. She knew about the other women. He wished she didn’t. Then, there were the things he’d done in the military in the name of freedom and democracy. There were a lot of good things he’d done, he guessed.
“Can’t you tell me a story without starting with ‘. . . There was this blonde . . .’” she said with half a smile.
He couldn’t help himself, he laughed. It was an old joke between him and Owen going back to the early days in high school when they’d tried to one up each other with the girls. Rain had been just his friend back then, and whatever trouble he and Owen stirred up, the story always started with “. . . There was this girl . . .”
Teasing, he said, “Actually, she’s a brunette.” The softness in her eyes told him she knew he was talking about her. It seemed everything meaningful in his life started with her.
Chapter Seventeen
* * *
BRODY WALKED RAIN up to the cabin, her hand safely tucked in his. By silent agreement, they didn’t speak, but let the words they’d already exchanged settle. Lord knew Brody needed time to let the anger simmering in his gut fade. He’d thank God every second of every day Rain had gone to such lengths to keep his daughter safe, unharmed by the woman who’d carried her for nine months and given birth to her.
He didn’t know how any woman could carry a life inside of them, give birth to that child, and toss it away without a single thought, except to how much money she could get for her. Every dime left to Rain by her family members. The money she needed to raise his children.
“Nice floor.”
Rain’s voice pulled him out of his dark thoughts. He squeezed her hand and glanced at the foundation and subfloor the contractor finished and now had to rework with his new floor plan.
“You like it? It’ll be a little cold in the winter, but hey, you can’t beat the view.” His gaze rose to the brilliant stars and surrounding trees and mountains.
“Planning on sleeping alfresco?”
“I want to sleep wherever you’re sleeping.” She glanced up at him through her lashes. Just to rile her, he added, “Well, not really sleeping. A whole lot of loving.”
“You think so.”
“God, I hope so.” He helped her up onto the subfloor, pulled her to the center and into his arms. He held her close and started with a step to the left, a step toward her, and then a step to the side with his left. She followed, matching him easily as they danced under the stars to the sound of crickets chirping and the occasional fish jumping in the lake. For several long minutes, they danced around the wide open floor, until he steered her back to the center and just swayed softly.
She felt so good pressed against him. The citrus scent of her hair surrounded him, drew him in. He raised his hands to her face, cupped and tilted her chin so she was looking up at him. He brushed a soft kiss on her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheek, along her jaw. His lips pressed to her soft skin. When he reached the corner of her mouth, she sighed. The whisper of breath fanned his cheek and warmed his heart. She still loved him, responded to his touch. She gave him everything she had.
Her lips parted, and God, how he wanted to press his lips to hers and slide his tongue deep into her mouth. Taste all her secrets, erase every bad memory with something good and sweet and sultry. If he took her mouth now, he’d drag her to the floor and bury himself deep inside her. Hard and throbbing, in painful agony, the ache still nothin
g compared to the hurt in his heart, knowing she didn’t trust him and wasn’t ready to be his wife.
Leaving her sweet mouth, he kissed his way to her ear. “You are so beautiful.” His hands left her face, mapped her neck and skimmed down over her chest to the swell of her breasts. She sucked in a quick breath when he slid his hands over the two rounded, soft mounds to her ribs. His thumbs traced the underside of her breasts back and forth while she settled into his touch, got used to the feel of his hands on her body again.
Her head fell back, eyes closed; he kissed the column of her throat, the sweet spot near her shoulder. “You smell the same. Something sweet and flowery, like a meadow in spring.” He cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushed over her taut nipples. She squeaked and her breath hitched. When he tugged gently with her nipples caught between his index and middle finger, she sighed his name. That was just the beginning of what he wanted. Her soft moans and his name on her lips as he touched her, ignited a spark of what they’d shared before. “I carried your scent with me everywhere I went. In the desert when it was hot,” he said against her throat, “I’d think of you, suck in a ragged breath and smell you. I’d be so hard, I’d ache to be inside you again, my hands on your skin, your breath on my face, our hearts pressed together and me driving into you until you called my name.”
“Brody,” she called breathlessly.
He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up off her feet. The entire length of her body pressed against his, her toes scraping against his shins. He buried his face in her neck and held her tight with her arms locked around his neck and her face pressed against the side of his head.
“I’ve missed you so damn much,” he confessed. “There were days I thought I’d never breathe again without you. In my happiest, normal, saddest, darkest moments, I held on to your memory. You were with me every second of every day. God, how I begged for you at times. Just to hear your voice, see you smile, smell your skin, feel your body pressed to mine. Anything. Everything. I needed you so damn much. You were the keeper of my heart and without you, I wasn’t whole. This. Right now. I feel whole.”
Her arms wrapped around him tighter and he held her close, his face buried in her mass of brown hair. “I’m here, Brody. Right where I belong. I swear, I’ll never let you go again.”
Just those simple words and all the air went out of his lungs. He crushed her to him. Her body tensed at the powerful embrace, but she held tight, knowing he needed her.
“I’ll never leave you again, Rain. I can’t live without you. I can’t breathe, think, be. Not in any kind of way that exceeds existing. I want to live and be happy the only way I can when I’m with you.”
“Okay, Brody. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry about the past. I’m furious with Roxy about what she did, what she put you and Autumn and Dawn through. I promise, I’ll never let her hurt you or the girls again. I swear, I’ll never hurt you again.”
“Enough,” she said, her words choked out on a soft sob.
“It’s not enough until you love me again. Until you’re mine again.”
“Not again, Brody. Always. I’ve loved you my whole life, since the day I met you in the school nurse’s office. You were sick and I’d skinned my knees because that awful boy pushed me down.”
“Scott. You asked if my mother was coming to take me home.”
“You were green. You confessed you didn’t have a mother or a father who cared. We swapped stories about how your mother left you and my mother died. The nurse let me sit with you until after school and I asked my dad to drive you home. The next day, you stayed close while I played on the bars. When Scott tried to pick on me again, you shoved him to the ground and told him to leave me alone.”
“He was terrified,” Brody remembered.
“You were older and six inches taller than him. He never bothered me again. No one did, because they didn’t want to go up against you. I worshipped you from that moment on.
“I’m yours, Brody. I always have been and I always will be. There never was and will never be anyone else but you.”
She was his. He was the only man who’d ever touched her, loved her completely. The only man she’d ever loved. He’d make damn sure he was the last.
He took a step toward the house and his leg gave out with their combined weight. He fell forward, but she caught him when her feet thudded to the floor. She took his weight, braced her hands on his shoulders, and helped him stand on his own again.
Looking at the floor and the toes of his boots, he said, “Sorry. I guess I’m not up to carry you off to bed.”
She took his face in her hands and made him look at her. “How about dinner then?”
“Are you going to keep making things like this easy on me?”
“Your body still needs time to heal. Of course, I’ll give you a break and be there for you when you need me. More important is the fact that in addition to your leg, you’re hurt here,” she said and took his head between her hands. She placed her right hand on his chest over his heart. “And here.”
“Rain. You have no idea how it feels to stumble on my leg or lose myself in a war that isn’t there. My world falls away and I’m in a living nightmare and I can’t escape.”
“The only thing I ask is that if you can’t take care of the girls on your own, you let me know. No recriminations, I’ll just be sure to be there with all of you.”
“Why are you being so cool about all this? You have every right to use my past against me, use my muddled mind and my injuries to keep them from me.”
“Punishing you only punishes me. Isn’t that what you’ve finally realized you’ve done to yourself the last eight years? Isn’t that why you really came home? Because living apart is a torment for the both of us.”
“I wish I knew what I did to deserve you. I’d do it every day for the rest of my life just to keep you.”
“The only thing you need to do to keep me is love me. And our girls.”
“I do love you. With everything I am. I won’t screw this up again. I promise.”
“Don’t make that promise, Brody. We both know you’re going to do something supremely stupid that I’ll have to forgive.”
“But you will forgive me because you love me.” This time, the cocky grin came easy. He squeezed her hips where he held her close.
“I can forgive you most anything, Brody. I have before. But don’t ask me to forgive you sleeping with another woman. I just don’t have it in me to live through that again.”
“Never. I don’t want anyone but you. I swear it, Rain.”
“Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.” He leaned down to kiss her upturned mouth. Before his lips met hers, she said, “Feed me.” To prove her point, her stomach rumbled, making them both laugh.
“Come on. I’ve got most of dinner ready. You can set the table while I toss the steaks on the grill.”
“Perfect.”
“Yeah, you are,” he said under his breath and followed her to the door.
Chapter Eighteen
* * *
BRODY WALKED INTO the kitchen through the mudroom, a platter of steaks and baked potatoes in his hand. He stopped and stared at Rain as she leaned over the table and set a glass of iced tea in front of a place setting. The table looked great. Rain simply took his breath away. Two candles burned in the center. Their soft glow highlighted her long hair, sparking off the reds and golds throughout the thick mass. Her red sweater fit snug over her breasts and hugged her body to her slightly curved hips. Her breasts were still high and round. Her hips tapered to lean thighs. She’d held her athletic physique all these years. Probably from running after two active little girls.
She caught him staring at her. Without a word, she came to him and took the platter. He hadn’t seen the slice of carrot in her hand, but she popped it into his mouth and patted his cheek.
“Let’s eat, big guy. I’m starving.”
“Me, too.” It had nothing to do with the foo
d on the table and everything to do with her. She made his mouth water.
He took his seat and looked at the dishes she’d set out.
“I like the new dishes and glasses you bought. They’re lovely.”
“I thought you’d like them. The place is kind of a disaster right now . . .”
“Not really. The new furniture is great. I see you’ve set up your computers in the living room.”
“Yeah, I’ve got some work I need to do. In case you haven’t noticed, the back wall is nothing but plastic sheeting.”
She gave him a lopsided smile and looked thoughtful at the same time. “I thought there was something different.”
A bite of steak disappeared into her mouth, her lips skimming over her fork. He swallowed hard. “I’m meeting with an architect. When I arrived, I thought I’d just expand the living room and out the back, adding another bedroom, bathroom, and expanding this room. But when I found out about the girls, I knew we’d need a bigger place.”
Her fork stopped halfway to her mouth. Potato and sour cream suspended in midair. Her face stilled, her eyes narrowed on him. “We need a bigger place?”
“I know you like your house, but it’s kind of small for you and the girls. I don’t know how Eli feels about living over the garage. I thought he might like to have the house back and you and the girls would live with me. I have plans for this place and building the new stables. I thought we could do it together. I have a condo in Atlanta. I’ll have to go there a couple times a year for business. I thought you might like to go with me. Sometimes it’s necessary for me to travel here and overseas. Maybe you could come along when it’s convenient. You could see some of the world. We could see it together.”
“What about the girls?”
The Return of Brody McBride Page 18
