I shrugged. “Dunno. Haven’t really thought about it yet.”
“Really?” She looked at me curiously. “I mean, haven’t you thought about college, or something?”
I snorted. “I don’t think college is for me. I’m fucking sick of classrooms.”
She frowned. “Well, what then?”
“Like I said, I don’t know.” I was getting a little irritated. This was starting to feel like an interrogation, when I’d brought her out here to try to get to first base. Impatiently, I turned the question back on her, hoping she’d stop asking me about a future I couldn’t even begin to envision. “What about you?”
“University of Washington,” she said promptly.
Something inside me drooped a little. “Really? That’s pretty far away. Are you already accepted?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I really need to get away from here.”
“Why?”
“I just do.” She looked down at her hands, then back up at me, her eyes strangely intense. “Have you ever felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t get out of your life?”
Wow. That was sudden. But curiously, even though I had no idea what she was talking about, I knew exactly how she felt. “Yeah. I have. Pretty often, in fact.”
“I just…” She frowned, then took a deep breath. “I just want to go somewhere else. I want the chance to be someone else for a while.”
I moved closer, and without even knowing exactly what my body was doing, my hand reached up to her face. I softly stroked the curve of her jaw with my thumb.
“I think who you are already is pretty fucking great,” I said.
Lowering my head to hers, I brushed my lips against her mouth in the softest kiss I could manage. A bolt of electricity shot through me at the contact, racing straight to my dick. I felt her gasp as her lips parted under mine.
My hand went to her hair, and I cradled the back of her head in my palm as I leaned in further, deepening the kiss. Our tongues met. She hesitated for a moment, and then the tip darted out to meet mine.
Then, without warning, everything tilted on its axis, and suddenly we were devouring each other.
She moaned softly into my mouth and tangled her tongue with mine. My heart started slamming like crazy in my chest as I pulled her even closer to me. I felt her own heart fluttering against mine in response. Jesus, it was amazing. Never in my life had I ever felt so shattered by one simple kiss. I was almost paralyzed by the force of it — on the one hand, I never wanted to do anything but this for the rest of my life, and on the other I wanted to pull her down to the ground and fuck her, press myself inside her and let loose the desperate ache in my balls that I always felt whenever she was around.
I don’t know how long we stayed like that. I remember trailing my lips behind her ears, nibbling on her soft lobes, the soft sensual beat of the pulse in her neck. I remember my hands traveling to her breasts, thumbing the nipples to hardness through her shirt and bra. I remember the fucking glorious sound of her shallow breaths, the hitch in her throat whenever I did something that excited her.
Eventually, she pulled away and stared at me, her eyes dark with passion and need. “I… she whispered. “I think we should stop.” She blushed. “For now.”
“Whatever you say, princess.” I whispered the words against her neck, reveling in the shiver it sent through her. I was willing to go however fast or slow she wanted. All I cared about was that she was with me, and that maybe next time, she’d let me go a little farther. It would all but kill me to wait, but I’d take all the time she needed if it meant that eventually she’d be mine.
We got up from the bench, me struggling to contain my raging hard-on and her looking flushed and a little flustered. Wordlessly, I took her hand and twined my fingers through hers. I couldn’t ever remember having done that with a girl before. It felt good. Natural. I wanted to keep doing it.
We wandered around the trails surrounding the hot springs for a while longer, talking softly, me occasionally pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. Eventually, she told me with a sigh that she needed to get home.
We headed back over to the bike and I handed her the helmet. She strapped it on and got on behind me, her arms wrapping around me tightly, but not nervously this time. Somehow, I could feel the difference. I reached down and caressed her thigh through her jeans, grazing a fingernail slowly as high as I dared. My heart leapt with pleasure as I heard her sharp intake of breath.
Then I fired up the bike and pulled out toward home.
I didn’t know where Eva lived, so she had to give me directions to her house. It was in a neighborhood not too far from the school, working class and a little run-down in places, like my own. A couple of kids were playing with a ball in the street, and I was careful to swerve around them as they stopped their play and stared wide-eyed at us and the bike. I heard and felt Eva chuckle behind me, and I couldn’t help but smile, too.
I pulled up at the curb in front of the house she had indicated and shut off the bike, holding it steady for her as she got off. She took off the helmet and handed it to me. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks flushed. She looked gorgeous. “Thanks, Caleb. I had a great time.”
I grinned at her. “Me, too. Maybe we could do it again sometime?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but a loud screaming cut her off. From the front door of the house, a woman emerged. The screen door banged loudly shut behind her. “God damnit, Eva, where the hell have you been?”
The woman was dressed in an ill-fitting T-shirt and a pair of worn jeans that looked like they hadn’t been washed in a while. “Get in the goddamn house, now!”
The woman’s hair was a shade darker than Eva’s, and her face was prematurely aged in that way that alcoholics and heavy smokers look, but the resemblance was still there. This had to be Eva’s mom.
“Get the hell away from that bike! What the hell is wrong with you!” she screamed. Eva glanced at me, her expression scandalized. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, and fled up the walk toward the house.
Brushing past her mother, she ran inside, the door slamming again behind her. The woman continued to yell, and began to berate me as the little kids stared at us in silence.
I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of. I strapped the helmet on the back of the bike, fired it up, and got the hell out of there.
I had never thought to get Eva’s phone number from her, and I didn’t know anyone who would have it, so I had to wait until Monday to see her. The weekend dragged by slower than any weekend ever had. And even though I got some invitations to go party with people, I found myself leaving early and riding the bike around restlessly.
Monday finally came, and I couldn’t wait until the first class we had together to see her. I went to her locker before the first bell, hoping she’d show up, but she never did. Disappointed, I went back before chemistry, when normally I would walk her to class, but she wasn’t there. She didn’t show up to chem, and she wasn’t in English, either. I had no idea what to make of it, and was antsy as fuck all day.
On Tuesday, I tried to play it cool, and showed up at her locker at my normal time. “Hey, Eva. Missed you yesterday.” I tried as hard as I could to act like I hadn’t spent the last three days on pins and needles. “Were you sick or something?”
When she turned to me, the look she gave me was one of pure loathing. “Do not talk to me. Ever. Again,” she hissed. Her eyes were cold, hard sapphires. “Ever. I mean it.”
“Eva, what—“
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” she yelled.
A couple of kids turned to look at us. I opened my mouth to protest, but she slammed her locker shut with a loud bang and stormed off toward our classroom. I stood there, not knowing what to do or say. I had no idea what I’d done. I had no idea what she thought I’d done.
All I knew is that suddenly I wanted to vomit.
I tried to talk to her a couple of times after that. But she was serious. She never wan
ted to hear my voice again. She wasn’t just playing some sort of manipulation game, like some girls would do to test how much you were willing to put up with to be with them.
Eventually, I stopped trying. I ended hooking up with Debbie Turner for a while to distract myself. Then the school year ended. I never saw Eva again.
I assumed she went to University of Washington, like she said she was going to. And that was that.
Until now. Here she was. It was ten years later, and she was ten times more gorgeous. And she still thought I was a fucking asshole.
And I still didn’t know why.
But I wasn’t about to go through that bullshit again. Eva Van Buren was the closest I’d ever come to having my heart broken, and I didn’t need that shit in my life. I preferred the never-ending stream of no-strings-attached pussy, thank you very much. I wasn’t the moony-eyed kid I had been back then.
Before I left the hospital, I had Cal come down with me to the third floor so I could set up my first PT appointment. Might as well get the ball rolling, I figured. They booked me for a ten o’clock session the following day, which they said would be done around noon. I was about to begin seeing Eva Van Buren every single day.
It was only six weeks, I told myself. Eight at the most. I’d done tougher things before.
Right?
6
Eva
I sat in the cafeteria by myself, sipping iced tea at a remote corner table and trying to stop my hands from shaking from the adrenaline.
I couldn’t believe that after all these years, he still had the power to make me feel like an awkward, humiliated teenager.
Caleb Jackson had been the hottest guy in my high school class. Oh, there were other guys who were good looking, popular, and the like. But most of them, at eighteen, still hadn’t really filled out, and still acted and seemed more like boys than men.
Caleb, on the other hand, was already manly, in a way that was both thrilling and slightly terrifying. Unlike the boys on the football and wrestling teams, who spent most of their off hours in the weight room, Caleb was muscular in a way that didn’t come from time logged at the gym. His wide, strong shoulders tapered to a tight waist and abdomen. His thighs were lean, their muscles evident even under his jeans. His coal black hair was always slightly too long, and even in high school his face always sported the shadow of a full beard. Thick, sensual lips would curl into a panty-melting smile when girls would shamelessly flirt with him, and his dark, penetrating eyes seemed to burrow straight through you.
He was the subject of all my reluctant fantasies.
He was also completely out of my league.
I was pretty much the complete opposite of Caleb in school. Where he was an early bloomer, I was a late one. To the point that by my senior year, I was despairing of ever “blooming” at all. At barely 5’3”, I would never be one of the statuesque beauties that graced the halls of our school. I wasn’t a cheerleader; I wasn’t one of the popular kids. I was just a geeky girl with a 3.8 GPA and dreams of going to a good college.
I was no one that the likes of Caleb Jackson would ever notice.
Which is why I should have known something was up when he started hanging around my locker.
At first, I thought it was because Debbie Turner had the locker next to me. Lucky me, not only did I have the misfortune of living right across the street from that snotty wench, I also had to see her practically every time I came to get my books. Debbie was a raging bitch to any girl who didn’t kiss her ass, but butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth around any guy she thought was hot. She had been on the homecoming court, was one of the most popular girls in our class, and had dated the quarterback of our football team for a few months.
The first day Caleb showed up by our bank of lockers, I just concluded he had decided to make a play for her. So when he struck up a casual conversation with me, I actually wasn’t even nervous at first. I was assuming he was about to ask me about her, so I figured I was more or less invisible to him, anyway.
“Hey, Eva, what’s up?” he asked me as he leaned up against Debbie’s locker.
“Uh… not much. You?” I reached up to my book shelf, avoiding his eyes.
“Eh, you know. Just livin’ the dream.” His eyes twinkled, his tone slightly mocking. “You on your way to chem?”
“Yeah.” Chemistry was one of the two classes we had together.
“Want me to walk you?”
As we made our way to Mrs. Burch’s classroom, I could barely hear what Caleb was saying, with all the blood rushing to my head. I hadn’t even known he knew my name, much less noticed we were in the same class.
To this day I have no idea what I said to him, or if I said anything at all. All I remember was the sound of his voice, already deep and rich, like chocolate.
Caleb wasn’t “popular,” exactly. “Popular” was a word I would use to describe people who belonged to the clique that controlled the pecking order of our class. They were the ones who decided I was a geek, and that Carol Jackson was a nerd, and that Brook Brody was a burnout.
Caleb, on the other hand, didn’t belong to any one crowd. He mostly hung out with the tough guys who smoked cigarettes behind the bus barn after school, but no one thought to categorize him as a burner. He moved through the school to the beat of his own rhythm. Guys admired him. Girls… well, whether they’d admit it or not, I bet that most of the girls in our school would have done anything to be with him.
And even though I liked to pride myself on not being shallow enough to judge people on their appearances, I was right there with them. But even so, I told myself, for all Caleb’s easy charm and blatant sex appeal, he was just another guy, out for sex. He was just way more successful at getting it than most of them. Girls would whisper about him in the locker room, and I had overheard more than a few boasting that they had spent a hot, sweaty evening in the back of the old, black pickup truck he drove around.
As far as I could tell, Caleb himself never bragged about his conquests. But then again, he didn’t have to. Any girl who had been with him would be sure to broadcast it far and wide.
Except for me.
Ugh. It’s a story as old as high school drama. I know that now. At the time, though, it was the worst period of my life, masquerading as the best. Caleb started hanging out by my locker every day after lunch, and would walk with me to chemistry. After chem, he would wait for me and walk me to my next class, before heading off to his study hall.
Girls started noticing. It made some of them start talking to me, too. Suddenly, for the first time I could remember, I found myself almost popular.
Unfortunately, it also made some of them jealous. Girls who until then had basically ignored me started making little comments behind me in the halls, just loud enough so I could hear them. “Eva thinks she’s hot shit. She thinks Caleb actually likes her. God, how embarrassing for her.”
My face would grow beet red with indignation. But also with shame. Because, the thing was, deep down inside me, I had been starting to hope, just a little bit, that maybe Caleb did like me. That maybe this wasn’t some big cosmic joke that the universe was playing on me.
That maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t completely ridiculous that someone like him could see something interesting, even compelling, in someone like me.
But the words that were hissed behind me as I walked the halls had their effect. They were like the whisper of my deepest fears come to life. I began to act less friendly around Caleb. Indifferent. Mostly to prove to him, and to myself, that I didn’t really care about him all that much.
Weirdly, he seemed almost hurt by it. He didn’t stop coming by my locker every day, though. And one Friday after school, he even asked if I wanted to go hang out.
“Come on,” he urged when I demurred. “I’ve got something to show you. I think you’ll like it.”
I don’t know why I accepted, except that curiosity eventually overcame my fear of getting played.
We wandered out to the student
parking lot, but instead of heading toward the back of the lot, where he usually parked, he turned me toward the front row, where the mopeds and scooters were. Eventually, he stopped in front of a large, low-slung motorcycle with a black tank.
“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked with a grin.
“What happened to your truck?” I blurted out, then reddened. I didn’t want him to think I cared enough about his comings and goings to know what he drove. “I mean, don’t you drive a truck?”
He shrugged. “I sold it.”
“But… what will you do when it rains?”
“I won’t melt,” he said simply. He nodded toward the bike. “So, what do you say?”
When I hesitated, he persisted.
“Come on. You’ll love it. Trust me.” He pointed toward the bike. “Look, I even have a helmet for you to wear.”
There was something about the grin he flashed me… so cocky, so confident, like he just knew I was going to say yes. And then he winked at me. What eighteen year-old guy does that? But whereas with anyone else, it might have been cheesy, that wink broke down my defenses.
I found myself smiling back at him. “Okay,” I said shyly, and reached for the helmet.
As we rode out of the parking lot, I still remember the burst of pride that leapt from my chest as a group of the popular kids, Debbie Turner among them, turned to stare at us. My arms were wrapped around Caleb’s waist, his body heat radiating from him. It was the first time we had ever touched, and being so close to him made me feel kind of dizzy.
I kept taking surreptitious little whiffs of his skin as we rode. He smelled like soap, and man. My previous experience with boys was limited to a seventh-grade fling with a boy named Scotty, who I used to hold hands with before school and whom I only ever let kiss me once before breaking up with him. As I sat behind Caleb, I wondered if he’d be able to tell how inexperienced I was if he kissed me. Then I silently berated myself for even letting myself think about the possibility that he would want to kiss me.
RIDE (A Stone Kings Motorcycle Club Romance) Page 4
