She wasn’t feeling quite so sanguine about it later that morning as she peeled and sliced her way through mountains of vegetables. She tried to practise mindfulness meditation, making an effort to be in the moment, just chopping the vegetables, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit aggrieved that she was going to all this trouble for her brothers and their wives, when she already knew they would take it for granted. They didn’t appreciate the work that went into entertaining because they never did it themselves. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she had been invited to either of their houses for dinner. She sighed as she prepared the sauce for the cauliflower cheese that her mother always insisted on because it was Neil’s favourite. It was her favourite too, but she wished that, just once, someone would make it for her instead of the other way around.
She really was her mother’s daughter, she thought, as she surveyed the ingredients laid out on the table. There would be enough to feed an army. She had made apple tarts for dessert, and before that there would be roast beef, cauliflower cheese, carrots, peas, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and gravy.
Luca could do with a feed like this, she thought, and wished she was cooking for him instead of her ungrateful family. At least he would appreciate it. And then she thought, Why not? There was no reason she couldn’t invite him. After all, it was her home and she was the one doing all the work. Besides, her mother would be delighted. Much as Espie loved having the family and old friends around, nothing gave her more pleasure than meeting new people. Claire knew that anyone she wanted to invite would be welcome – and she was sure her mother would like Luca. Of course, he might not want to come. But she could ask him.
She wiped her hands on a tea-towel and was on her way to the sitting room to run it by her mother when the doorbell rang. She thought she could hear children’s voices outside, but it was only two, and she had told everyone dinner would be at six.
When she opened the door to find Michelle, Neil, Holly and Cian standing in the porch she was a little surprised. Holly and Cian zipped past her into the house with excited cries of ‘Nana! Nana!’
‘Go easy,’ Michelle called after them. ‘Nana’s a bit weak at the moment.’ She and Neil stepped inside as a bewildered Claire stood back.
‘These are for Espie,’ Michelle said, handing Claire a huge bouquet.
‘Thanks. Um … Mum’s in there,’ she said, gesturing to the sitting room. ‘You’re very early. Dinner won’t be ready until—’
‘Oh, we’re not staying,’ Michelle explained. ‘We’re off to the garden centre for the afternoon, but we thought we’d drop the kids off here so they can spend some time with their granny.’
‘They hate being dragged around the garden centre,’ Neil said. ‘It’s so boring for them.’
‘Mum’s still a bit tired,’ Claire protested, ‘and she’s supposed to be taking it easy. And I’ll be busy making dinner.’
Michelle gave a brittle laugh. ‘Welcome to my world,’ she said. ‘When you’re a mum, you have to get used to doing twenty different things at once. And I’m sure Espie would like to spend some time with them,’ she added reprovingly. ‘She hasn’t seen them in ages.’
And whose fault is that? Claire wanted to shout. But she gritted her teeth and said nothing.
‘We’ll just pop in and say hello,’ Michelle said, ‘and then we’ll be off.’
Claire followed them into the sitting room. Her mother was sitting in an armchair with one leg elevated, and Holly and Cian were quizzing her about her false hip while trying to climb on top of her.
‘Can we see it?’
‘No, it’s on the inside.’
‘Does it make you go really fast?’
Espie laughed. ‘No, it makes me go slower at the moment.’
‘That’s no use!’
‘You’re very early,’ Espie said to Neil and Michelle, as they came in. ‘Have you come to help Claire? That’s very nice of you.’
Claire hid a smirk. Her mother knew damn well that it would never have occurred to either of them to help out.
‘Oh, er … no. We’re off to the garden centre,’ Michelle said.
‘We’ll be back in time for dinner,’ Neil added helpfully.
‘Well, that’s the main thing,’ Espie said. ‘As long as you’re here to help eat it, it makes it all worthwhile.’
Michelle looked confused, as she often did around Espie. She was always off balance with Espie’s acerbic humour, and never seemed quite sure whether she should take offence or not. ‘We thought we’d drop the kids in with you for the afternoon,’ she said. ‘They were dying to see you.’
‘And I was dying to see them too,’ Espie said, smiling at her grandchildren.
‘Mum,’ Claire interrupted, ‘I was thinking of asking a – a friend over for dinner as well. Is that okay?’
‘Oh.’ Michelle turned to her, frowning. ‘I thought it would be nice just to have the family today.’
‘Of course, love,’ her mother said breezily. ‘Invite anyone you want – you don’t have to ask.’
‘You don’t want to overdo things, Espie,’ Michelle said. ‘You’re only just out of the hospital.’
‘Claire’s the one doing all the work,’ Espie said, fixing Michelle with a beady eye, ‘so if anyone’s going to be overdoing things, it’ll be her. I’ll be sitting here like Lady Muck, getting waited on hand and foot, like the rest of you.’
‘But it can be very tiring, having a big crowd around you – family’s different, isn’t it?’ Michelle said. ‘You don’t have to make an effort.’
‘You know I love having a big crowd in the house,’ Espie said, adding predictably, ‘The more, the merrier.’
Michelle gave Claire a sour look, clearly intended to make her feel she was being very selfish and thoughtless inviting a friend to join them for the dinner she had spent all day preparing. ‘Well, I’ll leave you to it,’ Michelle said.
‘Yes, I’ve no doubt you will,’ Espie said cheerily.
Michelle’s smile wavered uncertainly. ‘Be good for Nana,’ she said to the children.
‘Don’t worry, I’m more than a match for these two,’ Espie said.
‘It’s great to have you home,’ Michelle said, stooping to give her mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek before they left. ‘Take care. See you all later.’
Bloody hypocrite, Claire thought, watching Michelle leave. She’d hardly seen Espie for years before they’d had the children. She had deliberately cut her mother-in-law out of her life, having decided she was a ‘toxic’ person who was a drain on her positive energy. Claire knew this because Michelle had written about it in her blog, casting herself as the martyred victim of a nasty, interfering mother-in-law.
This was based on a couple of incidents that had caused Michelle great offence. First, Espie had organised a surprise party for Neil’s thirtieth birthday. Even though she had planned nothing to mark the occasion, Michelle claimed that Espie had stolen her thunder and was trying to usurp her rightful position as the number-one woman in Neil’s life. She was particularly needled that the party was a raucous, roaring success. Neil had made the mistake of telling her he’d had the time of his life, and everyone was talking about it for months afterwards, praising Espie’s warmth and hospitality.
Second, Espie had visited Michelle on the day she’d given birth to Holly, eager to see her first grandchild – when, as Michelle told her readers, she had made it quite clear that the only visitors she wanted in the first few days were Neil and her own mother; she had told everyone else that, if they wanted to do something, they could stock up her freezer with food or do a bit of cleaning in preparation for her going home, instead of crowding into her hospital room and cluttering it with flowers and baby gifts.
Not long after she had taken Holly home, though, Michelle had changed her tune and decided Espie wasn’t so toxic after all – not if it meant free babysitting on tap so she could enjoy child-free nights out and weekends away, and the ‘me time
’ that was so precious to her as a new mother. But she had still acted like she was doing it for the sake of family harmony, at great personal cost. Claire sometimes wondered how much of her own bullshit Michelle actually believed.
Back in the kitchen, Claire rang Luca, desperately hoping now that he would come. Would he think she was being clingy, trying to see him again already? Maybe it would be a good thing if she couldn’t get him, she thought, as his phone rang and rang. She was about to hang up when he answered.
‘Hey, sweetheart. What’s up?’
‘Hi.’ She felt a burst of happiness in her chest at the endearment – even though she knew he didn’t mean anything by it. ‘I was just wondering if you’d like to come for dinner.’
‘Still on a mission to feed me up?’ He chuckled.
‘I mean, you’re probably doing something else, but I just thought I’d ask. There’s all this food—’
‘No, that’d be great. Thanks.’
‘My whole family will be here,’ she said warningly, ‘so …’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t try to jump you in the middle of dinner.’
She laughed. ‘I was just warning you. In case you want to back out.’
‘I don’t.’
‘So, you’ll come? To dinner, I mean.’
‘Yes, I’ll come to dinner.’
‘Great. We’re eating at about six.’
‘Cool. See you then.’
Ronan and Liz arrived at five thirty, with Ben and Adam. A tall, slender and very pretty woman, Liz was loud, overbearing and bossy. But she was well meaning and, unlike Michelle, there was no spite in her. A problem-solver by nature, she was always cheerfully doling out unasked-for advice, suggesting places Claire might find a boyfriend or telling Espie about alternative therapies and diets she might try. Ronan was so gentle and easy-going, he was completely overshadowed by his strident wife and rowdy sons.
Michelle and Neil returned shortly afterwards and Claire gave them all drinks in the sitting room while she put the finishing touches to dinner. She had just called everyone into the kitchen when the doorbell rang.
‘Who’s that?’ Liz asked, as they took their places at the table. ‘I thought we were all here.’
‘Claire asked a friend to dinner. Very unfair, I think, on Espie’s first day home,’ Michelle said, in a stage whisper, as Claire went to answer the door.
‘Hi.’ Luca bent and gave her a swift kiss on the lips. ‘Am I late?’ he asked, handing her a bottle of wine.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have bothered – but thanks,’ she said, taking it from him. ‘No, you’re just in time.’
She stepped back to let him pass, and found Holly standing behind her in the hall with a sly grin on her face. She skipped ahead, as Claire led Luca into the kitchen. Michelle was making a great show of being helpful, pouring wine and fussing over Espie, while Liz barked orders at her family.
Everyone looked up as Claire and Luca came in. ‘Everyone, this is Luca,’ Claire said, then went around the table, introducing everyone in turn.
‘Well, Claire’s kept you very quiet, Luca,’ Liz roared, as he took a seat beside Claire. ‘I hope we don’t scare you off. Are you sure it’s wise throwing him in at the deep end like this?’ she said to Claire.
‘Sorry?’
‘I mean, we didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, and now it’s meet the whole family time.’
‘Oh, I don’t – I mean, he’s not—’
‘At least, I didn’t know,’ Liz continued. ‘Did anyone else?’ Everyone shook their heads. ‘You should have said something. I can stop trying to think of people to fix you up with now. Thank God!’ She laughed. ‘Because, honestly, I was running out of ideas. Ronan, you can tell that guy at work to stand down.’
‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ Claire said hastily, glancing at Luca. This had been a bad idea. She hoped he wouldn’t freak out. ‘We’re just friends. But don’t get that guy at work to stand up again,’ she whispered to Ronan, who smiled at her sympathetically.
‘But I saw you kissing in the hall,’ Holly said, with a cheeky smile.
Claire blushed. ‘It wasn’t that kind of kissing.’
‘Don’t be a tattle-tale, Holly,’ Espie said, as everyone settled and began helping themselves. ‘So, tell us all about yourself, Luca.’
‘What would you like to know?’
‘Well, what do you do? Let’s start with that.’
‘I’m an artist – a painter.’
‘I love doing painting!’ Holly said. ‘I didn’t know that could be a job.’
‘So you make a living out of painting?’ Espie said. ‘How marvellous!’
‘Well, not much of a living.’
‘Still, to be able to do something you love – I think that’s wonderful.’
‘So, how do you two know each other?’ Liz asked. ‘Cut up Ben’s meat for him, Ronan.’
‘Oh, we met at, um … night classes,’ Claire blurted out.
‘Night classes?’ Liz hooted. ‘I didn’t think anyone actually met at night classes.’
‘I didn’t know you were taking night classes,’ Espie said to Claire. ‘You’ve been holding out on me.’ She gave Claire a sly smile.
‘I only started going while you were in hospital.’
‘So what was the class?’ Michelle asked.
‘Um … art,’ Claire said.
‘Oh, so you were the teacher?’ Liz asked Luca.
‘Yeah,’ he answered, flashing a little smile at Claire.
‘I didn’t know you could paint.’ Ronan looked at Claire in surprise.
‘Well, I can’t, really. That’s why I’m going to classes.’
‘And what I teach Claire is more sort of … performance art,’ Luca said.
‘You can teach that?’
‘I’ve never taught it before, but I’m giving it a go.’
‘Anyway, I’m not very good,’ Claire mumbled, hoping they would drop the subject.
‘Claire’s too hard on herself,’ Luca told everyone. ‘She’s actually shown great aptitude.’
‘I try hard,’ Claire said, ‘but it’s more effort than talent.’
‘Well, you know what they say,’ Michelle piped up. ‘It’s ninety per cent perspiration and ten per cent inspiration.’
Luca laughed. ‘Yeah, that’s certainly true. Claire puts a lot of sweat into it. But you’ve started coming up with lots of inspiration lately too,’ he said to her.
‘Maybe you could show us some of your stuff later,’ Liz said. ‘Give us a performance.’
‘Yeah!’ Holly clapped her hands.
‘Oh, no!’ Claire yelped. ‘Um … I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
Luca laughed. ‘Claire’s still very shy about her talent,’ he said. ‘She doesn’t show her stuff to many people.’
‘She can’t be that shy about it,’ Michelle scoffed. ‘What about the rest of the class?’
‘Oh, I was giving Claire private tuition,’ Luca said, throwing Claire an intimate look.
‘Claire’s very private about her writing too,’ Michelle said to Luca. ‘Did you know she writes?’
‘Yes. I’ve read some of her stuff. It’s really good.’
Michelle looked at him aghast. ‘Well, you’re privileged! She never lets anyone see her writing. I’m a writer too, and I keep trying to persuade her to join a group with me, but so far the most I’ve seen of her writing is on Christmas and birthday cards.’
‘You and Michelle should help each other,’ Neil said bossily to Claire. ‘What’s the point of writing if you never let anyone read it?’
‘I will eventually – when I feel it’s good enough.’
‘You have to get it out there some time, Claire,’ Michelle said. ‘Get some feedback. Connect with people in the industry who can help you.’
‘And Michelle is really good at networking,’ Neil said. ‘She’s made lots of useful contacts.’
‘Claire will take the publishing world by storm when she’s goo
d and ready, won’t you?’ Espie said, smiling at Claire.
‘Well, you can’t just sit back and hope someone’s going to break into your computer and discover you,’ Michelle said. ‘You have to get out there and chase it.’
Imagine her face if I told her I already have a book deal, Claire thought.
‘Are you published?’ Luca asked Michelle.
‘No, not yet. But I feel I’m getting closer. I really believe it’s only a matter of time.’
‘Perseverance is the thing,’ Neil chimed in, playing his part in a well-oiled conversation. ‘Look at how many rejections J.K. Rowling got before she was published.’
‘Did you see that ‘Scenes of a Sexual Nature’ blogger got a book deal?’ Michelle said to Claire, her lip curled in a sneer. ‘Bloody typical!’
‘Um … yes, I did see that,’ Claire said faintly. She’d known Michelle would be enraged by the news.
Luca looked at Claire, eyebrows raised, and she shook her head almost imperceptibly at him. ‘Who’s that?’ he asked Michelle innocently.
‘She’s this awful little tart who writes an S-E-X blog,’ she said, glancing at the children as she spelled out the word.
‘That spells sex!’ Holly informed her younger brother and cousins.
‘It’s absolutely filthy.’ Michelle sniffed. ‘That sort of thing sells, I suppose. But I think there’ll always be room for genuine talent that doesn’t pander to the lowest common denominator. That’s what I pin my hopes on anyway. And you should too,’ she said kindly to Claire.
‘Oh, I like that blog,’ Claire said. ‘I think she’s a very good writer.’
‘You read that trash?’
‘It’s not trash.’
‘Well, she may be a good writer, but there’s no way she’d get that kind of attention if she was writing about anything else.’
‘People are interested in sex, that’s true.’ Claire shrugged. More interested than they are in you banging on about the bloody school run, she thought.
‘And have you seen the way she flirts with Mark Bell on Twitter? I don’t think it’s only her writing that got her that deal.’
Claire frowned, but said nothing. She hoped other people wouldn’t think that.
Some Girls Do Page 25
