‘Right, let’s get this over with,’ he said, opening his door.
As Claire stepped out onto the drive, the sound of the waves on one side mingled with the buzz of the party on the other. The location was stunning. The house clung to the cliff, nothing between it and the broad sweep of Killiney Bay, breathtakingly beautiful panoramic views spreading out in every direction. She went to the low stone wall at the edge of the garden and looked down to the beach at the bottom of the cliff, where foamy white waves crashed against the rocks. She turned back to the house, which was fronted by a terraced garden dotted with tiled benches, flowerbeds and quirky sculptures, and planted with an abundance of shrubs. Lanterns hung in the trees, and the deck around a large sunroom was strung with fairy lights.
Luca grabbed her hand, holding it so tightly it was almost painful as he led her towards the house.
‘Luca and Claire are here,’ Ali called over her shoulder, as she came barrelling down the steps that led to the front door. She threw her arms around Luca, and the tension seemed to leave his body, his grip on Claire’s hand relaxing.
‘Happy birthday, Ali,’ he said, kissing her cheek.
Ali released him and hugged Claire. ‘Thank you so much for coming. It’s lovely to have you here – both of you.’
‘Thanks for inviting me,’ Claire said. ‘Happy birthday!’
‘Come and meet Mum and Dad,’ Ali said, leading the way to the house.
Luca’s hand tightened around Claire’s again as they followed Ali up the steps to the open front door. They stepped into a high-ceilinged hall with a wooden floor. A large vase of tall white lilies on an elegant side table perfumed the air. Claire recognised the slim blonde woman who came to meet them from her author photo.
‘Why don’t you do the introductions?’ Ali said to Luca. ‘I have to check on the caterers.’ She skipped off through a side door.
‘Claire, this is my – this is Jacqueline,’ Luca said, as he drew her forward. Claire noticed Jacqueline’s hastily disguised wince at his use of her name. ‘Jacqueline, this is Claire.’
‘It’s lovely to meet you, Claire.’ Jacqueline smiled as she extended her hand.
‘Nice to meet you too,’ Claire said stiffly, as they shook. She felt Jacqueline scrutinising her closely, as if she was trying to figure something out.
‘I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you,’ she said, ‘but I’m afraid I haven’t.’
‘There’s not much to tell,’ Claire said, blushing. ‘We’re not really—’
‘We haven’t been together very long,’ Luca interrupted, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her into his side.
Claire smiled helplessly, feeling wrong-footed.
‘This is my husband, Jonathan,’ Jacqueline said, as a tall, lean man joined them in the hall. Grey-haired and handsome, he was considerably older than his wife. ‘Jonathan, this is Luca’s … friend, Claire.’
‘Pleased to meet you,’ he said, as he shook her hand, eyeing her as curiously as his wife had done. ‘Hey, Luca,’ he said, pulling him into a hug.
‘Why don’t you take Claire upstairs, Luca, and show her where everything is?’ Jacqueline said. ‘We’re putting jackets in your old bedroom. Then come down and join everyone in the sunroom.’
Upstairs, Luca showed Claire into his room. While she ducked into the en-suite to fix her hair and makeup, he went to the window and stared out at the sea. He wished he could have brought Claire here and shown her all this as something that was a part of him, somewhere he belonged – the beautiful house, his clever, talented family and the lovely life they led. But it was nothing to do with him. He felt as much a guest as she was – just as welcome, just as superfluous; every bit as much of an outsider. It highlighted how little he had to offer on his own account, and it struck him how bare and bleak his life must seem to her, how rich hers was by comparison – not just materially, but in people who cared about her and would always be there for her.
He was beginning to regret his insistence that she come. He didn’t like who he was around Jacqueline and he didn’t want Claire to see him like that – so cold and churlish, so ungrateful to the woman who had rescued him. He knew he owed her everything, and he had tried to make allowances and forgive her – not for not loving him, that wasn’t her fault: there hadn’t been much to love in the cold, scarred, battle-wounded boy she had brought home and, anyway, love wasn’t a decision you could make. But he did blame her for writing that book. It wasn’t because it came as a surprise to him that he was unloved, but until then it had been their secret, and keeping it was something they had done together. They’d worked as a team, the magician and her little accomplice – some sleight of hand here, a bit of misdirection there and, ta-da!, no one was the wiser. Until the day she broke faith with him and let everyone see behind the curtain, exposing him as the graceless impostor he really was.
‘This is an amazing house,’ Claire said, as she emerged from the bathroom. ‘Your parents must be loaded.’
‘They’re pretty well off. Jonathan’s a surgeon and Jacqueline’s a very successful journalist. So …’
‘Wow.’ She was looking troubled, probably wondering why his parents didn’t help him out when they were so wealthy.
‘And what about Ali?’
‘Ali has her trust fund. She has plenty of money of her own.’
‘Oh!’
‘They did the same for me,’ he told her. ‘I got money when I was twenty-one, same as Ali.’
‘What happened to it?’
He affected nonchalance. ‘I burned through it pretty quickly. I spent most of it on drugs and generally getting wrecked.’
He waited for her reaction, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t seem shocked or disapproving, just looked at him calmly, accepting what he was saying without comment or judgement.
‘They were pretty decent about it,’ he continued. ‘Obviously they couldn’t keep giving me money to squander on drugs so they cut me off, but they paid to send me to a pretty high-end rehab. And they made it clear I was welcome to move back here when I’d sorted myself out.’
‘But you didn’t?’
‘No. I’d leeched off them long enough. Rehab was all about standing on your own two feet. I thought I should try that for a while.’
‘Good for you!’
It killed him that she actually looked proud of him. ‘Well, I’m not making much of a go of it.’ He gave a self-deprecating laugh. ‘I’m not exactly the poster child for turning your life around. You’ve seen where I live.’
‘But you’re standing on your own two feet. You’re not relying on anyone else for handouts when you could easily have moved back here and continued to take money from your parents. And you’ve got off drugs and stayed clean. I think that’s pretty admirable.’
‘Less admirable than not getting fucked up in the first place.’
‘I’m not so sure.’
He smiled. He knew he didn’t deserve her faith in him, but it felt good having it. ‘Come on,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘We should find Ali and give her her presents.’
Downstairs, Luca led Claire into the large sunroom. Decorated in creams and greens, filled with plants and overlooking the sea on three sides, it felt like an extension of the garden. The walls were strung with fairy lights, and a long table in the centre of the room was set for dinner, with little vases of flowers dotted along the centre, the coloured glasses and floral tablecloth giving it a light, summery feel. The doors were thrown open, and guests were milling around on the deck overlooking the garden.
‘This is gorgeous!’ Claire gasped.
‘Where have you two been?’ Ali rushed up to them. ‘I probably shouldn’t ask,’ she continued, without waiting for an answer. ‘Come and have a drink.’ She linked Claire’s arm and led them to a table covered with ice buckets containing champagne, where Jacqueline and Jonathan were distributing drinks.
Jonathan picked up a bottle as they approached and poured a glass, han
ding it to Claire.
‘Oh, thanks, but I’m driving,’ she said. ‘You have this.’ She passed it to Luca, and Jacqueline frowned as he took it from her. ‘I’ll just have a mineral water, please.’
‘Oh no!’ Ali exclaimed. ‘You should have come in a taxi. Everyone should have champagne for my birthday.’ She pouted prettily.
‘You could have one glass,’ Jonathan said. ‘You’re allowed one, and it’ll be well out of your system by the time you leave anyway.’
‘And we’ll be eating too,’ Jacqueline added.
‘Okay, thanks.’ Claire smiled. Jonathan poured another glass and handed it to her.
‘You should stay the night,’ Ali said. ‘Then you could drink as much as you like.’
‘Yes, why don’t you?’ Jacqueline said. ‘Luca’s room is ready.’
‘I don’t mind not drinking,’ Claire said, glancing at Luca. She wasn’t sure how he would feel about staying over. She knew it was upsetting for him being there, and she didn’t want to make it any worse.
‘You need to get back early in the morning, don’t you?’ he said to her.
‘Yes!’ she said, glad he had given her an indication of what he wanted to do.
‘Well, she can drive home in the morning from here, can’t she?’ Ali said. ‘We’re not in Outer Mongolia.’
‘Might as well be for all he visits,’ Jacqueline muttered, under her breath.
‘I really should get home tonight,’ Claire said apologetically, to Ali.
‘So, how did you two meet?’ Jacqueline asked.
‘Claire works with Yvonne Redmond,’ Luca said. ‘We met through her.’
‘Oh, and where do you work?’
‘In a bookshop,’ Claire said.
‘Which one?’ Jonathan asked.
‘Bookends. Do you know it?’
‘Yes, it’s a great shop.’
‘How long have you been there?’ Jacqueline asked.
‘Um … almost four years now.’
‘And Ali tells us you live in Ranelagh?’
‘Yes. I live in the house I grew up in – with my mother.’
‘With your mother?’
‘Yes, she’s – well, she’s a bit incapacitated, and she has a heart condition, so she needs someone there.’
Claire was starting to feel uncomfortable under Jacqueline’s intense scrutiny and incessant questioning.
‘Have you always lived at home, then?’
‘No, I went to university in Edinburgh.’
‘And what did you study?’
‘English literature.’ This was beginning to feel like a job interview.
‘You’ll have to forgive Mum,’ Ali said, smiling indulgently at her mother. ‘She doesn’t usually give people the third degree, but it’s the first time Luca’s brought a girlfriend home.’
‘Oh, I’m not—’
‘Yes, you’re a first,’ Luca said, smiling fondly at her as he put an arm around her waist. She didn’t understand why, but for some reason Luca obviously wanted his mother to think they were a couple. So she put an arm around him and smiled back at him, gratified when she felt him relax beside her.
‘Yes, well, I must admit I was quite surprised when Ali told me Luca was bringing someone,’ Jacqueline said to Claire. ‘I’m sorry if I’m being rude—’
‘It’s fine,’ Claire hastened to assure her.
‘But it’s really lovely to have you here, Claire,’ she said, once more giving Claire that look, as if she was a complicated puzzle. ‘I must say, you’re not at all what I expected.’
‘Oh.’ Claire tried not to let her expression falter, but she felt hurt by Jacqueline’s remark, taking it to mean she found her a disappointment.
‘Stop that,’ Luca whispered to her, frowning at her sternly, as if he knew what she was thinking. In a louder voice, he said, ‘She means she thinks you’re too good for me. Don’t you, Jacqueline?’
‘No, of course not,’ Jacqueline snapped. ‘Please don’t do this today, Luca.’
‘What did you expect?’ he asked his mother, his lip curling in a sneer. ‘Some skank or junkie? Someone more suitable for a scumbag like me?’
‘Of course not!’
‘Luca, please,’ Ali whispered, her eyes darting between her mother and brother.
‘Sorry, Ali.’
Claire felt his body slump against her, the fight seeming to go out of him. He took a swig of champagne.
‘You’re drinking,’ Jacqueline said tightly, her eyes frosty as they focused on his glass.
‘Jesus!’ Luca swore under his breath. ‘Yeah, I’m drinking. So what? So are you.’
‘Yes, but I’m not—’
‘Neither am I!’ he roared.
‘You have a problem, Luca,’ Jacqueline hissed. ‘And the sooner you face up to it, the better. You can’t drink in moderation, so—’
‘That’s not true,’ Claire said. ‘I’ve never seen Luca drunk.’ Now that she thought about it, she’d never seen him drink more than a beer or two, or a couple of glasses of wine at the most. ‘I’ve never seen him even slightly tipsy.’
‘Well, lucky you. I hope you never have to. But he’s put us through hell—’
‘I think you’ve got that the wrong way around,’ Claire said quietly.
‘I beg your pardon?’ Jacqueline said haughtily. ‘I don’t know what he’s told you but—’
‘He didn’t have to tell me anything,’ Claire said, wishing her voice wasn’t trembling. ‘It’s all in the public domain. You put it there.’
‘Oh, God!’ Jacqueline rolled her eyes. ‘Not the book again!’
‘Leave it, Claire,’ Luca said quietly to her. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters!’ She turned to Jacqueline. ‘Luca is one of the kindest, sweetest, most lovable people I’ve ever met, and if you can’t see that, then it’s your loss.’ Not sure what to do after delivering her speech, she put down her glass, turned on her heel and made for the door.
‘Claire!’ she heard Luca call after her, as she bolted outside and down the steps into the garden.
She ran to the wall that edged the cliff, shaking and on the verge of tears. Oh, God, what had got into her? She hated rows and she was useless at confrontation. She couldn’t believe she’d spoken to Luca’s mother like that – and in the middle of Ali’s party. It was a horrible thing to do, she thought, as she swiped away tears with the back of her hand. How could she face any of them again? She just wanted to run away. Maybe she could hide in her car until it was time to leave. She felt she should go back and apologise, but she hadn’t really said anything she was sorry for. She’d said that Luca was sweet and lovable, and she wouldn’t take that back. She’d said he didn’t drink much, which was true. Oh, yeah – and she’d accused his mother of putting him through hell. That was rude, but she still wasn’t sure she regretted it. However, she should at least apologise to Ali for causing a scene at her party. She genuinely felt bad about that.
‘Claire!’ She turned to see Luca hurtling down the steps towards her.
‘God, I’m so sorry,’ she said when he reached her.
‘Hey, it’s okay,’ he said, pulling her into his arms. ‘Don’t be upset. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m sorry.’ He took her to one of the seats and sat her down beside him.
‘What must Ali think of me, behaving like that at her party? I have to apologise to her.’
‘Don’t worry about it. She’s used to me and Jacqueline kicking off.’
‘That’s different – you’re family. You’re allowed. It just got to me, the things she was saying about you. It’s not fair.’
‘But it’s true what she said. Except the bit about not being able to control my drinking. Jacqueline has very black-and-white ideas about drug use. She doesn’t understand that I can drink normally. But I can.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m not going to turn into some Dr Jekyll type after a couple of drinks. Or do I mean Mr Hyde? Anyway, whichever w
as the scary one.’
‘Mr Hyde.’
‘Right. I was never a very committed druggie in the first place, and I don’t have a drink problem. But the rest …’ He sighed. ‘Jacqueline knows me a lot better than you do. It was sweet of you to say those things about me, but they’re not true. I’m not a very nice person. And I did put them through hell. I was out of control when I was younger – doing drugs, always getting into fights—’
‘It’s understandable you were a bit messed up.’
‘Because I decided to be. I did it deliberately to get back at her. I went looking for trouble, and if I couldn’t find it, I made it. I wanted to make her life a misery.’
‘I still don’t think that means you were bad – just unhappy and troubled. And, anyway, you’ve changed now.’
‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘Anyway, just forget about it and come back inside. We still haven’t given Ali her presents.’
‘I don’t think I can face any of them again – especially not Ali. I could really use a drink, though.’
‘Wait here, then. I’ll get you one.’
She watched as he bounded up the steps to the deck. He passed Ali on the way and spoke to her, waving in Claire’s direction before continuing into the house. Ali came over to her, carrying a bottle of champagne as well as her own glass.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked, sitting down beside Claire and setting the bottle on the ground.
‘I’m so sorry, Ali. I don’t know what got into me.’
Ali held up a hand, stopping her. ‘Don’t worry about it. Believe me, I’m used to a bit of drama whenever Mum and Luca have to share the same space. To be honest, I think it’s lovely that he has someone on his side. I’m always caught in the middle between him and Mum, and then I feel bad that I don’t stick up for him more.’ She smiled and took a sip of champagne. ‘He really doesn’t have a drink problem. She’s wrong about that.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m glad he’s got you, Claire. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy.’
‘Oh, but we’re not—’
‘Yeah, yeah – whatever. I don’t know why you’re both so keen to keep it a big secret.’ She gasped, clutching Claire’s arm. ‘You’re not married, are you?’
Some Girls Do Page 30
