“Maybe Kate and I weren’t meant to be until now. Maybe we both had to live the lives we’ve had up to this point in order to appreciate what we’ve found now. And maybe you were meant to find out that Paul was your father now, because any sooner would’ve changed who you are right now.”
“Who am I?” Matt asked quietly. “All of a sudden, I don’t know anymore.”
Mike turned to face his nephew, and even though Matt was physically bigger than his uncle, Mike could see he was barely grown. The older man took the younger in his arms. “You’re the best of Paul, and your mom, and Dan, wrapped up in a new package called Matt Keller.”
“I want to be the best of you.”
A lump formed in Mike’s throat. “Thank you, Matt … I love you, too.”
They separated and Matt asked, “Will you take me to get my car? I wanna go home now.”
CHAPTER
FIFTY-TWO
“When do you want to open your present?” Kate asked Mike, trying to contain her amusement.
They lay on their stomachs at the foot of the bed, staring into the fire.
Mike, chin on his forearm, smiled as he rubbed a bare foot along her calf. “That wasn’t it?”
Kate languidly rolled onto her side to look at him. “You know your gift wouldn’t be anything that nice,” she said, grinning. Their Christmas ritual of who could find the other the tackiest gift had been going on for too many years to count. She wasn’t about to end it now.
Mike lazily turned his head and regarded her naked form appreciatively before speaking. “What time does Mickey say it is?”
Kate lifted her arm to look at her watch. “Ten past midnight.”
“Then I guess it’s Christmas.” He continued gazing at her, head on his arm, not moving.
Kate poked his shin with her toe and said, “Come on, Mike. Where’s my present?”
He sighed in resignation and slowly stretched. His arms surrounded her and he pulled her close. “One more kiss, darlin’.” His mouth covered hers.
He took his time, and Kate felt herself fall under the spell of this rediscovered feeling of lust. When he suddenly released her and said, “I’ll go get it,” Kate involuntarily groaned. “You’re a cruel, cruel man, Michael Fitzgerald.” He was already on his feet and Kate watched the muscles in his back and buttocks with unabashed appraisal as he walked out of the bedroom. A satisfied smile came to her lips. “You’re a gorgeous man, Michael Fitzgerald,” she said to the empty room as she reached under the bed for the box she’d put there.
When Mike returned, Kate sat up and wrapped herself in the quilt. “You first.”
“No way. The rules state that last year’s winner goes first.” Mike shrugged into a denim workshirt. “As I recall, you won with the lovely silver-plated corncob holders in the shape of breasts.”
Kate grinned and took the package from him. “I bet you never used them,” she said in mock hurt.
“On the contrary … they made great pushpins.”
She had already ripped the paper off the small box and plunged her hand inside, lifting out the tissue-wrapped object. Peeling off the outer layer, she stared at a piece of porcelain, obviously old. A look of disappointment stole over her face. “Mike, this is too nice …” Then she turned it around and her husky laugh hit him full force.
The prewar Japanese ashtray she held portrayed a smiling man on his hands and knees. Astride him was a redheaded woman in a polka-dot bathing suit. The caption read: “She’s As Nice a Gal As You Want t’Meet, But She Loves to Ride in the Rumble Seat.”
“God, Mike!” She was still laughing. “This is priceless!”
“It struck me as perfect.”
Still holding the ashtray, Kate threw her arms around him and knocked Mike over onto the bed. Slithering up his torso, careful to feel every inch of his hard-on, she throatily chuckled. “Wanna fuck?”
Her candor took him by surprise and Mike’s hands circled her waist, his eyes smiling. “Who are you?”
“Don’t toy with me, Michael. You’re dealing with a woman who’s denied herself for a very long time. So, I repeat. Wanna fuck?”
“I wanna open my present.” Kate’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he quickly added, “And then I wanna fuck.”
“Goody!” She sprang up and grabbed the flat box for him.
He weighed it, shook it, turned it over. It was meticulously wrapped, and he took his time with it, driving her crazy as he carefully undid the flaps of the paper so as not to tear it. She watched impatiently as he slid his finger under the final piece of tape and then began folding the gift wrap. He placed it on the bed, neatly piling the ribbon on top. This was all part of the ritual, and she knew it, but it didn’t stop her from muttering, “Come on, Mike, we’re getting older here!”
The lid was off the box and he peeled the tissue paper apart. Mike held up the royal blue boxer shorts covered with the SPAM logo and snorted. “You don’t really expect me to wear these, do you?”
Kate giggled. “And you don’t really expect to get into my panties without putting yours on, do you?”
“Oh, come on, Kate!” He was laughing as he set them aside and reached for her.
“Uh-uh. Put ’em on,” she said.
“Now?”
“Mike,” she explained patiently. “You have to put them on in order for me to take them off you.”
Kate came awake reluctantly, not sure why her mind didn’t want to be lucid. It was early. She knew that because she could still hear embers popping in the fireplace. Mike lay sprawled across the bed, his face buried in the crook of his arm. She rolled onto her side and watched him as he slept, a smile on her lips.
Cautiously, Kate reached out to touch his hair and she was suddenly taken with the reality of him lying in bed next to her. This was a wonderful thing. To hear his steady breathing, to be able to look at his smooth, muscled back, to know that his strong hands would always bring her pleasure, to understand that this man really loved her. Yes, this was truly a miraculous, wonderful thing.
And just as suddenly, she knew why she felt uneasy. It was Christmas. She moved closer to him and kissed his shoulder blade, willing him to wake. “Mike?” she whispered as he lifted his head.
A sleepy smile greeted her, then he mumbled, “S’early … go back to sleep.” His face disappeared into the pillow.
“Mike?” Her fingers caressed his neck. “Please? Can you hold me?”
His arm stole around her waist as he pulled her close. She could hear the rasp of his morning beard on the pillowcase as his face came into view again. His warm breath fogged her senses as his lips touched her eyelids.
“Merry Christmas, Katie,” he said quietly. “What is it?”
“I don’t think I can face Sheryl.”
“It’ll be hard, but it’ll be okay.” His hand moved down to her bare hip, then came to rest cupping a smooth cheek.
She draped a leg over his thigh and nestled into his body. Kate fell asleep wishing they could stay this way forever.
“Are you sure they’re coming?” Matt asked from the kitchen doorway, as Sheryl closed the oven door for the fifth time.
Both the turkey and Sheryl were doing a slow burn when the front door finally opened and Mike’s voice reached her. She swept past Matt, into the hallway and, still holding the baster, pointed it at her brother. “You’re over an hour late!”
“Merry Christmas to you, too,” Mike said as he hung his coat in the closet.
“Where is she?”
“Don’t start that ‘she’ stuff, Sheryl.”
“Where’s Kate?”
“On her way. And I’m sorry we’re late.”
“I suppose I have Kate to thank for that?” Sheryl asked.
“First of all, don’t assume anything. As it happens, it’s my fault we’re late. And secondly, let’s not forget how awkward this is gonna be. It was tough enough getting her to come at all.”
Mike had made a very uneasy peace with his sister for Matt’s sak
e. It was hard not to think of her as the bad guy in all this, because she was here and alive. He had to keep reminding himself that Paul deserved the blame.
Chastened for the moment, Sheryl said, “Sorry. But really, Mike, where is she?”
“Parking her car.”
“What?”
“We came in separate cars, in case she wanted to leave and I didn’t.” Mike saw the look of disbelief on his sister’s face. “Look, Sheryl. Kate’s not coming here to celebrate Christmas with the family.”
“What, then?”
Matt had entered the hall, and now said, “She’s coming to talk to you, Mom.”
Sheryl’s voice wavered. “What about dinner? Can’t we eat first?”
There was a soft knock on the front door and Mike opened it for Kate, who reluctantly stepped inside only after he took her hand.
The standard Christmas greeting hardly seemed appropriate, and so Sheryl simply said, “Hi, Kate.”
Kate nodded at Sheryl, while Mike helped her off with her coat.
Sheryl found the silence unnerving, and inanely said, “Are you hungry? The turkey’s a little dry, but—”
“I’m sorry we’re late,” Kate interrupted. “But Mike has a hard time with the word ‘no.’ ” She lifted her chin and leveled a look of defiance at Sheryl, wanting her to understand which of them mattered most at the moment. “I don’t want to hold up your dinner, but what I have to say won’t take long. Is there someplace we can talk?”
Sheryl’s office seemed even smaller as the two women faced each other in the tense silence that Kate finally broke. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, as you can imagine. I’ve tried to understand your side of the story. I’ve gone through it over and over again, and no matter how I present it to myself, it always comes out that what you did was wrong. All of it was wrong.
“Both of you are to blame. I know that. But Paul died, and he’s left me with this pile of garbage to clean up. And I can’t do it. Not right now.”
“What would you have done if we had told you? What good would it have done?” Sheryl asked.
“No!” Kate’s hand slammed the desktop. “Don’t you dare rationalize this to me! I don’t know what I would have done with the truth, but I think I deserved to know it. Maybe we weren’t best friends back then, but we were like family. And what about the past few years? When I think about everything we’ve talked about, everything I’ve told you … my most private feelings. God! I must’ve given you a few good laughs.” Kate’s eyes stung as she heard the beginning of Sheryl’s denial. Her anger erupted along with the threatening tears. “You called me your friend, but I know you’ve always resented me for some reason. Don’t think I didn’t know the way you made fun of me behind my back when we were young. And you must’ve gotten quite a kick out of my so-called marriage!”
“Kate, please believe me. I am your friend!”
“Friends respect each other,” Kate said, ignoring the tears that steadily rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t think you’ve ever respected me.”
“Oh, God, Kate … you have no idea how much respect I had for you. I knew what you had to put up with being married to Paul, and you always held your head up. I was never going to tell Paul about Matt, but I found out what he was doing to you because you couldn’t have kids. I only told him to hurt him! I never meant to hurt anyone else.”
“But you did.” Kate’s eyes held Sheryl’s. “I can’t forgive this. Not yet. I don’t know if I ever want to trust you again. I wanted to be a part of your family so much. I used to love spending time with you. I always felt I could be myself with you. But right now I don’t want to see you for a very long time.”
“But what about Mike?”
Using her sleeve to wipe her face, Kate angrily said, “That’s the hardest part! I love Mike. And he loves you. I’ll never stand between you and Mike, but make no mistake whose side I’m on, Sheryl. Someone has seen fit to give me a second chance at this. It’s taken me a long time to take off my blinders and see the world around me. I know it’s not a perfect world, but finding Mike makes it pretty damned close. I fell in love with him a long time ago. I just didn’t understand that till now. But more than that, he’s always been my best friend. His respect means everything to me. Everything! And I will not let you take that away from me.” Kate’s words echoed off the walls, until only silence remained.
Sheryl knew there was nothing she could say in return. Not now.
Kate turned away from her and in a steady voice said, “Could you please send Matt in? I have something I want to give him before I go.”
“I—Kate. I wish you’d stay.”
“What for?” Kate asked.
“Because it’s Christmas …” Sheryl’s voice trailed off before she gathered her strength again. “It won’t be much of a Christmas if you leave. Mike won’t stay. You know that.”
“That’s up to him. He can make his own decisions.” Kate faced Sheryl. “Could you please get Matt?”
Sheryl’s mouth opened, then closed tightly. Kate felt the gust of wind Sheryl generated as she left the room. A few moments later Matt’s body filled the doorframe.
Sheryl waited till she heard her office door close before speaking. “She’s not staying, you know.”
Mike shrugged. “I don’t blame her.”
“What the hell could she possibly have for Matt?”
“He’ll tell you if he wants you to know.”
“Well, can’t you give me a hint?” Sheryl asked.
“Just leave it, Sherry.” Mike stood and said, “I’m hungry. You want me to carve the turkey?”
Sheryl looked at him thankfully. “You’re going to eat?”
“Sure,” he said as he opened the oven. “And not a moment too soon, I think.”
Later that night—long after Kate’s departure, after he and his mother and his uncle had eaten and opened their gifts, a few minutes after Mike left—Matt retreated to his bedroom. He lay on his bed, the wallet with Matt’s baby picture hidden away in it on his chest. A calm descended over Matt so profound that he could feel every muscle—every sinew and tendon—in his body let go.
Kate’s words as she gave him the wallet indelibly imprinted themselves on his brain, and now they were all he heard. All he saw as he closed his eyes.
“He did care. He cared enough to die for what was in this wallet. I’m giving it to you so you’ll always remember that no matter what else he did, he went back for you, Matt.”
“Thank you,” Matt whispered to Paul. But in reality he was speaking to everyone he loved.
CHAPTER
FIFTY-THREE
The door slammed, shaking the house. His heavy, running footsteps thundered down the hallway and up the stairs. He shook off his jacket as he ran and let it fall to the floor. Mike shoved open the bedroom door. His eyes immediately found her in the bed and he went to her. Pinning her between his arms, he brought his mouth down on hers. He was like a starved man. Nothing else mattered but the nourishment her body gave him.
Drawing a deep breath, he said, “I couldn’t think of anything else but you the whole night.”
“I’m here,” she answered.
“Thank God,” he responded before pulling the quilt down and burying his face in the silky fabric that covered her soft belly.
He couldn’t remember ever being this hungry for anything in his life. Kneeling beside the bed, his hands coaxed her hips to the edge of the mattress. He pushed her gown up and lifted first one leg, and then her other over his shoulders. Her dusky eyes had become darker with anticipation, and his own locked with hers, as he lowered his head to taste her for the first time.
Mike felt her tense as his tongue circled her. She moaned at the intensity of feeling he brought, and she murmured, “Not there … not yet.” His lips closed around the flesh of her inner thigh. And then he was lapping at her, his warm tongue meeting her own heat, and she relaxed, opening herself to him. Her juices bathed his lips, his chin. The scent of musk e
ngulfed him and he sank into her, receiving all she had to give. Sucking, swallowing, he was gluttony itself, while she writhed underneath him.
Kate clutched at her nightgown, tugging it higher. Blindly grasping at his hand, she placed it on her breast. When his thumb dragged across her nipple, she arched up, wanting more. She groaned when he withdrew his tongue. Gasped, when she felt his fingers enter her. Cried out, when he suckled her swollen clitoris.
She came hard, every muscle in her body quivering with sensation. Before she could come down, he was undoing his zipper—freeing himself—with one hand, as he stood and lifted her to him. He plunged inside her, driving in deep.
Kate watched through eyes at half-mast. She saw his jaw clench, his eyes close tightly, his head fall back. Seeing him in the throes of his passion brought her to the edge once more. Her hands covered his and she begged him to go harder. The second wave of orgasm enveloped her and she repeated his name. When his own relief came, and she could actually feel his hot semen spurt into her, she reached for him, sobbing the words “I love you …” over and over again.
He let her hold him. His disbelief that making love could feel like this closed his throat. Before he could stop himself, he was crying and Kate was smoothing his perspiration-soaked hair from his forehead.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” she murmured through her own tears.
He pulled away from her and took her face in his hands, kissing every feature. When he was able to speak coherently, he whispered, “It’s been a long time coming, Katie. And I knew it could be like this …” Her eyes smiled at him. “God, I love you so much.” His voice dropped lower. “So much …”
“Take off your clothes, Mike. I want to feel your skin next to mine.”
He didn’t notice Julia’s lamp until he went to turn it off an hour later. His hand stopped in midair. He looked down at Kate, already well on her way to sleep. Everything and everyone seemed to be in the right place, and he told her that.
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