by Anne Herries
table beside her, she reached for the book of poems lying there. However, her eyelids felt heavy
and she lay back, closing them as the odd lethargy claimed her. Perhaps it would do no harm to
sleep for a moment or two.
Jack paused on the threshold as he saw Olivia sleeping. She looked so lovely, so vulnerable—and
he might have lost her! Had Brutus not been there when she needed help, she would undoubtedly
have been raped and would perhaps be dead or dying even now.
He could not bear to lose her! God, forgive him but he loved her too much to give her up. She was
more precious to him than his own life. Without her he would have no reason for living.
She stirred as he moved towards her, and then her eyes opened and she smiled. 'Jack,' she said,
holding out her arms to him. 'I was dreaming of you and you have come to me.'
'Olivia,' he murmured huskily. 'Olivia—I adore you. You are so lovely, so far above me...'
'Why so, my lord?' she asked, her eyes glowing as she gazed up at him. She stood up, moving
towards him, her lips soft with invitation. 'I am only a woman, a woman who loves her husband
and would be a true wife to him.'
'Olivia...' Jack's voice broke. He could not move or speak. His resistance seemed to have melted
like snow in the sun, and he forgot all the promises he had made to himself to keep a distance
between them. 'My lovely, lovely woman.'
In another moment she was in his arms. He gazed down at her as a man dying of thirst might gaze
at a spring of cool water, and then his mouth came down to take possession of hers. The kiss
seemed to go on and on, their hunger for each other overtaking all other considerations. With a
groan of resignation, Jack swept her up and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down on the
bed, resting one knee upon it to gaze down at her.
'I cannot hold back any longer,' he muttered hoarsely. 'I am damned for what I do, but I love you
too much. Forgive me, Olivia.'
'Do not talk of forgiveness,' she said, her arms going up to stroke his cheek lovingly. 'I want this as
much as you, Jack. No matter what causes you such torture, we shall face it together. I love you
and I always shall. Believe me, we were meant to be one...'
Jack could not have left her now if he died for it. He bent to kiss her again, flicking at her with his
tongue, teasing her, savouring the sweetness of her mouth. She tasted of honey and wine, and he
felt as if she intoxicated him, making him forget everything but her sweetness and his need for her.
Somehow they divested themselves of their clothing, gown and breeches abandoned to lie
carelessly side by side on the floor. Impatiently, they reached for each other, needing, wanting to
be one.
For Olivia, Jack's kisses and caresses were all her dreams come true; she surrendered her whole
self to him, giving herself up to the pleasure his loving was revealing to her. This was what she
had longed for night after night in her lonely bed; this was her heart's desire.
She arched her back as his kisses traced their way down her navel, quivering with sensual delight
as for a moment Jack rested his face against the softness of her feminine hair. He stroked her
thighs, his lips kissing and tasting every part of her, even her ankles and her feet.
'My angel,' he murmured. 'I knew you would be thus. I have thought of you every minute of every
night that I have lain apart from you. I adore you, Olivia. I shall always cherish and protect you.'
Olivia clung to him, her hands moving over the hard but silken contours of his shoulders. Oh, how
she loved this man! How she longed to be his, joined as of one flesh. He had brought her to fever
pitch with his lips and his gentle but firm stroking, so that when at last he entered her, her cry was
more of pleasure than of pain.
That first slight pain was soon forgotten as their bodies strove to match each other's, meeting in a
surge of such delight that Olivia felt as if she were fainting, falling into the pleasure. Jack cried
out, and then at last they were both still, holding each other as though they would never be torn
apart.
They lay for some time entwined as one, then Olivia turned to her husband who was at last truly
hers, and reached up to touch his face with her fingertips.
'And so, my lord,' she whispered. 'We are one now. Will you not tell me why you held back so
long?'
'Later,' he said and rolled away from her. As she lay watching, he pulled on his breeches and shirt
and gathered up his remaining garments. 'I promise I shall tell you, Olivia—this evening, after
dinner.'
'As you wish,' she said, half wishing she had not spoken as she saw the shadows come back to his
face. 'You have not told me about Brutus—was he much harmed?'
'He received a knife wound in the shoulder which has bled considerably,' Jack said, frowning. 'It
will heal, I think. I have told my head groom to tend him as if he were my best thoroughbred
stallion. Have faith, Olivia. We shall do our best for your wretched dog.'
'I know you will,' she said and smiled at him. She did not ask about the gypsy who had attacked
her. There were some things it was wiser for a woman not to know. 'I love you, Jack. Do not
regret what has happened here, for I shall not.'
'You may change your mind when you know all,' Jack said. 'But it is done now and we may not go
back if we would.'
Olivia watched as he went from the room. A chill ran through her, and she wondered what could
be so terrible that it had brought such a look to Jack's eyes.
She had only to be patient for a while longer. Olivia hugged the memory of Jack's passionate
loving to her as she rose and washed before choosing a gown for the evening. Her maid had not
come at the usual time, but perhaps she had guessed that Lord and Lady Stanhope were together?
Olivia blushed as she realised this must be so. The servants always knew everything!
She stood in her shift and rang the bell for Rosie.
She could not manage to fasten her evening-gown alone, and she needed help to dress her hair.
She tried not to blush, avoiding the girl's knowing look as she came in answer to the summons.
'I waited for you to ring, milady,' Rosie said. 'I hope I did right?'
'Yes, quite right,' Olivia replied with dignity. 'My lord was with me—we had something to
discuss.'
'Yes, milady.'
Olivia saw the girl's smirk. No doubt it would soon be common knowledge below stairs that my
Lord and Lady Stanhope had been making love before dinner!
'I have decided I shall wear my hair loose this evening,' Olivia said as Rosie finished fastening
her gown at the back. 'You may go now, thank you.'
'Yes, milady.' Rosie bobbed a curtsey as the door to the dressing-room opened and Jack entered.
'Thank you, milady.' She ran away giggling after throwing a sly look at her master.
'I suppose she was listening at the keyhole,' Jack said, lips twisting wryly. 'You would not be able
to seek an annulment now, Olivia.'
'What matter, since I do not wish for it?'
'I brought you this,' Jack said, presenting her with velvet box. 'It was meant as a trinket for our
wedding night...'
Olivia took the box and opened it, giving a cry of pleasure as she saw the diamond necklace
inside. She turned and kissed him on the cheek, trying not to notice as he half flinched away from
/>
her touch.
'Thank you, Jack,' she said and smiled. 'Will you fasten them for me, please?'
'Yes, of course.'
He took the necklace and placed it about her throat, giving her an odd half smile. 'Diamonds
become you very well, my lady.'
'Yes, I think so,' Olivia said and touched the pendant, which was shaped like a heart. 'The stones
are very fine, Jack. I shall have occasion to wear them when our guests visit next weekend.'
'You sent the invitations then?'
'Yes,' she replied. 'Of course not everyone may be able to come. But I think we can count on Lady
Burton—and I invited your friend Viscount Gransden. Lord and Lady Melford as well. They live
only a few miles away, but too far to come simply for dinner so I asked them to stay for the
weekend. Sir Ralph Peterson and his daughter Sarah, whom I knew in London, are at home in the
country and but two miles from us. I have however offered them the chance to stay the weekend if
they so wish.'
'As I said earlier, you are mistress here. You must do just as you wish, Olivia.'
Jack was being meticulously polite, but she sensed he was holding back from her once more. It
seemed to Olivia that his manner was subdued, that he was not quite able to meet her eyes. Why?
She sensed that he was feeling a sense of shame. Surely not! Why should he? There was no shame
in consummating their marriage, especially when they were so much in love.
'Shall we go down, dearest?' she asked, slipping her arm through his and smiling up at him. 'We
do not want to keep Cook waiting—or goodness knows what they will be imagining below stairs.'
'They will say that I am so besotted by my wife that I would prefer to make love to her than eat
dinner,' Jack smiled and for a moment the shadows had gone. 'In thinking that, they would be right,
Olivia. However, it is not good manners to keep one's servants waiting.'
Olivia laughed as she saw the expression in his eyes. Whatever Jack was keeping from her, he
could no longer even attempt to hide his feelings for her. She squeezed his arm as they went out
into the hall.
Surely it could not be so very bad? Whatever had been hurting Jack all this time, they could face it
together.
'I shall not blame you if you hate me,' Jack said as he brought his story to an end. 'Had the
circumstance of our engagement been other than it was, I should naturally have asked you to
release me from my promise to marry you. However, I felt that you might gain more from the kind
of marriage I was still able to offer...but I was wrong. I should have told you the truth and let you
decide for yourself.'
Olivia was gripping her hands in her lap so tightly that her nails cut into the palms. Surely this was
a nightmare from which she would eventually awake? Jack's father a raving lunatic at his
death...the possibility that the sickness was hereditary? It could not be true. It was too terrible!
Too horrible to contemplate.
Yet she knew that Jack had spoken every word from his heart. It had hurt him to speak the truth, a
truth that so clearly explained the reasons for his reluctance to come to her bed.
She swallowed hard, her throat dry and painful. 'If we have a child...' Her eyes were dark with
horror as she gazed up at him, knowing that she might already be carrying his seed in her womb. 'It
would be all right...wouldn't it, Jack?'
'I cannot lie to you,' Jack said hoarsely. 'It has been my fear that this dread sickness may be carried
in my blood. I have written to the Earl of Heggan asking him to tell me what he knows, but he has
not yet replied.'
'And if...' She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue.
'If it is true, there must never be a child,' Jack said harshly. His face was grey with anguish. 'What
happened this afternoon was wrong, Olivia.'
'How can you say that?' she cried, leaping to her feet and moving towards him. 'What you have
told me makes no difference to our love. I am still your wife, Jack. I love you...'
'And I love you,' he said, but stepped back from her, his eyes still intent on her face. 'But you must
understand that if...if you can bear me near you knowing this...we must never give way to our
feelings in the same way. We must be vigilant. You can never bear my child, Olivia.'
'Never have your child...' Olivia stifled a sob, but not before he had heard it and seen the grief his
words had caused her.
'Forgive me,' he said. 'I should never have married you. Perhaps it is not too late...an annulment is
out of the question, of course. I will give you cause for divorce. There will be scandal, but you
could go abroad, Olivia. My fortune is at your...'
She moved towards him swiftly, pressing her fingers to his mouth to stop the words, which were
breaking her heart. 'Do not say it,' she cried. 'I beg you not to consider divorce. I do not wish to
leave you, nor shall I marry again. No other man could ever take your place in my heart.''
'Then I have ruined your life,' Jack said. 'I wish I could turn back the clock, my darling, but it is
too late.'
'Do not withdraw from me,' Olivia begged. 'This is a cruel blow for us both, but we must struggle
to accept it. Perhaps the Earl will write soon and all your fears will have been for nothing.'
'I would give a fortune if that were so,' Jack said. 'I have been weak and now my selfishness has
destroyed you—the woman I love more than life itself.'
'Hush, my love,' Olivia said softly. 'You speak foolishly. You have not destroyed me—or
damaged my love for you. I own that it will grieve me if we can never have a child, but if that is
the price we must pay to be together, I shall pay it and gladly.'
'You would not turn from me?' Jack asked. 'I have been afraid to see horror and disgust in your
eyes, Olivia. Can you truly say that this has not changed your feelings even a little?'
Olivia gazed up at him. It would be a lie to say her feelings had not changed; she thought they had
become stronger, perhaps more mature.
'Jack, I...' she paused, not knowing quite how to say what was in her heart. It was a brief moment
of hesitation but it was too much for Jack. He flinched as though she had struck him, then turned
and strode away from her. 'Jack! Jack, come back. I have not changed. I love you as much and
more.'
He turned to look at her from the doorway. 'You are brave, Olivia,' he said. 'I know that well, but I
can see the doubts in your eyes. I beg your pardon for my weakness this afternoon. If I can find a
way to make reparation, I shall.'
'Please do not leave me,' she cried. 'Please do not go, Jack.'
Tears gathered in her eyes as the door closed behind him. Why had she hesitated even for that
brief second of time? She loved him, needed him—did not believe for one moment that he himself
was afflicted with his father's madness.
Yet, there was a small voice inside her that asked what might happen in the years to come. Jack
had seen that in her eyes even though she was not truly aware of the thought.
How that must have hurt him! Olivia wished that she had been able to give him the reassurance
that he needed so badly. She did love him; she loved him so much that she did not know what she
would do with her life if Jack left her. Yet she had felt a moment of fear for the unknown future.
'Please do not go,' she whispered to the empty room. 'Ple
ase do not leave me, my darling Jack. If
you do, I would rather die than live without you.'
Chapter Ten
Olivia's guests had begun to arrive. She had already welcomed Lord and Lady Melford, and they
were being shown up to their bedchamber. She was this very moment at her desk in the little
parlour, glancing through a letter she had just received from Beatrice. It appeared that there was
some interesting news from Abbot Giles concerning the Earl of Yardley and Steepwood
Abbey...but she could hear voices in the hall. More guests were arriving. She put the letter aside
for later and rose to her feet, smiling a greeting as Viscount Gransden and Lady Burton were
shown into the room one after the other.
'Lady Stanhope...' Leander Gransden came forward to take the hand she proffered. He raised it to
his lips gallantly. 'It is delightful to meet you again.'
'I am pleased to welcome you to Briarwood.' She glanced at Lady Burton, who was still standing
uncertainly just inside the door. 'I am not sure whether you know my aunt, sir? Lady Burton—Lord
Gransden.'
'I believe we may have met on a previous occasion,' the Viscount said, glancing at Lady Burton.
He bowed over her hand but did not kiss it. 'But I am happy to renew our acquaintance, ma'am.'
His manners were perfect, his smile devastatingly charming, but Olivia suddenly felt that she had
been unwise to invite him. She had done so thinking him one of Jack's closest friends, but there
was something in the way he had kissed her hand that made her a little wary of him. At her
wedding he had seemed very pleasant, but now she thought he might be a rake. She had met others
of his ilk and learned to be wary of them.
'I shall have Jenkins take you up, Lord Gransden,' she said. 'I must apologise for Jack. He was
to...ah, here he is at last,' she said, arid smiled at her husband. 'I had almost given you up, my
lord.'
'Forgive me, I was delayed. Gransden, my apologies.' Jack smiled at Lady Burton. 'You will
excuse us, ma'am? We shall have the opportunity to talk later. For now I am sure you would like to
be private with Olivia.'
'You are very kind, sir.'
Jack turned back to the Viscount. 'Come to the library and take a glass of Madeira with me,
Gransden.'
