by Quil Carter
To know that I had fucked up my life enough for Silas to not want me anymore, stung, and it made me hate myself even more. Silas didn’t want someone broken, even if he was the one who broke it.
Anyway, he’d been seeing Perish a lot in his laboratory in Gosselin. For all I knew it was because there was some breakthrough and the Sky clone would be coming soon.
That made me feel all the more depressed. My eight-year-old self would be furious at me for the state I’d let myself fall into. Well, he could get in line because I was just a fucking disappointment to everyone.
I stewed in my own misery, crossing my arms over my chest and staring off into space. I caught a glimpse of Silas several times and people spotted some other elites I knew of, and began counting down the minutes until I could go home.
Even these people’s energies were disruptive and annoying. I could feel my energy draining away. I wasn’t even moving and I felt tired.
Then the door beside me opened, so fast I jumped. The red-haired teenager stalked out, looking even more pissed off than before, and carried with him the scent of cigarette smoke and anger.
I waited for the door to close but the cold air kept coming in. I looked behind me, annoyed at this, and jumped in my seat when I saw the black-haired man smirking at me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
“Want to have a smoke with me?” the man asked. He winked at me after he said this which made my face go hot.
“No, I don’t smoke,” I said politely. I turned away from him and continued looking out at the crowds of people mingling around the hall. They were forming small clusters, and every once in a while, one of those clusters would break out into stuffy elite laughter. I’d counted ten–
“Want to come out anyway? You don’t seem like you’re having the best of times.”
The heat that was currently roasting my face spread to my ears then to my neck. I fried there on the spot like I was an egg in a pan, and wished myself to be anywhere else but here. I didn’t know I could hate being here any more than I was now, but here it was.
“Come on.” I stiffened up when I felt his hand shake my shoulder. “Come onnn!”
My lips pursed tight. I was about to tell him, more forcefully, that I would not, when I glanced up and saw the red-haired man glaring poison into my face from the other corner of the room. That man looked like he wanted to rip my skin right off of me. How dare he stare at me in such a way? With a snap of my fingers I could order him to Stadium.
But instead of telling Silas to arrange that man’s death, I stood up, and shocking myself with such a display, I smirked at the man glaring at me and turned around.
“A smoke would be okay,” I said with a smile.
What came over me? That wasn’t like me at all.
But it was also exciting and exhilarating. My heart was jumping all over the place and there were shockwaves that kept ripping up my spine like I was being hit with a Taser. I’d never felt something so… raw. A visceral reaction that I hadn’t planned on having, or prepared myself for. Usually I knew when to expect emotions. But now?
I think I liked this daring feeling.
With my own self trying to hide the tremble in my body, I walked outside with this guy I didn’t even know, and watched the door close behind us with a click.
It was just me and him now.
“So what’s your name?”
I looked up at him, shocked. When he saw the expression on my face however, he just laughed. “I know, you’re Elish. But that’s the polite thing to ask, right? All those social cues and lip service. You look sick of it. I can only imagine how much fake bullshit you have to deal with on a day to day basis.” He then smiled, and my heart skipped.
“Y-yeah, sometimes…” I said. I tried to compose myself, tell myself to stop acting so giddy and stupid, but even though my mind was telling me these things, my heart was devouring these sparks and jolts of electricity and begging me for more. “I… whenever I go out with King Silas, there’s a lot of that.”
I sounded like an idiot, an absolute idiot!
Ask him something!
“So, what’s your name?” I asked. I don’t believe I was supposed to know this man’s name. He looked clean-cut, an elite obviously from him just being at this party, and his clothing was high quality, his shoes shiny too.
I knew this because I was staring at our feet. I didn’t know where the hell else to look! He probably thought I was retarded by now. And he was going to tell all of his friends that Prince Elish was an absolute moron, and the rebels, or unloyal, would flock to Skyfall and attempt to take us over.
Well, that was a stretch.
But still!
“My name’s Todd,” he said. Todd looked me up and down, and the cigarette he was holding between his lips rose and flared as he took a drag. “Todd Monoghan. My mother’s Janet Monoghan, or General Ball Crusher as she’s known in the Legion.” He chuckled. “So I know how fun it is to have authoritarian parents.”
I tried to play it cool when he took the cigarette from his mouth and offered it to me. Silas smoked when he was stressed out and Perish chain-smoked like it was going out of style. Nero had been sneaking cigarettes but Silas hadn’t caught on yet. I shudder to think of what the king would do to me if… if…
That daring feeling inside of me ignited again, as if each action this man made deserved its own chemical reaction. Right underneath my skin was a science lab, and I was the monkey being experimented on. It was overwhelming, almost too much, but fuck if every cell inside of my body was screaming at me to do whatever Todd said. I… I wanted to impress him. I wanted him to think I was cool.
So I took the cigarette, and uttered a prayer to the universe that Todd wouldn’t see the tremble in my hands, then I put it to my mouth and gave him a shy smile. “Want to see something cool?” I asked. I’d been the first one to confirm that the alternating touch, an implant that Silas had installed in all of our codings, had actually proved successful. I hadn’t been doing it long, and so far, I was the only one out of the four who could do it.
Todd nodded. And when I asked for his pack of cigarettes I got a shifty, but curious, look.
I took out a cigarette, and further fuelled by these reactions inside of me, I brought the cigarette to his lips. Todd’s curious look deepened while he let me, and then he crossed his arms as my fingers trailed down the unlit smoke to the tip.
I pinched the tip of the cigarette and made my touch as hot as I could make it. The tip began to smoke, then with a flare of fire and a surprised inhale from Todd, a red ember appeared.
“Holy shit!” Todd exclaimed as he plucked the smoke from his lips and began to examine it. “That’s fucking grand. That’s a chimera thing, then? Silas can do that too, or the rumors said as such, but fucked if I thought it was a tall tale.” Todd’s eyes pinched as he smiled wide. His teeth were white but the bottoms were crooked. I found them endearing.
“Thanks,” I said shyly. I knew I was going red but hoped that the single outdoor light in front of us was enough to hide my glowing face. At least if called on it I could blame it on the crisp night air that was starting to break through my blazer and trousers. “I’m the only one who can do it out of the four of us.”
“So you’re the smartest?” Todd asked coyly. He dashed his new cigarette then motioned to the one I was holding. I hadn’t taken a drag from it yet. I knew how, I’d watched Silas enough, plus they were always doing it on the television. It couldn’t be that hard.
“I – I am. I’m an intelligence chimera,” I said. I dashed my cigarette too and brought it up to my lips.
But when I tried to inhale, the noxious-smelling smoke dove down to my lungs and burned my throat. I immediately began coughing and was soon in a full-blown coughing fit. The humiliation for such a failure was swift and stinging – Todd began laughing at me, rather hard.
“I knew it was your first time,” Todd laughed. “It’s probably your first time for a lot of things. I remember whe
n I was twelve.”
I massaged my throat, tempted to throw the stupid cigarette away. I couldn’t believe I’d fucked that up. How hard was it to fucking inhale smoke? No one else coughed when they smoked cigarettes. Why the hell did such an injustice have to happen to me?
Todd reached into his blazer and handed me a flask. “This’ll help.”
I stared at it. If the sengil who’d offered me that glass of wine got such a verbal beat down from Silas I shudder to think of what would happen to the young man offering smokes and hard liquor.
But who cares what Silas fucking thinks. I took the flask from him without a word and took a shot, daring my throat to reject it too and launch me into another coughing fit.
Oh fuck did that ever burn! My eyes watered but I held it down and swallowed it as fast as I could. I wiped my mouth and shuddered, then watched flatly as Todd took a shot, not a single flinch on his face.
“You seem like a pro. How old are you?” I asked.
“Fifteen,” Todd said. He tucked the flask back into his pocket and took another drag. “Too old to be being dragged to such stuffy parties, but well… ball crusher mom and all. You’re not really around much, what–”
The door began to open. My body stiffened to a board as I anticipated it being Silas, but it was only that other man, the red-haired one, and he didn’t look happy at all.
“That didn’t take you long,” he said acidically. He turned to me then and his eyes flashed. “He’s only speaking with you to make me jealous. Congratulations being a pawn, Prince.”
I stood there stunned. Todd said something back to him, ice in his tone, but I was too shocked that some dirt-eating peasant was talking to me in such a way. No one had ever talked to me like that, and my insides burned with rage over such a display of disrespect.
“You’re not just hanging–”
“Wait,” I cut off the man in the doorway and held up a hand. “Back up a bit. What did you just fucking say to me?”
The man’s gaze turned back to me. But there was no glaring look on his face this time, I saw a brief flash of fear, but that flash might as well have been an injection of gasoline, because oh did it fan this burning feeling inside of my chest.
There were so many emotions coming over me in such a short span of time. It was as if some monster inside had been awakened and it was breathing life into feelings, emotions, sensations that had been lying dormant because of my quiet lifestyle. Yes, something was shaking loose, and it was exhilarating.
“I… I… was just explaining that he was only using you,” the man stammered. He was still holding the door open with a well-polished black dress shoe, and the expression on his face told me that he was debating running through that door to escape this.
“Do I look like I care what the fuck your theories are, arian?” I asked curtly, acid dissolving my words as they fell out of my mouth. My body was cold with adrenaline and I felt dizzy, but none of this I’d let show on my face.
“N-no,” the man said, his words still skipping and jolting like he was a CD player with a scratched disk. “My apologies, Prince Elish. I was broken up with tonight, my emotions got–”
“I really don’t give a shit what happened to you,” I said back. “Get out of my sight and remember your fucking place.”
And with that, and pretty quickly too I might add, the man disappeared and the door closed behind him.
Todd put a hand over his mouth, but his eyes were squinting so I knew he was holding back a smile. “Did that seriously just happen?” He grinned which made me have to hide my own smile with my hand.
But to my surprise, he drew his hand up and pulled mine down from my face. “Don’t hide that smile,” he said. “You have a nice one. A lot of people don’t.”
I didn’t know what to say to that; luckily Todd was the talkative type and didn’t seem to mind. “That’s Mario… he’s a clingy, whiny, self-serving asshole and I’ve had enough of him. I hate people like that.”
Mental note: Don’t be clingy, whiney, or self-serving… and don’t be an asshole either.
“He almost got himself killed,” I said before I could stop myself. I didn’t want him to think I was a psycho or something. Or did I? Didn’t I want to be cool? I was a prince; I should already be cool.
But I wasn’t – and I knew it. At least I could use my status to make him think I was though. Eventually he should, right? This was just the first night… I had a long time for him to see that I was a cool person.
Fuck, I need to stop overthinking everything.
“Well, I should probably get going…”
What!? My heart fell. I didn’t want him to go. He didn’t know anything about me yet. To him, I’m the idiot twelve-year-old. Well, almost thirteen. I mean… he had to go now?
“You’re leaving me with the stuffy losers?” I said. I leaned against the exterior of the mansion in a casual manner and took a, much slower, inhale of the cigarette that he’d given me previously.
Todd chuckled and slid his hand over his head, slicking back his black hair. He sure did have a nice smile…
“Sorry, I know, I say I hate assholes and here I am leaving you with the suits. I just don’t really want to be here with Mario lingering.”
“I can get rid of him!” I said. I turned and grabbed the door knob, not a plan inside of my head as to how I was going to get rid of Mario, but I was smart, I’d think of something.
Todd grabbed my shoulder with a laughing “No!” and pulled me back. “You’re so cute. Fuck, if you were a few years older.”
Then Todd leaned in and kissed the corner of my lips, his scratchy facial hair prickling my own soft skin. “I’ll see you around, Prince Elish. Too bad you chimeras are homeschooled…”
I turned around and saw Todd begin to walk in the shadows, the tall guarded wall of the Cornerstone mansion in the distance, silver from the moonlight.
“Bye…” I said quietly. I stood there and watched him go, and even when I could no longer see him, I stood there and watched the last place I’d seen him.
Then I rubbed the corner of my lips, and realized that my heart was absolutely pounding.
I… I think I liked that man. Or at least… kind of fond of him.
Really fond of him.
Eventually, I turned and walked back into the dark, electric atmosphere of the party. I put my hands into my pockets and leaned against the wall, my mind drowning in these new emotions.
I stayed in that dark corner and relived each and every moment of my encounter with Todd. Every word he spoke, every laugh, smile, smirk… I replayed them over and over until Silas eventually got me and told me we could return home.
And on the way home to Alegria, Silas noticed that something was different with me. I caught my master giving me a strange look, and when I looked back to him, he cocked an eyebrow.
Unable to ignore those green eyes mentally picking me apart, I looked back and flushed under his inquisitive gaze. Silas said nothing though, and I offered no windows into the emotional whirlwind that was going on just below the surface.
There was just no getting around it… I had to see him again. I had to get that feeling back, that overwhelming rush of excitement, that chemistry between us… no way would I let this be a one-time thing. How could I?
So with that decision made inside of me, on the way home from the party, I made another one…
I was enrolling in school.
CHAPTER 12
“School?” Silas’s emerald eyes lifted from his plate of food and stared at me like I’d just told him I had a girlfriend. “You… want to enroll in school? Skyland High? H-high school? Public? Public high school?” It was like I was watching him verbally fall down the stairs, King Silas kept tripping over his words and the longer he spoke, the higher his tone got.
I nodded and glanced around at my other siblings. Their looks matched the one that Silas was giving me, everyone thought that I’d gone insane with this request of my master. Nero’s eyes were w
ide and his head cocked to the side like a dog hearing a strange noise, Ellis looked bewildered, her forkful of caesar salad halfway to her mouth, and Garrett… Garrett’s expression was a lot like Silas’s. My entire family thought that I’d lost my mind, and perhaps I had.
“I have a lot of reasons why…” I took out my leather-bound notebook and turned to the page that my list was on. I’d spent a lot of time last night compiling this list. I’d even numbered my choices and had a ‘cons’ section as well, though I didn’t include it. “I made a list last night.” My three siblings snorted at this and exchanged quips, since apparently it was a very me thing to do, making a list on the subject. “May I read them?”
Silas leaned back in his chair, his eyes not leaving my face. He looked sceptical, unbelieving that this was something that I wanted to do. I honestly didn’t expect anything less from him however, which is why I made the list.
“What happened at that party on Friday?”
I looked up from my list and saw that those glaring eyes had narrowed suspiciously. And when my heartbeat jumping confirmed that something had indeed happened, Silas’s lips pursed. “Well?”
“My – my list…” I stammered. Now it was time for me to verbally tumble down those stairs. I looked down at my list and swallowed hard.
“What happened at that party, Elish Sebastian?” Silas asked a second time. There was a thin layer of gasoline on those words, and I knew that I had to choose my next words carefully, because my tongue was loaded in accelerant.
I had to act quickly. But as I wracked my brains to try and come up with a reason that would please him and his suspicions, I found an explanation already jumping to my lips. One that not only wasn’t a lie, but stirred up a whole hive of wasps inside of my stomach.
My own lips pursed.
“Elish Sebastian De-”
“Because maybe I’m tired of being a fucking disappointment?” I suddenly snapped. I slammed the book that contained my list down beside my own hamburger and potato fries. “Maybe I was fucking miserable and scared there and I hated myself for feeling that way. And if I’m still going to be your second-in-command… I have to learn how to be around people.” I stood up, pissed off and upset. “I’d think you would be supportive of me wanting to improve myself but apparently to you–”
