by Quil Carter
“I envy you, Master,” Finn said. I was amused when he followed by a step behind me, sengil protocol. But I wanted to actually speak to him, not speak to the air, so I motioned to my side and got another shocked and awed look for that. “You look like an adult, like a twenty-year-old. And I must… can I speak freely?”
“You may.”
“Your eyes are stunningly beautiful.”
This boy… he was like a small curly blond Julian except he put Julian’s overindulgent gushing to shame.
Just thinking of Julian made me smile on the inside. I wouldn’t in front of the sengil, I had appearances to keep up with, but he was doing all the right things to win my approval without even realizing it.
“The purple… you’re the most unique man in the entire world. Do you realize that, Master Elish? No one else has purple eyes, Nero and Ellis have that royal blue, but they’re nothing compared to yours. Oh, I can’t wait to move into Alegria! Silas is so kind, such a caring king. I had been counting down the days until my fifteenth birthday and now I’m just watching that gate waiting for a black car to come and collect me.” Finn beamed at me, the excitement radiating off of him like it was an organic force. “The best day of my life was when Silas hand-selected me to be your sengil.”
This gave me pause. “Silas hand-selected you?” This boy was quiet and kept to himself, he was clean and meek, submissive and polite…
Whereas Nero’s sengil was rough around the edges, probably loud and energetic, with a bullying nature. No doubt Garrett’s would suit his own personality and Silas’s as well.
I would’ve thought that Silas would deliberately put me with someone I couldn’t stand just to be an asshole. It would be in his nature and I knew he hated me as much as I hated him. Pairing me with Finn was… oddly thoughtful of him. It didn’t make sense for him to be this considerate.
“Yes, he did,” Finn said. “He came to Edgeview when I was only six and chose thirty of us boys from five to seven. He’d come once a year and dismiss the sengils who he decided weren’t up to par, and by the time we were all thirteen, only the five of us remained. For a while, I was in competition with another boy; he was the last to be dismissed, only last year. He hated me, that one, he really wanted to be your sengil.”
He dashed ahead and opened the door to the courtyard for me. I nodded at him and walked through. “Was Silas kind to you four?”
“Oh, yes! When I was little he’d bring us donuts, and we got presents for our birthday every year and Skyday as well. I got a Game Boy from him this year, which was rather interesting since they’re not permitted by the Headmaster. I’m allowed to play it on the weekends.”
This boy was strange.
He was… not only bouncing off of the walls excited to move into Alegria but…
Inside my mind darkened. He also had some twisted view that Silas was a nice person. No one was more ill-prepared to receive such a rude awakening.
The April sun shone down on us as we entered the courtyard, green, freshly mowed grass squishing underneath our boots and flowers in black soil edging a stone walkway that looked to wrap around the grounds. “You’re my sengil, so you will understand that Silas isn’t always happy,” I said to him sternly. “Especially not with me. You’ll be wary of him and on your best behaviour. He’s easily provoked.”
Finn looked shocked by this. “He – he is one to be wary of? But he’s so kind, Master–”
“Silas is not kind,” I said harshly. Finn cowered and his blue eyes drowned in tears.
Tears? This boy wasn’t a sengil, he was a calf Silas had been fattening for slaughter. “You are to watch yourself around him, and if you feel threatened you’ll come to me. You will avoid all instances where you two will be alone and if you have to sell out the other three to remain safe, you will do so. Understand me, Finneus?”
Finn just stared at me for a moment, an expression of terror on his face like he was watching a slasher film, not staring at me. It seemed for a moment that the boy had been thrown into fear-induced catatonia, until his eyes released my own and they deflected downwards. “Y-yes, Master Elish,” he said, a mouse’s squeak louder than his voice.
I let out a breath. Defying my own personality, I showed a tenderness towards this frightened bird and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know it seems harsh now, but you’ll understand when you come to Alegria. Everything I instruct of you, will be for your own safety. Do you understand?”
Curiously, Finn’s shoulders loosened under my touch. He nodded at me, and wiped his eyes with my handkerchief. “I understand, Master,” he said, his hand shaking as he tried to clean himself up. I was worried that this boy would have a heart attack once he arrived. Like those rabbits or small birds who seem to get scared to death when taken by surprise by a predator.
I would watch out for him. The boy would soon be under my care, and with that came responsibility.
This hit me rather suddenly, as strange as it sounds. As I walked side by side with this boy I felt a monumental amount of responsibility towards him. This kind boy would be tossed unceremoniously into the lions’ den and I was going to have to guard him or else the monsters I lived with would devour him whole.
I… didn’t want him to turn out like me.
“Master Elish?”
I realized to my embarrassment that I’d stopped walking. I was instead staring at the grassy ground with a tense look on my face, the gravity of this situation temporarily stalling the ebb and flow of my thoughts.
My eyes focused and my head turned to the boy.
He was now holding a purple violet, a patch of them behind him next to a Japanese maple.
Finn held it out to me. “I planted these last spring. I matched your eye colour from a photo. If it was alright with you, I was going to put one in a pot to take with me. We can put them on your balcony.”
What a sweet, naïve boy this one was. The same age as me yet he was as delicate as the flower I was taking from him.
Then it hit me.
As I stared down at this flower, the boy carrying on about other flowers he’d planted, I realized that Silas had indeed pulled another fast one on me. The king had done it again, and in such a sly and sneaky way it had almost slipped past me.
He was giving me someone I would need to protect. A frail, innocent boy who would break into a thousand pieces the first time he was struck, who would dissolve into anxiety at the first fight between my family.
Silas hadn’t given me a sengil to perfectly match my personality… he’d given me his newest weapon against me.
I should’ve known there was a reason for this, there is always a method to his madness. And in this situation, Silas’s madness had been masqueraded as kindness.
I should’ve known better.
“Thank you, Finn,” I said quietly as I looked down at that flower.
“No, Master,” Finn said timidly, blush coming to his cheeks. “Thank you… for coming to visit me today. You’re exactly how I expected.”
And here I step into another game…
Another game by this Mad King.
CHAPTER 33
Julian looked just beautiful this warm April night. His hair was falling in dark bangs over his blue eyes, and smelled of hair products and soap, and he’d freshly shaven around the patch of facial hair on his chin, making him look like a movie star.
But what always caught my eye with this man was that smile, the one that made him light up more brilliant than the sun we’d never seen together. That smile that always made me pause just a second longer than I’d seem appropriate for myself, the one that I wished to bottle, so I could save it for times where I dearly needed it.
He was dressed nicely tonight as well: A clean dress shirt that was a midnight blue, and new black pants belted in the middle with creases running down both legs. Even his shoes hadn’t been forgotten, since he couldn’t afford proper dress shoes he’d instead settled for new laces in his old sneakers; laces so white they unfortunately made h
is shoes look all the rattier. It was, as I have said over and over about this boy who was occupying more of my mind each day… endearing.
“I don’t have something on my face, do I?” Julian’s smile faded and was replaced by a look of concern. He turned from the door way, and went to find himself a mirror.
I smiled at this. “I was admiring how you looked tonight… that was all.”
Julian stopped, and when he turned around I saw a look of love deep in his eyes. He started walking towards me, not a word said, then once he was in front of me he grabbed my face and joined his lips with mine.
I’d missed those lips. It had been two days since I had felt them against mine. My duties had me spending the night at the Skytech laboratory, and though I could easily sneak out as I’d been doing in Alegria, Perish was called away which left me the sole guardian of the twins. I slept on cot beside Apollo and Artemis, now both full term and crowded inside of their single steel mother.
Since I didn’t want to raise suspicion by pawning off my scientific duties, I’d instead left a note in Julian’s apartment, vacant during the day, to explain my absence. After that, it was straight to Perish’s laboratory where I assumed my role as assistant scientist and there I’d been for the last forty-eight hours.
It seemed like my absence was missed too. Julian was dressed as if he was attending a banquet, and this kiss I was intertwined in was telling me that he’d missed me as much as I’d missed him.
Julian broke the kiss, and with a smirking smile, he led me into the living room.
But as the light hit him, I frowned. “You have bruising on your neck…” I said slowly. I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, then brushed his dark hair from the nape. There was a dark patch below his ear. And when I turned him around, I realized that bruising was below his chin and on his jaw as well.
The anger was immediate. “Who did this to you?” I demanded. “Where is that from?”
Julian jerked his head away from me, he looked flustered. “Calm down. It’s nothing. You know I’ve had problems with my dad…”
I saw red, the anger was like sandpaper to my skin, rubbing it raw and bleeding. “How often does he do this?” I brought him to the living room, and when we sat down, I made my touch cool and laid it on a particularly dark patch. It looked to still be a bit swollen.
Julian sighed, deflecting his gaze like the last thing he wanted to do was tell me anything more. “I… usually am here at night when he gets drunk. I’ve been home the past two days and… I guess he was just tired of having me around.”
I paused and stared at him, guilt covering me from head to toe. It was my fault this happened to him; I’d had to do my duties in the laboratory and was unable to see him. This was my doing that he was hurt.
“I’m – I’m sorry,” I said. I felt absolutely gutted over this. I was swearing up and down to not let anything bad happen to my new sengil, and here I was unable to even keep my friend safe. “You don’t need to go back there anymore.”
Julian chuckled dryly. He put his hand on mine and smiled, although it was thin and just as arid as his laugh. “I can’t run away from home, Elish. I still need to take care of my mom, and I’m still doing my homeschool so I don’t have any money.”
“I’ll give you money,” I said. “I can move you into Alegria. It’s been almost two years and I don’t think Silas has even clued in that Sacario’s been living there. He’s just… accepted him being around all the time. We can do the same for you.”
Julian shook his head. He rubbed my hand caringly. “All I need is you here beside me. When you’re here… nothing bad happens. When you’re here… you’re happy and so am I.” He leaned in and kissed me again. “My dad is just… sad. I still love him and I’m still needed at home.” When I frowned at him he made a clucking noise and kissed my nose. “I’m used to it… a few bruises won’t hurt me and it usually doesn’t get worse than that.”
“Usually?” I grumbled. Julian crawled into my arms and I held him to me. “I’ve been a passive victim my entire life because my abuser is the king. Yours is no better than the dirt on my shoe and has no right to hurt something that’s mine.”
Julian giggled at this. “I’m yours now, am I?”
“That’s right,” I said honestly. “You’re my property and I must protect you at all costs, or else it’ll reflect badly on me.”
My heart filled when Julian gave me a shining look, so coy and full of mischief. “You’ll defeat all my enemies, will you, Prince?”
“Indeed I will.” I nodded, weaving his dark hair between my fingers. “You’re…” I thought back to Finn, and realized the source of this change I was seeing, this need to protect those I saw as my friends, those I cared for… had been triggered by Julian.
Maybe instead of killing those I loved before Silas could take them away from me… I could stand up for myself and protect them from those who would cause them harm.
“You’re a surprising influence on me,” I finished.
Julian’s coy look became highlighted with flares of pride. “I’ve seen a lot of improvement, even if it hasn’t even been a week,” he said. “You smile sometimes and your whole aura is just calmer. You might even relax occasionally for ten, sometimes even fifteen minutes.” I gave him a bristled look and he laughed. “You’re always so wound up and tense. Always looking for the next bad thing to happen.”
“It’s always just a matter of time,” I said darkly. “Even now. Silas is gone, I haven’t seen him in days, but he’s still fucking with me and my life – even at a distance.” There was a low grumble in my throat as I thought of Finn. “Even things cloaked in kindness are just new ways to keep me under his thumb. Why not though, right? I’m getting older and I’m now taller and stronger than he is, he needs new ways to keep me in control.”
Julian’s attention was perked. “What do you mean?”
I leaned over and picked up one of the drinks Julian had laid out for us before I arrived and took a generous gulp. “I met my sengil in between our several days apart and–” I was curious when I felt Julian’s heart jump. “What?”
His eyes shot to me and I saw a fleeting glance of surprise, but that surprise vanished and instead I got a huffed look. “God damn sonic hearing. You’re not supposed to hear it, therefor you must ignore it. Carry on.”
“Who made those rules?”
“Just keep going!” he said exasperated.
I rolled my eyes but decided to humour him. “His name is Finn and… he’s just the most innocent, naïve, sensitive little creature I’ve ever seen. He’s just little and adorable and sweet.”
Julian’s eyes flared and his body stiffened as if his muscles were in lockdown.
I stared back at him blankly. “What?”
“Nothing,” Julian said aloofly. “Please continue to gush about your new adorable sengil.”
“Oh, jesus christ…” I muttered. “Do you want to hear what I’m trying to say? Or would you rather keep cutting me off to deal with what I am now seeing are crippling insecurities?”
“I am not insecure!” Julian said aghast.
“Then be quiet and let me continue,” I said. I ignored Julian’s unimpressed look, made all the more animated by his overly expressive facial features and continued. If he wanted to ruffle his dam feathers over something so stupid, he could drink his fill. “I first walked in on this other sengil bullying him…” I quickly told him about the events between Keela and Finn. “And when I was speaking with this sengil I was at first confused over how alike our temperaments were. And how alike Keela’s is with Nero. But once it had time to soak in… I realized something.”
Julian grunted his recognition. I ignored his tone and continued. “Silas is bringing in someone so… unblemished and pure because he wants another weapon to use against me. He’s going to use Finn because he knows I’ll be protecting that boy with all of me.” I turned to Julian and smirked. “But you know what?” I kissed his nose and my smirk turned into a
smile. “Being around you… it’s… you’ve… it’s given me a reason to fight against him, because I want to protect you. I would never let Silas hurt you, and now I’m channeling that same determination into protecting Finn. It’s all you, you’ve given me a reason to fight.”
I expected him to smile but I only got a deeper frown. “You like him already? You’ve only met him… like once?” You – you already want to protect him?”
“He’s my responsibility,” I said honestly, confused as to why Julian wasn’t happy about the compliment I gave him. He’d helped me find the balls Silas had cut off of me at eight years old and he was hung up over the sengil?
Maybe he just needed to understand exactly what a sengil was. “Sengils are trained from a young age to take care of their future masters. They cook for us, clean for us, stay in the home and take care of it and end up developing an extremely close bond with their masters. They give us fifteen to eighteen years of their lives, depending on their initial ages and the preferences of their masters. But it isn’t only them with all the responsibilities. As his master, I also will take care of all of his needs. I’m his rock, his protector. I make sure he’s fed, healthy, happy, secure, every need he has. My sengil is entirely my responsibility and I’ll protect him with my life… and that includes protect him from Silas, my brothers, and the other sengils.”
As I said this, I watched Julian’s face slowly fall until it was deep in the trenches. “A proper sengil shouldn’t need so much protection, and that sengil sounds weak,” he said darkly. “He should be made from stronger stuff and be able to defend you just as much as you defend him.”
A sengil help defend me? The absurdity of this made me snort and scoff. “Sengils defending their master? Absurd. You have no idea what a sengil does, do you?”
“If Silas is that dangerous, then he’s weak and ill prepared for his job,” Julian said, his tone bitter and showing a discontentment that continued to confuse me. “I don’t see why you like him.”
I was starting to get tired of his attitude. “I’m a prince, Julian. If you’re going to have trouble with what that entails, I’m not going to be able to help you. I was raised by sengils and am now finally old enough to have my own. If you cared, you’d be happy I’ve been matched with a sengil whose personality suits my own. Not someone opposite to me that would only cause me stress.”
