After a short while, she realized she didn’t know where she was going. Finding a dark corner of a hallway, she sank into it and curled up into a ball to cry. How infinitely more she would have loved to hide in her room, but no, she didn’t know where that was. Her head was aching, her thumb was throbbing so hard it felt like it would burst, and Taleon had been unnecessarily cruel.
Within a few minutes, she heard Taleon with his back against the wall sliding slowly, lowering himself to sit beside her.
Chapter 13
Taleon sat down on the cold stone floor of the castle hallway. He looked at Cassandra, a bundle of sadness and pain: pain he had caused.
Sensitivity wasn’t always his strong suit, and now he had just shown it off brilliantly. He had sort of known it before he said it; but to be frank, he had been somewhat offended by her refusal to accept the comfort he had offered. Sure it’s not delicate to take a lady’s—a princess’—hand, but in such situations, you can’t always afford to be delicate. I was offering my hand as a friend, and she turned her royal nose up at me. That is what you get for being a snob, offended feelings. He wondered if that was how people became snobs: by having constantly offended feelings. Well, that was too much of a question for now. The real question was how he should go about convincing Cassandra to not hate him.
I should apologize and I will. I really shouldn’t have said that to her. It would be nice if she would apologize every once in a while for the ways she acts. I wonder if King Aric knew she would be such a pain when he assigned me to look after her? Well, he trusts me. He would not have given it to me if he had thought I couldn’t handle it. Can I really handle it? Don’t question yourself, Taleon. You just fell flat on your face. You failed. Now it is time to pick yourself back up again and start over.
Taleon looked at Cassandra again. She was still crying, except now it had escalated almost into hysterics.
“Cassandra,” he whispered softly.
“Go. Away,” she sobbed between gasps for breath.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Why not!”
He could bring up the point that she couldn’t even find her own room, but that would hurt too much, and he needed to build a bridge, not tear it down. “Your father asked me to look after you.”
“King Aric is not my father!”
When will she ever believe us? It is so vexing. She is afraid of something. But what? “Cassandra, whether he is your father or not, he told me to look after you. He is king here, if nowhere else, and we are all bound to obey him as are you, because you are under his authority and protection.”
“Just leave me alone. Please,” she begged.
“I will leave you alone, but let’s get you to your room first. All right?”
“Fine.”
“Let me help you,” he said, getting to his feet, taking her forearms, and gently pulling her up.
“Thank you,” she muttered under her breath.
“Come, we aren’t too terribly far from your room.”
Cassandra kept her head down and walked, letting a few loose hairs fall in front of her face. It was obvious she didn’t want anyone to see her. Carefully Taleon guided her through less crowded hallways to her room.
“Try to get some rest, all right.”
She nodded.
He started to close the door, then opened it again. “Are you in a lot of pain?”
She nodded.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes with something to help,” he said, closing the door and not bothering to lock it. She doesn’t want to be seen by anyone. There is no way she is going to go walking out in the hallway on her own.
Going to the physician’s quarters, he found the assistant who was grinding up herbs.
“Do you have anything made up to lessen pain?”
“How bad is it?”
“Stitches in a badly cut thumb.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s her first time for something like this.”
“How is she handling it?”
“Not well, but not badly either.”
“I have just the thing for her then,” he said, taking down a jar. In a few minutes, he handed Taleon a mug filled with a steaming tea sweetened with honey. “Tell her to take this. It should help.”
“Thank you.”
Taleon knocked on Cassandra’s door.
“Come in,” was the quiet reply.
She was sitting at her dressing table, her hair brushed, pulled loosely back, and tied at the nape of her neck. Unconsciously she was rocking back and forth slightly to comfort herself as she squeezed her thumb; trying to stop the throbbing pain that was now racing up her arm and into her shoulder.
It struck him how young and helpless she was. Here was the princess in a strange place with no friends, at least no one she wanted to claim as her ally. Confronted with so many new things and thoughts; no wonder she was exhausted, especially with all the extra trauma of that morning.
“Here is some tea. It should help the pain in a little while.”
Carefully she took a sip.
“When you have finished, you should lie down and get some rest.”
“I am not a baby that needs to be told what to do,” she fired at him, the temptation of hate lurking in her eyes.
“No, you are not,” he said. “I’ll be back this evening, your highness. Rest well,” he said, retreating and locking the door.
Taleon returned that evening with a tray in hand. He knocked to see if she was awake.
“Come in,” she answered.
He unlocked the door and entered.
She was sitting at the far corner of her room looking over the mountains and valleys that surrounded her. Twilight was just creeping into the sky and the rosy hue of day was fading on the far horizon behind a mountain.
“How did you rest, your highness?”
“Well,” she answered briefly, not deigning to turn around.
“Cook sent up stew for you. Figured it would be easier if you didn’t have to cut anything up.”
“Would you tell him thank you for me,” she said, speaking over her shoulder.
“He also said you’d like this dark stick of something. Why, I can’t imagine,” he said trying to tease a reaction from her, other than bland hate.
“You don’t have to imagine it if you don’t want to. But I shall,” she said, rising from her chair.
“How is the pain?”
“Not too bad. It’s not throbbing anymore, at least—though it still hurts. How long will it be like this?”
“Give it a few days.”
“Days?” she whined.
“A week. Then we’ll see how well it is healing. It is your left thumb, and your thumb gets used a lot. We want to makes sure it is fully healed before we take out the stitches.”
“I don’t think I will ever understand: why you put more holes in people to make them all better.”
Taleon couldn’t help his laugh. “I am not sure why either, but it works. Can I look at it to see how it is coming along?”
“I guess,” she said with a shrug.
He took her hand and unwrapped the bandage. “It looks good. I don’t think we run the risk of anything, but we want to make sure it heals well so it won’t leave much of a scar.”
“A scar?”
“Sorry; it happens with things like this.”
A pout grew on her lips.
“There is no need to cry. Almost everyone has scars and just because you are a princess doesn’t mean you get to escape it. It’ll be so thin no one will notice, and eventually, you’ll forget that it is even there, I promise. Sometimes they completely disappear, too,” he said with a hopeful nod.
“Do you think mine will?”
“Only time will tell.”
Unexpectedly Cassandra looked up into his face and asked, “When do you think King Aric will return?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“I had a question I wanted to ask him.”
&
nbsp; “What is it?”
“It’s a question for him, not you.”
“Of course. How is your pain?”
“It’s coming back again.”
“I’ll bring some tea when I come to pick up your tray, your highness,” he said, opening the door to take his leave.
“Thank you, Taleon.”
He smiled. She is learning her manners, and it makes her almost charming.
As he left, Taleon locked the door.
Chapter 14
The next morning Alexandra braided her hair, barricading herself at the far window waiting for Taleon to make his appearance. She wasn’t going down to breakfast this morning even if that meant she had to go without it.
There was a knock. She knew it was Taleon, but hesitated a moment before answering.
“Come in.”
“Good morning, your highness. Are you ready for breakfast?”
“I don’t wish to go down to breakfast this morning.”
“Because...?” said Taleon with raised eyebrows, tilting his head to one side.
Not finding the right words for her explanation, she held up her thumb. “I don’t want to answer questions and eating with it might be rather awkward.”
“That is understandable. I’ll bring breakfast up to you. Anything in particular that you would like?”
“Nothing I can think of,” she said, holding back a smile.
With a nod, he left.
That was easy. Maybe he is finally coming around to seeing things my way. He is even calling me your highness. It feels good to have him know who I am. A princess the daughter of Serena Francis Anne Delenamore, but who is my father? Aric or Archibald, kings of Chambria—to whom am I the rightful heir? Oh, I don’t know anymore.
She laughed. That wasn’t the problem. She was the rightful heir to both. But to whom did she owe her allegiance and love? Alexandra mulled over the question she had in her mind that she wanted to ask King Aric. What was my mother like?
Yes, she wanted to know. I want to compare stories of my mother with the few that Archi...father has told me. I must remain strong. They are just telling you stories, Alexandra, stories of-of horror and misery so that you will feel sympathetic and believe them. You can’t believe them. You can’t; they are just stories. Could the stories be true, and, if they are, am I being dull and stupid not to believe them? Oh, Alexandra, you are not wrong. You are not. If you are...?
Oh, if you are, you are nothing but a lie. Thirteen years of your life will have been worthless, taken away and destroyed right before your very eyes and you let it happen. You stood by and let your people be destroyed—their livelihoods, their homes, their very existence. And you did nothing about it. That is, if they are right, which they are not. Oh, I hope to God they are not.
Alexandra was still mulling over this quandary when Taleon reentered.
“Will I have to help you today?” she asked rising.
“No, a few days’ rest might do you some good.”
“I would like that.”
“Good, then we need say no more, your highness. Good day.”
“Good day, Taleon.”
With a delighted sigh, she ate her breakfast. A whole day to herself. What should she do with it? Then again, what was there to do with it? At least there would be no one asking her to sit in a corner in an out-of-the-way place or do errands that weren’t fit for a princess. She would run no risk of slitting her finger on something sharp or comforting a crying baby or witnessing things she didn’t want to see. Best of all, it would be a day without Taleon.
Alexandra waited for the morning to speed by to the noon meal, but it seemed to take forever. She toyed with the threads in the work basket, arranging them, then, dissatisfied with that, she rearranged it again. Disgusted, she played with it on the edge of the table until it tipped and the thread fell on the floor. The spools went spinning, dancing, and rolling in every direction. She scrambled to catch all of them before they disappeared. Next, a good deal of time was spent rewinding the spools, untying tiny knots, and arranging them. Finally, it was done to her satisfaction.
Taleon should come any time now. But no, the morning dragged perceptibly on for hours. Every sound of feet that went by made her heart leap with hope and expectation, but no. It was not Taleon coming to visit her in her prison. Well, it wasn’t really a prison, but it was beginning to feel like one.
Time ticked by terribly slowly, and she was happy to hear Taleon’s knock.
“Come in.”
Taleon entered. “How was your morning?”
“Nice and quiet.”
“I suppose you won’t want to come with me this afternoon then, will you?”
“Not really; why?”
“Brendan was crying this morning. I had to quiet him. No one else could do it. I think he was crying for you.”
“Don’t tease me, Taleon. Why would he cry for me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you played with him yesterday.”
“That doesn’t make sense. He is just a baby.”
Taleon gave her a cryptic look that could have said about a thousand different things but probably only meant one and that one she couldn’t figure out.
“How is your thumb?”
“I don’t know. It still hurts, but it isn’t throbbing like it was yesterday.”
“Can I see it?”
“If you must,” she said, holding out her hand.
With a quick hand, he unwrapped her thumb and turned it to see it in better lighting. He took his time, and Alexandra found the question coming to her lips even though she had forbidden it.
“Do you really think Brendan was crying for me?”
“Hmm?” asked Taleon, looking up at her. “What did you say?”
Alexandra bit her lip, annoyed that she had to repeat the question.
“I am pretty sure he was.”
“How is Edith?”
“Her cough hasn’t seemed to get any worse, but she doesn’t seem to be getting any better. We are thinking of moving her to a small quiet room just for herself and Brendan. She could use the privacy and the rest it would give her. With a life as difficult as hers, I know she could use it.”
“Do you know her story?”
“No, but I know enough of what goes on in the valley to guess.”
“What do you guess her life was like?”
“That isn’t for me to tell you. Besides, you wouldn’t want to hear it from me, and I doubt that you would actually believe me if I told you.”
“I would.”
“You haven’t believed anything I have said about the valley or King Aric. Why would you believe me now?”
Alexandra blushed. It was true, but he didn’t need to say it that way. She pulled her hand from his and walked away.
“Walking away won’t make it any less true, you know. The truth is the truth.”
“The truth is whatever you want it to be,” she fired back.
“Is that what you believe?” asked Taleon, his eyes narrowing with questions.
“I-I don’t know.”
“So the truth is whatever you want it to be. So I can say the sky is pink, but it doesn’t make it pink.”
“It is at sunset,” she answered almost coyly, knowing she was tempting Taleon’s patience while grabbing at straws to save herself.
Taleon’s jaw was fighting between laughter and outright anger at her pointless and futile but also true answer. The sky at times is pink at sunset. He let out a sigh. “True, but if I said the sky was pink all of the time that wouldn’t make it true.”
“Maybe you are looking at it through a pane of glass that is pink, and that is all you see.”
“But does it make it true?”
“It’s true to them.”
Taleon’s mouth twitched. “But is it really true? What color is the sky?”
“Blue.”
“Do you know that for yourself or just because that is what everyone has told you?”
“I
know it is a fact.”
“Well then, maybe it is time you take off your rose-colored glasses and saw the rest of the world the way you see the sky: the way it really is.”
“I do see the way it is. Everything is quite clear to me, Taleon.”
“I think it is quite clouded by King Archibald’s view.”
“It isn’t. Now go away.”
“Why?” he asked, stepping closer.
“Because I say so.”
“Would you care to give some clarity to that?”
“No. I am a princess. I don’t need to give you clarity on anything.”
“Is that the way it was in the valley? Your Uncle Archibald never had to give you clarity for his actions?”
“I never doubted his wisdom.”
“You followed him blindly, and he took advantage of that.”
“He did nothing of the sort. My father loves and cares for me. That is more than anyone up here on this forsaken mountain does.”
“You are greatly mistaken. There is a man who has dedicated his whole life to loving and protecting you, and you wouldn’t even speak to him, much less own that he was something to you once. He was, wasn’t he? Somewhere deep inside you know something-something you aren’t telling me or anyone else, maybe not even yourself. If you don’t listen to it, it will eat your body and soul. Live in torment if you wish. Just don’t be blind to the fact that some people have risked their lives trying to save you.”
“Go away!”
Taleon looked at her challengingly, his eyes piercing and intense.
She was a princess. She would not back down. She wouldn’t. Alexandra couldn’t help it. Turning with a sob, she broke into tears and sank into a chair.
The door closed, a few seconds later it opened again. “I almost forgot, for your mouse.” Taleon set down a small crate and closed the door.
This was too much to take in one day. Running across her room, Alexandra flung herself onto her bed. Her thumb throbbed as she landed on her hands—just one more good reason to cry. Overwhelmed, she buried herself beneath the pillows.
Why did he have to be so cruel? Why did he have to pierce so closely to her burning, throbbing, breaking heart? Why? Alexandra kicked her feet against the bed in rage, wishing she could be kicking Taleon instead. Exhausted from her vexed tears and thoughts, she drifted off into deep sleep.
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