“Maybe he thinks he wouldn’t be welcome.”
“Did he say that?” she asked. “Did he ask you to put in a good word for him with me?”
“Not at all. I’m here on your behalf, girl. And if that includes talking him up, then so be it. Shay says he’s been staying here, watching out for you and the kids. Sounds to me like that’s a help to you and a step in the right direction for him.”
“A step too little, too late.” Even as she said the words, she flushed, thinking of all Jason had done for her in the past few days. And all they had both said in their argument at the Big Dipper.
“If that’s what you’ve set your mind to, that’s what you’ll tend to believe. It doesn’t mean it’s the truth. But my point is, you can’t handle everything on your own, especially when you’re recovering from the flu. Whether or not he’s laid out his thoughts about the future, he’s proven his good intentions for now, hasn’t he?”
She stared down at her mug.
“Layne,” he said gently, “whatever happened between you two, whatever might be going to happen, he is your boy’s father, after all.”
For all the contact you’ve had with him, you could have been a sperm donor.
She winced and gripped her mug. “On paper, Jed, but not the way it counts.”
“No. Not legally, since you two never went that route. But morally, now that’s a different story.”
She heard the heavy footsteps out in the hallway then a knock at the door.
Scott scrambled to his feet. To her dismay he had learned to recognize that quick-tap, too. “Jason’s home!” he yelled.
She almost choked on the lump in her throat. What would happen when Jason left “home” again...for good?
She set her mug and plate on the coffee table and went to open the door. He stood in the hallway, his arms crossed and legs planted as if he might never leave the spot again. But as she pulled the door wide, he stepped inside.
He caught sight of Jed, and his brows rose in surprise. Either he hadn’t sent the other man here, or he’d just done a good job of faking his reaction. “Hey, Jed.”
“Wondered when you’d get back. After I left SugarPie’s, I moseyed over here to see how Layne was doing.” Jed set down his mug and rose. “It’s past time for me to get back out to the ranch.”
“About that room you’re holding for me—” Jason said.
“Ah. Well. That’s the other reason I stopped by. Tina called me while I was still at Sugar’s. My boys and their wives decided to stay on a couple of days, and we’ve had some new guests check in. I’m afraid we haven’t got a single room to spare. But I’d reckon that’s not a problem. Layne’s put you up for a few nights now, and I’m sure she can handle one or two more. Can’t you, Layne?”
She looked at Jed, who stood smiling at her.
Then she made the mistake of looking at Jason. He had raised one eyebrow the way he had always done after issuing a challenge he expected her to refuse.
So she did what she had always done. “Of course I can handle it,” she said defiantly.
* * *
SOMEHOW, SHE AND Jason had managed to eat supper and straighten up the kitchen, then spend the evening in the living room with Scott, all without incident...until Sugar called.
Layne had answered the phone in the living room, where Jason and Scott sat on the floor with the toy cars spread out around them. She noticed Jason reaching for the remote. When he muted the television, she had felt grateful for not having to strain to hear over the canned laugher. In the background while she spoke to Sugar, Scott made occasional engine noises as he raced his cars down the runway.
By the time she hung up, she wished Jason had left the sound on to prevent him and Scott from hearing her end of the conversation. Worse, she had begun fighting the uncomfortable feeling he had muted the program only so he could listen in on her call.
It was horrible of her to think that, but how could she doubt it when the first words out of his mouth related directly to what she had said to Sugar?
“How do you expect to go back to the shop and put in a full day on your feet?” he asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
“You mean, you’ll be stubborn as usual. You were still tossing your cookies two days ago,” he reminded her. “And don’t try to pretend you weren’t worn-out after the walk this afternoon.”
“I’ll bounce back.” But she knew in her heart—and her weak legs—she still wasn’t up to caring for both kids and working a full-time schedule.
“Sugar doesn’t want you back yet,” he said flatly.
“You listened to my conversation?”
“I figured if you didn’t want me to hear, you would have gone into the other room.” He grinned. “I guess it pays to be careful what you say around adults, too.”
“Very funny. And yes, she told me to stay home for another day.”
“Sounds sensible to me. You’ve got to see things from her perspective. She can’t have an employee passing out on the job. Or worse, serving up germs to all her customers.”
“I know that,” she muttered. “But I need to work.”
With one hand, he effortlessly boosted himself from the floor and settled onto the cushion beside hers.
“Show-off.” She stiffened and pressed her back into the couch, hoping to get some distance. But he turned her way and leaned closer, obviously trying to catch her gaze. She raised her chin and stared back at him.
Which was definitely not a good idea.
He was so close. Too close. For the first time since seeing him again, she allowed herself to actually look at him. To take in his dark eyebrows, his slightly crooked nose, his lush dark lashes. And his eyes. Those caramel-brown eyes with darker brown flecks that once upon a time had held her mesmerized.
They held her captive now. She couldn’t break eye contact. Couldn’t blink. Couldn’t breathe.
“Oops!” Scott said.
Jason turned his head.
Freed, she took a shuddering breath and let it out again.
Jason knelt down to readjust the cardboard runway. By the time he returned to his seat, she had regained control. She had also shifted position, sitting sideways with her legs crossed and hastily pulling the afghan from the back of the couch to cover herself with, creating both distance and barriers between them.
Coward, a little voice in her head whispered.
No. Better to be safe than seduced—by my own imagination.
He rested his arm along the back of the couch, leaving his fingertips still too close to her shoulder. She had nowhere else to go, short of getting up from her seat and moving to the chair or finding an excuse to leave the room. Instead, she stood her ground...so to speak.
“Listen,” he said quietly, “regardless of how much you think I’ve done for you, you’ve given me food and a place to sleep and a shower. If you’re keeping score, I’d say that makes us even. You can stop worrying about paying me back. But I doubt you’ll stop worrying over your bills. We haven’t worked out a deal for child support yet—”
As she opened her mouth, he rested his hand on hers to forestall her. Warmth spread through her as if her fever had spiked again.
“Maybe we never will agree on that,” he continued. “But at least let me advance you something to get you through.”
She shook her head. “I’ll keep Scott and Jill home for a few more days. That will save on the babysitter.”
“And then you can’t work, so how will you handle the bills?”
She sighed.
“Layne. If you don’t want to take the money for yourself, think of your kids. I have no problem with helping you for their sakes.”
She pressed her lips together, tugged on the edge of the afghan, laced her fingers through the open weave. There wer
e more knots in her life right now than in this afghan Tina’s grandmother had crocheted for her.
They had a full pantry and refrigerator again, thanks to Jason, though she hadn’t wanted to accept his help with her groceries. She didn’t want to accept his money now.
He is your boy’s father, after all, Jed had reminded her.
For their sakes, Jason said.
She couldn’t default on her credit cards or be late on the rent.
She couldn’t let her kids suffer for a decision she had made years ago.
And she wouldn’t let it seem as though Jason showed more concern for her own children than she did.
“I don’t want Cole to hear anything about this,” she said slowly. “He doesn’t know I’m struggling...just a bit...financially. He has a little boy of his own and a baby on the way, and I don’t want him even thinking about helping me.”
“He sure won’t hear it from me.”
She stared past him for a few moments, watching Scott on his knees running his cars up the ramp Jason had made. His head was bent over his play. Jason’s eyes stayed focused on her.
“All right,” she said at last. “I’ll...accept your offer. As a loan.”
“We’ll discuss that angle another time.”
“Jason, help.”
At Scott’s plea, he looked away, turning his attention to her son, giving her another moment to herself. She sagged back against the couch and exhaled heavily, hoping she hadn’t just sold her soul to her ex.
There were bound to be catches to this arrangement, complications she couldn’t foresee. But what was done was done. Resolutely, she sat up again. “Since you’re here for another night, I’ll get you a proper pillow and some bedding. I didn’t mean for you to go without them all this time.” She flushed. “I guess I was too out of it to think about that before.”
“No worries. I slept in the chair, anyhow.”
“You didn’t. Every night?”
He shrugged. “It’s a comfortable chair.”
“Like a truck?” Scott asked.
He laughed. “Even better.”
“Speaking of sleeping, honey,” she said to Scott, “it’s time for little boys to be in bed.”
“No. Wanna play cars with Jason.”
“I think you want to listen to your mama,” he said.
“Read me story?” Scott held up his arms.
“I can do that.”
Before she could say anything, Jason had scooped him up and set him on his shoulder. He brought her son over to her and leaned down so she could give Scott a kiss. She wanted to protest. But Jason had handled bedtime for the past few days now. How could she tell Scott Jason couldn’t read to him tonight?
Worse, what was she going to face when she had to tell Scott Jason wasn’t there to tuck him in? The thought made her heart hurt, both for her son and for herself. It made her wonder if she wasn’t protesting the events unfolding around her nearly as strongly as she should.
She swallowed hard and kissed her son’s cheek. “You behave and go to sleep for...for Jason. You hear me?”
Scott nodded.
Heart in her throat, she watched them cross the living room. Jason ducked down to clear the doorway. Scott laughed and scrunched his fingers in Jason’s hair.
When they disappeared from view, she sat staring at the empty doorway, her thoughts shifting to another apartment very much like this one.
So many nights, she had run her fingers through Jason’s hair, too, feeling the contradictory crisp yet smooth sensation against her palms, inhaling the scent of his aftershave, tasting the salt of his skin as she kissed his shoulder.
She rubbed her palms across her eyes to blot out the memories.
They were too much to think about.
This entire situation was too much, too family-like, too special. Too close to the life she had expected to have with Jason.
* * *
WHEN JASON ENTERED the kitchen a while later, Layne turned to look at him. She had just run some water in the kettle. Raising her eyebrows in question, she held up the kettle, catching his attention.
“Yeah,” he said. As she ran more water, he went to the cupboard and took down a couple of mugs, then reached up to the shelf for the tea canister.
It was as if he’d always lived here with them. As if they were a team.
Suddenly, she wondered what she would face when he wasn’t there to tuck Scott in. The thought made her shiver. Maybe she should have put her foot down and read tonight’s bedtime story.
“Cold again?”
“No.”
He rubbed her upper arm as if to warm her. Instead, his touch only sent a series of shivers racing through her. He tilted his head, giving her no option but to meet his gaze. “Having the chills this bad has to mean something.”
If he only knew.
“I just haven’t shaken off this flu yet.” She sidestepped him and went to the refrigerator for the milk pitcher.
At the stove, the kettle began to whistle. He poured their mugs and set them on the table, then took his usual seat. She settled in her chair and stared down at her mug.
“I knew you weren’t up to speed,” he said. “You probably ought to hit the hay as soon as you’ve had your tea.”
A vision of them together in her bed flashed before her eyes. She blinked it away. Why was she responding to him like this? He had already been here for days, and she hadn’t had a reaction.
Her fib about the flu gave her an inkling of the truth. While she’d been down and out, the flu must have suppressed her hormones. But there was nothing stopping them from working at full strength now.
“You need to move to the Hitching Post,” she said abruptly.
He looked at her in surprise.
“I mean, you can’t keep sleeping in a chair. And my couch won’t be any better. It was too short for Cole when he used it, so it will certainly be too short for you.”
“Trying to kick me out?”
“No.” But she could feel the telltale flush spreading up her neck and over her jawline.
“Layne.”
She tensed. “What?” He had used the tone she recognized from years ago. The one meant to convince her of something. To sway her to his point of view. To win an argument.
“Jed said there might not be a room for a day or two. I hope you plan to let me bunk down here till then.”
“Do I have a choice?” she said irritably. “All right, fine. But I hope you don’t plan to spend all your time in the apartment.”
“In or out of it, I want to spend the time with Scott.”
And there was the first catch to letting him stay. The first complication she hadn’t foreseen—but should have figured out long before this. Could she blame her dull wits on her flu symptoms, too?
Feigning a calm she didn’t feel, she sat back and sipped her steaming tea.
“You’re keeping him home from day care,” he reminded her in the same tone.
“What does that have to do with anything?” But she knew his answer before he said it.
“He’ll be around and so will I.”
But for how long?
She sighed. She had agreed to take financial help from the man. The obligation already weighed her down. She didn’t need to let that force her into anything else. Even so, she knew the situation had turned into something more.
She wanted the best for both her kids. What mother wouldn’t? Yet Jill’s father ignored her existence, just as Jason had ignored Scott’s...till now. She couldn’t deny her son time with a daddy who wanted to see him—no matter how short a time that interest would last.
“You can’t be with him every minute,” she said slowly. “I don’t want him getting any more used to having you around than
he’s gotten already.”
He shrugged. “I’ll find something to keep me occupied for part of the day.”
“And I don’t want you alone with him, either.”
His jaw set and his lips thinned as if he were fighting to hold back his response. For a moment she thought he would refuse to accept her terms. But finally, he nodded.
“All right, then,” she said. “You can see Scott, as long as I’m there with you.”
To her dismay, she realized that was the second complication her muddled brain had let her get tangled up in. She had just negotiated a deal that would force her to spend more time with Jason.
Chapter Ten
The early-morning sun blazed through the kitchen blinds, making Layne’s eyes water. Yawning, she covered her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Tired?” Jason asked.
She blinked. He had been standing at the refrigerator with his back to her. She hadn’t realized he had turned in time to catch her midyawn. “A little,” she told him.
A lot, she confessed to herself. Between Jill’s midnight feeding and her own restlessness, she had barely gotten any sleep.
“I could take Scott off your hands for a while this morning,” he said as he poured orange juice into a plastic cup. He fit the cover in place with a crisp snap.
“Nice try,” she snapped almost as briskly, trying to keep from glaring at him. At her tone, Scott looked up from his coloring book. She smiled at him and stroked his hair. As he returned his attention to his book, she gave Jason a level stare over her son’s head.
Was he going to force the issue on their agreement already? Was this her chance to call their verbal contract null and void? And wasn’t that what she wanted? Yet, why did all those questions make her heart thump, and not in a good way?
When Scott held up the coloring book to show Jason, she had her answer. Her son and his daddy had formed a bond that Jason’s departure would break.
“Nice job, buddy.” He set the cup of juice on the table at Scott’s elbow and looked at her. “If it’s not too early to run the washer, how about we throw in that load of clothes you talked about?”
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