by Emma Dean
“Ravens live in eyries,” Emily murmured. “Most are set high into mountaintops, but some like mine, are magicked to float above the world on giant slabs of rock, as if a mountain top had been snapped off to fly above the clouds.”
Most shifters only knew what was whispered about ravens, the things ravens let them all know. Foxes knew more thanks to their libraries, but they were solitary creatures too, staying in their dens. The foxes without dens roamed until they found a pack or a pride to join. Others never did, fighting for their survival against the larger shifters and witches.
It was one of the benefits to being a lesser shifter. Raccoons were ignored for the most part, so were the owls and squirrels and mice shifters. Anything too small was overlooked, their special gifts forgotten. But despite ravens being small and birds, they’d made a name for themselves.
Assassins.
The best there was for thousands of years.
“‘The ground’ means earth, essentially,” she said, rolling onto her side to face Ben, tucking her head under his chin. “In my Collective, we don’t leave the eyrie until we’re taken to the forest below at four years old. They leave us there for a year, to weed out the weak.”
Chance didn’t move. For once in his life he didn’t know what to say.
Four years old?
He tried to remember that far back, but he couldn’t remember being that young, let alone figuring out how to survive.
“They don’t just leave us there,” Emily admitted softly. “It’s not as…barbaric as it sounds.”
Chance bit his tongue to keep from arguing with her.
“Sounds pretty barbaric to me,” Aiden said softly from the front door.
Fucking agreed, Chance wanted to say.
“Before they drop us in the forest, we’re taught to fish and hunt, how to build shelter,” Emily explained with a little sigh. “We are taught how to scavenge for edible plants and fruit, how to identify if abandoned or dead meat is safe to eat and how to prepare it, how to wield a knife, to build a fire…all of us are capable by the time we’ve reached the age of four.”
Holy fuck. Chance didn’t know how you would teach babies to do all that, but somehow…somehow the ravens had managed it.
“We are constantly monitored thanks to our TI’s, or training instructors, watching over us. But they are never seen and never allowed to interfere,” Emily explained, slipping her arm around Ben’s waist. “But if a hatchling is starving, or about to die from exposure they are taken back to the eyrie. They are trained as assassins as are all ravens, but they will never take a contract. They are also taught to do any number of other things a Collective needs to function.”
Something in his chest eased at that. At least they didn’t abandon their kits in the woods to suffer and die.
“Some TI’s aren’t fast enough,” Emily admitted, hands tightening on Ben, nails digging into his back as though she were reliving her own experience
Ben didn’t react to the pain. He only pulled her closer, so she was pressed up against his chest.
“Some don’t interfere when two hatchlings are fighting over supplies,” Emily murmured. “One hatchling killing another is allowed and…if they can’t work as a team that is another sign they won’t likely make it to the final assassin training.”
“Why are you telling us all this? Outsiders?” Chance demanded. He wasn’t sure if he was pissed that she was finally opening up to them, making him bear the emotions he’d never wanted, or if he was pissed she’d had to live that life.
Emily shrugged and pressed her face into Ben’s bare chest. “I’m not supposed to. Telling outsiders how we train assassins is considered treason. They could strip my wings for it.”
Brutal. Efficient. Unwavering.
Just like her.
If just telling them this was considered treason, then what would they do when she returned and they found out she’d betrayed her own kind? Chance wrapped one arm around both Ben and Emily, pulling them close and holding on tight as he considered what waited for them once this was all over.
He wasn’t going to let that happen to her, not when he’d seen the panic in her eyes when she thought she couldn’t shift in that world devoid of magic. And that had been without her emotions turned on.
“Then why tell us?” Ben asked, his lips ruffling her hair.
Seeing her hair down after the river had made Chance’s entire body strain toward her. Somehow it made her look…softer.
“I don’t know,” she finally whispered. “I just wanted you to understand.”
No one questioned her further. They all could feel the same thing she felt, the strange push toward her that defied all logic and reality. It was like none of them had a fucking choice about the way they felt for her, for each other, and that pissed Chance off more than anything.
There was only one thing he knew of that stripped choice like that from a shifter and he wasn’t ready to have it confirmed.
“Did you have to kill another hatchling?” Jace asked, his sharp words lingering above them in the dark like a guillotine waiting to fall.
“I did,” Emily stated, but she didn’t seem inclined to explain why and no one dared ask her.
Chance pressed his hand into her back and wondered what that must have been like as he pressed his own face into Ben’s shoulder.
He didn’t let himself think about it and forced himself to fall asleep.
18
Emily
For the first time in a long time she dreamed of nothing. All she knew was the warmth that surrounded her and the peace that provided. She hadn’t felt this safe since those years spent with the other hatchlings at the academies, always sleeping together in piles instead of separately as they’d learned to do when they got older.
Growing up, the natural trios and pairs started to form, and the Collective—the flock liked to encourage that. Emily had ended up paired with Corbin, and no one else. None of the others had been good enough to keep up with them.
When he’d gone solo, he’d left her – left all they’d known to prove he was the best of the best.
He’d abandoned her, and she would never forgive him for that.
She would never forgive him for forcing her into a brand-new trio that had chafed and grated on every nerve when they failed her time and again. Until she’d finally convinced the Enclave she could work solo.
No one had known her the way Corbin did. They’d breathed the same breath, moved as one, and never once had she had to explain anything. Their very thoughts had been identical thanks to spending nearly twenty years as partners.
They’d known each other better than they knew themselves.
Whenever she’d needed someone to pick her up off the floor after a bad bender, he was there. He’d kept her secrets when it mattered, and she was always there for him, doing exactly what he needed her to do.
Much like her mother, Corbin had never turned on his emotions except during the emotional training at the Obsidian Academy. He was the perfect raven in every way. And he’d never understood why she liked to turn hers on, but he also never questioned it and simply let her be.
They were opposites and yet, the same. Her brother and twin in everything but blood.
She shifted slightly, adjusting to distribute the weight over her more evenly. Slowly she cracked her eyes open and blinked, realizing the weight was three separate pairs of arms. She looked up to see she wasn’t facing Ben anymore, but Jace, with Aiden between them.
Pressed up against Aiden’s back, he was her little spoon and Jace faced them both, his arm over them, lounging on Ben and Chance’s arms that were also slung over her waist.
Emily waited, expecting the feeling of being suffocated to start at any moment, but it didn’t. Even with Ben pressed against her back, and Chance behind him, both of them holding her, holding Aiden.
It was weird.
But it was also the most safe and comfortable she’d felt in a long time.
“How�
��s your shoulder?” Jace whispered, letting his fingers trace the curve of her shoulder as if he could see the wound through her—through his shirt.
“Healed,” she answered, words barely loud enough to be more than the wind. “Same with my stomach.”
Ravens healed fast and the healing tonics witches made for the Collective kept them in perfect condition without risking their lives in the field. A wound could be ignored, but it would slow them down. Blood left a trail and an essence in the world. Being slow, being able to be tracked, it could get them killed.
Jace looked down at Aiden as if he wanted to ask him too, but he was still in deep sleep. Aiden had almost died and the look in Jace’s eyes told her exactly how aware of that he was. It made her think of the dream he’d told her about – how ending up old and alone was his worst nightmare.
He looked up at her and she nodded. Aiden was no longer in pain, he would live. He was healing, if a bit sore. Emily could see the pain in his aura, but Aiden was also…happy.
Because of her.
It hurt more than she would ever admit to know that—to know she would have to break his heart when all was said and done. Emily pressed a kiss to the back of Aiden’s neck and blinked away her tears.
The last thing she needed was for the others to ask why she was upset.
No one understood. How could they?
She’d tried to explain some of it – committed treason so that when she left, they would know it wasn’t because of them. It was because of her—because of what she was.
What she’d been born to be.
What exactly was she?
Emily sighed and looked up again, sensing Jace’s attention. He was watching her closely, like he didn’t trust her. Which he shouldn’t. Emily was going to use them all to make sure she didn’t end up with her wings stripped or clipped.
They would never take the sky from her if she had anything to say about it.
But…
Emily watched Jace watching her.
She wasn’t going to kill him. Emily would violate her contract. Thankfully she thought she had enough ammunition to justify the failure and the fallout. It would still be risky, but Emily knew her father would vote in her favor. He held a lot of weight as the Guardian.
As the Diplomat, her mother held more power though, second only to the Commander. Which way she would vote when Emily presented the case to the Administration was unknown, and she hated that more than anything else about this process.
Her mother was her own creature who had never once turned on her emotions. She felt absolutely nothing for Emily, and that she’d tarnished their family’s reputation…
It would not go unpunished.
Whether her mother would go for the ultimate penalty or not was yet to be determined. Only the Enclave or the Commander could rule against the Diplomat which meant her fate was up in the air if Emily couldn’t convince them she was in the right.
Finding out if the raccoons were actually saving the world, if they were actually being wrongfully targeted, that would be Emily’s saving grace among a few other things. It wasn’t as though the Enclave was faultless.
The Enclave was more of a committee where all Commanders and ruling Administration could vote on larger issues that affected all ravens and flocks. The end of the world was a pretty big issue, and Emily hoped the others would curb her mother’s appetite for retribution in light of the evidence.
The Bradley Davis fiasco had only been a few months ago after all, and Emily knew if there were ravens on the Enclave that were actively pushing for the end of the world, there would be an investigation.
“What are you thinking about?” Jace asked, reaching out to trace one of her curls. “Your eyes are glowing red.”
It was early, and Aiden was still asleep. Ben and Chance were both breathing evenly, but they could be awake. She didn’t know and she didn’t really care. For Aiden though, she whispered.
“I’m thinking about what my mother is going to say when I finally return to the eyrie.” The truth, and a warning.
Emily was going to return to her people no matter what happened. It was all she knew – all she’d wanted to do. To be an assassin…there was no other choice. And she’d given up too much, sacrificed everything to be what she was.
“Will they take you back?” Jace asked, his eyes turning silver. He didn’t ask her why she’d go back, and she appreciated that.
Emily considered his question, and the possessive way he held onto all of them. Jace didn’t want her to go back, but he wouldn’t stop her either.
“They will,” Emily admitted. “There are perks to being the best even if I’ll have to earn that spot back.”
And she knew that no matter what her mother decided, they wouldn’t drop her over the side of the eyrie if she had a few bargaining chips, something like an item of power perhaps.
Clipped wings? Sure, but those feathers would grow back. They wouldn’t strip her to the point it was irreversible, and they wouldn’t put her to death.
Not if she saved the world.
As idiotic as it sounded.
“They would be stupid not to take you back,” Jace told her, running his fingertip over her nose and then her lips. “Not only are you the best, you’re the most beautiful.”
She snorted at that and Aiden shifted.
Emily froze and waited to see if the raccoon would wake up.
She sighed in relief when his even breathing continued and he settled.
Aiden needed the rest.
Jace ran his fingers down her throat and she whipped her gaze to him, heart pounding. “I can smell you,” he whispered. “Like rain on rocks. Clean and cold and crisp.” Those wicked fingers trailed down to lightly skim her over the curve of her breast, her nipple. Then Jace cupped her tit with his hand, squeezing slightly. “I can smell your anxiety, and your desire.”
Suddenly Ben was hard and pressing into her ass. Emily knew he was definitely awake now, and it was confirmed when his massive hand went from her waist to her stomach, and then lower…
She bit her lip to keep quiet when his hand slipped between her thighs to cup her pussy.
“Mine,” Ben growled against her neck, the grip between her thighs possessive and demanding.
Emily’s heart started racing, eyes wide as she stared at Jace’s glowing eyes.
They could smell her, smell her.
She’d taken off her fucking scent charm thanks to that stupid river and now they could scent her.
Whether Ben had known when they’d laid down to sleep, or if he’d woken up and scented it…she didn’t know. But Emily knew what that word meant, what this all meant…
“Yours?” Jace challenged, raising an eyebrow at his second. “Are you sure?”
Ben’s tongue licked her shoulder and up her neck before biting the curve of her throat softly. “Mate,” he practically purred.
Her heart stopped as that word sank into her like a stone.
“No fucking way,” Chance said, loud enough to wake Aiden. “Is she really?”
She was on her feet and across the room before anyone else had moved, before they could all sniff at her like dogs. Her heart raced and raced. Emily felt faint as the adrenaline coursed through her along with the sheer panic.
If she didn’t get her shit under control, she was going to black out and do something she could never take back.
“Hey, hey,” Chance murmured as he knelt before her, hands out like he was trying to calm a feral animal. “It’s okay, just slow down your breathing.”
Chance, of all of them was before her, trying to soothe her.
Emily bared her teeth at him and pressed back against the wall. “I can’t,” she managed to grit out.
Mate.
Ben was watching her with a dazed look on his face, like it had been the last thing he’d expected too, like his own body had taken over and he hadn’t been the one consciously holding her like that, but the animal part of him.
Jace watched he
r with glittering, curious eyes and Aiden blinked sleepily.
“It’s okay, you can deny the bond,” Chance reminded her. “Just breathe.”
She couldn’t breathe, even if his reminder did help.
They didn’t have to be bonded permanently. It would be easy enough to deny the mate bond.
If she meant it.
Whatever calm she’d gathered dissipated like mist on a hot day as she realized there was no way she could deny that bond, not when she could never really mean it. Her eyes found Ben’s and those tears she’d been holding back for days poured down her face.
Emily slid down the wall and landed on her butt. Every time she exhaled; she entered the shadow realm. Every time she inhaled, she was back here, with them until she was a flickering mess and Emily couldn’t control it.
Then Chance managed to get a grip on her, tight enough to hurt and he shook her. “Do you need to hit me? Or do you need me to hit you?”
She didn’t know and didn’t care.
Emily was trapped.
“Get her outside,” Ben growled, running his finger through his longish hair. “She needs the sky.”
“There’s no way I’m letting her out of my sight,” Jace warned. “If she’s your mate Ben, she’s probably Chance’s too. If not all of ours. Emily dies and we’ll never finish this mission.”
Because of the heartbreak. Emily had always been so grateful ravens didn’t mate because of that.
“Hit me,” she managed, holding Chance’s gaze. His eyes focused and unfocused as she flickered between this realm and the shadow realm. “Please.”
He gritted his teeth but nodded.
Crack.
Then fire across her cheek. The pain and slap shocked her enough she looked up at Chance. He had this grimace on his face like he knew something bad was about to happen and…
Ben slammed into him and the two were punching each other, fighting like they meant it.
Because Chance had hit his mate.
Emily got up and ran for the door, but Jace was so fast. Faster than most shifters could ever hope to be.
