‘You don’t need to, there’s a spare room upstairs. I’ll make it up for you—give me a couple of minutes. First door on the right.’
‘Okay. If you want.’
What she wanted was for him to sleep in her bed.
My God. She didn’t?
She did. And to wake up to that gorgeous smile tomorrow. Preferably with all her current worries wiped clean and her sense of self intact. She wanted to sleep with him and to have no ramifications. No angsty emotions. To be freed up enough to trust him. To trust herself to not be like her mother.
Like that was going to happen.
‘Matteo…’ She didn’t know what she wanted to say. Well, actually, she did, but she didn’t know how to say it. Or what saying it would mean for both of them. So she chickened out. ‘Thank you. For everything. You’ve been very sweet.’
‘My pleasure.’ He ran his thumb down her cheek, his eyes kind and startling and misted. She caught his gaze and they stood for a few moments just looking at each other. So much was being unsaid, so many needs and wants. Eventually he dragged his gaze away. ‘Now go.’
‘But—’
‘Please.’ He must have known what she was going to ask, knew what she was thinking of offering him—it was written in her eyes, in her body language, in every word, in every gesture. But instead of reaching for her he shook his head. ‘Ivy, it’s late and it’s been an emotional day. First the surgery, then your mum. Don’t let’s get things mixed up. Don’t do something you’d regret.’
I wouldn’t regret it.
But, then again, he was probably right. She had enough problems already without adding him to the list.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SOMETHING WARM AND heavy and very noisy pressed against Matteo’s chest. Gingerly opening one eye, he came nose to nose with a fat cat that was purring so loudly it sounded like a dentist’s drill. ‘Hugo? Ma, che sei grullo. Eh? You are joking? A beautiful woman next door and this is the only offer of bedtime action that I get?’
Matteo wiggled and jiggled his torso but the cat didn’t move. He just stretched a lazy leg, gave it a lick, then resumed the loud drill noise. ‘Go, cat. Go.’
Purr. Purr. Another lazy lick.
‘Okay. Stay there. See if I care. Because I don’t.’ It was six-thirteen in the morning. He was in bed with a cat. At Ivy’s house. She, however, was sleeping elsewhere. That cross mouth and taut, hot body under covers in another room in a house that felt like it was the furthest thing from a home that he’d ever known. There were few pictures on the walls, nothing to say that a family lived here. Or a proud mother. Nothing like the chaos of his home, where you couldn’t move for people and things. And the comparison made his heart ache for Ivy and what she hadn’t had, growing up.
It had been a mistake to come here, that he knew with certainty.
He’d been so close last night to suggesting things that would have taken them way beyond this strange relationship they had right now. But just because he’d kept silent didn’t mean he was happy about it. Or that he wanted her any less. But he was stuck here for the next few hours at least—he’d promised to take her back to the hospital to see her mum, which meant he had a period of being here…alone with Ivy. He could manage a few hours. Just. Then he would get the hell out and back to the sanitised sanity of his chaotic but uncomplicated life.
In the meantime, he had to make the most of this unexpected downtime. Inching his way from underneath the soggy furball, crawling out of bed and shrugging on some running gear, he left the house in silence to explore what wonders York had to offer. A leafy path opposite the front door headed off next to a slow flowing river, towards what looked like the business centre. What better way to put a woman out of your mind than by sprinting through a new city?
The air was fresh and crisp and rich with something sweet—something delicious, like sugar candy. It made his gut curl with hunger. But again, as with thoughts of Ivy, he put everything aside and focused his effort into each footfall. Few people were out and about this early so he was able to up his pace and circumnavigate what appeared to be an old city surrounded by ancient, crumbling walls and lush greenery.
Weak sunshine fought its way through light grey clouds. It was quiet, the cobbled streets were deserted, and his mind began to settle a little with the rhythmic thud of each step.
An hour later, and much calmer, he found her in the lounge curled up on a window seat that overlooked a typical country garden filled with the fragrant blooms of spring flowers. Her laptop was open and files were scattered around her feet. She was wearing dark blue pyjamas and had wrapped a thick cream woollen cardigan around herself, and his heart clutched a little to see her working so early. Seemed the woman had so much to prove. Too much.
Even though she’d been out of his head briefly while he’d pondered some historical ruins likely put there by some old Roman ancestor of his, she settled firmly back into it the moment he set eyes on her again.
She jumped a little as she realised he was watching her, her eyes narrowing, breath quickening. ‘Matteo! Gosh, you must have been up early.’
‘Buongiorno. I had a strange companion with his own quirky alarm.’ If he went to her he might just kiss her good morning. So he stayed exactly where he was, at the door.
‘Ah. Yes. Hugo. Sorry about him. He’s a freeloader and body heat is his catnip. You should have just kicked him off and turned over.’
‘The cat wasn’t for kicking.’
‘No, you’re probably right. He’s like you. Stubborn and wilful. Now, there’s coffee in the press. Just put a light under it. Actually…’ She slapped the lid of her laptop down and swivelled to a stand. Her toes were painted a bright pink that matched her cheeks. And why he noticed such a small, innocuous detail he couldn’t say. ‘I can finish up for a few minutes if you like. Make you some breakfast. It’s the least I can do for you. Where did you get to on your run?’
Sticking firmly to the wall, he tried to remember a route that he hadn’t paid a great deal of attention to. ‘I stuck to the river path into town, took a detour to see some of the old black and white buildings with the overhanging top storeys and the sagging middles, had a look at the ruined walls, and went down past the railway museum. Pretty place all in all.’
‘Well, that at least means I don’t have to worry about showing you round, apart from the Minster and a proper walk through the Shambles—you’ve got to go see them, everyone else does. You can’t come here and not see all the most famous bits.’ She smiled and it was like sunshine, warming and welcome. He cringed internally at that thought. He was getting too soft. All that work at hardening his heart and she had to start melting it.
No.
It wasn’t going to happen. ‘You don’t have to worry about me. You’re here for your mum. I’ve got calls to make as it is—I need to check up on Joey.’
Busily stacking her files into a pile, she looked up at him. ‘Oh, yes. Let me know how he’s doing. And you’re going to miss your game. I feel very guilty.’
‘Don’t waste your energy. Stay where you are, you’re working. I can fix myself something.’
‘I feel guilty about that too. And about not getting enough work done. I’d planned to get through so much this weekend. I’ve just phoned the ward to see how Mum’s doing and the nurse said she was comfortable and asking for some breakfast.’ She walked through to the kitchen, flicked the heat under a stovetop coffeepot. Then turned to him, biting her bottom lip.
‘Matteo, how am I going to manage to work while I’m here? I know this sounds really mean and very selfish, but I need to be in London. And I need to be here for my mum. I can’t do both. How do people juggle these things?’
His eyebrows rose. ‘It’s very important, this sexual harassment case?’
‘It is to the three women making it. And to the guy who could lose his job and reputation if it turns out he’s been falsely accused—although I doubt it. It’s a delicate issue and I need to be there.’
&nbs
p; ‘Work, work, work. You have to learn to put yourself first. Put family first.’ God forgive him for that. Because when it came to family he chose not to be there too. ‘Is there anyone else who could fill in?’
The coffee fizzed and spluttered and she decanted it into two cups. ‘I have a junior, but he’s still very inexperienced. Becca’s my assistant, but I don’t really know her strengths as yet and this is too important to get wrong. I’d wanted to go through it all with her, have her watch how I do things. Besides, work is me. I am work. And that sounds really sad. But at least it’s clear cut. There’s nothing confusing about getting up every morning and heading in to the office. No room for anything else, like extraneous distractions.’
No room for a life. And that was the way he liked it too, although he was starting to wonder just what he was missing. He trotted out the line he gave his overworked junior staff. ‘Life’s all about the stuff that’s not work, too. No wonder you end up so strung out. Ivy, there is so much more, you just have to give yourself a chance. Couldn’t you postpone the case?’ When she didn’t answer he touched her arm. ‘Ivy? Couldn’t they put it off? How long do you think you need to be here?’
She shrugged. ‘You’re the doctor. How long does she need?’
‘You’re the daughter. Same question.’ It was a challenge that seemed to hit home, but she didn’t show that she understood his inference. It wasn’t his place to tell her what was important in her life. Mio Dio, who was he to judge?
Her smile was genuine. ‘Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a giant insufferable pain in the backside?’
‘All the time.’
‘Does it make a difference?’
He fluttered his eyelashes at her. ‘What do you think?’
‘That you make me crazy.’ She threw her hands in the air in an exasperated gesture that was more Italian than English. He liked it. She made him laugh. She turned him on. Plain and simple.
None of this was simple, he was realising. ‘I think you were crazy long before you met me.’
‘You, Matteo, are everything I hate about men. You’re bossy and…well, bossy. And, well, let’s just say you annoy me. A lot.’
So funny, because she was very definitely not annoyed right now. She was hot and sweet and looking like she needed kissing again. He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger and pulled her to look at him. ‘Aha. But still you kissed me. And not just once.’
‘I was trying you out. Sizing you up.’ This close to that pouting mouth he was very tempted to do it again.
‘And what?’
‘And nothing. Absolutely nothing.’ She flapped a hand at his chest and it struck ever so lightly against his skin. He caught her wrist and she turned full into him, so close he caught her scent mingling with the smell of her shampoo. Saw the dark green of her eyes, the honeyed flecks, all golden and melting. God, she was breathtaking. He wanted to kiss her. To have her, right now, here on the kitchen table. Wanted to be inside her. He wanted her with a passion he’d never had for anyone, ever.
A little dalliance would be fun, but then what? At what cost to both of them? Neither wanted…anything from anyone else. They were two islands of independence with a large ocean of complication between them.
So he tried to make it playful, dropped her hand, gave her a smile. ‘Okay, so take me out for breakfast. And I want to see the Minster that everyone’s so keen on showing me.’
She stepped back and held her wrist—not in pain, no, he hadn’t hurt her—but she just held it close to her chest. Her voice was sultry and shaky, as if she’d just had the best sex of her life—or wanted to. ‘Yes. Good idea, let’s go outside. First, phone about Joey?’
Matteo looked down at his running gear. ‘No. First a shower. I need to get out of these things.’
‘A shower. Okay. Shower…water…over your body…’ Her gaze scanned his face slowly from his eyes to his mouth, where it lingered. The memories of those kisses hovered in the silence. Heat rose within him. Need curled through the kitchen, thick and heavy and tangible.
He took a step back. ‘I’ll go now.’
‘Yes. Do.’
This thing was getting more intense, like a flame that had suddenly erupted into life and was consuming everything in its path, blazing a trail between them. He needed to get away from her before he did something stupid. Like kiss her again. If he didn’t douse himself in cold water he wouldn’t be able to function around her.
‘Wait!’ She walked towards him, the cardigan slipping from her shoulders and falling to the floor. Without a word she walked up the stairs and he followed her, hungry to see what she was doing. Was she going to…? Did she want…? A shower? With him? Was this the beginning?
His heart began a strange thumping against his ribcage and for the first time in his life he felt less than sure of his next move.
She stopped short at a door, turned to look at him and gave him a smile, eyebrows cocked. Then she dragged the door open, reached in and pulled out… ‘Towels, Matteo. I forgot to give them to you last night.’
Mio Dio. He’d thought he was going to have a heart attack. And now she was so close to him he wanted to touch her. To run his fingers through her hair. To feel that soft skin against his. He was hot and hard for her. Every part of him strained for her.
Holding the towels at hip level, he cursed the flimsy running shorts. ‘Thanks. I’ll go. Now…’
‘Just so you know, the shower’s a bit temperamental. Turn the cold water on first then adjust the hot to suit you. That is…’ Glancing towards his nether regions, she gave him a wry but cheeky smile that was so not the buttoned-up Ivy he knew—but was a whole lot more of the Ivy he wanted to get to know. ‘If you want hot at all.’
* * *
The cardiac care ward was locked. Ivy pressed the intercom button and waited. And waited some more. Inside she could see a blur of people running along the corridor. Running. To the blare of a siren. Crap. Her hand hit her mouth as her heart developed a fast, jerky rhythm. ‘What’s happening? What is it?’
She knew what it was.
Matteo’s hand slipped into hers. ‘It’s an emergency. Crash call, I imagine. It’s okay, Ivy. They’re all experts.’
‘Do you think…?’ It’s my mum? She couldn’t get the words out. Pain crushed her chest as she held her breath.
‘Try not to think at all.’ With a gentle smile that shone through his eyes he cradled her head against his chest and she inhaled his now familiar scent, which steadied her nerves. He was solid and strong and she felt safe with him. Apart from the fact that there was an emergency in there. And she was out here. That pain intensified. ‘Put your arms around me,’ he said softly.
‘No.’ She didn’t know whether she’d be able to let go. Whether holding on tight was giving him the wrong message. So, digging deep inside herself, she steadied her reactions. She’d managed this far in her life without needing anyone else. She could manage some more.
He shook his head and took her hand. ‘Don’t think about it, just do it. Hold on.’
‘Oh.’ Her defences worn down, her grip on her mum’s bag lessened. The bag dropped to the floor. Ivy did as she was told, wriggling her arms round his waist, feeling the breadth of him, his warmth. ‘I’m scared.’
‘I know.’ He didn’t give her any pithy pep talks about how fine she would be, how everything would be okay, he just held her. And for that she was grateful. She just took strength from him. Leaning against him, she felt the regular beat of his heart, the unrushed intake of breath. The safety net that she knew would be willing to hold her up if she needed it.
And she wondered what it would be like to be part of something. To be a half of a whole. If that could even happen. All that you complete me stuff wasn’t real, was it? It was something her mum had been looking for her whole life, and had never found. All those wasted years of chasing a ghost.
No, maybe it wasn’t real. But it felt damned nice to be held like this in her worst moments. She’d neve
r had that—not from anyone. Someone to be with her and focus just on her. Someone who seemed to know what she needed without her having to tell them, without her having to strive for their attention.
Eventually the alarm stopped. The rushing slowed and after a few minutes a smiling doctor came to the door. ‘Oh, were you waiting? So sorry. Come on in.’
An air of calm pervaded the place. It was as if the running hadn’t happened. Or as if the doctor took everything in his stride. Like Matteo. So Ivy tried to stop herself from running too. ‘If something bad had happened they’d have stopped me from coming in, right? Surely? They’d take me to one side?’
Matteo nodded. ‘Of course. You think too much, like you expect something bad to happen.’
‘Well, I just want to be prepared if it does.’ Her mum was standing, in an old faded hospital nightie and dressing gown, at the side of her bed, smiling and chatting to a man about her age. Ivy almost ran to her in relief. ‘Hey, Mum. Thank God. You look a lot better today, up and about even.’
Her mum’s face brightened as she gave a hesitant smile. ‘Oh, yes, well, you always look better when they get rid of some of the tubes. This is Richard. He’s visiting my neighbour in bed eight. Funnily enough, he lives on West Mews, just round the corner from us.’
From you. Ivy didn’t live there any more. It wasn’t home. Hadn’t ever been, really. And what now? Her mum chatting someone up already—she really was getting back to normal. ‘Hi, Richard. Mum, what was going on before? That alarm? All those doctors rushing around? That wasn’t…that wasn’t for you?’
‘Oh, that. It was someone in the first bay. Poor chap. I’ll be happy when they move me off here.’
So will I.
‘Hello, Mrs Leigh.’ Matteo stepped forward and Ivy realised she was still holding his hand and that her mum was looking at her strangely.
Her mum’s eyebrows rose. ‘Montgomery. Actually, it’s Dr Montgomery. But that’s okay, you can call me Angela. Everyone does. Has Ivy shown you around the town?’
Tempted by Her Italian Surgeon Page 10
