As the weeks passed, Amy missing her family more and more of each, Adaizi would stay while Mark and Tom went to the soup kitchen. Adaizi battled to soothe Amy’s mind but, even after teaching her meditation and breathing techniques, it was not enough to shift Amy’s resistance.
‘I’m not doing this on purpose,’ Amy complained after a few months of getting nowhere.
‘I know, beautiful. The main problem is your ill feeling towards your higher being.’
‘If I could just invoke the light without the resonating, even if it was painful, I would!’
‘It’s just fear,’ Adaizi said. ‘Ironically, once you’re there and you meet yourself, you’ll have no fear.’ Even though she felt she didn’t understand, Amy smiled at Adaizi.
One cold afternoon in early October, Adaizi sat by her side on the bed and took her hand.
‘I want to talk to you about your higher self. I hope I can get you to relate,’ she said, looking only half confident.
‘Go for it,’ Amy said, with a shrug of her shoulders. ‘Good luck!’ she added with a stubborn smile.
‘You don’t think that’s you up there, huh?’
‘No.’ Amy shrugged.
‘You see Nevaeh as separate?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, she’s not…but I’m now going to speak to you for a moment like she is.’
‘Okay?’
‘Nevaeh is a being of infinite maternal compassion. She loved Tom from the moment she saw his soul rise from the core and trusted her human self to carry that love through to the next world. She knew when she came to Earth that she wouldn’t remember her higher self but…she trusted you, Amy, to do the job!’
Amy sat back and considered her for a moment. Talking about Nevaeh like she was another person made Amy feel different. She now wanted to understand her. ‘She trusts me?’
‘Yeah. She loves you…and all that you’ve become. She feels everything you do. She understands everything you do. She’s watching you at all times. She is stuck in her Omni-Pod until you die and when you do, you will connect. You and Nevaeh will become one.’
‘I don’t want to understand her! I don’t want to change my mind!’ Amy retorted. ‘I’m not having her point of view…’
‘Look, even though you will remember your higher self when you connect, it’s you that has the perspective. You that makes the decisions.’
‘I don’t want her to influence me. She wanted Tom in harm’s way.’
‘She agreed out of love for Tom.’
‘I love Tom!’
‘Exactly.’ Adaizi winked.
Amy rolled her eyes. ‘I want to keep this mind.’
‘You will.’ Adaizi sighed. ‘You will just remember what was before this mind.’
‘Don’t you get it? That’s what I don’t want.’
Adaizi held Amy’s hand. It felt warm and comforting. ‘Nevaeh agreed because of the experiences she’s had. She’s seen what’s happening to Omnipion and what could happen if the Dogod gets his way. She is the Protector of all souls, and she wanted to carry on protecting them the only way she could. But she is now what you are too. Whether you like it or not, if you died now, you would form back into one with Nevaeh. You would instantly know that Nevaeh felt all what you felt along with you, and has become all that you have become too.’
‘Sounds perfectly logical,’ Amy muttered sarcastically, feeling a headache coming on.
‘Nevaeh still learns in Omnipion, as do we all. Nevaeh, my beautiful gal, loves you!’ Adaizi said it this time with so much conviction that it almost brought Amy to tears.
‘Even when she doesn’t agree with me or even when I’m being horrible?’
‘She loves you during every part of your learning.’
‘Seriously? The emotions I have to protect Tom won’t change?’
‘No. She feels them too!’
‘She agrees with me?’
‘Yeah. She still understands why she had to do what she did, but she agrees with you. Visiting your higher self will be like regaining all your lost memories, but this new, beautiful identity you’ve been crafting will still remain.’
Amy tried as hard as she could to soak up Adaizi’s words. She tried to meditate and relax and feel only love for herself but, even though a small part of her fear shifted, she still felt some resistance. It wasn’t the same angst and worry as before, but she was still resisting all the same.
A CONNECTION BETWEEN REALMS
THE ENCOURAGEMENT
Amy found herself stood on a solid, opalescent floor. The dome itself, so elegant and inviting, made her feel lightweight and at ease. A starry night sky draped over the bright surroundings and, as she basked in the feeling of bliss, the shiny, pearl white being drifted towards her, a cool expression on his charming face.
‘You can do this,’ he said, his voice smooth. ‘You can come here, to visit me. There’s nothing to be afraid of.’
I’ve tried, Amy said in her mind. But I’m afraid.
The man’s eyes lit, making the glitter look like it was made of tiny jet stones, and his wings seemed to enlarge and brighten. ‘My goodness,’ he said, ‘you really do have unique powers. You shouldn’t be able to communicate via your dreams until you have been to see me consciously. Like the Bright One, you are special.’
As if her favourite high school teacher had told her she had done well in an examination, Amy felt proud of herself. She smiled at him like she knew him and, as she peered into his deep twilit eyes, a wave of respect for him washed over her. His words resonated with her, and she knew if she could make it to this place, she could trust him.
How do I release the resistance? Amy asked.
‘Trust,’ he answered as his image began to fade.
Wait, Amy shouted in her mind, wanting to cling to him, wanting to hold on to the place, but the light and the stars faded, along with the feeling of bliss.
CHAPTER 20
THE NIGHTMARE
October decided to be colder than any winter Amy had known, and for the first time at the home, the bedrooms were full. There was even the odd overnighter sleeping in the living room. No matter how many came and went, Harold, Mary and George, as well as Mad-Doris, Winston and Jack, just like Amy and Tom, remained part of the fixtures and fittings.
The gym was up and running by mid-October. Over fifty people joined on their first week, making the business an immediate success, but Amy hadn’t joined like she intended. The amount of extra cleaning and cooking Amy did to help with the overload of residents left her too tired to join any classes.
Things began to take a toll on Amy. The pressure she felt to do her best for Adaizi left her feeling drained. The more time that went on, the more worried she became about Ethan and his army. Her anger beginning to subside, all hope of losing resistance gone, she was reduced to feeling like she did before, wanting to find another way out.
Early November, with the home still full, she was woken in the middle of the night by the sound of David’s manic barking. Fearful he would wake the whole household, she rushed into Tom’s room.
‘David!’ Amy hissed crossly under her breath. David ran to her, thankful she came to his call. ‘What is it?’ she asked, scratching his long coat and looking around the room for whatever startled him. Tom sat up sleepily.
‘Hello, sweetheart, did David wake you?’ she asked, edging towards his bed.
‘One minute I was in the light where I live, you know, Omnipion!’ he said, presuming she should know the place. ‘And then the next minute I was looking at Grandma…crying!’ His bottom lip quivered as he spoke the last word.
Amy swallowed hard to relieve the lump in her throat. Just thinking of her parents hurt. They had phoned umpteen times to try and arrange a visit and it was becoming harder for her to think up excuses. ‘You’re not in Omnipion, Tom. You’re here with me.’ She stroked his arm gently.
‘I know I’m here with you, Mum,’ he said, taking comfort from her caress. ‘But I’m in Omnipi
on as well as here. So are you!’ He nodded like he was giving her a lesson. ‘We’re always in Omnipion. We are only sometimes here, you know, when we’re in the Chamber.’
‘Err…’ Amy began, not quite knowing what to say.
‘Normal people can’t go back there because they’re having the Test, but I can. I’m not sure if you can. Are you like me?’
She searched his face in wonder, shocked by the fact that he could find things out for himself in his sleep. The fact that he reminded her she hadn’t been yet stung, but she changed her expression in an attempt to make light of it. ‘Is anyone like you?’ she teased.
‘Yes,’ he asserted, but then his expression grew dark again. ‘It was like I was snatched from Omnipion and put in Grandma’s house…and she was worried!’ His bright shade dimmed a little with his words.
‘You’re not in Grandma’s house,’ Amy said. ‘It was just a bad dream, okay?’
He looked unsure but, his shade brightening, he gave her a half smile. She tucked him in and he fell back to sleep before she left the room. As she switched off the light, Tom’s glistening white shade seemed to leap out a foot from his body, making him look like he was under his own protective shield.
From that night on, David continued to bark the house down. Each time, Tom relayed a different version of the nightmare, which always ended with his grandma crying. One night in late November, as she rushed into his room during the incessant, ear numbing barking, Tom was jerking viciously as if in pain, his bright light flickering on and off.
‘Tom…Tom, are you okay?’ Amy cried, reaching his bed and grabbing him by the arms.
Pouring in sweat, his eyes filled with tears. ‘Granddad was frightened.’
‘Frightened of what?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said, tears rolling from his eyes, ‘but he was so worried.’
‘What about?’
‘I’m not sure, but he was in a place with long corridors. It had signs and a funny smell and I don’t think he was happy with the man who took him into the room. There was a sign on the door that read…err…I can’t remember. I’ve never seen the word before.’ His beautiful, pained face couldn’t have looked more pitiful. Amy peered into his sparkling, petrified eyes and knew with such vivid imagery, there could well be credence to his words.
‘If you can’t remember then maybe it is just a dream?’ Amy suggested. She didn’t know if the suggestion was for Tom or herself at this point.
‘Maybe,’ he said, placing his head back down on the pillow.
The thought of not being able to see her family made her ache at this point. If it weren’t for the fact that Adaizi had agreed she could take the risk for Christmas, Amy would have broken her promise to stay away.
In December, Mark told Tom and Lucy they’d be having holidays like ordinary school but, with Mark’s permission, Tom spent each day teaching Lucy everything she was falling behind on. Even though Lucy still hardly spoke, Amy could tell she was happy for Tom to be taking charge.
‘Come on then, Lucy,’ he said one morning, leaving the table with his bowl and taking it to the sink, ‘let’s get started.’ Lucy stood with her bowl and, with a shy smile to Amy, followed behind Tom. Amy could hear him nattering all the way down to the classroom.
‘What are they up to today?’ Amy asked Mark.
‘Brushing up on biology, I think,’ Mark smiled. ‘You know, if he took his General Certificate of Secondary Education exams now he would be insulted!’
‘He’s not even five yet!’ Jack said, shaking his head.
‘He’s always amazed me, too,’ Winston added.
Harold said nothing; he was too interested in getting the last piece of bacon before George.
‘I could tell from the moment I met him he was clever,’ Mary put in.
‘I fink he maaay be a bit maaad an’ that’s why,’ Mad-Doris said, bits of sausage flying across the table and landing on George as she spoke.
‘I’ll give you mad!’ George threatened, standing and shaking sausage from himself while a few newcomers laughed.
‘Fat!’ she screamed. ‘Ginger and fat!’ she added, her eyes as wide as a startled cat’s. As usual, not one person at the table could tell who they were resting upon.
Amy couldn’t help but laugh. She loved the atmosphere in the home. No matter how crowded it was, the regulars made it feel like it was where she and Tom belonged. Having Jack there gave her a real sense of security but, even when the home was overcrowded like now, she wouldn’t change anyone or anything for the world.
When Tom came back from the soup kitchen that weekend, he seemed full of life. He heard that they desperately needed volunteers for Christmas day and, because they needed more than just Tom and Mark, he told them Amy would help. Amy cringed. The thought of attending the kitchen again with Mark made her feel uncomfortable but, considering the fact that she would have to invite Mark to her mum’s for Christmas dinner anyway for protection, she thought it best she spend the whole day with him. At least that way she wouldn’t have to put up with Adaizi until they got back.
When Amy phoned to ask if she could invite Mark, Joan was delighted. Christmas dinner was usually served at two p.m. each year after opening the presents but Joan, just happy to know she’d be seeing Amy at last, had no problem with them coming later, stating she would serve dinner at four p.m. and that they could open the presents afterwards.
The weeks leading up to Christmas, Amy rushed into Tom’s room every night. Amy wanted to ask her parents if anything was wrong, but she didn’t know how to ask without making Tom look strange.
One night as she reached the foot of Tom’s bed, David still wouldn’t stop barking. When she realised that Tom was crying in his sleep, she shook him gently. ‘Tom?’
‘Mum!’ he cried, flinging his arms around her. ‘It’s Grandma! I’ve never seen her cry like that before.’
‘What do you mean?’ Amy asked.
‘She was hysterical. Granddad was hugging her. It was horrible. I saw in their house. Granddad told Grandma something and she was holding him and crying so much.’
‘It’s just a dream—’
‘I don’t think it was!’ he interrupted. ‘I think it was real.’
‘Are you sure?’ Amy gulped, trying not to show her fear.
Tom thought for a moment. ‘Well, there was a white Christmas tree in the front room.’
‘There you go, then. You know they always have a real tree and they’re green, so I think it was just a dream, okay?’ She smiled and stroked his head.
‘Granddad does always buy the tallest real tree each year. He loves the smell,’ he said like he was trying to convince himself.
‘Listen,’ Amy began, taking his hands, ‘we’ll be seeing them next week for Christmas. I’m sure everything’s okay. They would have told me if not.’
‘Okay,’ he said, taking comfort from her words.
The soup kitchen went well. Amy realised for the first time in her life what Christmas was really about, even if it was only time she gave. Tom, with the wages from his job and money he had saved from his spends, had seen a hat, scarf and gloves set in the pound shop and bought ninety two sets. By a strange coincidence—or not—exactly ninety-two people came and went that day.
Everyone was grateful for the gift Tom gave and by the end of the day, Amy felt the sense of closeness between her and Mark return. She began to see Mark the way she used to. Whether people knew what he was or not, the fact remained that Mark stood out to all to be a genuinely good guy. She must have been the only person in the world that felt any different, unless anyone else was in love with him.
The only thing that worried her was Tom: helping people normally put him in his element, but the whole day he had the same haunted look. Knowing what was on his mind, her heart went over each time she gazed at him. She just hoped, for once, Tom’s nightmare was just a nightmare.
CHAPTER 21
THE DARK PATCH
‘At last!’ Frank shouted
as they arrived at her parents’. He marched into the kitchen and demanded that Joan dish up dinner immediately, even though there were plenty of nibbles around the table and Amy knew he’d have been given a full English breakfast before that. It was, after months of not seeing her family, Alicia who made the first attempt at a polite greeting.
‘Merry Christmas,’ she offered, holding her manicured nails out for Mark to take her hand.
‘Merry Christmas to you too,’ he returned, taking her hand and reluctantly kissing it. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’ Amy noticed he wasn’t impressed. Amy could also see why he wouldn’t be: her shade was the darkest grey she’d ever seen.
Joan shouted her greeting from the kitchen while Thomas came out.
‘Nice to see you again, Mark,’ Thomas said, shaking his hand.
‘It’s nice to see you too, Thomas,’ Mark responded sincerely, but Amy noticed a quizzical look appear on his face when he did. Catching Amy’s eye, Mark changed his expression at once. Before Amy could ask, Joan and Frank brought through casserole dishes filled with vegetables, roast potatoes, parsnips and gravy.
They sat at the beautifully laid table and as the smell of food hit Amy’s nostrils, her stomach gave a loud growl. Once everyone was seated, Joan tapped her knife and fork together, making everyone face her.
‘I would like to say how thankful I am that we are all together for this meal.’ Amy looked at her confusedly; she’d never given a speech before.
‘Hear, hear,’ Thomas offered, raising an empty champagne glass. ‘Oh, I forgot to pour,’ he added, panicking as he stood to reach the bottle of wine in the centre of the table. He popped it open and, looking embarrassed, poured the adults a drink.
Amy thought his behaviour was odd but, as no one else seemed to notice, she held up her glass, smiled and clicked it together with everyone. As Amy and Mark locked eyes and smiled at each other, Joan sighed as if they were a couple. As she did, Amy witnessed Alicia’s shade darken. It was rather strange to watch, especially as her facial expression remained the same: one of faked happiness. Amy wondered how she could keep such a front when she was obviously feeling some kind of peeved envy.
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