Callie looked at Audrey and said nothing.
“Not your business, Audrey,” Mac told her.
“It certainly is my business when my child is here.”
“The doctor said Jason had a virus. His fever is probably gone by now, so he’s fine,” Mac said.
“What about her? She was taking care of him?”
“A damn good thing, too. I left him with her so I could go to the drugstore at four in the morning. I don’t know what I would have done without her,” he said, putting his arm around Callie’s shoulders.
“This is more than a babysitting job? You two sleeping together? Does the administration know this? Does President Lawrence know this?
“It isn’t their business. And it isn’t yours either,” Mac said.
“It might affect your custody, you know. Having illicit sex here with my child in the house.”
“What do you mean illicit? We might be engaged, for all you know,” Mac said.
Audrey looked directly at Callie,
“Are you engaged?”
“Maybe…we might be,” Callie said, blushing, looking at Mac, “yes, we are.”
“Remember, I have the trump card with custody.”
“We’ll see,” Mac said with more confidence than he felt.
“I’m going to Mexico in a few months…and taking Jason with me,”
“You can’t do that!” Mac said, his voice rising.
“I can. And I am. My new boyfriend is starting a business in Mexico and wants me with him. Where I go, Jason goes,” she said.
“You mean my money goes, don’t you? You don’t care about Jason, he’s only a meal ticket to you. Why don’t you let me have him?” Mac asked.
“Don’t push me, Mac. You know what I can do. And I’m taking Jason.”
“Not this time…” he snapped.
“Pack him up. I’ll take him home now. I don’t want to leave him here when he’s sick. He should be with me.”
Callie went into Jason’s room and began to gather up his things. She put his clothes in his backpack.
“Tony,” Jason said. He was standing up in his crib and pointing to a stuffed green turtle on the floor. Callie gave it back to him then gave him a quick kiss.
Soon he was bundled in his snowsuit and ready to go. He seemed to be fever free. Although he wasn’t his usual lively self, he was more normal than the day before. Mac put on shoes and a coat and carried Jason and his bag to Audrey’s car while she got in the front seat and rolled down the window.
“Be careful, Mac. You might be hurting yourself more than you know when you try to cross me. And tootsie in there…I guess she must be good for something.”
“Don’t talk like that about Callie,” Mac warned her.
Audrey gave him a nasty smile and drove away. Mac felt a tug at his heart whenever Audrey took Jason back. Mac stayed out in the cold a few moments longer reluctant to face Callie. Any woman he dated who met Audrey left after one nasty encounter. After all, as long as Jason was around, Audrey and Mac would have some contact. Some women didn’t want exposure to Audrey or the responsibility of Jason and took off.
Mac was afraid to go inside. Would Callie be packing, deciding she didn’t want to deal with Audrey or would she already have left silently by the back door? When he came in, he saw Callie curled up on the sofa, with a mug of hot chocolate in her hand and one on the coffee table for him.
“Sit down,” she said. “We have to talk.”
Here it comes, the kiss-off. He sat down silently. Always let the woman talk first. If she made up her mind, he saved a lot of effort by going along and getting ready to move on. But he didn’t want to move on from Callie.
“What’s the engagement…thing?” Callie asked, turning to face him.
“We get along pretty well…if I was married to you, I’d stand a better chance of getting full custody of Jason…”
“Pretty well?”
“Okay, okay. Very well. And if you’re my wife, you could finish your Masters for free…sort of one hand washing the other.”
“Maybe you get a lot more soap!”
“Putting up with Audrey and helping raise Jason is no picnic. But if anyone could do it, you could, Callie,” Mac replied.
* * * *
The venom from Audrey took Callie’s breath away. She stung from the woman’s words. Mac saying they might be engaged? What was that? The thought of marrying Mac made her heart beat faster, but scared her, too.
Callie didn’t understand Audrey. She didn’t want Mac, she divorced him, so why should she care if Callie wanted him or he wanted Callie? If they actually got married, would a judge give Mac custody of Jason?
She looked into his eyes. He looked like a man in pain. It was the pain of losing her she saw in his eyes, only she didn’t know it.
“I don’t know,” Callie said, stalling for time.
“But you agreed. When Audrey asked you if we were engaged, you said ‘yes.’ Did you mean it?” Mac asked.
“I wasn’t going to contradict you in front of her.”
“I think I know how you feel about me. I know how I feel about you,” Mac declared.
“Do you? Okay. Then how do you feel about me? Because all I’m hearing is an arrangement, not a marriage, not love.”
“What exactly do you think marriage is, Callie? A fantasy? Disney happily ever after? It isn’t. I’ve been there, I know. There is plenty of compromising in marriage, plenty of one hand washing the other. Don’t go all schoolgirl on me.”
Callie sat silently looking at her hands. Without love, no arrangement worked for her. She’d have to compromise…a lot…and if she didn’t love Mac, she couldn’t do it. But she did love Mac…she felt he was the one—even though they knew each other for only a few months, Callie
understood her heart.
“Jason and I have baggage. I’d do everything possible to make it easier on you.”
“What about love, Mac?” she cried.
“What about it? You don’t have to love me, yet,” he said, looking at the floor, hoping she’d contradict him.
She wanted to scream, “But I do love you!” but she couldn’t find her voice. Not until he said how he felt about her. He had to say it first, she needed to hear it from him.
Silence fell upon the two lovers, sitting across from each other separated by an ocean of emotion. Each one wanting the other, each afraid to say so while pride was building a wall, trying to protect what needed to be exposed to be truly protected.
“I think I need some time alone, Mac” Callie said as she stood up to go.
Mac took her arm and pulled her back.
“Don’t walk away from me. This is my whole life here.”
“What about my life? I can’t commit myself to someone who doesn’t love me, no matter how practical you think you’re being. I’m old fashioned and I have to have love. With love I can endure anything, without it I can endure nothing,” Callie exclaimed.
“But I do love you. You’re the one, Callie. When I told you you had my heart, I meant it. Don’t you feel anything for me?” Mac asked.
Callie turned to face him. Tears came to her eyes.
“Of course, I love you! Don’t be an idiot! What do you think I’m talking about? It’s how you feel about me in question here. We know how I feel,” Callie answered, wiping away the tears.
Mac pulled her to him and held her tight while he stroked her hair and she composed herself. He said it, he said he loved her. She could hardly believe Mac loved her, wanted her. But her happiness was mixed with misgivings.
“So, are you proposing to me?” she asked.
“I guess I am.”
“Well….” She coaxed.
“Callie, I love you. Will you marry me?” he said, dropping to one knee.
Callie burst into tears again.
“Great. Is that my answer?” Mac asked, standing up.
Callie stood there trying to pull herself together. Happiness plus doubt brought elatio
n and uncertainty at the same time. Even if we do love each other, how can our love survive a custody battle and a vicious ex-wife? But should I let her drive me away from the man I adore? No.
“No. I mean, yes. Yes, the answer is yes, I think,” she said, smiling through her tears.
Mac kissed her, and then they held each other tight to seal their bond and ward off evil spirits. Callie packed up to head home for some alone time. They agreed to tell no one at the office of their decision.
He drove her home where they sat in the car, kissing for a few minutes. He put his hand on her inner thigh and she closed her eyes, surrendering to his touch. Once again, she felt the pull toward Mac, his passion and energy. He removed his hand slowly, releasing Callie to return home and making her miss going further with him. She reached up and touched his face.
“I hate to leave, but..”
“I know. I know. Alone time. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, kissing her palm, his eyes glittering with restrained desire.
Mac got out of the car and carried Callie’s bag into the house. It seemed at once silly and sweet for him to be toting such a little bag. He gave her a long kiss at the door and she reluctantly went inside. Some of her housemates were struggling with luggage from their return after vacation. Callie sat in the kitchen and chatted over coffee with them.
“What brings you out of your shell, Callie,” asked Emily.
“It takes a while for me to get to know people,” she said.
“Wasn’t that Dean Caldwell’s car I saw outside,” asked Aiden.
“Why do you ask?”
“If you have an ‘in’ with the dean, I want to get to know you better,” he joked.
They turned their attention to the upcoming final exams stressing everyone out. Talk of study groups for physics and literature classes drew the other students together. Callie was the only graduate student there. She quietly slipped away to her room.
She pulled out her books, but couldn’t concentrate. Her thoughts turned to Mac. She was getting married to the man of her dreams. Or was he? She felt uncertain not exactly overwhelmed with happiness, looking toward an exciting and promising future with Mac. Her future was a big question mark…how would it work? Would Mac get full custody of Jason? How much ugliness would there be from Audrey? Surely she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
And if they did get custody of Jason, would he accept her as his mother? What role would she play in his life? She would have to share Mac full time with little Jason. How would she feel? So many questions and so few answers.
Still, when she thought maybe this was a mistake, the idea of being without Mac was unbearable, his sense of humor, intelligence, his warmth, the way he looked at her, touched her, kissed her and made love to her made her heart sing. So she had a choice-wake up every morning enjoying everything wonderful about Mac and deal with life’s challenges together, or wake up every morning alone and deal with the pain of being without him every single day. What if someone else came along without all this baggage? He still wouldn’t be Mac.
She picked up pencil and paper and listed his pluses, then his minuses but Callie knew she couldn’t decide her life based on a list. This wasn’t a question of logic, it was one of feeling. She loved Mac down to her toes, so she would go ahead as they agreed. Callie ripped up the list and threw it away, smiling to herself.
* * * *
Mac got home to a too-quiet house, something he hated. Remnants of Callie’s perfume seemed to be everywhere. He missed her and hoped she wouldn’t change her mind.
He went outside with tidbits from dinner to put on the garbage can for Wilbur and popped open a bottle of beer. Mac sat by the window in the darkened kitchen, waiting for the raccoon to appear. This gave him time to think. He was getting married again but was it the right thing? He realized whether he got full custody of Jason or not, Callie was the one for him, he didn’t want to live the rest of his life without her.
It shook him a little to fully understand how much he loved her. They were so comfortable together, so right. In his thirty-four years, Mac never met a woman like Callie before nor felt this way about any other woman, even Audrey. Especially Audrey! He promised himself, no matter what happened, he must never lose Callie. At this moment, his love for Callie became coupled with Jason in his heart’s pledge to love “now and forever.”
Chapter Eleven
Callie didn’t sleep well. She missed Mac, feeling lonely and unsure. On the way to school the next morning, Callie saw the dirty white van again. She thought of Kyle. What would he say? He would tell her to do what her heart said, to be brave and fight for her happiness. Kyle was the bravest person Callie ever knew—could she measure up?
The next day at work, Callie was uncomfortable. Being so at ease with Mac, wanting to touch him, even kiss him, but she held back. Mac had the same difficulty. He avoided her whenever he could. She did the same. Their distance from each other became obvious to the other office workers and rumors circulated…whispers that they had broken up. Jonesy looked worried. She watched their every move, distracting her from work. She noticed Callie and Mac barely looked at each other. Her brow creased with curiosity and concern, especially when he went into his office, picked up the phone and shut the door.
* * * *
Mac called his lawyer, Steve Michaels.
“Hey, Steve. I’m getting married,” Mac said.
“Whoa! Hey! Where did this come from?” Steve asked.
“Someone I’ve been seeing for a while. Will marriage help my chances to get full custody?”
“Wait a minute, Mac. How long have you been seeing her? This isn’t some hooker you are paying to marry you so you can sue for custody, is it?” Steve asked.
“Steve! You know me better than that! Callie’s great. She’s a grad student.”
“This is a real relationship?”
“Definitely. Don’t make me get mushy on you,”
“Oh God. Don’t. Okay. Okay. I believe you. If this is the real thing, it will substantially improve your chances. But you should get married soon. When is the wedding?”
“We haven’t set a date.”
“What are you waiting for, old man?”
“We decided yesterday, Steve. Give me a break!”
“Okay, okay. Don’t delay. Get married by the end of the year. I’ll research what we can do and when. Bye.”
“Aren’t you going to wish me good luck?”
“Yeah, yeah. Sure. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Thanks for the support, tough guy,” Mac said.
The day seemed to drag on. Mac and Callie spent as much time avoiding each other as they did working. The tension between them was electric. Once in the file room Mac came up behind Callie and put his hands on her waist. She whirled around.
“Oh, Mac!”
They kissed quickly. Then he scooted out right before Jonesy came in. But she had seen their stolen moment and the look on Callie’s face revealed something happened. Jonesy’s brow furrowed and the creases on either side of her mouth deepened. She stared first at Mac’s retreating back, then at Callie’s flushed, guilty-looking face. She shot the young woman a questioning glance but Callie simply looked away and left the room.
Mac felt Jonesy’s gaze on his back as he walked away from the file room. He knew he couldn’t keep this secret from her keen eyes for long. The pressure to avoid Callie was growing unbearable, diverting his attention from his work. He felt drawn to her and compelled to avoid her at the same time. It became obvious he needed to do something. After a few minutes spent lost in thought while he sat staring out the window, he found the solution.
Mac called Callie into his office.
“Can you do dinner tonight or do you have to study?”
“Have to study, but I have to eat, too.”
“How about seven? Let’s go to La Bella Noche.”
“Ooh. Fancy!”
“Why not celebrate?” He suggested, smiling warmly at her.<
br />
Callie returned his smile, nodded and touched his hand. He immediately wrapped his fingers around her small hand and squeezed it. Their gazes connected. She withdrew her hand slowly and left his office to get back to work. Mac stepped next door into Eliza’s office and shut the door.
About an hour later, Mac and Eliza left the office on some excuse. Callie didn’t pay any attention. With Mac out of the office, she could return her full attention to her work.
* * * *
She left the office an hour early to cram in additional studying before dinner. Students preparing for exams alone and in groups filled the living room and kitchen. Students quizzing each other and others taking practice tests on the floor or at the kitchen table made the house buzz. She liked the liveliness although the tension was palpable.
She picked out her best dress, a soft pink silk one showcasing her figure well. Callie was slim, but not skinny. Nicely rounded curves and some meat on her bones made her very attractive.
Mac was right on time. Callie went out quietly so as not to disturb the students studying or the ones asleep on the floor.
“Wow!” Mac said running his gaze up and down her form.
It felt good to be able to kiss him without worrying someone was watching. They lingered in the embrace, both wishing they were somewhere more private. As they drove away, Callie noticed the dirty white van parked in an empty lot. She turned her attention back to Mac.
“It was hard to stay away from you at the office today,” she said.
“I know. It was ridiculous. I was so busy trying not to notice you I couldn’t get anything done,” Mac said.
Mac pulled into the Bella Noche parking lot and turned off the car. He took Callie in his arms for a passionate kiss before releasing her and opening his door. He then went to her side of the car and offered her his hand to help her out of the tall SUV. Lacing his fingers with hers, he preceded her into the restaurant, his other hand resting on a square object in his pants pocket.
They sat at a quiet table in the corner.
“It’s stupid to keep this a secret. It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong or it’s anyone else’s business anyway,” Mac said.
A Love Story Page 8
