“Oh, yes it can and it is. Mac wasn’t the only man I was dating back then. If you hadn’t forced the issue with your stupid custody thing, I wouldn’t have done this,” Audrey said.
“But you didn’t want Jason, you said so,” Mac said.
“That was then and this is now. I thought Sidney didn’t want kids. Turns out, he likes my Jason okay. So I’m taking him to Mexico.”
“But you’ll lose the support payments,” Mac argued.
“Yeah, so? Sidney has plenty of money. I don’t need you anymore, Mac and neither does Jason. Hey, Princess. Get him ready to go. I got a lot of stuff to do before we leave,” Audrey said.
Mac ran to the kitchen, called Steve Michaels and read the document to him.
“Tell me it’s trumped up, Steve. Tell me this isn’t real,” Mac said.
“I’m sorry, Mac. It sounds real to me. I can look it over, but if you don’t have anything to disprove it. You didn’t do a paternity test, did you?”
“I thought he was mine. Audrey never hinted otherwise.”
“This isn’t the first time for this kind of thing.”
“Not much comfort as I’m about to lose Jason,” Mac replied, angry.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think there is anything I can do.”
Mac went back into the living room. He felt angry and defeated at the same time. Rage boiled in him then turned into an overwhelming sadness.
“Here are your papers back. Not worth much, now.”
Callie got up and got Jason as Mac was close to tears.
The little boy came running into the room and threw himself at Mac’s legs.
“Daddy! Daddy! Fire engine,” he said.
Mac instinctively hugged the child.
“Take the fire engine with you to Mom’s,” he said, stroking the toddler’s hair.
“How generous of you. It must be his favorite toy,” Audrey said.
“It is,” Callie said.
“Pack up the rest of his clothes, you certainly won’t need them here,” Audrey snapped.
Her words stung like a slap across his face. He stared at Callie and nodded slightly. She disappeared into the boy’s bedroom and packed up Jason’s remaining clothes.
“Mac, why don’t you take him out to the car so you can say good-bye there in private,” Audrey said.
“Callie, Callie, good-bye, good-bye,” Jason said, hugging her legs.
Callie hugged him while tears she blinked back refused to be contained any longer.
“Callie crying?” Jason asked, puzzled.
“I’m sad you’re leaving,” she admitted.
“See you next week!” Jason parroted what Callie always said to him on Sundays.
Callie gave a limp smile and turned him over to Mac. She glanced at Mac’s face, went into the bedroom and shut the door. Audrey laughed.
“What’s she so sad for? He isn’t her kid. I thought she’d be relieved.”
“Shows how little you know Callie,” Mac said, looking down at his hands, trying to absorb what was happening to him.
“Let’s go, buddy, I’ll put you in the car seat myself.”
Mac picked up Jason and carried him to the car for the last time, leaving Audrey to lug Jason’s two suitcases by herself.
Audrey put her hand on Mac’s arm, he shrugged it off, staring at her with angry eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mac. You left me no option,” Audrey insisted.
“What?”
“You tried to take my son away,” she explained.
“You would have had visitation, like I do.”
“But I’m his mother, Mac.”
“Some mother! You’re out late every night. You drink too much, sleep with different guys all the time…” he accused, hotly.
“I don’t have strange guys in the apartment when Jason is with me.”
“What about last October?”
“Well…well…that was an exception.”
“Don’t tell me you’re the devoted mother, Audrey,” Mac spat back, his eyes blazing.
“Okay, okay. I’m not home baking cookies. But he’s my kid, Mac. You want to take him away, humiliate me in front of everyone…” she confessed.
“This is about Jason, Audrey, not about you. I did what is best for him. He needs stability. And he would get it here.”
“You forced me to do this. Now I have to go with Sidney. And it’s your fault,” Audrey countered.
“If you believe that you’re nuts.”
She touched his arm again but he looked away in anger and defeat.
“I’m sorry, Mac.”
* * * *
Audrey got in the car and started the engine. She didn’t feel as satisfied as she expected. When he got engaged, she was scared she would lose Jason. Now he was married and trying to take Jason away, she swore she would do anything she could to hurt him—she had to stop him and this was the only way.
Audrey knew Jason wasn’t Mac’s kid when she married him and the marriage wouldn’t last. Mac could never go along with her lifestyle. Marrying him was her only option. She wasn’t cut out to be a single mother. This way, she’d get a dad for the child and when the marriage blew apart, she’d collect alimony and child support payments. It was a slam dunk to Audrey.
Mac didn’t seem to mind, he loved being Jason’s father and the child loved him.
The arrangement worked perfectly for Audrey. Now he was married, Audrey knew he would file for sole custody, so she was ready. She kept the paternity papers on hand, in preparation for Mac making a move to take Jason.
She held the trump card. She won. She should be happy. But she wasn’t and her triumph left a bitter taste. While she made Mac miserable, there wasn’t anything in it for her. Deep down in her heart, she knew she’d done a bad thing. What about Jason? He’ll get over it, he’s young. Soon he’ll be calling Sidney “daddy”. He’ll be sad for a couple of weeks, and then he’ll forget all about Mac. And Sidney can provide all the money she needs to buy Jason’s happiness and hers, too. Audrey longed to get out of there and stop these thoughts.
* * * *
Mac kissed Jason, hugged him and held his face in his hands. This view would have to last him a lifetime. He could hardly breathe, choking back tears while trying to smile. Jason grinned.
“Love you, Daddy,” Jason said.
“I love you, too,” Mac choked out.
He reluctantly got out and closed Jason’s door then lifted his hand to wave. Jason held the fire engine up and waved it. Mac felt his heart break and turned away so Jason wouldn’t see the tears he could no longer hold back as the car pulled away.
He went in the house closing the front door gently, leaning up against it for support. He felt like someone kicked him hard in the stomach, as he couldn’t catch his breath. Collapsing to his knees, he put his face in his hands and cried. Callie was at his side instantly, but he turned away, embarrassed at his raw show of emotion. She pulled him to her, hugging him quietly while he wept. She looked in his eyes and could see the look of the overwhelming pain of a father who has lost his beloved son. She cried, too, as they clung to each other. Mac went into the bedroom, fell on the bed and was asleep within minutes. On the way to the kitchen, Callie closed the door to Jason’s empty room.
Chapter Twenty
As much as Callie and Mac tried to keep this personal tragedy to themselves, they couldn’t. Audrey didn’t bring Jason on Fridays anymore. They told everyone Jason and Audrey went to Mexico and they didn’t know when they were returning. Mac stopped smiling and Callie got quiet. There were no more kisses in the file room, no more hand squeezes in the office. Jonesy knew something terrible had happened but wouldn’t embarrass them by asking. She was forced to stand by silently and watch their pain.
Mac tried to concentrate on work, but it was difficult to get anything done. He lost his son as sure as if Jason had died. Callie recognized his grieving because she went through it herself. Callie was sad as well. She loved Jason, too. She tried to comfo
rt Mac, but he couldn’t be consoled. He accepted her affection, but it did nothing to make him feel better. Mac shut down. She understood only time could heal him, but she feared she would lose him, he no longer needed her.
Her fairytale was over now Mac was preoccupied, asleep or at work most of the time. Still, Callie was no stranger to adversity. She was a fighter who believed they could tough their way through anything if they stayed together. Kyle taught her to be strong and never give up, his motto, and it became hers too.
When she couldn’t find Mac, he often turned up hanging out in Jason’s room. Mac looked at pictures, fooled with his toys or sat in the rocking chair looking out the window.
“Mac, perhaps we should pack up Jason’s things and put them in the attic,” Callie said one morning when she found him there.
He shook his head.
“But coming in here upsets you. It doesn’t make things better to keep his room like a shrine.”
“I like to come here. It helps me,” he responded.
“When you come out you’re more depressed,” she insisted.
“I remember you telling me something about how forcing yourself to forget didn’t help. And how keeping mementos and looking at them helped you to keep the good memories. Pretending Kyle didn’t exist only made things worse. Packing up this room would be like throwing out your chest of memories in the closet,” he threw back at her.
Ashamed at her insensitivity, Callie apologized.
“I’m so sorry, Mac. You’re right. If you need to keep things like they are, I understand,” she said giving him a hug.
Callie put in extra time on her studies when Mac worked late. But she had a hard time concentrating, wondering what would happen to them. If their marriage was to survive, they had to lean on each other, but Mac was uncommunicative, he seemed so far away.
For the next three weeks, life would be work and sleep for Mac. He worked late every night because it took him twice as long to get things done. He came home to eat and fall into bed asleep by nine o’clock. Callie felt lonely but she understood.
During the night, Mac slept restlessly. Sometimes he awoke with a jolt from a bad dream and Callie put her arms around him until he went back to sleep. Lovemaking had been Mac’s way of reconnecting with Callie after a fight or when they were preoccupied or apart. In the past several weeks, they had not made love at all. Overwhelmed with problems at school and the loss of Jason, Mac came home and crashed and Callie didn’t have the heart to wake him.
She felt frustrated and alone. She longed to feel his touch and disappear into his arms. She wanted to laugh at his pranks and listen to his stories, but now he was silent and sad. He had always seemed so strong and present, not beyond her reach like he was lately. She had to do something, it was time for her to take action. Callie formulated a plan.
* * * *
Mac met with the task force to brainstorm other ways to smoke out the drug dealers. He was fielding questions from parents about campus security and dealing with another overdose victim. It was a busy day.
Callie called to ask him to come home early.
“Not a good day, today, Callie,” he said.
“Please, Mac. I’m making a special dinner and I want you to be awake for it,” she pleaded.
Mac knew he was neglecting Callie. With his work being busier than ever and Jason on his mind, Callie took a backseat, so he gave in.
“What time?”
“Six-thirty?”
“Done. See you then.”
At five o’clock, President Lawrence stuck his head in Mac’s office.
“Let’s meet in an hour. I’d like to get up-to-speed on your plans for the task force, Mac.”
“Can we make it later?”
“What time?”
“Damn. I promised Callie I’d be home for dinner at six-thirty tonight. She’s making some special dinner. Why don’t you come along, John?”
“I can’t intrude on a special dinner, Mac,” he said.
“It’s nothing. She’s probably making my favorite meal, pot roast. Callie makes a fine pot roast. Why don’t you come home with me and after dinner I can tell you where we are.”
“Annika will kill me because pot roast is on the forbidden list, but I love a good pot roast. I’m not cheating tonight, its business, right? You twisted my arm, Mac,” he said, smiling.
At six fifteen, after Mac packed up his briefcase, he and John left for the short walk home. Neither Mac nor John saw the white van parked in the empty lot across the street from the office.
Callie was standing in the hall by the bedroom, tapping her foot, wiping her palms on her bathrobe. Everything was set. When she heard the key turn in the lock and Mac’s voice, she said,
“Welcome home!”
Callie whirled around and threw her pink terry robe open, revealing her body clad in nothing but black thigh-high stockings and stiletto heels—thick black mascara and eyeliner emphasized her turquoise eyes. Mac’s mouth fell open. Right behind him was John Lawrence, who marched in, took one look at Callie and turned around to face the door.
She gasped, eyes wide and closed her robe.
“I guess tonight was the wrong night to surprise Callie. Seems she already had a surprise cooked up for you, Mac,” John said, smiling.
Callie ran into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. Mac’s face turned bright red. He didn’t know what to say to John who patted him on the shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, John, I had no idea…”Mac sputtered.
“Oh, I’m sure. Don’t worry about this, Mac. Go be with your wife. Forget the pot roast. Hey, I never get greeted like that when I come home. You’re a lucky man.”
John walked out, closing the front door quietly. Mac opened the bedroom door. Callie was sitting on the bed, dissolved in tears. Her heavy black make-up didn’t look so sexy running down her face.
“Callie, why didn’t you tell me?”
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Callie said, trying to stop crying.
“I certainly was surprised!” Mac admitted, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile.
“Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing John home? What he must think of me! Oh, horrors! I can’t go back to the office. Look at me. What could I have been thinking?”
Mac looked at her stained face, naked body and black stockings and burst out laughing.
Callie stared at him.
“It’s not funny,” she said, frowning at him.
“But it is. Callie look at you. Dressed up like some…some dominatrix. Why?” Mac asked, trying not to laugh but not succeeding.
“Because we haven’t made love in so long. I thought you were bored or tired of me. I wanted to spice things up a little for you,” she confessed.
“Bored with you? Look at you, you’re beautiful! Look at your thick hair, your incredible body, your face…well maybe not your face right this second, I could never be bored with you!”
“Why have you been so unavailable?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been pre-occupied with things at school, the workload doubled with this drug thing and there’s Jason…”
“But I’m here. I need you, too, Mac, please don’t desert me,” she cried.
“Come here. Come here,” he said, opening his arms to her.
Mac took Callie in his arms and held her until she quieted down. Over his shoulder she got a look at herself in the mirror. Her hair was all teased up; her make-up was all over her face. Callie burst out laughing despite herself.
“I look like a hooker!”
“Why don’t you go wipe the stuff off your face and let’s start over.”
When Callie came out of the bathroom, Mac had undressed down to his boxers.
“Commere,” he said.
She trotted over to him.
“You look beautiful,” he said, taking her in his arms.
Mac gave her the long, deep kiss she desired. He pulled her down on the bed. Tender and exciting, bold and
intimate, the lovers entwined their hearts and bodies again and became one.
* * * *
“I’m not going into work today,” Callie said over breakfast the next morning.
“Why not?”
“I can’t face John Lawrence. I’m never going back,” Callie stated.
“You can’t be serious? John is an understanding man. You may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but he won’t make any reference to last night. In five minutes you’ll forget all about it.”
“I won’t. I won’t ever forget it,” Callie said.
“John’s been married for a long time. He knows about the crazy stuff women do,”
“Crazy?”
“Come on, Callie. Your performance was pretty out there.”
“At least I got your attention,” she said.
“You did,” he acknowledged.
“I made you laugh.”
“You did.”
“It actually worked…sort of,” she said.
“You mean you got what you wanted?”
“I got what we wanted,” she corrected.
“True, true,” he said, smiling.
“You seemed to have a pretty good time,” she said, cocking an eyebrow at him.
“I always do, with you. I always do. Maybe next time you could try something a little more direct,”
“I was very direct,” she said. “Maybe next time I ask you to come home early for a special dinner, you could tell me if you’re bringing company…so I’ll know to dress.”
“Instead of coming to the door naked?”
“Yah!” she said, laughing.
“You’re a cute siren. Full of surprises,” he said, kissing her as he got up from the table.
When Callie got to the office, John Lawrence was already behind closed doors. She was relieved to see people coming in and out of his office; it looked like he’d be occupied for a while. Callie turned her attention to the mountain of work on her desk. About an hour later, John came out and stopped by Callie’s desk. She looked up and immediately started to blush.
“So sorry I couldn’t make it to dinner last night, Callie. I hope you will invite me again. Mac says you make a great pot roast,” John said, taking her hand.
A Love Story Page 14
