by C. Shell
The air is charged with tension. I can practically hear my dad’s teeth grinding together. I sit back and hold my breath. I don’t know my father well enough to say how he will react to Dex’s prodding. Is he a screamer, a fighter, or is he one of those people who stay calm and bottle it all up until they pop? He could be a raging psycho, and I wouldn’t be the wiser.
Folding his hands in his lap, dad lifts his chin. When he looks at Dex, his expression hardens. “She plans to keep her job with me. Cindy enjoys the work she does. I see no reason to replace her.”
Dex’s smile turns dark. The faint lines around his mouth stand out in the dim lighting. I lightly jump in my seat when I feel a hand lightly grip my thigh. Dex never takes his eyes off my father as he gently strokes my skin under the table. For whatever reason, he seems pleased with himself, which confuses me further. Sensing the mounting tension in the room, Jimmie jumps in and tries to steer the conversation to something less explosive.
“I hate that you’re going to miss my next game, Dad. We’re going up against this preppy team who's been talking trash about us since the opening season. They’ve got a few aggressive forward players, but their defense sucks. I’m going to enjoy showing them who’s boss. Their pansy asses won’t know what hit them. They don’t stand a chance against our team.”
My dad’s demeanor is relaxed again. He leans back in his chair and chuckles as he listens to my brother brag about his team's winning streak. “That’s great son. Maybe your mom or sister can record it for me. I wish I could be there to see you play. Your mom has been talking nonstop about how great you all are.”
“Speaking of that,” Nate chimes in, giving my dad a steady look before focusing his attention on Jimmie. “Coach pulled Dex aside today. He’s worried about you. Said your head hasn’t been in the game this past week and wanted to know what’s going on with you.” Dex and Nate both turn and stare my father down. A chill races down my spine at their heated expressions. Nate continues talking. “Coach said if you don’t pull it together by game time you’ll be benched at the start and won’t see any action until after half-time.”
My mother makes a horrible gasping sound. Dex reaches over and gives her arm a comforting squeeze. Her concerned eyes raise and lock with Jimmie’s angered ones. “Jimmie, did you know about this? Coach has never threatened to sit you out before. You’re one of the top players. What is this all about?”
Jimmie’s jaw goes rigid. The guys have never outed him on anything before in front of my mother. Them doing so now is monumental. This night is turning out worse than I imagined. I get why Dex and Nate are upset with my dad, he’s dickweed and deserves the abuse they throw his way, but not Jimmie. My heart pounds like a sledgehammer as I see the hurt in my brother’s expression. Embarrassing Jimmie in front of my parents is a shitty move. Right now I’m torn from being distraught to livid. The CW Boys have gone too far this time.
I swear the temperature in the room has dropped ten degrees since dinner was first served. Jimmie doesn’t look at the guys as he speaks to my mom, but I can tell by his rigid posture that he’s fuming. “No, I wasn’t aware Coach felt that way. I’ve been a bit distracted lately. Nothing severe enough to cause Coach to penalize me.” He gives my mother a shy smile. “Don’t worry about it mom, I’ll get everything smoothed over. I’m sure Coach is just trying to scare me.”
“Please do,” Mom replies, sounding exasperated. The worry lines on her forehead don’t disappear, but they do lessen to a degree that loosens the tightness taking up residence in my chest. I pick at the last few bites of my salad wishing this damn dinner would be over soon.
A hot poker to the ass would be more enjoyable than sitting through this catastrophe.
From the corner of my eye, I note that Mom and Dad have begun an artless conversation about the weather and other non-important things while the guys and I continue to stare at our food in silence. I ignore the feel of eyes on me as I push another tomato to the side of my plate. I’ve always hated red vegetables. With an exasperated sigh, Dex excuses himself and stomps into the kitchen.
“Any other surprises you feel like publicly dropping on me?” Jimmie whisper yells to Nate, his low, firm voice cutting through the silence like a sharp knife.
“We weren’t trying to ruffle your feathers. People are worried about you. More than just us. You’ve been acting different lately. Since your dad arrived in town, you’ve neglected two practices without giving Coach an explanation. You’ve never missed more than one since freshman year. Last spring when you had the flu, you showed up despite the fact you were running a high fever. If Coach hadn’t threatened to send your ass to the hospital, you would have kept trying to play.”
Jimmie’s jaw flexes. “I get what you’re saying. I’ll talk to Coach tomorrow and clear this shit up. The next time you have something to say to me do it privately. Ambushing me like that in front of my family is fucked up, even for you Nate.”
“We’re your family too,” Nate retorts, his voice stone-cold. I draw back in surprise at how much hurt is laced in his words. I feel like I should give them some privacy but I have nowhere to go, so instead I sit quietly and try to make myself as small as possible. “We’ve always had your back, and that won’t end just because you’ve got your daddy back in your life. We were here for you when he wasn’t. Don’t forget that, Jimmie.”
“I know that,” Jimmie admits. The two of them do one of those manly fist bumps right as Dex strolls back into the room. Taking his seat beside me, he slides a plate stacked high with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of me. I stifle a giggle and plant a hand in front of my dopey smile as I survey the sandwiches, seeing as all the crusts have been roughly ripped off the sides.
Damn that is really sweet. He remembered how much the crusts creep me out.
My parents’ conversation ceases and one by one all heads turn in my direction. My smile gets bigger by the second despite my dad’s face morphing into a nasty scowl. Without warning, his hand strikes the table with enough force to have us all jumping in our seats. “She hasn’t even touched her shrimp alfredo yet.” He points a meaty finger at my plate. “Addison is old enough to eat what’s given to her. I worked hard on that dinner and don’t appreciate it going to waste,” my father complains. His gaze pierces mine, filled with a dark emotion that has my stomach sinking to the bottom of my toes. Leaning back in his seat, he crosses his arms firmly over his puffed out chest.
The clank from my fork hitting my plate resonates through the quiet room. A deep flush creeps up my mom’s neck. For once she doesn’t try to smooth things over. We’re way past that. This dinner was a mistake from the beginning. I’m so tired of playing the dutiful daughter. We are not a happy family. I’m not sure we ever were, so why keep pretending?
I mimic my father’s stance. Sucking in a breath, I release it in a rush of words, “Are we done here? I’m tired. Keeping this stupid charade going is exhausting.”
Dex lets out a cynical laugh that sends goosebumps sprinting up my arms. His beautiful pale blue eyes turn dark. The storm brewing within them begs to be let loose. If my dad weren't such a chump, I would feel sorry for him, but I don’t. I can’t. He brought this upon himself with his stupid assumptions. If he took the time to know us, then this could’ve been avoided. As the saying goes, knowledge is power.
Mom jumps to life and tries to gather my dad’s attention but her voice can’t be heard over the roar that is Dex. “Your daughter, the one that you claim to know and love, can’t eat the food you made because she is highly allergic to shellfish.” He motions to my untouched plate. “If she ate that, she could go into anaphylactic shock. Why don’t you stop trying to force your way into your kid’s lives and spend more time learning about them?”
Dad draws in a deep breath. His eyes dance around the room before landing heavily on me. Catching his gaze, I expect to see more anger reflecting back at me. Instead, I see nothing but shame. “Your allergic to shrimp.” It isn’t a question but
a statement. The corner of his mouth turns down. “I’m sorry Addison, I had no idea. I should’ve know, but I didn’t.”
My hands start to sweat from the weight of everyone’s stares. I’ve never enjoyed being in the spotlight. My mouth opens and closes several times, and not once does a sound come out. Dad watches me carefully. I think he’s waiting for me to tell him that everything is fine. He wants forgiveness. He’s going to be waiting a long while for that.
Sorry daddy. Not this time.
I’m not okay with this or anything else that he’s done since storming back into our lives like he belongs here. I’m furious at him and his presumptuous ways. A few holiday cards and a phone call twice a month is the only thing keeping us from being complete strangers. A father should know things about their child, such as their favorite color, best friends' name, their aspirations in life, what they’re afraid of, and what foods they’re allergic too. He knows none of these things, and that makes my outrage climb.
Jimmie coughs into his hand, then speaks. “Dad, thanks for giving mom’s culinary skills a night off. The guys and I have things to do.” He gives the CW boys a look, one of those knowing ones that speak of a silent language only they understand. Moving as one, Nate and Dex stand and follow him out of the room.
Mom’s body sags into her chair. I’ve never seen her look so small or defeated before. She gives me a soft smile, one that says, she understands and that it is all going to be okay. I wish I could believe that. This isn’t one of those sweet fairy tales she used to read to me when I was little. Happy endings don’t happen in real life. At least none, that I’ve seen.
It isn’t until Jimmie reaches the front door that his voice calls out to me. “You coming Addy Bear?”
My head jerks up. Dad turns to me, his eyes pleading with me to stay. I draw in a shuttering breath and hold his gaze, despite the way my body trembles. “I appreciate you trying dad, but I think we can all agree that you coming here was a mistake. You can’t pop in after all these years and expect us to accept you with open arms. Give us time to get to know you and vice versa. I’ll come to the wedding. I’ll even be nice to Cindy, but that’s where it ends. Florida is my home now. This is where my family and friends reside and where I want to be. I’m not going to live with you. If you want a relationship with me, then you need to put in the time and effort it deserves.” Thankfully, my voice holds steady in spite of the tremors racking my insides.
As Cammy would say, “fake it, to you make it.”
Nate moves forward and holds out a hand toward me. Every taunt line in his body radiates power and strength, two things I desperately yearn. “Come on Addy. Let’s get out of here.”
My dad’s injured expression doesn’t cut me as deeply as I expected it would. Turning my back on him, I dash across the room and clasp Nate’s hand in mine. Our fingers intertwine and I allow him to lead me out the door as I fight to catch my breath. So many emotions are battling inside me that I’m not sure how I feel right now.
Turning my back on my father might have been a shitty move, but this horrible dinner taught me one important lesson – No matter the obstacles placed in front of us, as long as we have each other’s backs and work as a family unit, we can conquer anything.
Chapter Twelve
An arm slides around my waist and pulls me close. Exhaustion consumes me as I nuzzle my head against Dex’s chest. His alluring scent of man and musk blends with the delicate fabric softener my mom use’s on the sheets, dragging my memories back to our youth when we used to make forts in the back yard. My sleepy voice cracks as I speak. “We need to get ready for school. You should probably sneak out before someone realizes you’re here. I doubt mom would think much about it, she’s too used to seeing you around here at all hours, but Jimmie is a different story.”
Dex chuckles and pulls me closer. I blink a few times, willing my sleepy eyes to stay open. I lick my parched lips. “I’m serious. As nice as this is, you need to go.”
Dex props up on the heap of pillows stashed behind him. Even tired with his hair standing in all directions and his eyes heavy with sleep, he looks downright sexy. So not fair. “You can’t hide me forever,” Dex warns, his face so close that if I lean in an inch our mouths would touch. “I won’t be your dirty little secret. In fact, why don’t we go tell everyone the good news right now?”
I poke my finger into his chest, trying not to think about how bare and muscular it is. Or how warm it felt against me moments ago. I shake my head to clear it. Hormones and lust are a hard thing to combat and my anger isn’t making much a dent in mine. “Don’t try bullying me, Dexter. You might scare most people with your huffing and puffing, but I’ve never fallen for your shit and I don’t plan to start now.” I peer at him through my lashes. “The idea of there being an us is still new to me. Don’t be so damn pushy when all I’m trying to do is keep my brother from getting hurt. I honestly don’t know the best way to break it to him. I don’t want him mad at us.”
“I respect your need to shelter Jimmie, but he isn’t a child and the longer you hide this from him, the more hurt he’ll be when he finds out.”
I absorb his words, letting them rattle around in my brain for a moment before relaxing in his arms.
I’m half expecting him to throw me an ultimatum, which would be a nightmare, instead he surprises me by being sweet. “I’ll leave, but first, tell me how you’re feeling.” His chest rises as he speaks, making my body lift with it. I place the palm of my hand over his bare skin and relish the way his heart beats a steady rhythm against it.
“Better but tired. I wish I could play sick and stay curled up in bed all day. If I didn’t have a test in history I would do just that. Maybe catch up on some television, eat too much junk food, and be a complete bum.”
His gentle laugh is infectious, and a small smile tilts my lips. As my mind recalls our night together my smile increases to its full size. After leaving my house, the guys drove us to a local restaurant where we ordered several hamburgers, fried chicken, a plate full of spaghetti and a mammoth sized bowl of banana pudding for dessert. I’m ashamed to admit that we ate it all, leaving not one crumb behind. I’ll be running laps for the next two weeks to burn it all off, but it was well worth it. Light conversation carried through the night and never once was my father, or his dubious dinner brought into the mix. Our bellies were stuffed to the max by the time we left. Tiptoeing through the front door, Jimmie and I were prepared for mom to be waiting up for us. Glancing around I was surprised to find the room empty, not one parental figure awaiting our return.
Determined it was a trap, I ran upstairs to shower and get ready for bed before mom changed her mind. Curled up under my comforter, I laid there for what felt like hours. No matter what I did, sleep continued to evade me. It was around one in the morning when I heard the first pebble hit my bedroom window. At first, I was scared someone was trying to break in until common sense over road my irrational side and I realized that most burglars didn’t alert you to their whereabouts or ask to be let in. Throwing off the covers that I was stealthily hiding under, I darted across the room.
Peeling the curtain back, I found Dex standing in the middle of my mom’s begonia bushes staring up at me. I cracked open the window pane and watched in a daze as he gripped the oak tree by the side of the house and effortlessly climbed until his face was even with mine. Swinging his body around a thick branch, Dex used the momentum to hurl himself across the threshold of my room.
I bit back a giggle. “I never knew you had a little bit monkey in your DNA,” I say, my tone stuck between awe and confusion. “It’s kind of early to be picking me up for school. “What are you doing here?”
Dex flicked a smirk my way. “I was worried about you and couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk. I saw your light on and figured you couldn’t sleep either. Since I’ve counted enough sheep to last me a lifetime, I thought maybe we could fight the Sandman together.”
Disbelief contorted my face as I stood w
ith arms crossed over my chest. “You’re right about me still being up, but your story doesn’t pan out.” I point to my side table and the lamp perched atop it. “My light wasn’t on.”
Dex smiled a grin that showed off his sexy dimples. “Really? I could’ve sworn I saw a light on. Must have been a glare from the street lamp. Well, too late to backtrack now. Might as well stay and keep you company.”
Despite the summersaults my tummy was doing, I allowed Dex to stay. I’m not sure why I didn’t pressure him to leave, but if anyone ever asks, I’m blaming it on a brain malfunction due to lack of sleep. When Dex stripped off his outer clothing and climbed in next to me wearing only a thin pair of boxers, I had to fight to keep my wits about me. My hands ached to trace every dip and curve exposed on his broad chest and taunt abs. No guy should be that beautiful.
Giving me a cheesy grin, he pulled me to his side and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. My heart did a happy dance when he started drawing little letters on my arm with his finger. It’s a game we used to play when we were younger. One of us would close our eyes while the other drew shapes, letters, or words on their skin using only their fingertips. You were allowed three chances to figure out what the other one drew before you lost.
My skin still tingles where he etched the words Forever Mine onto my arm.
As I curled up against him, all the troubles that had been weighing on my mind floated away. Like a balloon being swept away by the wind, I felt free and lighter than ever as we snuggled under the covers and watched back episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I’m not sure when it happened, but sometime after the third show, we both nodded off.
Dex’s gruff voice drags me back into the present. “Should I scale down the tree or do you think I can make it out the front door before anyone notices me?” Dex’s face looks worried, which is an expression that looks wrong on his handsome face.
