by Gwyn McNamee
It’s not like I don’t understand her desire to protect Savage. I get it. I really do. The stuff he went through, physically and emotionally, would leave most people fragile and easily taken advantage-of. But Savage is different. He’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met—on all levels—and he’s smart enough to know what he wants and what’s good for him.
“It was good. I guess. His youngest sister, Skye, is a bit of a bitch, but I can deal with her.”
“Is that the one whose twin died?”
“Yeah, so they tend to cut her a little more slack than anyone else, but she was distinctly hostile toward me all night. Thankfully, Gabe helped the Hawkes tame her.”
Caroline’s eyes light up at the mention of Gabe. “Ooo…sexy special forces man was there?”
I roll my eyes and take a bite of my sandwich. Caroline has developed a rather unhealthy crush on Gabe, even though they’ve only met twice and only briefly. The last thing I need is for her to be another notch in his belt. That would make for a lot of awkwardness in the future for both me and Savage.
“Yes, Gabe was there. But leave it alone, Caroline. He’s not the guy for you. He would fuck you and leave you miserable the next day.”
She scoffs and has the balls to try to look offended by my concern. “What are you? My mom? Maybe I just need a good lay and don’t mind being tossed like a used condom!”
My stomach tightens at the sex reference. It has been months, and still, no sex. Savage is a fucking animal in bed, never satisfied with pleasuring me once, sometimes making me come so many times I don’t think I will ever be able to move from that bed again when he’s done.
I squeeze my legs together at the delicious memory, but, still, he deflects all my attempts to consummate our relationship, and my vagina is starting to develop cobwebs. I’ve barely been able to get him to let me blow him. He lets me, but there’s always something dark deep in his eyes that I just can’t read.
It’s not that I don’t think he wants to fuck me. I’m positive he does, but something is stopping him and I have no fucking clue what it is.
“Seriously, Dani, I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. Just because you get to snuggle with Savage after you fuck doesn’t mean I need that to have a good time with Gabe.”
I cringe and the guilt about not revealing the sex situation to Caroline creeps up. After all, she is my best friend, and usually, my sex confidant. But, for some reason, what goes on with Savage is something I want to keep to myself. I have absolutely zero desire to share it with her, and I don’t care to examine why right now.
Turn it back to her.
“I’m sorry, Care, but I can’t not warn you. He’s the definition of a player. You should see the string of women who stagger out of his condo in the morning.”
She grins and winks at me. “If they aren’t walking straight, then he’s definitely doing something right.”
Can’t argue with that logic.
“True…look, do what you want, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
After sticking her tongue out at me in the most adult way possible, she laughs. “Yes, Mom. I have been duly warned and I appreciate your concern for my sexual wellbeing.”
“Anytime.”
We finish quickly and head back to the office. Both of us need to bust our asses this afternoon if we are going to get out of here before seven tonight.
And I really need to get out of here on time. I have something special planned for Savage tonight. There’s no way I’m postponing to polish off another article about the inaccurate parking meters and how they’re leading to excessive parking tickets.
The lingerie I bought is absolutely perfect. Slutty and sexy. If this doesn’t work, then I’m at a complete loss at what to do.
A girl can only go without dick for so long. And God knows, it has been way too long for me. This is literally the longest I’ve gone with a good fuck since I still had my virginity and my body is screaming for it.
Mouth, tongue, fingers just aren’t going to cut it anymore. Savage has a dick as beautiful as he is, inside and out, and I need it—inside me.
What if it doesn’t happen tonight?
The question has been rattling around in my head for weeks and it’s always the same answer—I’ll deal with it when the time comes.
But when does the time come? How many times I am going to let him distract me with his oral talents and avoid actual body-slamming sex?
Deep down, I know the answer. I just don’t want to admit to myself, let alone anyone else. Hence, my reluctance to discuss anything with Caroline.
I already love him.
Somehow, someway, I fell for him.
Hard—like jump off the Hoover Dam and smack into Lake Mead hard.
It was something I never thought I needed. Something I had never needed before.
Savage is everything every woman dreams about—funny, caring, generous, sexy as hell—and he’s mine. I don’t want to lose that. I won’t. Not for anything.
I know something is up the moment I enter my condo. It was a late night at the club and Dani sent me a text asking what time I’d be home. That, in and of itself, isn’t unusual, but the smell of scented candles drifting down the hallway from the bedroom alerts me that she’s been waiting, and with something very specific on her mind—the same thing that’s been on my mind since the moment I met her.
Sex.
She needs it. I need it, but fuck if I know how to actually achieve it. It’s hard enough keeping my shit together when she blows me.
Christ, I can’t believe I actually have to give myself a pep talk to let my girlfriend suck my dick.
Man card revoked!
As I make my way down the hall toward the flickering light visible from my open bedroom door, I wonder if all my mental prep has done any good. I keep telling myself to relax, that everything will be fine. My cock works and that’s a lot more than most men in my situation can say.
Just roll with it, Savage. Let it all go and let her guide you.
I’m surprised to find an empty room. Candles offer a soft glow and illuminate the bed. I don’t know what I expected, but an empty room wasn’t it.
“Dani?”
The door to the bathroom opens just as I reach the side of the bed. I turn toward the sound.
My breath catches in my throat. My heart beats a rapid tattoo in my chest.
Well, fuck…
Dani went all-out tonight—for me.
Black silk hugs her tight curves—the barely-there panties emphasizing her long legs and the bra pushing her chest up to the fucking ceiling with every breath she takes. The vast expanse of exposed skin on her stomach is taut and absofuckinglutely perfect in the soft candlelight. Her eyes lock on mine and never waver. I’ve never seen her look so determined. It’s clear she’s on a mission.
Shit.
My girlfriend thinks she needs sexy lingerie in order to get me to fuck her. Dani should never have to question how much I want her, need her. The fact she went to these lengths only assures me I need to get my shit in order and now.
She approaches me slowly; each step she takes closer has my heart racing more.
Jesus, she’s a fucking goddess.
When she reaches me, she doesn’t say anything, just grins before she leans down to kiss me. I’m expecting something hot, deep, and probing, but I get the opposite. Her lips barely graze mine before she pulls back and turns to crawl up on the bed.
She stretches out and I turn my chair so I’m facing her.
“You going to join me up here?” Her voice holds promise and expectation.
Tonight’s the night.
This needs to happen now. I’ve pussed out long enough. Time to man up.
I try to keep my trepidation off my face as I join her on the bed. She watches me closely and as soon as I’m settled, she reaches for my belt. A laugh bubbles up from my chest and her eyes flip up to meet mine in question.
“What’s so funny?”
/> I run my hand up her arm and push her hair back from her face. “Is there something you want, Dani?”
Her lips drop into a slight frown and she glares at me. “Are you really going to make me say it?”
I chuckle and bring her face to mine, pressing my lips to hers to silence her protest and take the frown away. When I pull away, I smile and nod. “Yes.”
She scowls and returns to her task, yanking my belt from my pants and tossing it on the floor beside the bed before going in for the button and zipper.
The room is dark enough I’m confident she won’t see much if I let her fully remove my pants and if we’re really going to do this tonight, I don’t have much of a choice. I shift and help her slide my pants off, leaving me in my boxer-briefs and button-down shirt.
Instead of reaching up to start unbuttoning it, she grabs the lapels and yanks, hard. Buttons go flying across the room as they’re ripped from the fabric.
“Damn, Danika, impatient for something?”
She swings her leg across my waist and leans in until her mouth is against my right ear. “You want me to say it?”
I nod.
“Fine, I’ll say it. You. I’m desperate for you. I need to feel you inside me. Having you in my mouth isn’t enough. I need your cock inside my pussy, now.”
Sweet fuck. Her dirty talk practically has me ready to blow.
I’m hard as granite.
Maybe I can really do this.
Her tongue slips along the rim of my ear and I tremble, my fingers digging into her hips. She slides her right hand down over my stomach and under the elastic of my boxers until she finds my engorged flesh. She grasps me and her tongue dips into my ear, sending me even closer to the edge of control. I want to be inside her even more than she wants it, I can guarantee that.
Nothing is going to stop this tonight. I’ve got this under control.
Her hand strokes my cock and then squeezes around it. “I need to feel this big cock of yours pounding into me until I can’t take it anymore.”
He stills under me and turns his head away with a quick jerk.
“Savage? What’s wrong?”
His hand finds my wrist and he yanks me off his cock while his eyes avert mine.
Oh, no…I am NOT getting rejected again.
“Savage?” I pull my hand from his grip and move to turn his face to mine, but before I can, he grabs my waist and lifts me off him, setting me on the bed to his side. “Woah, what the fuck?”
Is this seriously happening?
“Sorry,” he says, glancing back at me over his shoulder as he lifts himself back into his chair. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. It must be something I ate.”
Before I can formulate a response, he’s across the room and the bathroom door slams shut, effectively preventing any further questioning.
Did he actually pull the “I have a headache” excuse?
I slump down onto the bed and grab the nearest pillow, pulling it down over my face so I can scream into it without making Gabe think Savage is murdering me in here.
It feels good.
Cathartic.
When I bring the pillow away and take a deep breath, the cool air helps calm me, but only marginally.
I just don’t fucking get it. Five hundred dollars of La Perla and it got me exactly nowhere! He couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
Is this some game for him? Some way to still exert his dominance? He strings me along but doesn’t seal the deal?
What does he want? For me to beg? Because, hell, I’m ready to beg and then some.
How has it comes to this? Me…actually needing to beg for sex. Something is quite seriously fucking wrong with the world if it has come to me begging.
I hurl the pillow across the room and it hits the bathroom door silently. I’m tempted to throw something else, something that will give me a satisfying bang or crash, but even as angry as I am right now, I don’t want to ruin any of Savage’s things.
Despite how I feel at the moment, Savage has his hooks in me, and now I’m wondering if he really is sick.
Shit. I’m such a bitch. I should check on him.
I slide off the bed and hustle to the bathroom door. I don’t hear anything. No water running. No tell-tale sounds of Savage praying to the porcelain god.
“Savage? Are you all right?”
The toilet flushes and I spend several awkward moments standing with my ear up against the door, waiting for his response. I watch the doorknob turn and I take a step back, almost tripping on the damn pillow.
Crap.
I bend down and grab it just as the door opens and Savage appears. He certainly doesn’t look sick, and he avoids making eye contact with me as he rolls past me and directly for the bed.
Without even glancing my way, he moves into bed and tosses his shirt onto his chair. “I’m exhausted and feel like shit. I’m just going to go to sleep. You might want to go home tonight in case whatever I have isn’t food poisoning. I don’t want to get you sick.”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Go home? He’s actually telling me to leave!
I don’t think I’ve ever felt like such a pile of shit. Honestly, I thought tonight would be different, that maybe all he needed was a black silk nudge in the right direction. I guess I was wrong. What he needs is me to go home and leave him the fuck alone.
Well, I can certainly accommodate his request.
“Feel better.” The words come out as icy as my heart feels right now—cold and dark in my chest. This is what I get for opening myself up to a relationship. Rejection.
I slip my jeans and t-shirt on over the useless expensive fabric and grab my overnight bag and purse. When I reach the bedroom door, I pause to look back at him. The candles are still lit and I know I should probably blow them all out before I leave—I don’t want the place to burn down—but right now, I just want to get out.
“Don’t forget to blow out all the candles.” My words are met with silence. I bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying something I’ll regret later.
Making my way to the front door, I fish around in my purse until I find my phone. I call Nora and she picks up almost immediately.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m coming over.” I know she didn’t work tonight and is probably on the couch with a pint of mint chocolate chip.
“Why? Is everything okay?”
I let out a deep sigh and press the button for the elevator. “Of course it is, my boyfriend just rejected me and told me to go home.”
“Shit, Dani, you know how weird it is for me when you talk to me about Savage. I have to see him at work, you know?”
She doesn’t know the half of it. I’ve managed to keep my personal shit with Savage just that, personal. Even Caroline doesn’t know what’s been going on. But, Nora’s right. It isn’t fair for me to put her in an awkward position with her boss.
“I promise I won’t talk about him anymore tonight. I just want to come spend some time with my baby sister, all right?”
“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”
The elevator dings just as she hangs up and I enter the car and lean against the back wall, my ego utterly deflated. I’m out of ideas here. Maybe it’s time to give up trying and admit I was right to avoid getting emotionally tangled with someone like this.
When I left for the gym this morning, I didn’t think it was possible to be more frustrated, but I was wrong.
I stare up at the bar, which is weighed down with three hundred fifty pounds again, and I know, without even trying, I won’t be able to lift it today.
Fucking pussy.
Yeah, I know.
What happened with Dani last night won’t stop playing in a loop in my head and it’s throwing me completely off my game. She didn’t even respond to my good morning text.
I can’t say I blame her.
What I did last night might land on the top of the “unforgivable” list.
“Fuck.�
� I drop my forearm over my eyes and resign myself to the fact I won’t get anywhere with my workout today—at least the weight-lifting part.
“What the hell is wrong with you today?”
I move my arm and Rick is looking down at me with both concern and frustration.
“Nothing, I’m just…tired, I guess.”
“Bullshit.” He holds his hand out and I grasp it, letting him help pull me to a sitting position. “I’ve known you for three years, and I’ve seen you tired. I’ve seen you in pain. I’ve seen you sick. This is none of these. So, spill.”
I search the immediate area for Gabe, but don’t see him.
Good. The last thing I need is him hearing this shit. He already thinks I’m a huge pushover for her.
“It’s Dani.”
“I should have guessed. Only a woman could make a man look so miserable.”
Ain’t that the truth?
I move into my chair and Rick follows me back to the gymnasium where the heavy and speed bags are ready and waiting. It’s been a while since I’ve used them. They used to be my go-to form of stress-relief. After Dad died, my mom forbade me from fighting professionally. At ten, I never questioned her edict, but I also loved it, and continued to train and spar despite the look of disdain I got from her when she found out.
It was different after the accident, though. I couldn’t get my release on the bag anymore.
Now, it calls to me in the way it used to and the itch to wrap my hands and pummel it is unshakable.
Rick grabs the tape and wraps and begins preparing my hands without me even asking. When he’s done, he points to the heavy bag without a word.
He doesn’t need to coach me. I probably know more about boxing and throwing a good punch than anyone in this gym and he knows it. He also appears smart enough to give me some space to pound it out.
The first crack of my right against the leather of the bag is more satisfying than words can describe. The vibration and slight sting in my hand is like coming home without ever knowing I had been gone.
Home.
