by Gwyn McNamee
My worry is now bordering on hysteria as I move from the couch, setting Princess on the floor and begin to pace again.
I call Gabe. Same result.
Frustrated, I almost chuck my phone at the wall, but realize no one will be able to get a hold of me if I destroy it.
Deep breaths.
In. Out. Repeat.
I’m so focused on keeping myself breathing, I don’t even hear the door open.
“Danika.”
His voice snaps me from my neurotic pacing and I whip around to face the door. It shuts behind him just as Princess jumps up onto his lap. He absently runs his hand down from her head to her back before shooing her off.
I assess him, making sure he is okay before I rush to him, climbing onto his lap and throwing my arms around his neck, clutching him to me. He wraps his arms around me, embracing me and holding me to him while I sob against his neck.
Thank God.
Finally, I’m able to catch my breath and I pull back, my eyes finding his. I can see a storm of emotions in their blue depths.
I smack him on the shoulder. “Where the hell were you? I was freaking the fuck out. You said you would be home over an hour ago.”
Capturing my face in his hands, he kisses me gently. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I had something I had to take care of.”
“And you couldn’t have called?” I bark, shoving at his chest. “I thought something happened to you. You weren’t answering your phone.”
He frowns and reaches into his breast pocket, removing his phone and glancing down at it. “Shit, the battery died and I didn’t even notice.”
I scowl at him, crossing my arms over my chest as he gives me an apologetic half-smile. He slides his phone back into his pocket and once again takes my face in his hands.
“I’m sorry. Really, I am.”
The sincerity in his voice weakens me and the tirade I was about to unleash on him goes out the window. We are finally free of the Abello threat. “So, it’s really over?”
He smiles and nods, brushing my hair back behind my ears. “It’s really over.” Dragging my head down, he takes my mouth with his. I pour all the anxiety and turmoil of the last week into our kiss.
His tongue slides along my bottom lip, urging me to open for him. Permitting him access, I suck him in as I slide my legs to the side, straddling his hips. The kiss deepens and a low groan emanates from him.
He bites my bottom lip and my clit throbs in response. I grind my hips against his, pushing my core against his erection. He moans and releases my lip with a pop.
My eyes meet his and I see the same lust and love there I hope he can see in mine. I reach for his belt and yank it off. I fling it across the room, a loud bang sounding as the metal clasp strikes the wood floor. He chuckles against my neck and licks his way up to my ear as I work the buttons and zipper of his pants. My hands shake, making the task ridiculously difficult.
Finally, I’m able to slip my hand in and wrap my palm around his cock. He hisses against my ear as I stroke his length, sliding the pad of my thumb across the head of his cock, spreading the pre-cum.
“Shit, baby, I need to be inside you…” he growls in my ear and slides his hand up under the t-shirt I’m wearing. His eyes widen when his fingers find my wet core. “No panties?”
I shake my head when he strokes my flesh, his thumb swirling around my clit, causing my hips to buck against him.
Fuck.
“You, inside me…now.”
He moves his hand and I guide the head of his cock inside of me before slamming my hips down, impaling myself on him.
He catches my gasp in his mouth, kissing me deeply while I squeeze around his hot flesh. I rock against him, riding his cock hard. I slam down on him with so much force, his chair actually shifts on the floor. Neither of us care.
I’m completely consumed by him. He is my everything, and I know I can never live without him, without this in my life.
Sliding his hand between us, his long fingers find my clit and I press against them as he rolls and pinches it in the way we both know is certain to quickly send me over the edge. The fire in my core builds and I drop my head back, his free hand finding my breast under the shirt and tugging at my erect nipple.
“Fuck! Yes, baby, just like that…please…”
He groans in appreciation and kisses his way up my neck. I tilt my head down, allowing my mouth to meet his as the inferno rages inside me, about to explode.
One more twist of my nipple and my orgasm slams into me, my entire body rolling and bucking uncontrolled on his cock. My walls squeeze against him. He curses and drops his forehead against mine as he comes, pulse after pulse of heat coating my core.
I collapse against him—wrung out emotionally and physically. Our panting breaths mix until I can’t tell what’s his or what’s mine. The aftershocks of my orgasm cause random muscle spasms and shakes in my body. His arms surround me and he kisses me gently.
“I love you, baby. I’m so sorry I worried you.”
The reminder of my earlier anger registers and I pull away from him. “Yeah, where the hell were you, anyway?”
He grins and mischief sparkles in his eyes.
“What?” I ask, my annoyance growing at his seeming nonchalance regarding my earlier distress, caused solely by him.
Douchebag. Does he have any idea how frantic I was?
He leans in to kiss me again, but I retreat, shaking my head. “Oh no, don’t you dare try to distract me.”
A resigned sigh puffs from his lips as they curl into a little half-smile. “Reach in my right jacket pocket.”
Sliding my hand between his shirt and jacket, I find the interior pocket and reach down, my fingers connecting with a small, velvet box.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
My heart thuds in my chest and a loud rush floods my ears as I squeeze my eyes closed and try to catch my breath.
“Danika?” He takes my face in his hands and lifts my head up toward him. “Baby, look at me.”
I open my eyes and find his concerned ones staring back at me.
“Take a deep breath and pull it out.”
Seems easy enough.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. Breathe. Breathe.
Finally, the rushing sound in my ears dissipates and I can once again feel the box at my fingertips inside his pocket. I curl my hand around it and pull it out, opening my hand so the black box sits on my palm.
He reaches up, takes it from my hand, and flips it open, turning it to face me.
My breath catches again when I see the ring.
A beautiful solitaire. Simple. Perfect.
“I was going to ask you tomorrow night at dinner, but I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to wait for anything with you. We’ve waited long enough.”
I couldn’t agree more.
I throw my arms around him, clutching him to me as the tears pool and streak down my face. He chuckles. “Is that a yes?”
Pulling away, I nod, because I won’t even bother to try to speak right now. Tears shimmer in his eyes and he pulls the ring from the box and slips it on my finger.
He kisses me softly and then pulls away, taking a deep breath through his tears. “When I met you, I found me—the real me, not the one I tried to be after the accident, but the one I actually am now. I can never thank you enough for that.”
For once, I don’t have any words. How could anyone respond to that? I want to tell him he did the same for me—that he helped me find who I’m really supposed to be, but words completely fail me.
“This is the start of our forever,” he whispers against my lips. I kiss him deeply, clenching my pussy around his semi-hard dick still buried deep inside me.
Our forever.
He’s right, this is the start of it, the start of something I never thought I’d have, and certainly not with the pussy peddler I set out so determined to hate. But, Savage is it. The moment we collided in h
is office, I knew I would never be the same. He’s proven to me that he’s the best decision I’ve made in my entire life.
I lose myself to him and his kiss again. There’s nothing and no one who will be able to destroy what we’ve built and fuck them if they try.
6 months later
Her knee bounces up and down furiously as she sits next to me in the exam room. I would love to tell her there isn’t anything to be worried or nervous about, but that would be a lie. I’ve spent enough time in hospitals and doctor’s offices over the last couple years to give me a healthy dose of anxiety whenever I find myself in another one of these white, sterile rooms, where the smell of antiseptic inevitably seeps into my nostrils.
This room is just like the others and I wonder if they are specifically designed to make you uneasy. I’m sure that isn’t the case. In fact, I remember reading some article about paint colors and how hospitals and doctor’s offices use light greens and blues because they are supposed to be soothing colors. Well, the barely blue, basically white walls of this room are doing nothing to calm me, and sure as shit are doing nothing to calm Danika.
I reach out and lay my hand on her knee. Her head snaps up and she looks confused. “What?”
Smiling at her, I move my hand and, taking her hand in mine, I bring it to my mouth, pressing my lips to smooth skin on the back. “You were driving me crazy with the leg thing.”
“Oh, sorry,” she says, squeezing my hand, “I didn’t realize I was doing it.”
“I know, baby.” She never does. It’s one of her nervous habits, along with pacing and biting her nails, and I can’t blame her for being nervous today. My own stomach is churning and the familiar taste of acid begins working its way up my throat.
It hasn’t exactly been an easy year for us and the shit with Abello was just the culmination of months of dancing around our issues. But, that’s over now. I don’t hide things from her anymore, and I don’t think it’s possible for her to hide anything from me—she’s too damn honest and has proven time and time again that she lacks a filter.
Things have been relatively smooth sailing since the day we got married almost three months ago. She knelt next to me at the altar and promised to be with me through better or worse, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible for things to ever be worse than what we’d already experienced. It’s not like most couples have mob bosses trying to kill them.
The fact that Abello has left us alone has just as much to do with my threat as it does with Danika’s ability to get back to work and pretend that tossing the story under the rug doesn’t eat away at her every day. If she hadn’t been able to do that, I don’t know where we would be. Things are still tense and a bit unsettled with Gabe’s father. After his resignation, he began his campaign to win us over by reinitiating contact, probably in hopes he could convince us to back off the edict we laid out for him. But right now, that’s the least of my worries.
Today, it would be easy to let go, let myself fully feel the trepidation I’ve been trying to keep at bay, but I have to be the strong one today. If it’s bad news, Danika won’t handle it well. I’m used to receiving bad news in doctor’s offices, and I know how to take it in stride. Danika, on the other hand, is far too invested to take it if it’s bad news.
Shit, who am I kidding? I won’t take it well either.
Still, it’s up to me to be strong for her today.
I press my lips to her temple, letting them linger there. I can never get enough of feeling her smooth skin against my mouth, my hands, everything. How I ever managed to be here, with her, like this, is beyond any comprehension even now. I’ve lost a lot of things in my life, but I found the one thing that mattered, and I will do anything to ensure she is happy.
“Where is the damn doctor, anyway?” She jumps up from her chair and paces back and forth in the small exam room, chewing on her finger nail. I try to hide my smirk behind my hand. She’s so adorably predictable sometimes. “It must be bad news. Why else would he keep us waiting like this?”
“Because he can, babe. Don’t assume it’s bad news.” Holding out my hand, I motion her over to me. “Come here.” She rolls her eyes and huffs before taking my hand and allowing me to pull her down onto my lap.
She immediately buries her face into my neck, her hot breath fluttering up around my ear as she snuggles against me. I gently rub my hand up and down her back and take her left hand in mine. My finger idly spins the ring on her finger back and forth, round and round. The tension is radiating off her, and I wish there was something I could say to make it better for her, something I haven’t already thought of over the last six months.
Burying my face in her hair, I inhale the lavender, bergamot, and peppermint scent of her shampoo. I start another attempt to calm her when the door flies open and Dr. Rudolph strolls in, smile on his face, clipboard tucked under his arm.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hawke, thank you so much for waiting. I apologize for the slight delay.” He sets the clipboard down and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “How are we doing today?”
Danika shifts on my lap, turning toward him. “Nervous, Doctor. Please, tell us what the tests said, tell us what’s wrong.”
Leave it to Danika to get right to the point. I squeeze her hand, hoping the small gesture might offer her some reassurance. She squeezes it back, but it is far from gentle as she apparently puts all her worry and frustration into crushing my fingers.
Dr. Rudolph smiles kindly and glances between us. “Why are you so sure something is wrong, Mrs. Hawke?”
She lets out an annoyed sigh and I have no doubt she’s gearing up to give the poor doc a tongue-lashing. I’m not brave enough a man to interrupt her, so I bite my tongue and wait for the show.
“Why? Because we have been trying to get pregnant for six months and it isn’t working!” she yells. “That shouldn’t happen! Teenagers get knocked up having sex once. We fuck like rabbits and nothing!”
I cover my smile with my free hand and Dr. Rudolph gives me a sympathetic look.
Yes, we fuck like rabbits, and that is a good thing for any man; but I also have to deal with her sharp tongue on a daily basis, and I sense the doc may have experience with a similarly strong-willed woman given the smirk on his face.
“Four months.” He says, standing and grabbing the clipboard off the counter.
“What?” we ask in unison.
Looking up from his clipboard, he stares Danika down. “You tried for four months.”
He barely has the words out of his mouth before she retorts, “No, it has definitely been six months.”
He chuckles and, even though Danika continues to appear clueless, the realization of what he just said sinks in and my heart skips a beat. I try to get her attention by tugging on her shoulder. “Baby, listen to what he’s saying instead of jumping down his throat.”
She glares at me, then returns her attention to the doctor. “Look, Doctor, I don’t know…”
He holds up his hand, silencing her mid-sentence. “Mrs. Hawke, I’m trying to tell you, if you would let me…you’re pregnant.”
I hear the words, but they don’t register immediately. Not until Savage takes my face between his shaking palms and turns it until I’m looking into his crystal-blue eyes. They shimmer with unshed tears.
Savage isn’t a crier, not really. I’ve only seen it a handful of times in the last year. Considering what he’s been through, what we have been through, that says a lot about how strong he is. But right now, that strength seems to have momentarily vanished.
“What?” The word comes out as nothing more than a whisper. If I wasn’t sitting on his lap, my mouth mere inches from his, I doubt he would have even heard it.
“You’re pregnant,” he says, grinning. “We are going to have a baby.” He pulls me to him and kisses me before I can even respond, stealing my breath with his excited passion. Our lips move together slowly as we savor this moment.
When he finally pu
lls away, I take a moment to steady my breathing and racing heart before I turn to the doctor. “How? I mean, I know how, but I haven’t had any symptoms and I had my period last month.”
Smiling, he crosses his arms again and leans back against the counter. “As many as twenty-five percent of women never experience morning sickness, and it isn’t unusual for some women to have spotting throughout their pregnancy that can appear to just be a light period. We will do a pelvic exam and ultrasound to make sure everything is progressing as it should.”
I shake my head, bewildered. “But you’re one hundred percent sure I’m pregnant?”
He nods. “Your HCG levels are over ten thousand. You are definitely pregnant, and those numbers suggest you are about two months along.”
My mind spins as I try to recall the last two months.
Two months? Two fucking months! How the hell could I be pregnant for that long and not know it?
Granted, things have been a little hectic recently. Savage opened a new restaurant and the second gentleman’s club, and I’ve been chasing down a local real estate mogul who is basically a slumlord hiding behind a dozen layers of subordinates. But still, two months?
I feel like an idiot. The last two months have been difficult for us, and not just because we’ve been so busy, but also because of the emotional strain of not being able to get pregnant. I’ve been a total wreck, crying constantly and I’m sure making Savage miserable. Looking back, all the crying and breakdowns were probably pregnancy hormones, but it doesn’t make me feel any less bad about how I have been acting.
“Danika? Baby, you okay?” Savage grabs my chin and gently turns me to face him, nothing but love and concern in his eyes.
My eyes burn as the tears form and I nod. “Yeah, I’m okay, just…shocked.”
We deserve this. We deserve some good news. We deserve to have everything we’ve ever wanted.
I realize I’m shaking when Savage pulls me to his chest and holds me tight. “Shh, don’t cry.”
I’m crying?
Apparently the shaking is accompanied by sobbing I didn’t even hear and tears streaming down my face I didn’t even feel. These hormones are a fucking bitch. I didn’t even cry this much on our wedding day and that was a day I never thought I’d ever see in my lifetime, let alone to Savage after all the shit that went down.
