by B. B. Hamel
I turn around and shake my head. “I can’t do that and you know it.”
“Why? People’s lives are being ruined.”
“I can’t take that back,” I say. “I won’t make excuses, but if I had known, I would have stopped it.”
“Too bad you didn’t.” She crosses her arms. “Is this really what you want?”
I cock my head. “What do you mean?”
“This project. This stupid building. It’s not going to be good for the city.”
“You don’t know that,” I say to her slowly. “I’ve been doing this a long time, Teagan. I know what I’m doing.”
“This isn’t your project,” she points out.
I sigh. “Fine. Okay. I admit, this whole thing is a clusterfuck. If I could, I’d pull us out. But this is Reid’s pet project. He’d be so angry.”
“You know it’s bad, but you’re letting it go anyway. Sounds like you’re putting your personal life in front of your professional life.”
I meet her gaze, but I know she has a good point. This project is a personal decision, not a business one.
I stare at her, trying to balance work and life, but I realize I don’t want to balance it. I want the scales tipped firmly in one direction, and I’m tired of living any other way.
“Okay,” I say finally. I take a long drink and place the glass on the counter. “You want something from me.”
She nods. “Do something about this.”
“Make this go your way, you mean?” I ask her softly. I make a decision in this moment, not sure how it’ll play out into the future, but I know there’s no going back.
“Yes.” She says is seriously, meeting my gaze, not backing down. I love that about her. Strong, smart, no bullshit.
“Then you’ll have to do something for me.”
“What?” she asks, a little uncertain.
“Come with me.” I start walking back toward the front of the house. She hesitates but I hear her following.
I lead her upstairs and back into my bedroom. Once she’s inside, I shut the door.
“Stand over there,” I say, gesturing over toward the bed. I walk into my closet and open a second pair of doors. Inside are my toys, all the objects I need to make her feel good. To make her give me what I want.
I start by grabbing two long black satin ropes. I step back out into the room, holding the ropes in front of me.
She stares at them and I can see her thoughts pass across her face. At first she’s surprised, and then angry, and finally excited. She knows what these ropes mean.
“Undress,” I say.
“And you’ll give me what I want?” she asks softly.
I smirk at her. I walk up and gently kiss her lips. “First, you have to do what I say. Do you understand?”
She stares at me for a second, defiant but aroused.
And then she says the magic words.
“Yes, Daddy.”
22
Teagan
I struggle against the ropes, but I can’t move an inch and it’s driving me insane.
My arms are tied behind my back at the wrists and the elbows. The wrist ties are connected to a ring in the ceiling, one I didn’t see when I first came into the room. From there, more ropes are wrapped around my chest, framing my breasts and connecting to my elbows.
I’m forced to bend over, because my arms are pulled up behind me. He connected a metal bar between my ankles, a “spreader bar” he called it. My legs are wide open and my pussy is totally exposed.
“Perfect,” he whispers. I look up at him, a little anger in my eyes, but pure pleasure is ringing through my core. I’m bent over, completely naked, completely bound, with my legs forced open. He walks around me, prowling like an animal ready to pounce.
“On your tiptoes,” he says to me.
I do as he asks, forcing my ass into the air. “Like this?”
“Good girl,” he says. “Very, very good.”
My legs feel tired but I love being exposed like this, love that he’s staring at me and walking slowly around me. He can do whatever he wants with me I realize, my ass open and waiting for him.
He walks up to me and gently tips my chin up. “This is what it means when you give yourself to me,” he says softly. “Every inch of you is mine. If I want to hang you here all day long and watch you, I will. You’re my thing, Teagan. You’re beautiful and elegant for me.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I want that.”
“Good.” He lets my chin go. I’m tired and my muscles feel sore but I’m aching, excitement coursing through me.
He walks around behind me and I lose sight of him. “I liked seeing you angry,” he says from behind me. I can hear his voice but I can’t see him. That sends wild shivers down my spine. My pussy and ass are exposed to him, and I know he can spank me at any moment. I’m tense, waiting for it, but the blow doesn’t fall.
“I’m not angry anymore,” I say.
“That’s a shame. You have fire in you. It’s sexy. I want more of it.”
“You can make me angry.”
He’s suddenly right behind me. I feel his hard cock against my ass as he leans over me. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. “Maybe I could, but I think I like you better like this.”
I gasp as I feel his hands on my ass. His fingers slowly slide down my skin, teasing me, getting so close to my pussy… but he pulls away.
“Is this what you wanted?” I ask him. “To tie me up like this? Have me when you want?”
He laughs softly. “Do you think I’m so simple, Teagan?”
I can hear him behind me, but I still can’t see him and it’s driving me insane.
“What do you rally want then?” I ask him.
“I want something much more important than this.”
The spank comes fast and sudden. It’s sharp but god it feels good. “Asshole,” I say, but I don’t mean it.
He laughs again. “No, I want something more much. Something you don’t share easily.”
I struggle a bit but that only gets me another spank. I gasp as he spanks me again, and I crane my neck, trying to see him.
“What do you want?” I ask him.
He walks slowly back into view. I crane my neck to look at him, muscles aching.
He tips my chin up, a smile on his face. “I want a secret.”
He lets me go and I stare down at the floor, heart pounding. “A secret?”
“Yes, I want a secret. Something you’ve never told me.”
I wrack my brain. “When I was a little girl I used to fantasize about my cousin.”
“Boring,” he says. “Try again.”
“I masturbate thinking about my high school science teacher.”
“Try again.”
I groan, getting frustrated. “Sometimes, mustaches turn me on.”
“Oh, Teagan. No, I want something much, much bigger.” I feel his fingers suddenly teasing my pussy. “If you really want this… you’ll give me what I need.”
I stare at the floor, thoughts racing. I don’t have any big, dark secrets, except…
That’s when it hits me. It clicks, right then and there. I know what he wants, it’s been so obvious this whole time.
But I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can say the words. His fingers tease my pussy and I want him so badly I can barely breathe. I can’t see him, and my muscles are straining as my body is pressed up to its limits.
“Tell me what I want to hear,” he whispers.
“Felix is your son.”
His fingers pull back from my pussy and for a second, I think I fucked up. For a second I think he’s going to throw me out, or worse, actually hurt me. I’m so afraid that I don’t know what to do.
Instead, he appears in front of me, tipping my chin up, a smile on my face. “Good girl,” he says.
“You… did you know?”
“Yes,” he says. “I knew.”
“How?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
He lets my chin go. “Now it’s time.”
“Wait, Declan—“
But it’s too late. He spanks my ass again, and again, making me cry out before he plunges his tongue between my ass cheeks. He drives it into my pussy, sucking and licking me from behind, and I can’t do a damn thing. I can’t turn around and ask him how he knew, ask him what he thinks or feels about it, I can’t do anything. I’m totally at his mercy.
And it feels so fucking good I can barely stand it. He sucks and licks my pussy from behind, eating me faster and faster and I love it, I want more of it.
Pleasure wracks my body as I struggle to stay on my toes. He presses his fingers inside of me again, fucking me with them as he slaps my ass.
I feel his fingers slide out and suddenly he grabs my hips. His cock slips inside so easily it shocks me, although a moment later the pleasure washes over me. He’s so big, so thick, and he stretches me out in a way I’ve never experienced before.
He slaps my ass again as he starts to thrust into me. There are no words shared, just the intense slap of his cock slamming into my pussy. I don’t want any words, not right now. I just want physical fucking, pure body.
His cock penetrates me so deep. I moan, tossing my head back and he slaps my ass hard. I struggle a bit against my bonds but I’m held tight as he slams into me. He’s fucking me mercilessly, almost angrily, and it’s driving me insane.
The orgasm builds and washes over me in waves. He doesn’t stop though. This isn’t about just giving me pleasure. This is about punishing me. I can sense it, I can feel it in the way he fucks me. This is about showing me that he’s in charge, and he knows everything, and there’s nothing I can about it.
That just makes the orgasm so much more intense. He slaps my ass as I come, his big cock spreading me open, as he fucks me harder. His hands grip my hips and I hear him grunt. We’re both sweating, groaning, grinding into each other.
I feel his cum fill me not longer later. It’s hot and he shoots me deep, fills me with his groans. Thick spurts of him fill me, and slowly he finishes and slides out from inside of me.
Tenderly, he pulls the rope down from the ceiling. He catches me before I can fall, my legs shaking, my whole body weak. He unstraps the spreader bar and unties the ropes from around my wrists and elbows before leading me to the bed.
We climb in together. We still don’t speak. I don’t know what to say, but I don’t care. I just want to feel him as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.
I’ve never felt so controlled before. I’ve never given myself to a man like that, trusted him so completely and utterly. But it’s almost natural with Declan, like it’s what I’ve always been meant to do.
“Now you’re all mine,” he whispers in my ear. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
I kiss his chest and hold him tight.
23
Teagan
Down on my knees, ankles bound together, arms behind my back, a ball gag in my mouth.
On the bed, wrists tied to my ankles, a spreader bar between my knees forcing my legs wide open.
A yoke on my shoulders, forcing my hands up, my shoulders straight.
Bent over a chair and bound to it while he canes me from behind.
A metal bar behind my arms and back, wrists bound out front, a gag in my mouth.
Complicated twists of rope down along my chest and stomach, weaving me like a cocoon, a rope down between my legs.
Ankles bound, rope around my waist, forcing my hips up in the air, rope attached to the ceiling, wrists tied out front.
All of these and more. Day after day, when Felix goes to bed, I go and play. Declan slowly introduces me to more and more ties, more and more binds, more and more levels of pleasure and pain. I find that I love it all, surprising myself. I knew I liked Declan, and part of Declan is his intense control, but I had no clue how far that need to be in control really went.
Now I know. Along with the increased pleasure comes increased trust, and we’re growing closer every single night.
He even sends me little presents for Felix: train sets, toy trucks. One afternoon, I take off work early, pick up Felix from daycare, and we spend a few hours in the park with Declan.
He’s good with Felix, but I can tell he’s hesitant. He wants to get to know him, but he doesn’t know how. All I care about is that he’s trying, that he cares.
And he clearly does. He asks about Felix every day, wanting to get to know his son. I’m afraid of what this all means, if Declan is now going to be in Felix’s life forever, if we’re going to tell Felix that Declan is his father, all of it. I don’t know where any of it leads.
But I’m following anyway. I’m trusting Declan, believing that he won’t leave me, won’t walk away from me. I have to trust that he’ll do the right thing, both in the bedroom when I’m bound in his ropes and in the real world with Felix.
After a couple of weeks of this, and a few more visits with Felix, I find myself in my office trying to get some work done. The overwhelming avalanche of paperwork slowed down to a trickle. We’re getting close to the trial, and at this point there’s not much more for either side to do. We just need to prepare for what’s coming and hope for the best.
I sign off on a paper and send it via email to a few interns for proofing. When I’m finishing, I get a call on my office phone.
“Yes?” I answer.
“Hello, Ms. Fisher, this is Tina Haverford, Jerry’s secretary.”
“Oh, hi, Tina, how are you?”
“I’m good. Listen, are you busy right now? Jerry wants to see you.”
I go totally still. “No, I’m not busy.”
“Good. Come on down when you can.”
“Thanks.” I hang up the phone.
Jerry never wants to see me. When I first started, I remember Sara telling me that the only time a partner calls you to his office is when he’s pissed off and wants to yell at you. Anything else and they’ll email.
I don’t know what I did wrong, but I have a sinking feeling as I get up and move woodenly toward my door. I need to calm down and face this, whatever it is. My mind runs over a whole range of stuff: messed up document, missing information, any number of clerical issues. I’m terrified I’m sinking this case because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
But no, no, I know what I’m doing. I need to get a hold of myself. I need to calm down. I don’t know what Jerry wants and I can’t assume it’s bad just because of something Sara said that one time when I first started. That’s just silly.
Jerry’s office is in the back corner of this floor. I smile at his secretary Tina as I approach.
“Knock and head in,” she says.
I knock on the door, wait a second, and then open it up.
Jerry is sitting behind his desk and looks up as I approach.
“Ah, Teagan,” he says. “Take a seat. Thanks for coming so fast.”
“Sure. I just finished up at 1488-C form you wanted filled out and sent it off,” I say as I sit in the chair in front of his desk.
“Sure, thanks.” He looks up from what he’s doing and smiles. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good.”
“Good. You’re adjusting okay? I know this has been a crazy case.”
“It’s been fun,” I say honestly. “I like the work.”
“Good, not everyone does. We ask a lot of our associates, as I know you’re aware.”
“We’re doing important work,” I say carefully.
“Yes, we are. And because of that, we’re held to a very high standard. Did you know that? People are always looking for a reason to undermine us, and so we have to be strict about how we handle ourselves.”
Horror and dread slowly fill me. “You’re right,” I say to him.
“Of course I am. So why is it that I hear you have a relationship with Declan Jones?”
I stare at him, open-mouthed, completely shocked. “What?” I ask him, not sure what else to say.
“The
re are rumors, Teagan, and please, I apologize if I’m wrong about this. But I hear you’ve been seeing him outside of a business context.”
I can’t believe I’m hearing this. I’ve been careful about Declan, kept him away from the office, made sure people didn’t see me with him. The only person I’ve talked about it with is Sara.
It hits me like a spike in the chest. The only person I told is Sara.
“I keep my personal life and my business life separate,” I finally manage to say.
He smiles at me, a condescending prick smile. “Of course you do, but this is a big, important case. And Declan Jones is on the other side. You can see how there might be a conflict of interest?”
“There’s no conflict,” I say.
“Yes, well. Listen Teagan, I won’t waste your time here. It looks bad, you seeing Declan that way, so I’m laying it out. You’re doing good work and I want to keep you. Stop seeing him, and we’ll be okay. Understood?”
I stare at him, anger warring with shock. I want to cry, or maybe scream at him, or maybe hunt down Sara and throttle her.
“You’re threatening to fire me for having an alleged relationship,” I say to him. “I’m not sure how legal that is.”
“Oh, no, I’m not threatening anything like that.” His smile doesn’t waver. “I said what I wanted to say. Keep it in mind. I need to get back to work.”
I sit there another second before standing slowly. I walk away from his office and back through the door, feeling like a shell-shock victim.
“Have a nice day,” Tina says as I pass. I shoot her a smile, but I feel insane.
All I can think about as I walk back to my desk is one simple word: Why?
Why would Sara tell Jerry about my relationship with Declan? I know she doesn’t understand it and wants me to use it to get us some space in this case, maybe even use it to win, but she knows I won’t do that. She knows that what I have with Declan is more important. He’s the father of my child. He’s the man I want to be with.
And yet… she fucking tattled on me. She told our boss, and now he’s threatening to fire me.
Which of course can’t be legal. Or maybe it is, and they’ll find some fucking loophole or whatever to make sure it goes down smooth when they fire me.
