by B. B. Hamel
“Don’t worry. We’re almost there.”
We pass by familiar shops, restaurants, and churches. This was my neighborhood once, although it’s not anymore. I’ll miss parts of it and won’t miss other parts, but it’ll always be important to me.
We walk a few blocks and ahead I can see the park rising up in the middle of all the concrete. He strides up to the streetlight that I used to stand under when he’d come pick me up after I snuck out. I join him there, smiling a little bit.
“This is familiar,” I say.
“It wasn’t so long ago that you stood there, waiting for me,” he says. “You risked a lot for that.”
“I didn’t see it that way.”
“Maybe,” he says.
“I just wanted to be happy. And I am now.”
“Well, there’s one thing I’m happy about. And it’s that your father wants you to change your name.”
I sigh and shake my head. “It’s so petty. But I guess I get to make up my own surname, which is kind of cool, right?”
He nods. “If that’s what you want. But I have a better idea.”
My heart starts hammering in my chest and I feel dizzy as Gavin drops to one knee in front of me.
“Sadie, I told you I want to start a family with you. And I want to do it the right way. I want this to be real.”
“Gavin,” I say, but can’t find any other words.
“I’m glad you have to change your last name, because I want you to take mine.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a small black box. He flips it open, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring. “Sadie, will you marry me?”
I stare at him in total shock. I didn’t know he wanted to get married. I always assumed he thought marriage was impossible, or that he just didn’t want to do it. But as he kneels down in front of me, holding out that beautiful ring, I know this is what I’ve been waiting for all my life.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He takes my hand and slides on the ring. It fits perfectly, which shouldn’t surprise me. Gavin doesn’t do anything halfway.
He stands and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. “I love you, Sadie girl,” he says.
“I love you too,” I answer, then I get up on my tiptoes so that I can whisper in his ear. “Daddy.”
He crushes my mouth with a kiss and joy spreads through my whole body.
In one day, I lost one family, but I gained another. I’m going to be Sadie Waller, forever and ever. We’ll raise our child together, and I’ll be happy and free. Finally, I’ll be happy and free.
I lose myself in the kiss and I find myself with the man that I love.
24
Sadie
One Year Later
“Hold still!”
I giggle as I pull off Joanie’s diaper. “Stinky,” I say.
Joanie squirms as I clean her off and put on a fresh diaper. I pick her up and kiss her. “All better,” I say.
“How’s my little poop machine?”
I turn to Gavin and grin at him. “She’s healthy, that’s for sure.”
“Give her over.” He reaches out and I hand Joanie off. Gavin laughs and cuddles her close, and Joanie giggles and looks around.
He carries her out into the living room and I follow. It’s so quiet in our neighborhood. Ever since we moved out of the city and into the suburbs, into this gorgeous little estate right on the edge of town, I’ve had to get used to how calm things are.
But I love it. I love our new house and our little baby. Gavin has slowly been hiring some staff to help out, and I’ve been making friends with some young moms in the area. I took up painting and joined a book club, though Joanie takes up most of my time.
“Can’t complain, right?” Gavin remarks as I join him on the couch.
“Sure can’t,” I agree. He’s been saying that a lot lately, which only makes me so happy.
After my father sent over the papers and I signed away my rights to the Tillman fortune, we got married almost right away. I took Gavin’s name, officially making me Sadie Waller, and I never looked back. We don’t speak to my family, as part of the agreement, and my father stopped attacking Gavin’s businesses.
Since then, things have been incredible. The pregnancy was hard but good. I felt productive every single day, growing Joanie inside of me. And now that we’re a family, I feel more fulfilled than I ever have before.
Gavin leans over and kisses me softly. “You look gorgeous today, you know.”
I grin at him. “Again already?”
He shrugs, giving me a look. “Marcia is coming soon.”
“In a half hour.”
“I can wait. Can you?”
I laugh and kiss him a little bit. That part of our relationship hasn’t changed at all. Sex is a constant with us, almost every single day if we can. That intimacy makes me so happy, in a way that I can barely describe. Joanie makes things harder, but we hired Marcia to come every afternoon and help out for a little bit while we have some much-needed private time.
Our relationship has changed in other ways, though. We’re closer now. We visit his old neighborhood all the time, and we see Chuck pretty often. He even comes out to visit us in our “suburban wasteland” as he likes to call it. But he’s a good godfather and uncle, so I can’t complain.
Sometimes, I miss my brothers, even Michael. I wish they could be in Joanie’s life. I wish Joanie could have grandparents as well, but it doesn’t matter. She’s going to get so much love from me and Gavin that she’ll never know the difference.
Gavin passes me Joanie and stands up. “I’m going to go shower,” he says. “I expect you in there as soon as Marcia shows up. Understood?”
I laugh and nod. “Yes, Daddy.”
He kisses me softly again, then disappears back upstairs. I hold Joanie up and look at her.
“You can do whatever you want in life,” I say softly. “Okay, honey? You’ll be happy. I promise.”
She just gazes back at me, but doesn’t say a word.
I used to be one of the heirs to the Tillman family fortune, but not anymore. I used to have a social position and I was a member of a very well-respected family. I had power and wealth and I don’t miss any of it, not even a little bit.
I’d give it all up. I’d even give up all of Gavin’s money if I had to. I don’t want a single dime if that means I can’t be free to do what I want. I never want to be part of a family that won’t let Joanie do whatever she wants and be whoever she wants to be.
Gavin takes care of me and Joanie. He provides everything we could possibly need and more. He makes me happy. Every day feels like it’s better than the last, all because I have Gavin in my life.
I’m so lucky. I’m so happy I got pregnant with Joanie and I’m so happy that I left my old life behind. Because my new life is so much better than I ever could have guessed.
I don’t need to be stuck doing one thing, forced into a life I don’t want. I can make my own family and my own world.
All I need are Gavin and Joanie, and I’m happy, forever, for the rest of my life. Nothing will change that, and I know that Gavin will always be there for both of us. Every time I think about him, I can’t help but smile.
I just can’t wait for Marcia to get here so that I can go upstairs and let my Daddy make my body feel good.
25
Bonus Epilogue: Sadie
As soon as I step off the plane, the first thing I notice is the sun. It’s bright and low in the sky, but so beautiful.
The second thing I notice is that riding in a private plane is the best thing ever. There’s no wait or lines or anything like that. As soon as we land, the crew helps us off the plane and we walk across the hot tarmac, our bags already in hand.
“What do you think?” Gavin asks me.
I nudge him with my shoulder. “It’s not bad.”
He grins at me. “Not bad?”
I shrug. “Yeah. Just okay.”
“Just okay?” His grin gets bigger. “Gi
rl, this is Hawaii. It’s more than just okay.”
“Fine. It’s beautiful.”
“That’s better.”
And it’s true, it is beautiful. Even just the airport is gorgeous somehow. It’s hot but it’s not overwhelming as we head into the terminal. Gavin leads the way, since apparently he’s been here before for business, which seems like a good story to me. I’d love to be in a business that takes trips to Hawaii, but I guess I am now. I’m in the Gavin business.
As we get a cab and head out toward the resort, I can’t help but think about Joanie back home. This is our first trip away from her in just over a year. I know she’s safe with the nanny, who we’re paying handsomely to watch her for five days, but still. I wish we could have brought her with us, but we both needed a little vacation. Besides, Joanie loves the nanny, and we both trust her implicitly. Not to mention Gavin is paying her stupidly well, so she’d be crazy to mess that up.
Gavin must notice that I’m not paying attention to anything, because he squeezes my hand. “Hey. You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Just thinking about Joanie.”
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s a little weird, being without her.”
“What do you think she’s doing right now?”
He glances at his watch. “Still asleep, I think,” he says. “Or if she’s not, we probably owe Magritte double.”
I can’t help but smile. “Good point.”
“Come on, relax with me. We deserve a honeymoon, don’t we?”
“Yeah, we do,” I say.
“And we can’t have a proper honeymoon with a kid in tow.”
“I know. I know. I just miss her.”
Her gets serious for a second. “I miss her too,” he says, a little wistfully. “You know the way she squeezes my fingers and laughs when I flip her around? I keep thinking about that.”
“Yeah,” I say, smiling at him. “It’s really cute.”
“You’re really cute.” He grins and kisses me softly.
I never expected Gavin to take to fatherhood so effortlessly. But as soon as Joanie came into this world, he changed. All of his priorities are different now. He works a lot less, and even took a few moths off for paternity leave. He hired more people onto his personal staff to help manage his companies, and he’s present for everything important in Joanie’s life. He spends so much time with her that sometimes I get a little jealous.
But these next five days, Gavin is all mine. We didn’t get a honeymoon after we got married, since Joanie was just a tiny infant back then. The marriage ceremony was a small thing, just the two of us plus Chuck and Joanie, but it was perfect. I never wanted a huge wedding anyway, which would have been my destiny if I had remained a Tillman.
I have no regrets about that. I don’t speak to them and they don’t speak to me. We’re in a nice little truce, and I want to keep it that way.
We arrive at the resort fifteen minutes after leaving. “Resort” probably isn’t the word for this place, really. It’s more like a group of ultra expensive and exclusive cabanas loosely grouped around a private beach. There are no kids and each cabana costs a small fortune, so there are few people. The staff is friendly and courteous, and they take care of everything.
The cabana itself is gorgeous and incredibly modern. Everything is gleaming and clean, marble and curving wood. It looks rustic on the outside, but the inside lives up to the expense. I can’t help but flop down on the bed as Gavin looks over the room service menu.
“Hungry?” he asks me.
I shake my head. “I’m never hungry after flying. I don’t know why.”
He grins and sits down near my feet. “What do you want to do then?” he asks.
I shrug slowly. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
His grin turns into a knowing smirk. He grabs my ankle and pulls me down toward him. I laugh as he grabs my hips and slides my shorts down over my hips. He moves up along my body, kissing my lips softly.
“This is what you were thinking about, I bet,” he says.
“Maybe,” I admit, a thrill running through my body.
“We don’t have to be quiet here. We don’t have to worry about Joanie or anything. It’s just the two of us.”
“Yeah,” I say, my heart hammering. “It really is.”
He kisses me again before sliding down my body, kissing my chest and my stomach, stopping at my panties. He slides them over my legs and tosses them aside before spreading my legs wide.
He doesn’t waste any time, and I’m glad he doesn’t. He licks my pussy bottom to top before nibbling on my clit, licking and sucking it, driving me crazy. I love the way he just dives into this, not bothering to wait a single second. It’s like he can’t get enough of me and couldn’t wait any longer.
I run my fingers through his hair as he licks my clit faster, hungry for me. I love the way he touches me, the way he pushes me further and further, makes me feel so good. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have a man like him, someone who’s starving for my skin.
His fingers slide inside of me as he continues to suck and lick my clit. Pleasure rocks through me and I grab his hair tighter. I thought he was gong to fuck me, but I suddenly realize that he has other plans.
He spreads my legs wide, fingers hammering into my pussy, tongue lapping up my clit. At home, I’d have to hold back a little bit, try and be a little quiet so that I don’t wake up Joanie. But here, I let loose.
It feels so good to moan that way I want to moan. I really get vocal when something feels good, and it’s incredibly to finally get to be as loud as I want.
“That’s right Sadie girl,” Gavin says. “Say my fucking name.”
“Daddy,” I moan, low and deep. “Oh fuck Daddy. Are you trying to make me come?”
“That’s right,” he says, fingers still fucking me. “So come for me, you dirty girl.”
“Yes,” I gasp as he goes back to my clit, working me faster, sucking and licking. “Oh shit, Daddy.”
The orgasm blows through me, fast and intense. I didn’t expect it so happen so soon, but it feels so fucking good to finally let loose and be free. It’s totally liberating to be alone here with him, not worried about anything but feeling good.
He laps me up and finishes by kissing me gently on the lips. He leaves me there, panting and sweating slightly on the bed, while he disappears into the bathroom.
“Gavin?” I call out.
He comes out a second later in a bathing suit. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s go to the beach.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re too much.”
He comes over and kisses me again. “Nothing better after an orgasm than a day on the sand.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” I kiss him deeply before getting up to get changed.
A couple hours later, we’re both sitting on a beautiful white sand beach in little chairs, sipping on sweet cold drinks. Mine is a Piña Colada while Gavin sticks with the classic Rum Punch.
“This is the life,” he says, smiling at me.
I nod. “Can’t complain.”
“I have to admit, I’m surprised at how well you’re taking to this,” he says.
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“Well, I didn’t think you’d like just relaxing.”
“True,” I admit. “I like being busy. But a few days isn’t bad. Plus, you’re the one that works too hard.”
“Maybe,” he says, laughing. “But I’m good at turning off for vacation time.”
I smile before turning back to the ocean. The water is so blue and clear, it almost looks fake. The Pacific Ocean is so gorgeous, not at all like the brownish green sludge of the Atlantic that I’m used to. My family would go to the Hamptons all the time, but the Hamptons pale in comparison to Hawaii.
As we’re sitting there, I start to look around at the other people. There aren’t many of them, maybe twenty at the most. They’re all couples and they’re scattered around, spread out pretty far. Everyone has plenty of priva
cy though we’re not alone. It’s the ideal set up, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t feel isolated, but I also don’t feel crowded.
As I’m looking around, I notice someone glancing back at us. She’s a woman, probably my mother’s age, dressed in an expensive-looking cover-up with light brown hair. As soon as I look her way, she quickly turns back toward the ocean.
I stare at her for a second, and there’s a nagging sensation in the back of my mind. I can’t explain it exactly. I feel like I know that woman, but I can’t place her just from the back of her head. I take a deep breath and look back at the ocean, deciding to forget about her for the time being. I’m on vacation right now.
“I’m going into the water,” I say absently to Gavin.
“Enjoy,” he says.
I get up and stretch. I slip off my cover-up, make sure I have sunscreen on every inch of my pale skin, and then head down to the ocean.
I get into the water slowly. It’s warmer than I’m used to, but I’m not a great swimmer. I wade in up to my waist and enjoy the slow waves, not wanting to go any further. Nobody else is in the water, but that doesn’t matter to me.
I feel at peace out in the ocean despite my poor swimming ability. I can’t see anyone else, just the endless blue, the intense and impossibly endlessness of the ocean. It feels good to feel so small sometimes, and I dunk myself under the salty water, letting the water run down my face.
When I come up, I hear some splashing behind me. I half turn toward the shore and I realize that the woman that I noticed earlier is standing in the water up to her calves, staring at me.
It takes me half a second to realize that I know her, and that I know her pretty well.
“Sadie,” she says. “Hello.”
“Mrs. Vanderhoot,” I answer, completely shocked to see her. “Uh, hello. How are you?”
“Fine.” Her face is a tight line and she does not seem pleased to see me. “I wasn’t aware that you and your…. husband would be here.”
Patricia Vanderhoot is an old money woman from back in the city. I knew her daughter, Layla, back when we were in school together. We weren’t friends, but we were both in the chorus together, so I met her parents a few times. They’re classic conservative rich people, exactly the way my old family used to be.
