Our relationship had continued to grow in passion, and it was hard to get enough of each other in the moments he was home and not out working. Those moments seemed few and far between most days, leaving little time for anything else to develop between us that wasn’t associated with taking our clothes off.
“So what do you say, darlin’? You wanna learn surfing or not?” Kristian asked.
“I don’t know.”
Sam threw a piece of bread across the table, hitting Kristian in the head. “Quit hitting on my wife.”
Kristian laughed. “I’m not hitting on her.”
“Then quit calling her darlin’.”
Kristian continued laughing and I grew a little warmer on the inside, enjoying the hint of jealousy from Sam. “I’m just offering Leesh the chance to get out of the house. You can’t keep her locked up here forever.”
I didn’t want to be locked up forever. Since the excursion to meet my father, I hadn’t left the property once. I could go out and swim laps in the pool, even go running around the perimeter, but I couldn’t pass the tree line. I needed to be in sight at all times, like a minimum-security prison.
“Take her now, then,” Sam said. “Should be flat at Winkipop since the swell was only four feet at Rincon this morning. Just take good care of my girl. I’ve grown quite fond of her.” He leaned closer and kissed my shoulder, skimming his hand a little higher on my thigh. “Why don’t you go up and get changed?” he instructed. “Give me a minute with the boys.”
“Sure.” He squeezed my thigh and I stood, taking dishes into the kitchen before I headed upstairs to get my bathers on.
Jasmine’s voice caused me to freeze in my tracks. She was standing at the farthest point of the kitchen, one hand on the benchtop and her back to me, a mobile phone pressed against her ear.
“I just want us to be a family,” she said, pausing as she listened to the voice on the other end. “That wasn’t my intention. She was being insolent… I understand… Yes… Please, Nathaniel, just come to dinner. I can make it up to her. I’ll be nothing but nice.”
Well, that answered who she was talking to. It didn’t surprise me that it was Nate on the other end since she’d seemed so hurt that Sam and Toby had spoken to him when she hadn’t. She obviously liked to keep close tabs on her sons, much like my father always kept tabs on me. The difference being that Jasmine wasn’t pushing her sons away, she was doing her best to bring everyone back together, despite her obvious dislike towards Holland. If only my father could be the same way.
Not wanting to interrupt what was possibly meant to be a private conversation, I ducked my head and slid my bowl into the dishwasher as quietly as I could. Jasmine heard though and turned to face me with a start.
“Sorry,” I mouthed.
She held up her hand like it was no bother, then signalled for me to wait while she finished up. “Tonight, then,” she said, just before she lowered her phone and hit the End Call button. She sighed, then met my eyes. “That was Nathanial. He and Holland will be joining us for dinner this evening. What does she like to eat? I’m to make her feel as welcome as possible.”
“She likes roast lamb and potatoes au gratin. She doesn’t really have a favourite vegetable, but she’s not picky.”
She walked over to the fridge and looked inside before sighing. “I’m going to have to go to the supermarket.” She turned back to me. “Would you like to come?”
“Oh.” I felt horrible refusing her when it was the first time she’d offered to take me somewhere. “I’m actually supposed to have a surfing lesson with Kristian.”
“That’s fine,” she said, looking at her watch. “If you can be back by four, that’ll give us enough time to prepare the food.”
“OK.” I grinned. I didn’t know why, but the whole interaction made me happy. I was going to the beach and my best friend was coming to dinner tonight. I turned and almost skipped away.
“Alesha?” she called before I made it to the stairs.
“Yes?”
“Do you like it here?”
I placed my hand against the archway that led to the stairs and crossed my feet at the ankles. That was a hard one. If I gave her the answer I thought she wanted, she’d probably know I was lying and call me on it. But if I told the truth, I risked insulting her and ending the tenuous relationship we’d already established.
I went with something in the middle. “I don’t hate it.”
She nodded, her expression unchanged. “Enjoy your surf lesson.”
“Thank you,” I said, spinning around and rushing up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I was excited to be going somewhere and doing something where I wouldn’t have to worry so much about my behaviour for a couple of hours. Kristian was super easy-going, and I figured the lesson would be fun and relaxed.
Once in the bathroom, I wriggled out of my jeans and underwear, then pulled off my T-shirt and crop top. I was just reaching for the swimsuit I had drying on the towel rack when the door cracked open and Sam appeared.
“Jesus,” I gasped, grabbing for the nearest towel and covering my nakedness from his sight. “You scared the life out of me.”
“When are you going to quit being so modest around me? I’ve seen everything you’re hiding several times over.” He grinned and looked at my towel-covered body. “In fact, I’m picturing it all right now. That towel is hiding nothing from my memory.”
My cheeks burned. “I don’t know. It’s just a habit, I guess.” I held the towel a little tighter, my body trembling as he stalked a little closer. It wasn’t that I was scared of him, it was just that he made me nervous. Despite the amount of time we’d spent together, despite his assurances, despite his obvious hunger, I still felt unsure of him. I felt unworthy.
He stopped right in front of me. “You aren’t this modest when you’re screaming my name.”
“That’s different,” I whispered. “My heads all cloudy then.”
He dropped to his knees in front of me, gripping my hips. “I’d like to make it all cloudy now.”
“I’m supposed to be getting ready.”
Parting the opening of the towel, he pressed his lips at the point where my thigh met my hips. “You are. You’re getting ready for me.” He tugged at the towel, pulling it away from my body dramatically.
Oh my.
“But Kristian’s waiting.” I didn’t even know why I was still protesting—my pussy was already aching for his touch.
He slid his hand up my stomach, fingers pressing against my chest and then raking back down as he peppered kisses over my thighs, his hot breath fanning over my juices. “Let him wait. You’re my wife, and I want you now.”
He hooked one of my thighs over his shoulder and lifted me just high enough that my pussy was aligned with his face. Then his tongue swept between my folds and I moaned. God, he does amazing things to me.
Unable to keep both feet on the ground, I lifted my other leg and Sam pushed it onto his other shoulder before rising to his knees, my back sliding against the wall as I held onto his head for balance.
“My God,” I gasped as he sucked back harder, his tongue moving inside me and then back to suck against my clit, the rhythm and pressure causing my insides to tighten and swell. I could feel my orgasm only moments away. “It’s happening. Sam. I’m right there. Oh. Fuck.” I exploded, my hips bucking against his mouth as his tongue sucked and swirled, speared and tasted. I could barely see from all the stars.
When the raging pulses subsided, he lowered my feet to the ground, then stood in front of me before kissing me passionately, pinning me against the wall with his body—which was just as well, because after that, I could barely stand.
“Get dressed,” he whispered, breathless as he withdrew.
“What?” That wasn’t how things usually went. My hands flew out and grabbed his shirt. “What about… you know… the rest of it?”
Half of his mouth pulled up into a wicked grin and he kissed me again, causing my head to spin and
my chest to hum with desire. “Later,” he murmured against my mouth. “It’ll give you something to come back to.” Then he handed me my bathers and left the room with me standing there naked and a little confused. Did that mean he thought I might try to run? That I was going to get on that board and paddle until I reached Tasmania? Huh. The concept intrigued me.
I knew he was enjoying me in the bedroom. Even with my limited understanding of men, I knew having sex on tap was something guys liked the idea of. But I didn’t know how much he was truly into me, the person. Did that mean he was in this marriage as much as I was? Or was I just overthinking the entire situation?
I shook my head and pulled my bathers up my legs. Only time would tell. I didn’t expect Sam to view me as his soulmate, but I did expect that one day he might grow to love me. I wanted that. I dared not even think it too loudly, but it was something my soul craved—a person to love me, quirks and all. If I could do everything right, maybe Sam would be that guy.
Chapter Eleven
Because You’re Family
“There are literally no waves at this beach. How am I supposed to surf?” I looked out at the gentle ripples that attempted to call themselves waves as Kristian and I carried our boards down the wooden steps.
He chuckled and shook his head. “You wanna learn to surf, or you wanna drown your first time out?”
“Learn to surf,” I said, the answer fairly obvious.
“Then this is how we learn.”
When we got to the soft sand, we stopped about fifteen metres away from the water where and he dropped his board on the ground, explaining what a rail was and how I was supposed to attach the leg rope.
“What we’re gonna do is get you learning your positioning and practise your paddling.”
“Then will we learn how to catch a wave?”
“No. Then I’ll teach you duck diving and turtle rolls.”
“Do any of these involve real ducks or real turtles?”
“No.”
“Then none of this sounds very fun so far,” I said, teasing him a little as I folded my arms across my chest.
He laughed. “Quit being a brat. You’ve got to put in a bit of work before you can have fun. Now get in the bloody water.”
With a smile on my face, I picked up the board he’d loaned me and tucked it under my arm, walking beside him until we were knee-deep in the salty water.
“First, we’re working on positioning.” He showed me how to place my body on the board, centred so it wouldn’t roll too far back or forward. Once he’d made me do that about thirty thousand times, we moved on to paddling, which made my arms burn like a mother.
“No wonder you lot all have such big arms,” I commented as I heaved myself and my board on another lap between the two trees I was using as my guide. At the end of each lap, he had me get off the board, position myself correctly and then paddle off again. The lesson had been going for an hour, and I was exhausted.
“Had enough for today?” he asked when I slid off the board and leaned against it, a little too puffed to haul myself back on.
I nodded. “I tip my hat to you. I thought I was fit, but I’m not this fit.”
“It’ll come with practise.” He kindly helped me carry my board back up to the beach, where we took a seat on the sand while we disconnected our leg ropes.
“Thanks for this,” I said after a few moments. Looking out over the water was calming. It made me feel peaceful and focused.
“No worries. I could see you getting a bit of cabin fever. But you think this is something you wanna keep doing?”
“If you can handle my complaining.” I glanced at him and grinned, making him chuckle.
“You’re OK,” he said, knocking shoulders with me. “But we should get back. Jasmine will have a fit if we’re not back soon, and Sam will start to think I’ve stolen you for myself.”
“Jasmine I understand, but I doubt Sam would be that worried.”
Kristian looked at me for a long moment. “What makes you so sure?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not like he chose me.”
“You don’t think he’s into you?”
“Time will tell. The novelty hasn’t worn off yet.”
“The novelty of what? Being married, or being with a new girl?”
New girl. The comment only served to remind me that there had been women before me. It wasn’t something I liked thinking about. Would my inexperience mean he’d grow bored sooner?
“Both.”
“Maybe it won’t wear off at all.”
“When a kid gets a puppy for Christmas, he loves it, feeds it, walks it every day. Then the puppy stops being new, life gets more important and the walking stops. He feeds the dog because he has to, but he does it with a sigh because it’s become a job. Eventually he gives that dog to a shelter when it starts tearing the furniture apart because it’s bored. He says there’s something wrong with it, and he doesn’t have the time to fix it. And when that dog gets destroyed instead of rehomed, he isn’t sad. He’s just glad it’s not his responsibility anymore.”
When I finished, he just stared at me. “That surprises you?” I asked, trying to figure out exactly what was behind the knit in his brow. Was it shock? Confusion? Was he checking to see if I had a second head?
“Your family must be really fucked up for you to think like that.”
I looked away. “Maybe.”
Standing up, he brushed the sand from his board shorts, then held his hand out to me. “Maybe you should watch the way Toby is with Rogue. That dog is ten years old, and Toby loves him as much as he did the day he got him. We’re all like that. Once you become a part of the family, you’re a part of it for life. We always take care of our own.”
His eyes were sincere, and I wished his words could make me feel better. But when I wasn’t enough for my own mother, and my father so readily turned his back on me, how could I be expected to believe Sam and his family wouldn’t quit me too? The only person who hadn’t given up on me was Holland. But now… I missed her friendship. Her contact. Her strength. Was she even OK?
“Come on.” He continued to hold out his hand, stubbornly.
With a sigh, I took it and collected my towel and board, rolling his words around in my mind and holding onto them for a while. It would be nice if they were true. It would be great to truly belong somewhere.
“What the fuck?” Kristian raked his fingers through the sand.
“What’s wrong?”
“My stuff. It’s gone.”
“What’s gone? Where?”
“I don’t fucking know.” He dug more furiously, widening his search. “My keys. They’re gone. I had them under the towels. Fuck.” He stood up and looked around the beach, then squinted up to the staircase that led up the cliff. I followed his gaze and saw a flash of light hair. Someone was running. “Shit,” he hissed, taking off at a sprint towards the stairs.
I gathered our towels and the boards and followed him as fast as I could, my mind in a panic. What if they took the ute? How would we get back? Jasmine was expecting us. Sam would think I ran.
Wait.
When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I stopped. What if I don’t follow? What if I drop everything right here and run? He was on foot. He wouldn’t catch me if I was fast. There were multiple beach exits; I could take any of them and flag a car down on the main road. If I left now, I could quit before Sam realised what a mistake it was to marry me, leave before they changed their minds about keeping me around. I could only contain the crazy inside me for so long. It was only a matter of time before I said or did something so far outside the box that I horrified them. That whole dog story was just the tip of the iceberg. Kristian had looked at me like I was mildly insane. So far, only Holland had managed to overlook my… quirks.
Holland.
She was coming for dinner. If I ran now, I’d never see her again. And what if Jasmine really did follow through with her threat and hurt everyone you care about? The
voice inside my head made a good point.
And what about Sam?
I really, really liked Sam, because he was the first man to accept me in any way at all. He told me I was perfect. Beautiful. Was that enough for me in the long run, or could it be more? I wanted it to be more. I wanted to fall in love, wanted him to fall in love with me, painfully, desperately. But I didn’t think that could be possible.
You love him already, my inner voice said.
No I don’t. I don’t. I doubted him—that was how I felt towards Sam.
Bullshit. You l—
“Fucking bitch!” The sound of Kristian yelling in a rage snapped me out of the argument with my inner self. I shook my head, shaking the jumble in there straight before I picked up the boards and started up the stairs.
Forget Sam. Forget Holland. You should run, my inner self insisted.
And go where? Nobody wants me.
You have your house. You can sell it, start somewhere new.
I can’t, I responded, rushing up the steps two at a time.
Why?
“Because I’m a Cartwright now,” I said out loud.
That’s three times. You’ve chosen the Cartwrights three times now.
Inner me was right, I had chosen them three times. I chose them when I agreed to the marriage. I chose them when I lied to my family. And I chose them when I climbed the stairs instead of choosing to run. They kept telling me I was one of them, I guess now, I had to believe it. I obviously didn’t want to leave or I would have found a way.
“Did you see her?” Kristian asked as I reached the carpark.
“No. I was getting the boards.” And contemplating living a life on the run. It amazed me that he didn’t seem to have given a thought to the possibility that I could have taken off.
“Some fucking bitch just stole my car. Now she has my wallet, my phone, my favourite fucking shirt.” He picked up a rock and hurled it into the street. It bounced twice, then skidded. “Fuck!”
Fools Rush In Page 10
