by Galli, Lynn
No. Bad buddy, bad.
I reached into the fridge for the avocados I’d picked up hoping she’d follow through on her promise to make fresh guacamole some time. She could do it tonight. She liked cooking. I didn’t unless I was helping her. Typically I lived on whatever I could grill, sandwiches, and frozen dinners.
I started chopping the tomatoes when the bathroom door opened and closed. She’d found the clothes. I tried not to imagine her wrapped in a towel, but it was difficult. Had I done this with other friends? Did I picture Vivian naked when we’d first met? I know I’d never crushed on her because she was way too gorgeous for me. I never knew why I did that. I was interested in any woman who was a four to an eight on my scale. When they were tens like Viv, it was like my brain shut off the attraction part. No, I never pictured Vivian naked. J&B, sure, many, many times, and I definitely wouldn’t bed them. So there, it was a normal thing for me. Attractive woman, picture her naked.
Falyn appeared looking far better than I ever did in my baseball jersey. “You got a lot done.” She smiled and took a spot next to me. She smelled like my soap and rosemary scented shampoo, both familiar and comforting. “Better?” One eyebrow rose as she glanced at me.
“You didn’t have to.”
She studied my eyes, which no longer felt itchy or watery. “Yes, I did. It won’t happen again.”
I wanted to tell her not to quit smoking for me. I wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t worry about how I reacted to smoke on her clothes and hair. I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t my business what habits she kept or lost, but I didn’t because no one had ever changed their habits for me. No one. And to think she’d try felt really good. Like I was as important to her as she was to me.
That was it, what felt so good about her. I was as important to her as she was to me. I’d never had that either. I felt myself turning to stare at her. Her hair was still wet and looked sexy. Her lips pressed tightly together in concentration while she peeled the avocados. Her contoured jaw tilted down as she worked with her graceful hands.
Heat pulsed out from my chest, flooding my arms and face. My heart twitched and started pumping double-time. Sparks swirled in my stomach. I gripped the counter for balance. This wasn’t how I’d felt about any of the tourist flings. It wasn’t how I’d felt about the snowbirds I’d been involved with. It wasn’t even how I felt about my crushes. This was substantial.
“What?” She noticed I’d stopped slicing the tomatoes. “Did you cut yourself?” She turned and reached for my hand, tenderly inspecting each finger.
“No,” I said in a daze but didn’t pull my hand back.
“Oh, good, you scared me. Cole got a jolt today, and I probably went all grey from the scare.”
The news put the flare of lust in check. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he just forgot to throw the breaker first, but it scared both of us. Natalie must have lectured him for a half hour after that.”
I chuckled. Natalie was pretty obsessive about safety. “What do you mean all grey?”
“I’ve been heading that way for a while now.”
My eyes flipped up to her damp hair. The blond looked darker wet. I wanted to reach up and run my fingers through the strands curled over her collar. “You don’t dye your hair?”
“Two years now.”
“No.”
“Same color, just covering the white streak.”
“Premature grey. HotNess!”
She laughed and my heart pumped faster. I hadn’t been kidding, but I let her think I had been. “Just wait, lady. When you get ancient like me, you’ll want to remember what your natural color is before you start dyeing.”
“You’re only four and a half years older.”
“Your body will give out, you’ll groan when you sit and stand, you’ll say things like ‘when I was a kid,’ and you’ll think you’re too young to go grey.”
“You’re definitely too young.”
She gave a wistful smile and went back to stirring the Spanish rice she had in a pan. I tried not to stare, but it wasn’t every day I learned I had actual feelings for someone. Feelings that we’d both decided couldn’t be explored. Or shouldn’t be explored. Or something like that. What had we decided? Oh, yes, not to sleep together because we were better as friends. But that was when sleeping together was just sex.
“Okay, really.” She stopped stirring and focused completely on me. “What’s up? Did your weekend go okay? Any assholes?”
She asked. Tessa, my friend of many years, hadn’t asked. Hadn’t cared enough to ask. I’d known Falyn months rather than years, and she cared enough to be concerned about my work. I really needed to figure out what do to about her.
20
Vivian asked me to pick her up at the jobsite. Her brother needed her car for some reason and Natalie was giving her nephew driving lessons later. Viv felt like dinner out, which we hadn’t done alone in a while.
I skirted past Natalie’s truck, two other trucks, an SUV, and Falyn’s bike on the now paved driveway up to Vivian’s house. Guess I was early since the whole crew was still there. It would give me a chance to inspect the project a little longer.
Viv’s nephews darted out of the house as I hit the bottom step. I broke into a grin. I had a little love affair going with these cuties. Their mom, Cassie, appeared in the doorway after them, waving hello.
“Hey, guys.” I stopped to say hello. “You helping your aunt build her place?”
“She needs us to help,” Teddy told me.
“I’m sure she does.” I patted the seven-year-old’s hard hat and scooped up his younger brother, Mason, for a surprise squeeze. He giggled and squirmed out of my arms.
“C’mon, Ms. Molly, you got to see what we did.” Mase tugged on my hand.
“We’re late to meet your dad, boys,” Cassie told them, coming forward to give me a quick hug. “Aunt Viv can do the show and tell.”
“Okay,” Mason agreed easily. He never whined. If I ever had kids, I’d want one just like Mase.
“Viv’s upstairs with Sammi.” Cassie herded the boys down the driveway. “You can still make it to Viv’s b-day cookout, can’t you? The usual gang will be there, and Nat’s entire crew is showing up.”
I’d switched with one of the new guys so I could take Sunday off. Cassie could throw a mean birthday bash, but I was really looking forward to spending the day with Falyn. Since I worked weekends and she worked on my days off, we hadn’t had a whole day to hang together.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” I waved and stepped up into the house, spotting Miguel first and saying hello.
He looked up as he dropped another stack of sanded boards at his feet. “Good to see you, Molly. You here to help?”
“I’m here to steal Viv.” I watched as Tyler and Curtis nailed the boards horizontally on two of the walls. I’d seen Vivian’s drawings for this room. The boards would be whitewashed, making the room feel more beach cottage than rustic, which suited Vivian’s style perfectly.
I reached for my cellphone and snapped a picture for my mom. We liked exchanging snapshots of whatever was going on around us on our weekly calls. Sometimes she’d just send a picture of what she made for dinner. She could play really dirty, too. If a photo with an entire Polish feast appeared on my phone, she was almost guaranteeing I’d jump on a plane. No one cooked her native Polish food better than Mama.
“Wait, let me take my hat off.” Tyler whipped off the hat and patted down his hair. He stepped directly into the view of my camera and posed, flexing his arms while holding up the board for Curtis to nail.
Curtis moved to block Tyler’s face with his nail gun, shooting me a winning grin. “Who’s getting the pics?”
“My mom. She won’t be coming up until after you’re done with the place.”
“I’m available for all kinds of modeling gigs,” Tyler joked as I snapped one last picture of the downstairs and started for the staircase.
Upstairs, I found Ramón and Natalie install
ing glass pocket doors in Vivian’s studio slash Natalie’s office. In the guestroom, Cole and Falyn were fiddling with the receptacles. I smiled at the size of the room, just large enough to accommodate their nephews but not large enough to encourage the rest of Vivian’s family to use the room as their own private ski lodge. Typical Vivian.
“What’s up, Molls?” Cole greeted.
“Hey, guys,” I said, stopping to watch their progress.
Falyn tipped her head with a smile. She concentrated on finishing what she was doing before looking at me. “You just stopping by?”
I watched her long fingers deftly straighten the switch and grab another screw to secure it in place. Before meeting her, I’d never found construction work alluring. Now I couldn’t pry my eyes away. “Viv and I are getting dinner. You want to come?”
“I’m going for a bike ride with Lena and Brooke tonight. Thanks, though.”
I felt a twinge of disappointment, but happiness broke through when I realized that she had made some other good friends in town. No more talk of leaving town if she had lots of friends anchoring her here. “Hunter Creek’s a nice trail. If you don’t go tonight, we can try it next time.”
“Hey, you snuck in.” Vivian poked her head out of the bathroom. She and Samantha joined us, loaded down with sample tiles.
“Not quite ready, I see.”
“We’re trying to decide on tiles for the bath up here.”
“Crucial,” I joked and received a shoulder smack.
Falyn and Cole laughed but went back to work as soon as they caught Vivian’s mock glare. Samantha winked at me and hustled back into the bathroom.
“Mama wants pics,” I said, capturing the view from the open balcony to the first floor.
“How is Morela?” she asked. “They’re still coming in November, right? They’ll be able to see it finished.”
“Yep, and she will be expecting a tour.” Usually I went to Phoenix to visit my parents, but I’d be turning forty in November, so they were headed this way to celebrate. “You want in?” I gestured with my camera before lining up a shot that included Vivian.
I turned the camera back to the guestroom and raised my brow in silent question at Falyn. She started to shake her head, but Cole cut her off by throwing an arm around her shoulders and posing them both. I snapped the shot before she could come up with a reason why she’d never shown me a photo with her in it despite seeing every photo album I had. “Thanks, guys. My mom likes to see who I’m hanging with.” And was especially curious about Falyn even without knowing that we’d been intimate once.
“If we’re lucky, she’ll cook for us when she gets here,” Vivian told them. “You thought Tamiko’s gyoza was good, wait till you have Morela’s pierogi.”
“Pierogi?” Ramón asked. “Are you Russian, Molly?”
“Polish,” I told him, feeling the pride of my mother’s immigrant status puff me up. She’d come to America at eighteen and worked as a hotel maid for ten years before she met my dad in a Polish community center. Their marriage came far later in life than her culture would consider acceptable at the time. Everyone else in her family had gotten married by the time they were nineteen. I loved that she’d bucked every tradition without disrespecting any of them. I hoped to do the same.
Falyn glanced over and winked. She knew how much my parents and their heritage meant to me. She didn’t feel the same way about her ethnicity. She was a mix of Scandinavian, Dutch, English and some others she wasn’t sure about. Yet she let me drone on and on about my mom’s story and visiting Poland to meet her side of the family. She listened and asked questions and encouraged me to talk all I wanted about something she didn’t find important for herself. But I did, so she liked hearing about it. She was the best kind of friend.
“First generation,” Vivian added. “Her mom’s got the best accent.”
That was true. I’d been guilty of calling Mama just to let her accent soothe me.
“Will you’ll bring some for us to taste?” Ramón asked.
“I’ll invite you over for dinner when she’s here,” I promised then turned back to Vivian and gestured to the sample tiles. “Which one are you going with?”
“Natalie?” Vivian got her attention. “Got a sec?”
She set the door she was holding against the wall and went to Vivian with a dreamy smile. Now that’s what a woman in love looked like. I might not be completely sure of my feelings where Falyn was concerned yet, but I didn’t look like that.
“Which do you like better?” Vivian laid out the tile samples in the light from the French doors to the balcony off the studio.
She watched Natalie carefully. Falyn and Cole had stopped working to watch her, too. Something was going on, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Natalie looked at each sample. Three were different marbles, one was glass mosaic, and another travertine. They were all beautiful and looked expensive, but one of Vivian’s many design talents was finding expensive-looking materials at budget prices. My eyes immediately went to the marble with the greenish tint in the veins.
Natalie considered each then looked up at her girlfriend. “Are you asking because you like all five equally and want my preference? Or are you asking because you think I should have a say in decisions like this?”
Vivian’s lips quirked, a motion I’d seen many times over the years. Natalie had guessed exactly what she was thinking and she was tickled by it. “I’ve been having my way with everything in here.”
“You’re allowed. This has been your dream since you went to design school, hon.”
“Yes, but it’ll be yours, too. You should get some say.”
I swallowed the pang of envy I felt. Vivian and Natalie would be moving in together when the house was done. Something Vivian had wanted since I’d known her. Romance and love and companionship, all of which Natalie provided. It never occurred to me to think about moving in with someone before dating at least a year, but I didn’t think anything of them going for it. Odd that I felt more sure of their relationship than I had about any of mine. My eyes shot to Falyn. Well, maybe not all my relationships.
“I got to choose all the materials we used in the structure. You even redesigned the master bathroom for me,” Natalie continued.
“But that was as much for me as you,” Vivian said and I found myself nodding in agreement. Who wouldn’t want a two-sided shower, back to back vanities and cabinets, a large soaking tub, and separate toilet rooms? I’d seen her do something similar at Lena’s house a year ago, but she’d outdone herself for her own house.
“You’re letting me use reclaimed wood and the best materials.”
“You really don’t mind if I make all the design decisions?” Vivian reached out and grabbed Natalie’s hand. They looked good together, but better, they were good together.
“It’s been your dream, Vivi,” Natalie said sweetly.
I almost rolled my eyes. Was anyone really that sweet to the woman she loved? Okay, yes, Natalie was. I’d had a year of proof to know that. None of my girlfriends were ever that sweet. I was expected to be the sweet, accommodating one.
Falyn shot me a look that said she knew exactly what I was thinking. We’d just witnessed another nauseating moment between our two friends but were both secretly happy about it. Yet another reason she and I made a good pair. Of buddies, of course. But maybe more. In time.
21
We strolled through City Market using one cart for our groceries. Before meeting Falyn, I really didn’t like grocery shopping. It was mundane and tedious. Not being a cook probably added to the boredom of collecting the same kind of food every week. With Falyn, it was an event. Something to do together.
“Did I forget the boys’ beer?” She glanced back and rifled through her half of the cart.
“You did,” I confirmed. “But shouldn’t the boys be buying that?”
“We finished their case last night. I’m not leaving them with an empty shelf.”
I felt a sm
ile pull at my lips. Her courtesy was one of the things I liked most about her. Making simple things fun was another checkmark on her list of appealing attributes. Grocery shopping, folding laundry, even biking around the neighborhood. I’d come to think of my bike as a work tool only. With Falyn, it became a fun activity again. She didn’t care if we were biking mountain trails or streets. She just liked to ride her bike, and I liked riding with her.
“You want spaghetti for dinner?” she asked. “I think the guys are home, so I better get double.”
“Triple,” I inserted. They ate a lot. Normally I’d be disappointed not to have Falyn to myself, but she made hanging out with her housemates almost as enjoyable as spending time alone.
“Let me run back and grab their beer.”
“Are you making the sauce, or should I get a jar?”
“Jar?” She gave me a scathing look at the idea of tomato sauce from a jar. She and my mom were going to get along great. “Thanks for the reminder. I’ll grab enough tomatoes for the sauce tonight and a practice run on the dip I’m bringing to Cassie’s. Meet you over in the bakery aisle for the garlic bread.”
Garlic. No kissing tonight. Not that I should be thinking about kissing my buddy in the middle of the grocery store or anywhere for that matter. Yet, more and more lately, I was wondering why we weren’t kissing and why we’d shut down any sexual intimacy. We were sharing other intimacies. She certainly knew me well enough. She even knew how I’d react to things almost before I did. I’d never had that with friends or girlfriends before.
I wheeled the cart out of the aisle and started for the end of the store. I recognized one of my neighbors. She had her toddler with her, so I was saved from having a long conversation. After a quick hello, I made my way to the bakery section.
“What’s up, Molly?”
Ugh. Cherise. Not my favorite chick, but small town rules demanded politeness. Especially since she was one of an even smaller cluster of lesbians. If I wanted to continue hanging out with J&B, I had to act like I liked Cherise since they were friends.
