A Walk In The Wilderness

by Nancy Hopper

  “So what do I do to set this straight?” he growled angrily.

  Caitlin folded her arms protectively. “You might just let me know the truth. Who is Connie, and who is Jamie?”

  “Connie is someone I used to date. She had a baby. His name is Jamie. She says he’s mine but she’s never been willing to get a blood test and prove it. She just hangs him over my head all the time.” He sighed.

  “Oh.” Caitlin answered quietly. Her heart had sunk to her stomach and lay there, like a heavy stone.

  “Caitlin, it has nothing to do with me, really. I haven’t lied to you.”

  “That’s nice to know. People were talking like Connie was going to come unglued if she found out you were dating someone else.”

  He shrugged. “She generally pitches a fit.” He admitted.

  “I see.” Caitlin sighed.

  He looked at her, beseeching her to understand. “I didn’t want to spring all this on you, on our first date. Come on, Caitlin. Surely you can understand why I didn’t tell you all this carry on right away.”

  “Of course I can.” She admitted.

  “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked doggedly.

  “Well; I do need to get some rest and pretty soon I need to get busy studying for my finals. But perhaps tomorrow afternoon, for a short time.” She agreed hesitantly.

  “Great. I’ll pick you up at three, if that’s all right.”

  “Sure.” She answered immediately. “I’ll see you then.” She gave him a quick smile and darted out of the car. She walked quickly to her door and let herself in. Just as she was ready to close it, she turned her eyes and saw him standing in the parking lot, watching.

  She closed the door firmly and locked it immediately. Then, she shivered. She was quickly becoming very uncomfortable with this scenario.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Skyler knocked on her door at precisely three o’clock the following afternoon. He took her to the Botanical gardens on the outskirts of town. He was congenial and affable, laid back and yet attentive. Caitlin began to relax and enjoy herself when she realized that he was staying in his corner. She found that Sky could be a very pleasant companion when he managed to control his impulses.

  Their conversation relaxed the atmosphere even further, and things looked much less stressful in the light of day. Skyler even told her a bit about Jamie, and showed her a picture of the child. He admitted that he saw the boy quite often, to give him a male presence in his life. He said that he really didn’t care whether the boy was his or not, from that standpoint.

  Caitlin actually thought highly of it, and told him so. He was amazed by her attitude, and things got a bit better between them as a result. Cait suspected that Skyler would still prefer to be moving ahead at lightning speed, but he was being very respectful of her wishes. She appreciated it.

  The gardens were beautiful. After spending a couple of hours enjoying the scenery, they bought corn dogs at a stand outside the park, and sat on a bench to eat.

  “Will you come to the concert tonight?” he asked hopefully.

  Caitlin smiled and shook her head regretfully. “I’m sorry. I really can’t. I have to work on my paper or I’ll never get it done in time. And I do have to study for a test. It’s imperative.”

  “But, Caitlin. You’re not going to need that degree.” He objected.

  “What makes you say that?” she asked warily.

  “When we are married, you’ll never have to work a day in your life. I promise.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “First of all, Skyler, I am light years away from making any decisions about marriage. Second, I don’t know you well enough to even consider such a relationship. Third, it would be ridiculous for me to throw away a degree I’ve worked toward for years, at the last moment -- simply because you want to get married and you’d rather I skip my studies to come to your concert. And last but not least, I will always make my own decisions about whether or not I work, regardless of my marital status.”

  He laughed, undaunted. “That’s fine with me, Caitlin. You’ll always be free to call the shots. You can finish that degree and any others you'd like to have. However, there will be times when it’s impossible for you to work.”

  “Oh? Why is that?” she baited. She couldn’t help herself.

  “When you are heavy, carrying my child. When you are holding my baby at your breast.” He suggested softly. He put his hand on her thigh and rubbed it suggestively.

  She pushed his hand off her leg firmly. “Please do not do that.” She hissed. He had made her very angry, and frightened her to her core.

  He sighed. “Caitlin, you’re so very … skittish. What do I have to do to earn your trust?”

  She shrugged and spoke carefully. “Trust takes time, Skyler. I am not enjoying the steamroller treatment.”

  “Steamroller treatment?” he snapped in frustration. “Caitlin, do you realize that I am going to be leaving very soon?” he asked bitterly. “Time is the one thing I don’t have much of.”

  She shook her head doggedly. “I’m sorry to disagree, Skyler, but you are also sadly lacking in patience. I am not concerned about your impending departure. I hate to be blunt, but I guess I can’t help it.”

  “The distance between us won’t stop me from courting you, you know.” He advised confidently.

  “Then you can back off and stop this nonsense.” She snapped.

  He laughed. “Nothing will stop me, Caitlin. I love you too much.”

  “You don’t know that. You don’t even know me.” She argued. He was frightening her, again.

  “I know that I want you, and I always get what I want, eventually.” He said quietly.

  She looked at him and shuddered at the determination that she saw in his eyes. “Well, Skyler. This is all very flattering, but I think I need to get back to my studies.”

  He nodded. “Okay. No problem.” He agreed. “I don’t want to push you away. I’ll do my very best to give you time and space.”

  “Thank you.” She said tersely.

  Caitlin heaved a sigh of relief when she’d said goodbye and locked her door behind her. She felt certain now that she wanted nothing more to do with this. He was needy and never hesitated to pressure her for what he wanted. Caitlin was not interested in that kind of relationship, no matter how rich, famous or handsome the man.

  She continued to feel uneasy even after Skyler was gone. She just couldn’t shake the feeling.

  She managed to get some studying done, and then she got a call to go to work. It was a fill-in because Vicky had called in sick. She found herself feeling nervous and even jumpy in anticipation of Skyler’s arrival at the motel after his performance that evening.

  He didn’t keep her waiting very long. He smiled as he walked in, and she tried to return it.

  “How was your evening?” he asked tightly.

  “Fine, thanks. And the concert?” she asked brightly.

  “It was all right.” He said flatly. “Though terribly dissatisfying, without you.”

  Caitlin looked at the invoices in her hand, pretending to be a bit busy. “I am sorry, Skyler.” She answered coolly.

  “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked wistfully. But his eyes looked dark and stormy.

  She smiled. “I do have to get some sleep, and I have school all day. If I see you, I won’t get any rest at all. I’m sorry, but it’s just not possible every day.”

  “All right.” He conceded shortly. “Wednesday is my last concert here. Then I’m going on to the next destination. I’d like to see you before I go.”

  Caitlin shrugged. “I’ll have to see what happens. I wasn’t scheduled to work tonight, so I’m already behind the gun.”

  He nodded and looked past her, obviously unhappy. “Perhaps when I come back here, I’ll have a weekend or something. We’ll see if we can’t work ahead and get you some free time.”

  She smiled. She wasn’t even slightly interested in committing to anything. She thought that she saw a glitt
er of anger in his eyes when she didn’t respond.

  “Well, I am probably too tired to be good company. I suppose I ought to catch up on some rest, myself.” He said tersely.

  Caitlin smiled. ”Goodnight, then.” She said, trying to sound natural. She knew that her face was taut and strained.

  He nodded and left. Caitlin sighed in relief. How bizarre everything had suddenly become!

  Her uncle William came out to the desk almost as soon as Skyler had gone. “Hello, Cait. How are you, my dear?”

  “Fine, uncle.”

  He looked at her quizzically. “You seem a bit distraught.”

  She sighed. “Oh, it’s nothing really. There’s just this gentleman staying here at the motel who seems to have taken quite a shine to me. I’m not comfortable with it, at all.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “That can be the very devil. I wondered how long it would take before someone noticed my lovely niece.”

  Caitlin smiled.

  “When does the Romeo leave?”

  ”Wednesday, but he’s not planning to let that deter him any.” She answered dryly.

  Uncle William grinned. “Would you like a few nights off, to duck him?”

  “No. I’m sure it will be fine.” She assured him with more certainty than she felt.

  “I’ll do a few extra runs through the lobby, then.” He reassured gently.

  She looked so relieved by his offer that he was a bit taken back. “Thank you so much, Uncle William.” She said with so much appreciation that he felt alarmed. “That would be splendid. He usually comes in between one and one-thirty.”

  He smiled. “Very well. Don‘t you fret then, we’ll take care of you. Goodnight, my dear.”

  School work was impossible to concentrate on, the following day. Caitlin was stressed, and she couldn’t seem to unwind. At least, Patricia was not in class to talk about Skyler. He had quickly become one of Patricia’s favorite subjects, and Caitlin had not mentioned her friendship with him, in order to avoid the possible complications.

  She rode the transit home and with a heavy sigh, locked herself in her room with the curtains tightly drawn. She simply had to study.

  There was a knock on her door not long after her arrival. She didn’t answer. She held her breath as the knocking came again, more insistently. She sat very still and waited for whoever it was to go away. They tried a third time, and then at last there was silence.

  She had a few moments’ respite, and then her telephone began to ring. She didn’t answer it, either. Yet it continued to ring in spells throughout the afternoon. She was almost certain it had to be Skyler. How was she ever to get anything done?

  Finally, she took her phone off the hook and buried it in a pillow. Then she put in ear plugs and went to bed. Studying was a loss under the circumstances. She was exhausted, and sleep finally came. Still, she awoke in time for work feeling very haggard. The situation with Skyler was weighing very heavily upon her heart.

  He came in after midnight, looking a bit like a thundercloud. “Hello, Cait.” He said a mite shortly. “How are you?”

  “Extremely tired, actually. Someone kept knocking and calling all afternoon while I was trying to study and sleep. It nearly drove me to distraction.” She complained. “It was dreadful!”

  “Really?” he drawled tensely.

  “Yes.” She confirmed. She couldn't help showing a bit of irritation.

  “Well, I’m all in, myself. I’ll just say goodnight.” He said stiffly.

  “Goodnight, Skyler.” She answered softly. She couldn’t help feeling like just a little bit of a heel as he walked away, but then he wasn’t leaving her all too many choices. He’d been so terribly invasive and determined.

  Caitlin was so worn out that she simply could not go to class the following morning. She slept instead, all day long. She woke up in time to do some studying, and made herself a quick sandwich.

  She felt ever so much better, and went to work with a will on her term paper for several hours.

  That evening when Skyler came in after the concert, he seemed to be on a more even keel, as well. He stayed and talked with her for an hour or so, but he seemed more respectful and more distant than he had been, and so Caitlin didn’t mind so much.

  Uncle William showed his face at about one. After being introduced, Skyler took his leave immediately. Caitlin gave her uncle a grateful look, and they shared a secretive smile.

  The next day when Cait arrived home from school, Skyler was waiting for her at her door. “Hello, Caitlin.” He said seriously. “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been waiting to say goodbye to you.”

  “Oh! Today is Wednesday, isn’t it?” she sighed. “I had even forgotten what day it is. Well, I’m sure that I’ll see you again some time.”

  “I do hope to come back this way soon. I hope that my absence will make your heart grow fonder. I still mean everything that I said, Caitlin. I need you.”

  “Well. Thank you, Skyler. I enjoyed your concerts very much.”

  “May I just kiss you goodbye? It will have to last me a long time, I’m afraid. I’ll keep it to a dull roar, all right?” he asked. He was already pulling her into his arms. She discovered that his kiss still stirred her. He was, after all, a very handsome man. Yet, she was uncomfortable.

  “I love you, Caitlin. Please, don’t forget me.”

  “Oh, that could not happen.” She assured him, chuckling uncomfortably.

  “Well, then. Goodbye for now, Caitlin.” He said quietly.

  “Goodbye, Skyler. I do hope that you enjoy your tour.” She encouraged.

  He nodded, smiled sadly, and turned away.

  She forced herself not to say any more.

  Life settled down very nicely for Caitlin after Skyler’s departure. Except that she was a bit changed. While more wary of men and their ways than ever, she still had somehow opened up where they were concerned.

  Skyler had forced his way into her life and whetted her appetite for male companionship. Or something. She couldn’t figure it out at all, yet her feelings made themselves insistently felt.

  Skyler had left his mark upon her, and she found herself very hungry for more of a man’s touch and attentions. Not necessarily Skyler’s touch; but a male’s touch just the same. He had apparently awakened within her the needs that she’d always tried hard to avoid. She was a bit lonely, she realized. A bit wanting of a man for herself. She cursed him for awakening it so strongly. It truly did not fit in with her current plans nor with her comfort level.

  He called two nights after his departure, on Friday. She knew his voice immediately.

  “Cait!” he said gratefully when she answered.

  “Skyler”. She responded tensely.

  “How are you, darling?” he asked worriedly.

  “I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

  “Making it, I suppose. But I miss you terribly.”

  “Don’t say that. You hardly know me.” She objected uncomfortably.

  “I know you well enough, darling. I long to have you with me, all the time. Cait, will you take a plane? You’ll come, won’t you? I’ll arrange for your ticket. You can be here tomorrow, and we’ll get married in Rome. What do you say?”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. “You know better. I’m going to finish college, Skyler. I only have this one, final bit to go. If you truly care about me, then surely my own needs should be important to you, as well. Can’t you at least respect my goals in life?”

  He sighed. “Ah, college. Well; I suppose there’s something to be said for it,” he grumbled.

  “Indeed.” She agreed evenly.

  They talked on for some time. At least, Skyler talked. Caitlin mostly listened. She knew that he’d just call again, so she let him go on. An hour later, he was still trying to fill her head with romantic pictures and put stars in her eyes. But at last, he concluded that he had to get some sleep. Caitlin gratefully said goodnight.

  He called again the following night, and every night t
hat he could. He knew she was working, and was a captive audience, and as he hoped, she began to relax her guard a great deal as they talked.

  He was far away now, and as she got to know him better, she began to forget her discomfort with his familiarity. He kept his chatter friendly and light, and didn’t press her for anything.

  At first, she was of course suspicious of him, and wanted to know why he kept calling. He told her it was only because he was lonely, and they were at the very least, friends. He said he really cared for her. She began to believe it – a little bit.

  He didn’t say he loved her, and he didn’t get too romantic. He spoke of things he’d like to get for her, and sent her flowers a few times. But he remained respectful and very kind.

  It made one think, she had to admit. He was persistent, yet not in an unpleasant way; he was just being friendly these days. Truly friendly, as though he really cared. He was trying very hard to win her trust, and build a relationship.

  Caitlin felt it, and considered.

  Nearly nine months to the day after he’d gone, she received a note from Skyler.

  “Coming to town tomorrow. Will you come to the show? Same auditorium, I’ll leave word at the door. Front row for you, girl, and then come backstage. I’ll arrange it all. Please do come. I can’t wait to see you, and I promise I’ll behave. Please don’t disappoint me, Caitlin. Love, Skyler.”

  She grinned wryly. She knew she shouldn’t go, and yet she was certainly going to. She was awakened and hungry for a man, and she wanted to see Skyler again. She couldn’t decide without being near him for a bit if it was him that she missed, or not. She didn’t know if her attitude toward him would be softened, given her changes in his absence.

  Somehow, the memories of the discomfort that he’d made her feel had become dim, and the memory of his passion had been a bit enhanced. Perhaps, she fancied, he had just frightened her; he’d come on too strong. Perhaps after all, it would be all right. She would go, and see. She owed them both that chance.

  She wore an outfit of shimmering white, with wide sleeves and a long tunic length, over a matching skirt. And high, sexy heels Her legs looked very nice indeed.