'Well,' he laughed, 'I can't complain I'm not getting answers! Few young women of your age admit to uncertainties and doubts. Let me see, Jake didn't say, but you must be about… twenty-one?'
'Almost,' she laughed, 'but I find it's easy to be sure when you're talking about life. It's much harder when you're living it.'
'I would agree with you. But look at young Anita now. She and her family have the stud farm adjoining our land, and she's been popping in and out of this house since they moved here when she was about twelve years old… hoping always to find Jake. She's younger than you, but she would never admit to uncertainties about anything. She's always been sure of what she wanted, and it's always been Jake.' He leaned forward. 'You mustn't mind an old man talking. At one time, quite recently in fact, I had the hope he would at last make up his mind to marry her. It would have been wonderful for me. She's like a daughter, and she lives next door. But he was worried because she was so young, and he felt she needed time to grow up, meet other men before she settled down. And then of course he fell in love with you, and suddenly his life is settled. He's made his choice and I'm delighted. I might even live to see some grandchildren after all.'
Davina felt her throat constrict. She should have expected something like this. There was bound to be someone important in Jake's life. Things never worked out to be simple, and she wished herself out of this tangle of lies and heady emotions. She leaned back wearily, all her pleasure in the day gone, as Mr Humphries talked.
'That's really my only wish now, to see a grandson… or daughter, of course,' he chuckled. 'I'm very dependent on Jake, you see, because he's my only child. He was so wild, you know. For years I was worried sick about him. That was before my illness, after his mother died. You know, he was only eleven. And he adored her. He just couldn't accept that she was dead, gone. He used to roam the countryside all hours of the day and night, couldn't sleep. That was when his insomnia started. He truanted from school, ran away from boarding school when I tried that. Then he wouldn't study, take exams. He didn't want to go to university… oh, it was terrible. And he had no friends, didn't want any, he said, didn't need anyone. And he always had this bleak haunted look about' him. Sometimes it comes back—as you saw this morning when you arrived. I don't know what brings it on or what he's thinking when it happens.' He sighed and his voice faded for a moment.
'And then he found this advertising thing, and that worked for him. Since then he hasn't looked back. He loves his work, as you know. And his boat, of course. That has first place after his work. Everything else has to take second place to that, even women, I sometimes think. But there, that's all over now he has you.'
He sat up suddenly and focused on her, leaning forward to pat her knee. 'Good gracious, I'm sorry! I'm supposed to be pumping you, and here I am talking about myself. Now how about another drink?'
'Excuse me, sir.' An elderly woman stood in the doorway, tall, slim and slightly angular, comfortably dressed in skirt and blouse with fiat peep-toe sandals.
'Hello, Bella,' Mr Humphries turned to her, 'come in and meet the fiancée.' He turned back to Davina. 'She only calls me sir when there are visitors,' he said drily. 'This is Davina Richards, Bella, and she's going to marry Jake.'
Mrs Bateman came into the room and stood looking down at Davina.
'I'm pleased to meet you,' she said formally, and Davina felt she was taking stock, making a mental note of everything and filing it away somewhere in her memory.
She smiled. 'How do you do, Mrs Bateman.' She spoke evenly, making no pretence of knowledge or feelings she didn't have, and thought she saw a brief look of approval flit across the older woman's face for a moment.
'Mm,' she said, and turned to go. 'I came to ask if young Anita is staying to lunch. I forgot to ask her.'
'I think she has to get back, Bella, and I would guess not.'
'Right,' and she went out again.
Davina got up, feeling rather restless. She wished she could go and explore the garden, and she walked over to the patio doors to look out.
Voices could be heard from the hall and Jake and Anita were back, arms round each other, high colour in their cheeks, laughing.
'Hello, you two.' Jake strode over to the drinks. 'You look solemn. Have you been exchanging secrets? Anita, your usual?'
He looked magnificent in jodhpurs and polished brown riding boots, an open-necked shirt showing the strong line of his tanned throat and the beginnings of dark hair curling towards his neck. '
'Yes, darling, thank you.' Anita took her drink and settled at his feet as he sat down.
'Wow,' Jake breathed, 'I'm certainly out of condition!' His voice was rueful. 'I must get back to my work-outs in London. I've been skipping it lately.' He raised his glass at Davina. 'Other things on my mind,' he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.
She raised her chin at him and he laughed.
'Well, how have you two been getting on?' he asked.
'Too well to be any of your business, young man,' his father replied promptly, 'but don't you think it's time for lunch? Mrs B. can't keep it for ever.'
'Oh, heavens,' Anita exclaimed, 'I must fly. Daddy will skin me alive!' She got up and stretched, showing off her figure to advantage in the cream silk blouse and light brown riding outfit. She looked longingly up at Jake. 'Are we going sailing after lunch, lover? Please?' she begged him. 'Please!'
'Sorry, love, not today. I've an appointment in London tonight, and Davina and I will be leaving soon after lunch. Another time.' His tone brooked no opposition. He got up. 'And now I really must dash upstairs and change, otherwise I'll be in everybody's black books. You two must be starving.'
As he went out Mr Humphries said to Anita, 'Why don't you come over for some coffee after lunch, Nita, if you can?'
'Oh, can I?' She was ecstatic again and rushed over to the wheelchair, flinging her arms round the older man and kissing him firmly on the cheek. 'Super,' she said. 'See you later,' and she ran out into the garden.
Lunch was served by Mrs Bateman in the dining room and was a quiet affair. Father and son chatted casually about the garden, neighbours, a horse that was not well, and Davina was happy to have no demands made on her, content to sit and watch them. The meal was delicious and she enjoyed it—cold salmon served with a fresh herb mayonnaise and home-baked bread with salad. She and Jake drank chilled white wine and Mr Humphries had mineral water. Of the fruit Davina chose melon to follow and ended up with black coffee.
Both men lit cigars and Davina leaned back, at ease and content for the first time for days, only half listening to the men, letting her mind drift. Mrs Bateman came to clear away and Davina rose to help her stack the crockery in the roomy dishwasher in the kitchen.
Jake popped his head round the door and, seeing a pile of newly baked biscuits on the table, came in and sat down, watching them work and helping himself.
'That was a lovely meal, as usual, Bella,' he said casually.
'You're a great one for flattery, Jake, always were,' she said drily, but Davina noted her flushed look of pleasure at his words.
'Darling,' Jake was getting up, 'I'll have to do about half an hour's work and go through that crisps contract before we get back. Sorry to leave you again. Can you amuse yourself for that time, because Dad will be going for his rest.'
'Now don't you worry about Davina,' Mrs Bateman said. 'I'll get her fixed up on the terrace in a lounger and I daresay she'll enjoy a doze. Weddings are always exhausting. Go on, off you go.'
'I don't know how it is,' Jake said in mock alarm, 'but whenever I come home, everyone is forever saying "off you go" to me every few minutes. I wonder why?'
'There's an answer to that,' said Bella.
'O.K.' Jake laughed. 'See you later, darling!' And he went.
The sun was hot and Davina put on her dark glasses. She had taken off her jacket and was enjoying the lazy quiet. Her eyes were closed and she was almost asleep when Anita's voice woke her.
'Where's Jake?' she d
emanded.
'Oh… er… I'm not sure.' Davina sat up. 'I think he said he had some papers to check.'
'How stuffy! That means he'll have locked himself into his study. He always does that when he wants to work undisturbed.'
Davina leaned back, hoping the girl would go and leave her alone.
'I'll go and see if I can dig him out,' Anita said petulantly, and soon after Davina could hear her in the hall.
'Jake… Jake, can I come in?' There was a pause. 'I know you're in there, Jake… Please, Jake! I'll be ever so good and quiet. I won't talk or make a sound, I promise. Jake… oh,' her voice shrilled petulantly, 'I hate you! Go to hell!' And she came flouncing back to Davina. 'I'm sure he's in there. He just won't answer.'
'Why don't you wait till he comes out?' Davina asked reasonably.
'Why don't you shut up and keep out of it?' Anita said rudely. 'And stop looking so smug,' she went on childishly, 'just because you've got his ring on your finger. You think he's going to marry you, don't you? Well, he won't. He's going to marry me. That was decided years ago, and nothing has changed.'
She stopped, but not for long.
'Oh, yes, he fancies you, I can see that. But that doesn't last. It never does with Jake. And that's not what he wants from a wife.' She continued confidently, 'You see, however many women he picks up in London, he always comes back to me, because he knows no other man has ever touched me, and in the end he doesn't like women like you who've been messed about by other men.'
There was a shocked silence as she finished, and even Anita realised she had gone too Car. Davina stood up slowly and faced the girl. She took off her glasses and the cold fury in her eyes was quite frightening.
'I don't know what's eating you up and I don't care. Your nasty little mind shows that under that little girl act you're probably rather cold. You're certainly insensitive, selfish, noisy and rude. If you think those qualities give you any right to preach to me about love, you're mistaken. Love is about sharing and about caring for the loved person. It's about laughter and silences and warmth and passion. It's not greedy, heedless or selfish.' She breathed in deeply, suddenly strangely confident, and continued with icy calm, 'What I want from the man I love and what I would have to give him is far removed from your childish greed, so don't try to patronise me.'
She looked away from the girl's face, suddenly drawn, straight into Jake's eyes. He was standing quite still in the doorway looking at her, his eyes inscrutable. Her heart leapt into her throat, surprise and shock keeping her still as they gazed at each other in the stillness of the room. And suddenly all uncertainty and confusion dropped away from her. Like a shutter that had obscured her vision and now clicked back into place, she recognised the truth. She loved him.
This strange joy that caught her by the throat at his nearness, this was love. The trembling and the yearning was no infatuation as she had thought. And all the questions were now answered, all the turmoil and depression of the last days explained. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his, heedless of what he might see in her face.
And then Anita moved. With a sob she ran past Jake out into the hall, and Davina shuddered. For a moment she had forgotten everything, the sham engagement, the reason why she was in this house, Jake's love for the young girl who had run away. She turned from him and walked blindly out on to the terrace, into the garden, away from those penetrating eyes that had the power to look into her heart.
She crouched on a stone seat looking out to sea. The sun had disappeared and the wind was blowing up the cliffs, chilling her bare arms. She marvelled that she could have been so blind. Even Philip had guessed. Her sister had seen it and her mother had known.
And she felt only despair. Anita had been right—Jake did not love her. He possibly fancied her, but nothing else. It was Anita he loved and whom he would one day marry, however many women he might desire in passing.
So could she now face an affair with him? Was her love enough to make a success of that? Would it be better than nothing? And what about her job? Could she go on working with him, knowing how she felt, and be in her guard with him day in and day out?
She didn't know the answer to that; she couldn't think.
And she had to get away from Jake, to sort herself out, to find out what was best for her to do. She couldn't face the long drive back to London with him; she would give herself away. He would guess how she felt if he didn't know it already. She would have to find some other way to travel home.
She sensed he was watching her before she turned to see him standing behind her, the wind ruffling his hair.
'We have to go,' he said tonelessly, 'it's getting late.'
'Of course.' Davina rose, feeling stiff and cramped. 'I'll just say my goodbyes.'
'My father is asleep and Mrs Bateman has gone to rest. I've said your goodbyes.'
She walked past him through the house and out to the car. There was no sign of Anita, and she wondered if Jake had spent the last half hour with her, consoling her for what had happened.
He unlocked the car and they got in. 'Oh,' she exclaimed, 'my jacket!'
'It's in the back,' he said indifferently, and switched on the ignition. As they came out of the drive, she turned to him.
'Jake, would you mind taking me to Mevagissey station? I'd like to go back by train.'
He took no notice and drove on. 'Jake,' she tried again, 'did you hear me?'
'Yes, I heard you.' He was angry. 'I just want to get out of sight of the house before we have our next argument.'
She flinched at his words.
'If there's a train at this time on a Sunday and you don't have to wait for hours for it, you realise you won't get home till the early hours. I shall be back long before you.'
'I'm sorry. I don't want to be a nuisance or to make you angry again, but I think perhaps I've had enough of cars. I might not react very well to another long trip.'
'Don't trouble to tell me lies, Davina,' he said coldly. 'I can tell a mile off when you veer away from the truth. I'm not interested in your reasons for not wanting to travel back with me—I can guess. As you no doubt were going to add, our usefulness to each other is over for the moment.' He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 'I just think it's silly, that's all. We don't have to talk. You can do some more sleeping. I should be able to do it in six hours.'
He looked ahead and turned off the engine. He was slightly slumped in his seat, his face turned away from her, his attitude one of intense weariness.
'Very well,' he said at last, 'if that's what you want, let's try it,' and he drove off. He stopped in the station yard. 'You wait here. I'll see if there's a train.'
Left alone, Davina was regretting her request. She could have had a few more hours with Jake. Instead she had angered him and would have to go home alone. She was stupidly disappointed he had not insisted on her driving home with him. He didn't seem to mind at all. Oh, dear, she thought. If this was love, she wished it had not happened to her.
Jake pulled open the door on her side. 'There's a train in a couple of minutes,' he said. 'If you hurry you can get it. We'll have to run across the track—come on!'
He took her case in one hand and her arm in the other, running with her up the other end of the platform where a gate stood open across the track. It began to close as they went through it.
Arrived on the other platform, they stopped out of breath.
'Here,' said Jake, 'your ticket.'
'Oh, thank you,' she said breathlessly, and looked up at him.
'Davina,' he began, 'will you…' But the whistle of the train stopped him. 'There's the train,' he said harshly above the noise, and they waited till it stopped. He opened a first class compartment and Davina was glad to see it was empty. She turned to take her case.
'Get in,' he commanded, and climbed in after her, putting her case on the rack. As he turned they bumped into each other and for a moment their bodies touched. Jake put out a hand to steady her, and she felt his grip tighten convulsivel
y on her arms. He pressed her tightly to him and she lifted her face.
The warning shout from the guard sounded loud and near, and Jake let her go and jumped swiftly out on to the platform as the guard slammed the door between them.
'Get home safely,' he said gruffly through the open window. Then he turned away, walked rapidly towards the exit and out of sight.
A moment later the train started.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Davina got into the office early the next morning and it seemed like any other Monday. She washed up Friday's cups, forgotten by Heather, and put fresh coffee into the machine. Then she sorted the post which had been left unopened on Friday, automatically putting on one side those to be dealt with by Jake personally. These she stacked with the relevant files and took into his office to leave on his desk.
It had been a long night. The train journey had seemed endless, with long stops at almost every station. She had watched the darkening countryside, her mind blank, too tired to think and too dispirited to feel. She had grown cold with only her suit jacket to huddle into; her short fur coat was in the boot of the Rolls. At first she had tried to figure out what she was going to do, but in the end she had dozed fitfully, jolting awake every time the train stopped and the lights flickered, until she had reached Paddington in the early hours. She had been lucky to find a taxi to take her out to Hampstead, and had let herself into the sleeping house, relieved to be home at last.
Dumping her suitcase, she had flung off her clothes, got into a dressing gown and turned on the heating. For a time she had sat with a hot drink and an untouched sandwich, but an hour later, still stupefied, she had crawled into bed, falling asleep within minutes. Restlessly she had tossed and turned, to wake up finally at four o'clock. She had got up, turned on the lights and made herself some coffee.
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