“Just feel me,” Jameson told Candace before claiming her lips in a soulful kiss that quickly moved from passionate to desperate.
Candace held Jameson’s face as Jameson’s hand softly found its way to Candace’s greatest need. Candace’s tears were beginning to fall steadily. The tenderness of Jameson’s touch embedded itself within her. It was almost as if she could hear Jameson speaking to her. Repeating the words, “I love you. I’m here. I have you. I will never let you go.” Candace could never have hoped to explain her need for release. She had buried her sadness, her anger, her confusion, and her fear so deeply she was not certain how she would release it. One look at Jameson earlier that day, and Candace had her answer in an instant. She needed to be sheltered in the only place that would allow her to strip away her defenses without fear. Jameson was that place. Jameson was that person. Candace closed her eyes tightly. Jameson pressed her cheek against Candace’s and held her close.
“Let go,” Jameson whispered. “I’m here.”
Jameson’s words accompanied by the gentle insistence of her touch sent Candace spinning wildly over a steep ledge until she crashed. No words escaped her. A flood of tears washed away the dam that had held Candace’s emotions at bay. She gripped Jameson forcefully as the waves crashed over the dam, splintering it into a million pieces. Candace submitted willingly and allowed the remnants to float away, trusting that the safety of the shore awaited her. Just as her silent tears erupted into a violent wail of anguish, Candace felt Jameson’s arms completely surround her. Candace’s body trembled in Jameson’s embrace. Love had many ironies. Pleasure had given permission for Candace’s pain to find its voice.
Jameson stroked Candace’s hair and kissed her head, rocking her just as she had witnessed Candace rock Spencer many times after a nightmare. “I have you. I’ll never let you go,” Jameson promised.
Candace kissed Jameson’s lips softly. Were it not for Jameson’s presence, Candace was certain she would have drowned in her tears. Jameson was the bridge, the bridge that would provide a pathway from grief to healing. Tomorrow would come, and the next day. They had been forever altered, but they would come.
“I love you, Candace. Whatever you need, I am here.”
For the first time in what seemed like endless hours, Candace smiled in earnest. “I know,” she said.
Jameson brushed Candace’s hair from her face, and wiped away the remnants of Candace’s tears with her thumb. “We’ll get through it.”
Candace kissed Jameson again. “I don’t ever want to lose you,” she confessed.
“Candace,” Jameson sighed. She knew better than to make that promise. Life and death shared one major thing in common—they were unpredictable.
“I know,” Candace choked on the words.
“I don’t want to lose you either,” Jameson confessed. It was the truth. She had thought about that repeatedly over the last few days. “I don’t know if I could…”
Candace silenced Jameson’s words with a kiss. “I will never stop loving you, Jameson. Nothing could change that, not even death,” Candace said. She let her head fall onto Jameson’s chest, and allowed the loving caress of Jameson’s hands to soothe her.
“Sleep,” Jameson said. “Tomorrow is another day.”
“Yes, it is,” Candace said. “I love you, Jameson.”
“I love you too, more than anything.”
***
“What was that?” Laura asked. Jonah sat up in bed, the deep pit of his stomach turning in twisted knots. Jonah felt his body tremble slightly. He rose from the bed and walked to the small bassinette that sat at its foot. “Jonah?”
Jonah picked up little Jameson and kissed the baby’s forehead. He looked at Laura and made his way back to the bed. A faint sound could be heard across the hallway. Laura looked toward the door again. “Do J.D. and your mom have Maddie in there?”
Jonah shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he answered. He kissed Laura on the cheek and took a deep breath. “It’s Mom.”
“What?”
Jonah sighed. He could only recall one time when he had heard his mother crying. It took him years before he could put the pieces together to understand that the cause had been Jessica’s infidelity. Candace was careful not to fall apart in front of her children. She was hardly stoic. In fact, she had always been extremely demonstrative with all three of her children. Jonah had seen his mother teary-eyed on many occasions, just as he could easily recall her spirited laughter. But, falling apart, breaking down, that was something Jonah had never witnessed his mother do. He’d heard it once at a distance and he had never forgotten the sound.
“Rick was…God, that sounds crazy, doesn’t it?” he asked rhetorically.
“What?”
“Rick was. That’s crazy. This whole thing is crazy.”
“I’m sorry,” Laura said as she laid a hand on Jonah’s arm.
“I know. I am too,” he replied. He looked at his girlfriend. “Rick sort of adopted Mom. I mean, he lost his mom when he was a kid,” he explained.
“I know,” Laura said.
“Yeah, well…His family never really recovered. They sort of, I don’t know—splintered, I guess is the word.”
“I think I understand,” Laura said softly.
Jonah sighed. Laura had been through more than her fair share of loss recently. It might not have been the same, it was every bit as painful. “I’m sorry about your family,” Jonah said sincerely.
Laura looked down at her sleeping son in Jonah’s arms. “This is my family,” she said.
“Yeah, but…”
“No. No buts,” Laura told him. “I get it, Jonah. Rick, I mean. I understand how you feel. At least, I think I do. To your mom he was a son, not some guy who married her daughter.”
Jonah nodded. “I’ve always wondered how she would handle it if something ever happened to Pearl. That would…I don’t even know, but this? I mean, I don’t know. Losing a parent, that’s the pits, but you sort of expect it to happen one day, you know?” he said. Laura smiled in understanding. “But, your kid? How do you even deal with that? I just….”
Laura leaned in and kissed Jonah’s cheek. “Your mom will be okay.”
“I don’t know,” Jonah said. “I’ve only heard her cry like that once.”
Laura smiled. “She will be. She has J.D., and besides she’s the strongest person I know.”
“Yeah.” Jonah could not argue with Laura’s observation. “I hope you are right.”
Laura heard the lingering doubt in Jonah’s voice. “You’re really worried about her.”
Jonah shrugged. “I guess, I am. She’s got so much on her plate,” Jonah said. “Did you see Marianne?” he asked. Laura nodded. “Marianne is never quiet. I mean, never. She looked like a zombie.”
“Jonah,” Laura started gently. “She just lost her husband.”
“I know, but….You saw her with Spencer. She barely spoke to him,” Jonah said.
“It takes time,” Laura said.
“Yeah, but in the meantime, Mom has to pick up all those pieces. Plus, she has to get back out there, Laura. I heard Shell and Dana last night. Mom has to get back in front of the cameras. The election is here. It’s the push and…”
“Jonah,” Laura stopped his diatribe. “Your mom is not alone and neither is Marianne. We’ll all be there, me included.” Jonah leaned over and kissed Laura sweetly. “What was that for?”
“Just a thank you. I know this isn’t all easy for you…”
“Stop,” Laura said. “Your family has been wonderful to me.”
“They’re your family too,” Jonah reminded her. Laura shook her head a bit sadly. “They are,” he assured her.
“I hope so,” she whispered.
Jonah pulled Laura closer to him and leaned against the headboard. He looked down at the infant in his arms and mused silently. How are we going to convince her, J.? Got any ideas? Little Jameson took that moment as an opportunity to open his eyes and yawn. Jona
h chuckled. I’ll think about it.
Chapter Four
“Candace, it will be fine.”
“Jameson….”
“Candace.”
Candace set down the knife in her hand heavily on the kitchen counter and turned back to Jameson. “It can wait.”
“No. It can’t,” Jameson argued. “You heard Dana as clearly as I did.”
“Since when did you become an adviser to my campaign?” Candace asked pointedly.
Jameson remained calm. Candace had been uncharacteristically short with Jameson the last couple of days. So much so, that Michelle and Jonah had laid bets on just how long Jameson would remain willing to be their mother’s punching bag. It wasn’t that Candace had been overtly rude or demeaning. Her actions were subtle. For those who knew them best, Candace’s interactions with Jameson were evidence of underlying stress that Candace rarely wore visibly. For Jameson’s part, she understood her role. Candace trusted Jameson implicitly. Jameson was the one person Candace could let down her walls with completely. Right now, that meant that Jameson needed to sport broad shoulders.
Jameson had heard the kids talking the night before after Candace had scolded her for leaving Spencer’s small ride-on toy in the hallway. She doubted that Candace even realized how abrupt she was being. Behind closed doors, after everyone retired, Candace would cry in Jameson’s arms. A wake, a service, a burial, Dana nipping at her heels about making a campaign appearance, the house filled with family who were all grieving, Marianne’s obvious depression, not to mention the calls for still Senator Reid—it would emotionally overwhelm a statue. And, Candace was anything but made of stone.
Jameson regarded her wife from her chair for a moment and answered calmly. “I’m not advising you. You can’t hibernate here forever. You need this as much as the campaign needs you.”
“I need to be here.”
“Candace, you can’t be here every minute. You just can’t. What are you going to do? Quit the campaign and let that idiot Murrow win? What? Quit the senate too?” Jameson called Candace on the mat and prepared for a battle that was due.
“If it comes to that—yes.”
Jameson shook her head. “And, what? You think that is what Marianne wants?”
“Marianne doesn’t know what she wants right now! It isn’t about what anyone wants, Jameson. None of us wanted this. It is what it is. I’ll do what I need to do,” Candace retorted.
“Then pick up your phone and call Dana and get your ass back to work,” Jameson challenged her wife. Candace’s jaw fell open. “What?” Jameson asked pointedly. “Tell me that’s not what you need? Tell me that you honestly think Marianne, or even Spencer and Maddie for that matter will want to look back and think you quit because of them.”
“It’s not about quitting.”
“What is it about then?” Jameson asked.
“Jameson,” Candace’s voice fell. “She can’t handle it right now—the kids, I mean.”
Jameson sucked in a deep breath and released it. “Yes, I know.”
Candace looked at Jameson in confusion. “They need…”
Jameson nodded. “I spoke to Jonah and Melanie this morning.”
“About?” Candace wondered.
“About what needs to happen in my absence at the firm and what things they should involve me in,” Jameson explained.
“What are you talking about?”
“My leave of absence.”
“Jameson, you own the firm,” Candace reminded her wife.
“Yes, I do, which means I decide what is best—for me and for the firm.”
Candace was stunned. “Jameson,” she practically whispered. “This is not something you ever wanted.”
“What’s that?” Jameson asked.
“Children.”
Jameson smiled at Candace and made her way across the kitchen. “No.”
“I can’t…”
Jameson shook her head. “No, I never planned on having kids. I seem to recall telling you a long time ago that if you wanted more, I would give it everything I had,” Jameson said. Candace sighed through a soft groan. “Listen to me. This is not forever, at least I hope it isn’t.” Jameson saw Candace begin to speak and stopped her. “Things happen that we don’t plan on. We do our best to deal with them,” Jameson said.
“This is not what you signed up for.”
“Sure it is,” Jameson disagreed. Candace sighed again. “Candace, you are my wife. This is our family. This is exactly what I signed up for.”
Candace let her head fall onto Jameson’s shoulder. “Are you sure about this? What about….”
Jameson kissed Candace on the head and chuckled. “I haven’t broken them yet,” she joked. “Have a little faith in me.”
“I have complete faith in you,” Candace said assuredly.
“Then let me help.”
“Jameson….This…The campaign, if I get elected there…”
“You will get elected,” Jameson said.
“Pretty confident, aren’t you?” Candace quipped.
Jameson shrugged. “I know a good thing when I see it.”
“So do I,” Candace said as she placed a kiss on Jameson’s lips.
***
“This place is packed,” Melanie whispered to Michelle.
“Yep. People love her,” Michelle replied proudly.
It was true. Candace Reid enjoyed an enormous following of ardent supporters. Dana had done her best to prepare the family for the expected event turn out. Candace had not made an appearance in public in over a week. To most people, that would sound like a short period of time. At the end of the campaign trail, a candidate typically made numerous appearances each day. It was part of the process that had always energized Candace. Senator Reid loved pressing the flesh. Politics were about people and people were Candace’s greatest passion. It made political life a natural choice for her. Candace understood that her choice affected everyone around her. Emotions remained raw in the Fletcher-Reid family. Loss had left its mark on everyone. Immersing herself back in the limelight might be a tonic for Candace’s pain, she worried that it might have different consequences for some of her family. Because politics was about people, it emulated life. In other words, politics was unpredictable.
Candace stood at the center of the stage in the university auditorium waiting for the applause from her speech to subside. As the crowd’s excitement began to settle, Candace began to speak.
“I want to thank you all for coming out here on this blustery day and listening to an old blustery senator’s thoughts,” she told the audience. Laughter erupted. “I also want to thank you, so many of you, for your kind messages, sentiments, and prayers over the last weeks,” Candace said with sincerity. The crowd quieted further. Candace held her hand out to Jameson.
Jameson guided Spencer to Michelle. “Stay with Aunt Shell, buddy, okay?” she instructed him. He nodded and took Michelle’s hand. Jameson winked at him and made her way toward Candace.
Candace looked at Jameson lovingly and then turned back to the crowd before her. “Jameson and I, and our children…We…”
“Your children?!” a voice bellowed from somewhere in front of them. Curious heads turned every which way. Candace held her breath and gripped Jameson’s hand tightly.
“Uh-oh,” Michelle mumbled.
“Your children?” the voice boomed again.
Candace scanned the crowd for an accompanying face. A young man stepped through the crowd. Candace momentarily mused that it seemed like Moses parting the sea.
“There can be no children shared in a blasphemous marriage!” the young man called out as he came into view. Several people lifted signs in support of his message simultaneously.
“Mark,” Laura muttered in dismay. Jonah immediately recognized the young man. “What is he doing here?” Laura asked in bewilderment.
It took Candace a moment, but recollection came to her as well. Candace felt ill when her eyes met those of Mark Klein’s. She won
dered how Laura’s brother had managed to infiltrate the event unnoticed. Moreover, Candace could not fathom why he would create such a painful situation for his younger sister.
“Punishment comes. You and your sinful ways corrupt goodness, you have broken apart a family, and this—this is what you reap. You take a daughter from her father and you now reap what you have sown—fatherless children!” the man pointed at Candace. “Evil begets evil!”
Laura shuddered. Jonah was ready to move forward and confront Laura’s older brother when he saw Spencer fly across the stage toward Candace and Jameson.
“Spence!” Michelle tried to catch her nephew. Spencer was gone in a flash, headed straight for his nana and his Jay Jay.
“Nana!” Spencer called as he ran toward her.
Jameson and Candace instantly spun on their heels. Candace smiled down at a frightened face in reassurance. “It’s all right, Spencer,” she told him.
Jameson had to suppress a chuckle in spite of the situation when she saw the angry expression on her grandson’s face. He was definitely his nana’s boy. Before Jameson could intervene, Spencer had stepped beside Candace. He looked bravely out at the sea of strangers and made his proclamation loudly. “Leave my Nana alone!” he told them indignantly. He looked at Candace. “Jay Jay will protect us, Nana.”
Candace nodded and squatted down to his height, just as security took hold of Laura’s brother’s arm. “Yes, Spencer, she will,” she agreed. She lifted Spencer onto her hip.
“You will continue to pay the price,” Mark called out. “Until you repent!”
Jameson had reached her limit and stepped forward on the stage as if she were ready to hop off of it. Candace gently laid her free hand on Jameson’s and stopped her. She motioned to the state police officer now attempting to subdue her accuser to stop so that she could address him. She turned to Jameson, smiled and carefully shifted Spencer from her hip to her wife.
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