by Ava Danielle
I can’t believe my eyes. I heard her voice and knew it was her, there was no doubt. But now that I see her, I have to blink to make sure I’m not dreaming. She’s gorgeous. Just like she was a few weeks ago and like she’ll always be.
She’s up on stage, not just singing karaoke, but a guitar in her hand. I didn’t even know she played the guitar. I guess I don’t know her as well as I thought I did or want to. She has blown me away in every aspect, and that’s even before I’ve made it through the doors.
She’s singing haunting lyrics;
Change your mind
Keep on going til you're gone
Even when you when you think it's wrong
When you look back in regret
The moment that you left
Change your mind
Baby don't come back this time
Don't wanna have to say goodbye
All over again
So if you think there's still a chance to make it right
And I'm the only one you want tonight
Change your mind
and dressed in sexy shorts, a brown tank top, long cardigan and the heels I bought her. Shockingly sexy. Oh what am I saying, she’s always sexy. I could stare at her all night. In fact, I could see her standing there in nothing but the heels. Control yourself Michael.
“Come on, let’s sit down,” Addison says. “I’m gonna order us all a beer,” Brandon interrupts as he makes his way to the bar. “I’ll help you,” Ryan says.
But me? I’m star struck. Star struck on the girl whose lips I’ve kissed. A girl I’ve fucked so hard she nearly couldn’t remember her name.
I continue to listen to her. My friends are just as mesmerized by her as I am. We are sitting in the corner booth. She hasn’t noticed me. But I also notice she’s not wearing her sweet smile. She looks drained. A look I don’t like seeing on her. I miss her so fucking much.
After she finishes, I watch her exit the stage. She’s sitting at a table with, I assume her best friend. Her friend hugs her. And I feel like a stalker. I don’t care who makes their way on stage next. I don’t care about the fact Ryan and Kristina are fighting over getting on stage. I don’t care about the fact I finished a bottle of beer in one long guzzle. In fact, all I care about is Theresa. All I care about is getting her back.
“Michael! Michael!” I hear a voice scream. I’m not sure who it is though. “What?” I yell back, never looking away from Theresa.
“You gonna talk to her?” Ryan asks me. “Fuck if I know,” I respond.
“Did you bring the letter and tickets?”
“What letter and tickets?” Addison asks. Kristina takes another swig of her beer, “You all confuse me.” Ryan tries to give her the cliff notes version while I continue to stare at Theresa.
“So why are you still sitting here?” Kristina asks me, but instead epiphany struck.
“I have an idea.” I say.
The bar is jammed tonight, so many people here. But while I was up on stage singing, I didn’t care. I let my feelings pour out as if I was sitting on my couch playing my guitar. My friend Sarah is with me, I had to get out of her apartment for a while, I’ve been cooped up eating ice cream. Way too much ice cream. And I haven’t been around many people.
“Damn girl, you killed it up there,” Sarah says. I just give her a small smile.
Sarah knows everything that happened. She doesn’t agree entirely on my decision about leaving Michael, but she supports me, even though she tried to convince me so many times to go see him; at least to talk it out. And as much as I understand what she means, I just can’t. Because once I see him, I might regret my decision. I might fall right back into his arms, and I can’t let that happen. It’s not fair.
“Terri, I’m going to the ladies room, I’ll be right back,” and she disappears leaving me sitting here at the table with my thoughts. I’m watching act after act hit the stage. Some people really can’t sing, but that’s the fun in karaoke, you can just get drunk, make a fool of yourself, and enjoy a night out. I wish I could enjoy myself right now. Will I ever get over him or quit thinking about him as much? I know they say time heals all wounds, but will this ever heal? I truly love him, more than I ever did any of my exes.
I look around at all the people. I stare at the bar and I think I notice Michael’s friend, Brandon. I turn my head in the other direction. If it is him, I don’t want him to notice me. I don’t want all the questions or the judgment. Once Sarah returns I’ll tell her it’s time to go. I don’t want a run in with any of his friends.
“Let’s go,” I say to Sarah once she’s returned from the restroom. “What the hell Terri, why are you in a rush now?” she says as she’s taking another drink of her tequila sunrise.
“Because I want to go now.” She looks at me funny. “Fine,” she says as she finishes her drink.
As we fight our way through the crowds, I hear someone tap the microphone. Ugh, I hate when they do that. Sing your song and get off stage. You’re not supposed to give a speech to the rest of us. I could care less what you think.
He clears his throat before he speaks. And I’m still trying to fight my way through the crowd, hoping Brandon doesn’t see me or Addison or any other friends of Michaels. Or even Michael.
“Have you ever had your heart broken? Have you ever wanted that girl so much it didn’t matter what anyone else thought or wanted for that matter?” I hear him say.
The voice sounds familiar, extremely familiar. But I continue to walk. Almost out the door. Sarah pulling my hand now since there are so many people we might lose each other.
“That’s how I feel about Theresa Leighton. She’s the girl that got away and I want nothing more than to have her back.”
Sarah stops. “Keep walking,” I yell toward her. But she’s frozen. “Sarah, walk,” but she gives me the look. The look best friends give you when they disagree. When they know something is better for you than you realize.
“He’s talking about you. Is that Michael?” she asks me, but I don’t turn. I can’t look at him. I can’t see the heartbreak in his eyes. I can’t stand the pain I caused him. I know he’s been calling. I know he’s been waiting for me. But looking at him will break me. “Turn around, Terri”
“This is for you angel,” I say into the microphone as I pull it off the stand. She’s seen my softer side. She knows I care about her, and she should know I’d do anything for her, even make a fool of myself. I lay it all out there and hope she listens, I hope she listens to the words and doesn’t continue to run.
I remember when I first met you
Sipping coffee in a corner booth
You were twirling your hair
And I just had to stare
For a minute or two
I was laughing at your stack of books
Then you shot me that smile
Hey beautiful girl, in your own little world
Let me in it
You got all of my attention
And you ain't even trying
Yeah, you're my kind of different
And I never seen nothin'
Nothin' like you
Shades on spinning in a summer rain
Dancing when there ain't no music
Just the right kind of crazy, baby
Something about you
Rockin' that rock 'n roll t-shirt
Whole party dressed up
But you just doin' your thing
Ain't nobody ever seen nothin' like you
She’s not moving while I sing the lyrics. She’s stuck. Maybe it’s because her friend won’t let her go or because she can’t resist me. If this won’t work, I don’t know what will or how I can top it.
I love the way that you kiss me
In front of everybody
So baby come and kiss me
They ain't ever seen nothin'
And that’s when she turns around. We are gazing into each other’s eyes, I’m still singing. Still repeating over and over how there’s no on
e like her. Her eyes never leave mine; she’s staring right into them. I don’t see anyone around. Only her. I only want her. The melody ends. And I’m standing on stage staring right at her as she’s staring right at me. The crowd applauds. But it doesn’t matter. I didn’t sing for them. They weren’t my audience, only she was.
As I put the microphone back on the stand and exit the stage, I see her try to leave. I’m fighting my way through the crowd. I need to get to her before she makes her way out of here, hoping her friend is on my side.
“Theresa!” I scream, but she won’t be able to hear me through all this commotion. Strangers are patting my shoulders wishing me luck. Don’t just wish me luck, stop the girl before I lose her again. Trying to get to Theresa in this mess of a crowd is hell. But I’m determined. I’m not slowing down, pushing drunks out of my way and run, I’m chasing her. The only person I’ve ever chased in my life.
“Theresa!”
That’s when I spot her. She’s outside, waiting on me. Leaned up against a wall, her friend right by her side. I mouth a thank you to her friend and watch her leave. Leaving me alone with Theresa. Finally, just her and I after weeks that felt like years. I want to lean in and kiss her so bad, but I can’t seem to do it. I’m across from her as she’s leaned against the wall. We are both silent. Neither of us sure what to say first.
She whispers, “Michael,” knowing exactly what it does to me when she whispers my name. I can’t control myself and lean in and kiss her hard. My lips against hers. I have missed the taste of her lips, I’ve missed her cherry chap stick. I’ve missed her scent. All these thoughts running through my head as I kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her. She never budges. Her breathing is hard to keep up with. I release.
“Why?” I ask her and she looks down.
When he presses his lips against mine, I don’t want it to end. I want his lips, always. I’ve missed his lips. The taste of beer on his tongue, I feel his anxiety, his adrenaline. My heart races, I can’t keep up. He turns me on. With every inch of my body I get more turned on, just by his lips. Just by his touch on my cheek. He’s breathing into me with his tongue deep down my throat. If we weren’t in public, I’d let him fuck me right here, right now. It’s a kiss that made me realize, I’ve never been happier in my life. He might just be worth it. All it takes is whispering his name.
“So,” I say trying to figure out where we go from here. She leans in and kisses me, those sweet kisses that are supposed to tell you something but hell if you know what it is.
I see a bench around the corner and ask her to sit down with me. Maybe she’ll open up more. Maybe we won’t be distracted by kissing. Yeah, like that’s going to happen, all I can think about is kissing her.
Once we sit down, I place my hand on her thighs. I don’t want her leaving any time soon, at least not until she explains to me what happened, what she was thinking.
“You killed me, Theresa,” I start off. “I’m sorry, Michael. It wasn’t easy,”
“If it wasn’t easy, why did you do it?”
“I told you why!”
“You wrote me why and that doesn’t explain anything. One minute things are great and then you say stuff like I’m going to hurt you and break you. I never gave you that impression, did I? I will never hurt you, Theresa. Just like you, I also have strong feelings for you, I am falling in love, and I realized that more and more during the time we weren’t together. You don’t know how much I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” she whispers.
“Then why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you let me get a hold of you? Why suffer through it?”
She just looks down. No words. And I feel bad for her, but because she doesn’t know how to handle this, she doesn’t know how to move past a breakup, or what I’d like to just call a misunderstanding.
“Theresa, I would do anything for us to be back together.”
“But it won’t work out, don’t you see that?” she snaps her head up with concern in her eyes, “they’ll judge us. They’ll think the worst.”
“Baby, what’s it matter what they think. What we have is what matters. Our relationship is what matters, not what people are going to think or how they feel about it. It doesn’t concern them.”
“To you maybe, I never wanted to be the girl that slept her way to the top.”
“Is that how you feel?” I never realized I made her feel like that. Or that everyone thinking that made her think she wasn’t worthy at her job.
“No,” she barely speaks.
“Be honest, babe,”
“Okay, maybe a little.”
“Let me stop you right there. You have been great at work, and I’m not saying that because I love you, I’m saying that because you’re good. You’re what I expect of an assistant. Everything I always needed done was done, in a fashionable time. You always had my back at meetings, and you always made sure I was organized. That’s me telling my assistant this. Not me telling my girlfriend this,” I try to clear up.
“Girlfriend?”
“That’s what you got out of that, honey?” I ask her with a smug smile on my face.
But she just giggles, “sorry.”
“Seriously though, the falling in love with you was a perk. I didn’t intend on it, and I didn’t hire you because of your good looks, well maybe a little,” I wink at her, “but because of your confidence, your resume, your self-esteem. I don’t think you realize the affect you have on people, the other ladies around you get jealous. I also don’t think you realize how easy it is for anyone to be around you. You’re a sweetheart, you’re sexy, you make me forget any pain I’ve ever had and you’re the first person to help me move forward and let go of the past. I can’t let you go, Theresa. I don’t want to and I will do anything to keep you close by my side.”
She leans into me. Her shoulder falls on mine.
“Baby, I’m not letting you go again. I’ll fight for you always.”
And I feel her smile against me, “I’ve noticed your fight.”
I kiss the top of her head. I don’t want to ever see us apart again and I think I’ll need to prove to her more than a song that I’m too falling in love with her and would do anything for her and to protect her.
“Did you like? Or better yet, did it work?”
“I’m sitting here with you aren’t I?” she says looking up at me. I smile at her. I’m running out of words to say. She’s back in my arms and it’s the greatest feeling in the world. I’m breathing in her scent, I’m able to kiss her at any given moment, I can tell her that I love her like I wanted to do so many times before.
Theresa stirs and sits up, she doesn’t shy away from the question, “Do you think we have a chance?”
“Did you even listen to me baby? Of course I think we have a chance. We’re perfect together.”
She laughs, “well I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Why not? You and I together are perfect. Different definitions of perfect, honey.” I kiss her lips.
“Theresa?”
“Yes Michael?”
“I love you.”
She looks at me for a minute. We’re sitting on a bench outside of the country bar, nothing but the street lights glimmering. Nothing but the sound of cars driving by and the muffled sound of the music coming through the doors of the bar. In this moment, it’s just her and me. And even if I didn’t think this was the perfect spot to tell her how I feel about her, this is the perfect spot for us. No matter where we are, I will show her how much I love her.
“I love you more,” and I can’t help but shake my head after she says that.
“Prove it.” Shocked she looks at me. Confused for a moment. But then her confidence that I’ve grown to know and love comes right back out.
She takes her hand and squeezes my crotch, leans in and kisses my lips, but not as hard as I thought she would with the way she’s squeezing my cock through my jeans. Nope, it’s this soft and gentle kiss that is driving me crazy. Her teeth bite my lips
, she’s pulling them.
“Are we interrupting anything?” I jump at Ryan’s questions. Theresa jumps back and turns beet red.
“Thanks fucker,” I say laughing. Not letting Theresa go, my hand gripping hers.
“We’re heading home. You two gonna be ok?” I nod to Ryan and we say goodbye to my friends.
Happiness doesn’t describe how I’m feeling right now. She’s back in my life and I’m trying not to think about the past few weeks that I’ve been searching for her. The past few weeks that I’ve begged for her, begged out loud every night, hoping that it would happen. Hoping I could be close to her again, and here I am. With her.
“Would you go home with me?” I unashamedly ask.
“Yes,” she whispers.
Back at my place, I pour us each a glass of wine. Her favorite bottle of Pinot Grigio has never left the cabinet. I know how much she loves to have a glass in the evening, and I’m more than content to share that with her.
I sit down on the couch next to her, where she has made herself comfortable.
“So I have a surprise for you,” I tell her as I reach into my back pocket.
She looks at me confused, “already?”
“Always, babe. Always! So while I couldn’t get a hold of you, I had received an envelope at the office. Here’s the letter that was in the envelope.” I hand her the letter and want her to read it herself, looking forward to the reaction on her face. She reads, her eyebrows rising. Her mouth gaping open, she turns the letter over, and then back over, and reads again. And I’m waiting for her to say something. She surprises me when she jumps off the sofa and walks back and forth in my living room.
“This is a joke right? You’re messing with me.”
I reach into my back pocket again and hand her the plane tickets. She slowly pulls them out of my hand and looks down at them. She stares, her smile growing and growing.
