Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone
Page 12
However, James could still make my heart flutter. It fluttered all the more when James pulled Jane and me closer still and exclaimed, "All for one and one for all!" We laughed rather giddily. Then he handed us into the carriage.
Before James entered, I heard him say, "Here's the promised hundred quid. Now we may return to the docks and Sir Alastair."
The driver answered, "Right, sir. And may Oi just say Oi'm appy to ave been of some small service in rescuin' the miss. Right bit of detective work that were."
"Right," said James, not admitting that it had been my right bit of detective work, for which I felt the slightest bit peeved. Then he swung himself into the carriage, and we were off once more, only not quite in such a harum-scarum manner as we had come.
***
THE DOCKS WERE still abustle, but there were a few differences. Most of the Home Office personnel were absent, along with Don Hernando and Pedro, as were the inspector, sergeant, Georgie Grimsley, the dame, and the generalissimo. My relations stood about looking quite miserable, although Moriarty was in the act of serving them tea from a tea trolley he had somehow procured. He also had acquired cakes.
The most startling difference was the presence of Professor Lepworthy, in deep conversation with Sir Alastair, Uncle Augustus, and the remaining Home Office personnel.
"What is Professor Lepworthy doing here?" asked Jane as she alighted from the carriage.
"I have no idea," said James. "Perhaps he came because of the Tou-eh-mah-mah butterflies."
A light dawned in my weary brain. I remembered the strange sound on the ship. "No, not butterflies. The thrumming I heard. Mosquitoes. Yellow fever or malaria," I said.
"What are you talking about?" asked Jane.
"The yellow fever and malaria Don Hernando said he would unleash from the ship," I explained.
James said, "You mean that theory that Dr. Finlay and Dr. Gorgas have been putting about that mosquitoes carry those tropical diseases?" He proved once again that all of his muscles were magnificent, including those in his head.
I scurried toward Uncle, calling over my shoulder, "Precisely. Don Hernando threatened worse than a kidnapping. What would happen to London if a ship full of mosquitoes carrying tropical diseases was unleashed on an unsuspecting populace?"
Jane and James scurried after me. "Disaster," they said in unison.
As we approached Uncle Augustus, Professor Lepworthy—whose errant toupee was held firmly in place by a bowler hat—and Sir Alastair, we heard Sir Alastair protesting, "But it has not even been proven that mosquitoes carry disease. It is much more likely to be dirty linen."
"Yes, it has, Chumpy, old prune. Do listen to reason and exercise a bit of caution," said Uncle. "It is unfortunate that you sent your men onto the ship and they entered the hold, but at least we now know that the true cargo of this ship is vats and vats of mosquito larvae and that they are meant to decimate London once they are dumped in the Thames."
Professor Lepworthy added, "Yes, I'm sorry for your poor men. I expect they'll be in hospital within three or four days. However, their actions may have saved England by alerting us to the danger. The mosquitoes they brought out are indeed the Stegomyia and the Anopheles, which scientific researchers have proven to be the carriers of yellow fever and malaria. Most interesting. The Anopheles especially—it bites while standing on its head." Professor Lepworthy unfolded a piece of waxed paper, undoubtedly supplied by Uncle Augustus, who was still clutching Insectile Creatures. He studied whatever was deposited on it through a magnifying glass. "Definitely a Stegomyia."
Sir Alastair harrumphed. I could see he was waffling in his opinions and not quite sure what to do, so I decided to make a foray into political arbitration. "So good to see you here, Sir Alastair. You will know just what to tell the newspapers about how you saved England from certain death. It is a great comfort to know that a man of your stature will have the foresight to avert disaster through the latest scientific means."
Sir Alastair looked thoughtful. "I would look heroic, wouldn't I?" He turned to Professor Lepworthy. "And what exactly is the latest scientific method?"
Professor Lepworthy was busily engaged in examining the mosquitoes on the waxed paper, exclaiming particularly over the beauty of the Stegomyia. He said rather absently, "It's actually quite easy to kill these delicate creatures. All you have to do is spray them with kerosene. Then the film that settles on the water where the larvae reside also kills the larvae because they cannot breathe. Major Walter Reed has been killing them off by the millions in Havana using that method. Pity. They're such interesting creatures."
Uncle Augustus stepped forward. "I volunteer to go into the hold to do the spraying," he said with an eagerness that belied his motive.
"What, old boy? You'd put yourself at risk to save your country?" Sir Alastair was visibly affected by his friend's proposed sacrifice.
I, however, was under no illusion as to my uncle's goal in making such an offer. He was anticipating lunch. There was one problem. I said, "A grand idea, dear uncle. However, would you not be putting yourself at risk of succumbing to disease if you are bitten?"
Uncle Augustus's eager countenance fell under the onslaught of reason, much as Rome had fallen to the Gauls.
"Not likely. Not after what has happened to him," said Professor Lepworthy under his breath. He looked up from his study of the mosquitoes to find all our attention firmly directed toward him. He glanced from Uncle Augustus to me and then to Jane and James and finally to Sir Alastair. The expressions on our faces ranged from puzzlement on Sir Alastair's countenance to various stages of alarm. Professor Lepworthy could be referring only to the change that had been wrought on Uncle Augustus. I shuddered to think what Sir Alastair would think of that. It would be the ruination of Uncle's reputation—and mine.
When the professor looked in my direction, I shook my head in negation and warning. So did Uncle Augustus, Jane, and James as he scanned their visages. Jane raised one finger to her lips.
"Oh," said Professor Lepworthy as he registered our condemnation of revealing certain information. "No?"
We all shook our heads more vigorously.
"Oh, what? No, what?" demanded Sir Alastair acerbically, clearly taking umbrage at our silent code.
Professor Lepworthy seemed to consider what to do for a moment, then withdrew another bit of waxed paper from his pocket and unfolded it, holding it before us. He said, "Observe the Tou-eh-mah-mah butterfly and beetle that I captured near the logs that have been unloaded from the Estrella. These insects are known to feast on the Stegomyia and the Anopheles mosquitoes. Once the mosquitoes have been eaten, the beetles produce a serum that provides a natural immunity to malaria and yellow fever. Ingesting such insects is one way known to aboriginal tribes of acquiring immunity, much like what happens to those who have had the diseases and become immune to them." He nodded meaningfully at Uncle Augustus, who suddenly seemed much happier—overjoyed, in fact.
"Are you suggesting we eat those insects in order to acquire immunity? Quite disgusting and ... and un-British," said Sir Alastair. "Besides, what does it have to do with you, Augustus?"
Uncle Augustus turned toward the home secretary. "I think the professor was merely reminding me that over the course of my lifetime, and, er, certain events, I have acquired a natural immunity to malaria and yellow fever. Am I correct in making such an assumption?" Uncle turned toward Professor Lepworthy, who nodded vigorously.
"Quite so," said the professor.
"I had no idea you'd been through such an ordeal," said Sir Alastair. "That does rather change my view of your sacrifice on behalf of Mother England. Not nearly so dangerous, what?"
"Precisely," said Uncle. "Therefore, I suggest I board the Estrella and ascertain the best procedure to, um, dispatch the mosquitoes while you send your men for spraying equipment and kerosene."
"Very good," said Sir Alastair. He immediately gathered his remaining government men and was soon in conversation with them.
"He can't mean to..." said Jane.
"How many thousands of them are there?" asked James.
"Millions, more than likely," answered Professor Lepworthy.
"Bravo, Uncle Augustus," I said. I burst into laughter and was quickly joined by the others, all except Sir Alastair, who looked as if he thought himself transported to Bedlam.
Chapter Twenty-nine
In Which a Cure Is Possible
WHEN ONE HAS CAUSE TO celebrate, one should do so. However, in order to celebrate to the fullest, one must not be merely one. One must have friends who feel some investment in the cause for celebration. Such was the case the next noon as Uncle Augustus and I welcomed Jane and James to a celebratory nuncheon on the south lawn.
I enjoyed the sumptuous repast, especially after the deprivations of the previous few days, as did Jane. James, of course, always has a hearty appetite. However, in spite of the variety and abundance of foodstuffs present, Uncle seemed content merely to watch us as we partook of the delicacies on the table, his hands folded over his rounded tummy, clearly still satiated by his feast on the ship the day before. We discussed our adventures, filling each other in on the events that had taken place when we were apart. We were just describing to Uncle how we had found Jane, when Moriarty approached.
As Moriarty glided across the lawn holding aloft his ubiquitous silver tray, we saw Professor Lepworthy, toupee slipping and sliding on his shining pate, shambling along behind clutching a slender-necked amber bottle and an envelope.
"Professor Maximus Lepworthy," announced Moriarty.
Uncle Augustus leaped to his feet and shook the professor's hand. "My good man. How pleased I am to see you. Won't you join us? There's plenty of room. Moriarty, please see to setting another place."
"As good as done, sir," said Moriarty, and from his silver tray he produced the necessary cutlery and china, arranging them into a setting next to Uncle Augustus's place. Then he snapped his fingers, and a footman brought along another chair.
It suddenly occurred to me that Moriarty had shared in our adventures as much as anyone, and although he was of the servant class, we owed him a great deal. "Would you care to join us as well, Moriarty? We should be happy to include you after all you have done for us, old friend," I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the footman's mouth fall open at my suggestion. However, Uncle Augustus, Jane, and James all nodded approvingly.
A flicker of a smile twitched the corner of Moriarty's lips, only to be replaced at once by his normal impassivity. "Thank you, miss, but I rather enjoy my present position and its attendant privileges and amusements. It is my pleasure to serve you." He bowed deeply, seated Professor Lepworthy, and then stepped back to stand at his usual attention.
The professor handed the bottle and envelope to Uncle Augustus. "For you, Augustus, as a token of appreciation from our Panamanian friends. Generalissimo Reyes-Cardoza is something of an entomologist himself. Jolly chap. We had a lovely conversation last evening."
Uncle set the dark amber bottle on the table next to Insectile Creatures, where they both looked quite out of place among the Spode china, crumpets, and cucumber sandwiches. He opened the envelope and removed a letter. He read for a moment, then flung the letter on the table. His countenance crumbled into what seemed to be grief, then he departed precipitously into the shrubberies.
I blinked, astonished at Uncle's behavior. "Professor Lepworthy, whatever has upset Uncle Augustus so?"
"The old egg looked rather unhappy," said James.
"Indeed he did," said Jane, staring thoughtfully after Uncle.
Professor Lepworthy looked as unhappy as Uncle. "I am so sorry, Miss Arbuthnot. I thought your uncle would be pleased with the generalissimo's gift, or I would not have brought it."
James examined the bottle's label. "I take it that this contains the Tou-eh-mah-mah beetle antidote."
"And the letter tells how to use it. Is that correct?" said Jane.
"Yes," said the professor.
I failed to see what had upset Uncle. I was overjoyed. "Why, that's marvelous! It is the answer to our problem. Uncle need not be ashamed to go out in public, nor will I," I exclaimed, thinking of my cherished plans for a London season and the necessary presence of a guardian who was not one of my aunts, which fact had been threatened by Uncle's transformation and new obsession.
Then I remembered the torment on Uncle's face and his sudden departure into the shrubberies. He, quite obviously, did not consider the gift of the antidote a salubrious one. In light of Uncle Augustus's misery, my excitement evaporated like the dew on a summer's morn. I sighed deeply. "However, if it makes Uncle wretched to effect such a cure..." I broke off, unable to finish the thought and very much as miserable as Uncle seemed to be.
I glanced at Jane and James, who were seated on either side of me, for some support. Jane took my hand in hers while James patted me on the shoulder. His touch helped me smile tremulously and say, "I cannot think what must be done. If I am happy, then Uncle is unhappy, and if Uncle is happy, then I..." I worried my lower lip between my teeth as I studied the arboretum where the foliage quivered suggestively.
Jane, James, and Professor Lepworthy turned in their chairs to look in the same direction. At that moment Uncle leaped to the head of a piece of statuary and from there to the top of a nearby reproduction of a Greek temple, where he snatched something from the air and then disappeared into the surrounding vegetation.
"Magnificent," said Professor Lepworthy.
"Such agility is quite unusual in a man his age," said Jane, her eyes wide in astonishment. I realized she had not previously seen Uncle in action.
James nodded. "Pity to lose such an ability."
Just then the shrubberies parted, and Uncle Augustus trudged purposefully toward us. He stopped just short of the table and faced us, taking a determined stance—chin high, hands clasped behind his back, eyes fixed just over our heads—looking every bit the distinguished English gentleman whom I had known and loved my entire life. Even so, he seemed somewhat wilted.
He cleared his throat and said, "I have been thinking it over and come to a conclusion. It is not only my duty to care for my dearest niece until she comes of age, it is my wish to do so as well as is possible, because of the great affection I have for her." For a moment his chin quivered. Then he took a deep breath and continued resolutely, "Therefore I will take the antidote and follow the ritual directions to the letter in order to restore normality."
"Oh, Uncle," I exclaimed as I jumped up from my chair and embraced him. His arms came around me, and he drew me into an embrace.
I pulled myself away to gaze up into his face. "No, I cannot allow you to do so."
"What?" he said, clearly confused. "Why ever not?"
"Because, dearest of uncles, I love you too much, and I want you to be happy more than I could ever want a London season."
"But ... but..." He seemed at a loss as to how to counter my declaration.
"Professor Lepworthy," said James. "Do you know if eating a Tou-eh-mah-mah beetle can cause any detrimental effects other than those exhibited by Mr. Percival? Is his condition life threatening?"
"Why, no. In fact the aborigines of Tou-eh-mah-mah Island have unusually long life spans. Several scientists attribute this to their beetle ingestions, which many of them do in a coming-of-age ritual. It has not been proven that the beetles are the actual cause of aboriginal longevity. However, we do not know the effects of beetle ingestion on those who are not Tou-eh-mah-mah natives," said Professor Lepworthy.
"So we do not know for certain if Uncle's condition is ultimately beneficial or detrimental? Now I truly am confused as to what we should do," I said.
> "Ahem," said Uncle Augustus. "As I said, for my niece's sake, I am willing to make the sacrifice of—"
"Perhaps I may offer a solution," said Moriarty, gliding to our sides. We watched in astonishment as he pulled a new Vile Vial from his pocket and set it on the table with a flourish.
Both James and Jane started up from the table, putting some distance between themselves and the Vile Vial, although Professor Lepworthy regarded it with mild interest, obviously not having encountered it previously. Uncle and I prudently stepped back a pace.
Moriarty seemed to find our actions amusing. His lips twitched, and I gained a glimmer of understanding about why he enjoyed butlering in my household. He continued, "You see upon the table the small bottle in which I keep my most useful"—and here he could not help but momentarily smile—"smelling salts. You will notice that the cork stopper keeps the contents from spilling, which makes the bottle convenient for carrying on my person at all times. Perhaps several such bottles would be suitable—properly labeled with directions for carrying out the ritual, of course—for Miss Arbuthnot, myself, and Mr. Percival to have on our respective persons for the possible contingency of an emergency when we would have to administer the antidote. Then Mr. Percival might safely continue in his present state."
"Brilliant," said Uncle as he gave a small leap into the air and came down clutching a dragonfly. He grinned hugely, chewed it, and swallowed.
"Bravo," shouted James as he hugged me to his side. I would have preferred a kiss but contented myself by hugging him in return.
Jane could not help laughing with the rest of us at Uncle's antics.
Much as I enjoyed being in James's arms, I disengaged myself and turned to my butler. "And bravo to you, Moriarty. You are truly brilliant. In fact, you are a butler among butlers."
Moriarty bowed and clicked his heels, in the manner of the generalissimo. "I aim to please, miss."