by Marla Monroe
Bo just sat there for several silent minutes staring at his friend as a single solitary tear slid down his cheek. It made more sense now. It all fit. The years Dalton had followed him from place to place. The fact that he’d cut part of his hair though it had long since grown back. The scars on Dalton’s legs he’d assumed had come from his last tour since he had already left when Dalton had finally made it home. He’d sliced his legs and cut his hair out of grief and to atone for his failures. Bo didn’t blame him though. No matter what the other man said, it had been wrong of him to lust after his blood brother’s wife, and it had been wrong for him to allow her to believe he was going to tell her husband about her affair.
He rubbed his face with both hands trying to wrap his head around it all. He’d wanted her to hurt and worry because it had been a blow to him as well. Despite the fact that she’d been Dalton’s wife, Bo had claimed her in his heart just as surely as his friend had claimed her legally. It had hurt him deeply that she’d cheated. The pain had clouded his eyes to her brittle emotions and hardened his heart to the possible outcomes of his cruelty. Yes, it was her decision to end her life, but Bo had planted the last straw on her back. He was still guilty of so many things. Of indifference to her situation, of selfishness in believing he had a right to his pain and disappointment. So many things…
“Bo. Will you ever be able to forgive me?” Dalton asked from across the room.
Despite everything, he felt no betrayal from his friend. Perhaps it was because he’d felt resentment for so long that he’d married her while he’d been away and hadn’t had the chance to court the only woman he’d ever had feelings for. Maybe it was because Bo had not left him alone to grieve without knowing the entire story. He’d followed him and now he’d come clean of his part in the whole sordid mess. All he felt right then was a bone deep tiredness that pulled at his soul.
“There is nothing to forgive, my brother. We have both caused pain and grief to the other as well as to she who cannot be named. It is finished. I no longer go by Enkoodabaoo for I no longer live alone. I am Machk Askuwheteau, Bear Who Keeps Watch. I will keep watch over our friendship, brother.” Bo stood up and walked over to hold out his hand to his blood brother.
Dalton accepted his hand and let him help him to his feet. Bo could still see more in his friend’s eyes though. He knew what the other man wanted to talk about, but they both needed sleep before they tackled anything more that day.
“Rest and we will discuss this more tomorrow. I believe we will both need a clear head to conquer that subject.”
Dalton sighed but nodded and reached for the door. As soon as it closed behind him, Bo allowed a tear to fall for what might have been and let it go. The past was the past now and no longer claimed a hold on him. Whatever was decided for their future he would not drag it with him.
* * * *
“Hey, Shelby. Are you real busy?” Billy Jean knocked on the open door to her office and leaned in.
“Hey, Billy Jean. Come on in,” she said, making a quick note on the report she had been reading through.
“I hate to bother you, but there’s no one around and I wanted to take some sandwiches out to the barn for the guys since some of them missed breakfast this morning. Would you go with me?” she asked. “I hate to bother you, but…”
“No problem. Let me wash my hands first. I’ve been digging through files.” She didn’t mind helping the other woman at all. Billy Jean was seeing a therapist about her fear of horses after a terrible accident when she was a young teenager. The fact that she was able to go out to the barn or stables as long as someone was with her was a big step for her. She didn’t actually go inside yet, but she did stand in the doorway.
“I’m in the entrance with the trays when you get ready,” She said, as they left the office.
Shelby turned left to make a quick trip to the bathroom while Billy Jean turned right. It made Shelby feel good to see her trying to get out more. She’d been so afraid to go outside at all when she’d first arrived. They hadn’t known at the time of her extreme fear, but since she’d confessed it and the guys had talked her into seeing someone, Billy Jean had blossomed and was doing well.
It really bothered her that she might not get to hang around to see the other woman one day ride a horse again or at the very least, ride on a wagon. She’d been afraid she might have been found again, but so far, nothing else had happened. The e-mail she’d received on her old account had suggested that they knew where she’d headed the last time she had moved, but the more she thought about it, the more she felt like they were just fishing to get her to reveal herself by accident. She didn’t think they knew yet that she wasn’t using any of the cards or the name she’d used before. When they figured that out, Shelby wasn’t sure what they would do next.
Looking in the mirror as she dried her hands, Shelby frowned over the dark circles under her eyes. She could have sworn she’d applied more makeup than that to cover them that morning. It was too late to run upstairs to add more. She just had to hope no one would notice. Sleep had been slow coming to her after Dalton had left. Not that she’d gotten much sleep in the last year anyway.
As she approached the other woman standing in the entrance hall, Billy Jean looked up and for a split second, Shelby saw the worry and fear in the woman’s eyes before she covered it with a broad smile.
“I really appreciate this. I hated the idea of them working with nothing in their stomachs. I know that Dakota and Reed ended up chasing down a few of the donkeys that got out last night. I’m not sure why Bo and Dalton didn’t make it though.” She picked up one of the trays and Shelby grabbed the other one.
“Man. It sure smells good. What is it?” she asked.
“Fried ham-and-cheese sandwiches and apple fritters on your tray,” Billy Jean told her as they slowly descended the steps to the ground.
“I’m going to steal one of the fritters when we get there. Consider it my payment,” Shelby said with a chuckle.
“Don’t bother. I have plenty for you to snatch in the kitchen including a few sandwiches, too. You didn’t eat much breakfast.” Billy Jean didn’t say anything more to that, but it was hanging in the air between them. The other woman wanted to know what was going on with her, she knew.
As much as she’d love to confide in someone her troubles, she wasn’t about to place anyone else in the line of fire. The less they knew, the better off they were. Plus, if she told them, they’d want to help her, and that would only lead to putting them into danger. No, she wasn’t about to do that. The twins had accepted her story that she’d left her job due to harassment and knew they wouldn’t have given her a good reference. Why they’d taken her on her word, she didn’t know, but thought it had something to do with the fact that they had been desperate for help and she’d shown up at the perfect time.
As they approached the barn, Billy Jean’s feet slowed. Shelby followed suit and started talking to distract the other woman.
“How goes the plans for the grand opening to the public?”
“Good, actually. I have the menus back from the printer and they look perfect. I’m backing them with the burgundy holders I showed you. I’ll be able to change them out seasonally and for special occasions,” she said, her pleasure apparent in the smile in her voice.
“Super. I bet the waitresses are excited to have a chance at more hours as well,” she said as they reached the barn door that stood open a good two feet.
“Yeah, they are.” Billy Jean didn’t say anything more.
Shelby shoved the door open a little wider and called out, “anyone in here hungry?”
It was almost comical the way Bo’s hat-clad head shot out the side of one stall and Dalton’s poked up above another one. Then Reed emerged from the tack room still holding a bridle.
“Did I hear something about food?” he asked with a wide grin.
Billy Jean snorted. “No. You heard hungry and assumed there was food involved.”
He took th
e tray from her and Dalton relieved Shelby of hers with a warm smile.
“Morning, Shelby. You look pretty in that yellow blouse,” he said.
It startled her so much she had to think of what to say to him. “Um, thank you.”
Bo took a sandwich from the tray Reed held then handed another one over to Dalton. He smiled at her before reaching for a fritter off of the tray Bo had commandeered. She wiped her hands on her jeans, rubbing them up and down the sides of her thighs.
“How are you doing?” Bo asked, cocking his head with a strange look in his eyes.
“Fine. Doing fine. Hope you enjoy the food. Billy Jean was worried about you guys.” Shelby took a step back before turning to join the other woman at the door to the barn.
“Laramie ended up going out with Dakota on the morning ride. Said to tell you at lunch not to expect him till after the ride around three,” Reed told Billy Jean.
“I figured as much when he didn’t come back to the main lodge after going out to check the horses. Is something wrong?” she asked.
Shelby noticed how Billy Jean kept looking off to the side of the barn then back inside at the others. When she stepped back and took a look, it was to see one of the other hands riding his horse in their direction. He was going slowly, but Billy Jean was getting antsy.
“He wanted to check the trail where we found some sign of a bear foraging to see how close it’s getting to the cabins,” the man said.
Billy Jean nodded and took a couple of steps back toward Shelby as one of the hands who normally worked the breeding side stopped a good ten feet from them and climbed off his horse. He obviously knew not to scare the bosses’ wife.
“Morning, Mrs. Marshall. I was just coming to talk to Laramie. How are you doing today?” he asked, slowly leading his horse up with him.
Billy Jean plastered a smile on her face but took another step back, making Shelby have to side step to keep from getting run over.
“I’m fine. I’m afraid Laramie is out on a trail ride. Is there something Laredo can help you with? He’s up in the office,” she said.
“Hmm, I doubt it. I’ll try him on the radio,” the man said. Then he leaned toward them holding out the lead to his horse. “Can you hold him a second while I get it off my saddle?”
When Billy Jean made no move to take the reins, Shelby took them but remained standing next to the other woman so that her body was between her and the horse.
Please don’t freak out, Billy Jean. You’re doing so well, and I don’t have a clue what to do if you lose it.
The hand walked back up and took the reins from her. “Thanks, ma’am.” Giving Billy Jean a smile and a wink, he nodded. “I’ll talk to you later, Mrs. Marshall.”
Once he’d moved out of hearing range, Billy Jean surprised them all when she cursed like a true wrangler. “Son of a bitch! I thought I was going to pee in my pants.”
“Well, you didn’t, and you didn’t pass out either,” Shelby said giving her a pat on the shoulder.
“Real nice, Billy Jean,” Reed told her.
Bo and Dalton nodded as they ate another sandwich. Shelby tried not to notice how good they looked despite being dusty and sweaty from work. That brief second they had been next to her, she’d inhaled their heady scents of leather and horseflesh combined with their own unique scents had been a bit overwhelming. She’d had to inhale deeply once she’d stepped outside to clear her head. Seeing them again made her remember how Bo had essentially offered to take care of her issues and Dalton had promised to pursue her.
“Are you ready to head back?” Billy Jean asked after a few seconds. “I think I’m steady enough again to walk back to the lodge.”
“What about the trays?” Shelby asked.
“Hey, guys! One of you bring the trays back when they’re empty. Okay?” she asked.
“No problem,” Reed called back as he reached for another apple fritter.
Billy Jean nodded and turned back to her. “All taken care of. No let’s get out of here before I screw up my proud accomplishment by passing out or something.”
Shelby chuckled and hurried to keep up with the other woman’s fast pace. “You really did great. I can’t wait to hear what the twins think.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t feel like I did so well. I should have been able to at least pass you the reins instead of standing there like a freaking statue,” she scoffed.
“It’s been less than three weeks since you first saw your therapist. Give yourself a break, Billy Jean! I’m impressed that you’re going down there at all without one of the twins with you. It’s not like I’m much of a safety net when I don’t know much about horses either and I would have fallen over if you’d passed out on me. Not much help there,” Shelby pointed out.
“I really appreciate you going with me. I hadn’t even thought of whether you were scared of horses or not.”
“Not scared of them, but do have a healthy respect for them. I’ve been on the back of one just once and it wasn’t so bad, but the horse was huge and the ground was a long ways down to me.” She winked at Billy Jean. “I was only eleven at the time.”
The other woman laughed. “Was it a pony at a fair or a real, honest-to-goodness horse?”
“It was actually a real horse. We had gone to one of the state parks one weekend and someone my dad knew was there with his horse so they let me sit on it while the man walked him around the parking lot for a few times.”
Billy Jean smiled. “Great first experience. You should go riding sometimes. I’m sure one of the guides would be happy to take you out. I know the guys have told you to take advantage of anything you want to do on your time off. You really should.”
“Maybe. Right now I need to get back to work though,” she said as they climbed the steps to the front porch of the lodge.
“Want that fritter I promised you?” Billy Jean asked.
“Not right now. I may come over later if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine.” She turned to head for the kitchen when they stepped inside then stopped and called back to Shelby. “Hey, Shelby. Do I sense something blooming between you and Dalton or Bo? Or both?”
Shelby shook her head with her mouth open. She couldn’t get anything out fast enough before the other woman had disappeared through the door to the dining area leaving a gaping Shelby standing in the front hall.
Chapter Six
Shelby relaxed on the deck with a glass of iced lemonade and her e-reader, enjoying the light breeze that kept the wide covered deck outside the dining area of the lodge cool and comfortable, perfect for a lazy afternoon of reading and maybe napping. It felt so nice to relax a bit for a change. She’d vowed to not let anything bother her for the afternoon for once. Nothing more had happened to put her on alert, so she was bound and determined to enjoy herself.
As she sipped her lemonade and read, she was aware that others came and went but allowed it to fade into the background. It was the only reason she could think of that she’d missed Bo and Dalton sitting down on either side of her without her noticing right away. It took Dalton clearing his throat and speaking to Bo to pull her out of the comfortable cocoon she’d relaxed into.
“Beautiful day to veg like a potato, isn’t it, Bo?”
“Definitely is. Guess I should have brought a book to read. Didn’t think about it,” Bo returned.
“Still reading those westerns you were so fond of?”
“Yep. My favorite author died back a year or so ago though. Sure going to miss his books.”
Shelby couldn’t help but be intrigued. She never would have expected to hear that either of the two men read. Not because they were American Indians but because they were men. There weren’t a lot of men who read for pleasure.
“Who was your favorite author that died?” she finally asked, dying to know.
“Tony Hillerman. One of the best contemporary western writers I’ve ever read,” Bo said.
She turned her chair slightly to stare at the man. “You’
ve read Tony Hillerman? I love his books. I’ve even listened to them on CD.”
“I figured all you read were romance books,” Dalton said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
She caught herself rolling her eyes at the man. “I guess that makes us even. I didn’t expect to find that Bo was a reader, and you figured as a woman, all I’d read would be romance books.”
“Well,” Dalton began. “A little hot romance reading does tend to spice up the home fires.”
Just like that, the easy rapport they’d developed over the last few minutes began to fade. The teasing reference to sex, no matter how tenuous, had her stomach clenching and her heart racing. It was as if her body didn’t know whether to be excited or worried. As much as she really liked the two men and couldn’t help admiring their sexy bodies, the idea of trusting anyone and more importantly, bringing anyone into her disaster of a life scared her. What if they got hurt because of her?
“It’s probably time for me to head inside. Enjoy the rest of the afternoon, guys.” She started to get up from her seat, but Dalton’s hand on her thigh stopped her cold.
Heat from his big hand penetrated the material of her jeans to brand her skin. She couldn’t move. Just like that, her pussy grew wet with her desire as her nipples hardened to sharp points she was sure showed through her barely there bra all the way through her T-shirt. The knots in her stomach turned to hummingbirds, fluttering frantically to stay in one spot for that perfect, nectar-filled flower. Her eyes locked on his hand, the skin darker than hers and sinewy from hours of hard work.
“Don’t go, kitten,” Dalton said.
“We just want to spend some time with you, little cat,” Bo added.
“I–I’m not sure that is a good idea,” she whispered.
