by C. A. Harms
“Seriously?”
“Hey, it’s better than gluing your hand to your dick,” Xavier said, using his thumb to point in Jay’s direction.
“Really.” I shook my head and looked around my bed to see ice cubes lying all over my sheets. “What the hell is up with you all gluing things to shit? Hasn’t my dick been tortured enough?”
“Well, the poor guy is attached to you, so yeah I’d have to agree the bastard’s fucked for sure.” Xavier chuckled as he started to walk out my door. “By the way, you keep showing your junk to Blake and Red’s liable to cut the fucker off.”
I looked down to see I was exposed as the sheet lay across my thigh. Good thing was, I was no longer hard. I pulled the wet sheet over my lap and looked back up just as Blake and Jay followed behind X. “Remember paybacks suck.”
“I’m not scared.” Blake waved her hand over her shoulder. “I sleep next to the giant, remember. I know the chances of you messing with me while I’m at his side are limited. So I’m safe.”
“You are never safe, Blake,” I hollered after her. “You need to remember I’m a sneaky bastard.”
“I hear you.” She laughed and it made me smile. The girl was like one of the guys and I know I triggered her jokester side. The woman was a beast.
Crawling from bed, I heard the sound of ice cubes falling to the floor and I hung my head. Those fuckers actually dumped an ice-cold bucket of water over me while I was attempting to sleep. At least it wasn’t Kool-Aid; I’ve had that happen too.
After finding a pair of shorts, I gathered my sheets and wadded them up in my laundry bag. When I looked back at my bed, I saw the large circle in the center of my mattress where the water had soaked through. “Assholes,” I mumbled as I grabbed the fan in the corner and plugged it in, setting it up on the chair so that it would blow toward the wet spot. I hoped that shit would dry before tonight.
Moving around my room, I gathered all the clothes that were tossed around and tucked under my bed. I guess now is as good a time as any to get laundry done.
I found the last clean pair of jogging pants I had and changed quickly before grabbing a t-shirt from my closet. With two laundry bags full of clothes, I exited my room and started for the stairs. “Where you going?” Corbin asked as he exited the bathroom, freshly showered. “And why the hell are you wet?”
“I’m going to do laundry.” I held the two bags at my sides a little higher. “As for the wet hair, I was woken up by a bucket of ice water over me in bed. Compliments of Blake, Jay, and X.”
“You fell asleep with your door unlocked?” His eyes widened as if I had committed the crime of all crimes.
“I think the locking the door thing is pointless, considering Blake sleeps with the enemy who holds the keys to every room. Since she’s the damn ring leader now, the only safe place to sleep is in your car on the other side of town. It’s a chance you take when you step foot in this place, you know it and so do I.”
“True.” He nodded, looking over my shoulder, and I imagined one of the sorry suckers who drenched me standing behind me.
“Their payback is coming,” I said, regaining Corbin’s attention. “Thinking maybe I’ll shave all three of their heads, except Blake. I may leave one strip so I can die it some fucked up color.”
“You will not shave my head nor dye it.” I looked back to find her standing next to Red, with her hands on her hips. She glared at me and I was just waiting for Red to say something, only he didn’t. He stood back, his arms crossed over his chest like some bodyguard instead. “Don’t you tempt me, Clay,” Blake added with her normal sass. “You yourself may wake up one morning with a new hairstyle.”
“Later, Kitty,” I offered her a wave and saw Elijah crack a smile.
“Clayton,” she hollered after me but I didn’t pause. I’d let her sweat it out; it’d be good for her.
I drove across town and parked the Ford Explorer that Corbin and I shared in the last space in front of the laundromat. With two rolls of quarters tucked into my pocket, I grabbed both bags and the rest of my shit and started toward the front door.
Just inside, I perched my bags near the first open washers I found and pulled my earbuds out of my pocket, placing one in each ear. I hit my playlist from back home on my phone and drowned out the sounds around me. With three machines loaded and running, I sat down near the table that held my things and slouched back, closing my eyes.
The first thing that popped into my mind was Emelie’s smile, followed by that faked annoyance she expressed. That seemed to be the only thing I’d seen over the last few days every time my eyes closed.
I pulled my ball cap lower on my head, shielding my eyes, and continued to picture her in my mind. The playfulness in her eyes yesterday when I gave her the coffee. The way she laughed when I talked about Blake. They were all different sides to Emelie, sides I wanted to know.
Suddenly my earbuds were ripped from my ears and my eyes flew open. A foot or two in front of me was a little boy, staring up at me with a smile on his face. He held the wires to my buds in one hand and a little fire truck in the other. “Hey buddy,” I said, sliding forward in the chair. He didn’t shy away; instead, his smile widened.
He was a cute kid, but he couldn’t have been more than two or three, tops.
“You wanna hear?” I pointed toward the wires he held. “Wanna listen to the music?” Carefully, I reached out and pulled just one of the earbuds from his little grip and held it up to his ear. The cutest damned thing was to see his eyes widen when he heard the music. “You like that?”
He lifted the other bud to his ear and held it there.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” I looked up only to come face to face with Emelie. “Clayton.” I watched as she swallowed hard and looked down at the little boy before me. “He thinks it’s funny to make me chase him.”
Then it dawned on me that she was talking about the little boy.
“You work at the hospital by night and babysit by day?” I arched my brow, waiting for her answer, but I think I already knew it. Her behavior and all the comments she’d made suddenly made sense.
“No,” she said, crouching down on the floor near the little boy. She peeked around him and he giggled when he saw her. “Ethan is mine.” For a few seconds, she didn’t even look back at me, only looking at the little guy. He stepped back toward her, leaning into her shoulder. He still held the earbuds to his ears.
“Don’t tell me you’ve got him listening to something that is gonna warp his little mind.”
“Well, it sure isn’t nursery rhymes,” I said with a smirk and she finally looked back at me, curiosity in her eyes. “It’s country.”
“Better than rap, or hard rock, ya know the ones with cuss words being the majority of what you hear.”
I only nodded, watching her closely. I’d never in a million years would have thought this was what made her so closed off. “Anyway, I’m sorry he bothered you.”
“He’s not bothering me,” I assured her.
She remained where she was, kneeled at Ethan’s side, staring up at me while I stared right back. Neither of us said a word, only me analyzing the news and her, I guess, waiting for the right time to sneak away.
Emelie was a mother. She had a kid.
I truly couldn’t register how I felt about that. Well, okay the first thing that was running through my mind was, where was the dad?
“Okay, buddy.” Emelie moved one of the earbuds away from her son’s ears. “We should leave this man alone and go back to play with your trucks.” When she attempted to take away the second ear bud, the kid freaked out. “Ethan, stop.” She looked up at me, embarrassment in her expression. “He doesn’t quite get the whole “no” thing yet.”
“It’s okay.” I was finally able to speak, though my voice sounded a little hoarse. “He can keep listening.”
“No really, it’s—”
“Em…” She gave me a defeated look. “He can listen, honestly it’s not a big deal.” I co
uld almost see the wheels turning inside her head. “At this point, I think the only way you’re gonna make it out of here without him going postal is to let him jam out.” This gained a smile and I couldn’t help the one I returned.
When she handed the ear bud back to him, I figured he’d just stand there holding them to his ears, but I was wrong. He moved closer and placed his hand on my knee as he attempted to climb up into my lap.
“Ethan, no.” Emelie stood and moved toward me too. By this point, his little body was laying across my leg as he wiggled around, attempting to get higher. Emelie hooked her arm around his waist and began to lift, but I stopped her.
“He’s okay,” I said, our faces less than a foot apart. Her eyes locked on mine and I saw her throat bob as she swallowed hard. “I don’t mind.” I didn’t have any hatred toward kids; hell, I liked kids.
“I don’t want you to feel obligated.” Her shoulders sagged, and I saw a sadness in her eyes that I didn’t much like.
I reached out to touch her shoulder, and she looked back toward her son who was now firmly planted in my lap. “I don’t feel obligated. He’s a cute kid, Em. I mean it, I don’t mind at all. In fact, he could actually make this whole trip to the laundromat bearable.”
“But, I’m on the other side.” She stood tall, crossing her arms over her chest and staring down at her son.
“No problem,” I said. “We’ll be all right, won’t we, Ethan?” I secured my arm around his back and positioned him so that he was tucked in the crook of my arm. “If we need ya, this place isn’t that big.”
She continued to watch her son and I gave her a few seconds to battle out whatever war she had going on in her mind.
“I’m not gonna run off with him or teach him all my bad habits the minute you walk away.”
“I know that.” She looked up at me and that same damned sadness lingered in her eyes. Fuck, it was like a kick in the stomach, and I didn’t enjoy it much. Whatever or whomever it was that put that look on her face was on my shit list for sure.
“You could always hang out here too,” I offered, and I saw the first trace of a smile.
“Let me go check on my clothes.”
She hurried off, but just before she turned the corner, she paused and looked back once more, looking between Ethan and me before she disappeared.
Chapter Five
Emelie
Me: He’s here!
Palmer: Who is he? And he is where?
Me: He is Clayton, ER guy, and where is the laundromat. As in the same place I am and the same place Ethan is.
Palmer: And?
Me: And Ethan managed to wander off and who do you think he found? Not just that, he stole his earbuds, and I found them sharing them as they were listening to music. Now, my son is safely tucked into Clayton’s lap as they again listen to music. Together!
Palmer: Aww
Me: ??
Me: THAT’S IT!!!
Palmer: How sweet
Me: You are not helping.
Suddenly my phone was vibrating in my hands with an incoming call from Palmer. “Yes,” I said in a hushed whisper as I looked over the washers and spotted Clayton holding Ethan as he swayed from side to side, as if grooving to whatever song played.
“What are they doing?” she asked, and I felt my chest ache with the sight before me.
“They’re dancing.” The words seemed to burn my throat.
“Are you kidding me?” I could almost see Palmer with that awed look on her face. It mirrored what I was now feeling. “I wanna see.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” she barked. “Show me or I’ll come down there and see it in person.”
“You are such a brat,” I said as I pulled the phone from my ear and switched to video chat. I turned the camera and suddenly it was filled with Clayton and Ethan.
“Oh, my hell,” Palmer whispered, and I turned down the speaker low. “That has got to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen, Em. Not to mention my ovaries are pulsating from the sight. My lord, woman, he is a hunk.”
I lowered the phone and turned off the camera, changing it back to a normal phone call. “What are the chances that I end up here at the same time as him? And that Ethan wandered right up to him, of all people?”
“Fate.”
“Knock it off with the fate shit.” It was my turn to bark at her. “I’m being serious, Palmer, this is bad.”
“Why is it so bad? He likes kids, your kid to be exact, and he likes you.”
“You are not helping,” I said, almost in a plea.
“You want my help, fine,” she said, and suddenly I felt confident until she spoke again. “Stop being a wuss, stop hiding behind the damn washers, and go join them. For once, stop analyzing every damn second and instead enjoy the moment.”
I heard a click and pulled the phone from my ear, only to find she’d ended the call.
“What the hell?” I mumbled to myself.
I took in a deep breath and looked back toward Clayton and Ethan, unable to hold back my smile. Ethan had his head tilted back, looking up at Clayton. Clayton’s mouth was moving, his head shifting around, I imagined to the beat of the music, and I swear my knees almost buckled beneath me. Was he actually singing to my son?
Tears sprung to my eyes and for a moment, I couldn’t register how to take my next breath. Before the moment passed, I lifted my phone once more and hit the camera, snapping a couple of pictures. I felt like some type of creeper but I didn’t care.
I tucked my phone back in my pocket, and picked up my bag that contained all Ethan’s and my things. I hurried to gather my dry clothes into the large, rolling basket and moved in the direction of my son. As I got closer, I could hear Clayton’s soothing voice and I swear, in that second, my heart melted. I paused in the center of the aisle, my hands resting on the basket, I think more to hold myself upright than anything else.
Just then, Clayton looked up and saw me standing there. I’m sure I had a lost expression on my face. I saw his lips move, saying the word “mommy” just before Ethan looked toward me too. Both of them smiled back at me, and I found that my chest heaved as I did my very best to hold myself together.
With one foot in front of the other, I began to walk in their direction, forcing a smile. “You boys look like you’re grooving along nicely.”
“Just introducing little man to my favorite tunes.” I arched my brow and Clayton chuckled. “Hey bud, let Momma hear.” He pulled the earbud from his ear and passed it to me. I took it, kneeling and lifting it to my ear. I attempted to swallow past the lump that formed in my throat.
The tone was mellow, not the kind that made your ears hurt, it was soothing. It wasn’t what I had pictured when I thought of Clayton, not even close. When Ethan started to move his head from side to side, much like I’d seen the two of them do a few minutes ago, I joined him without a second thought. He giggled loudly and reached out to touch my cheek, and I leaned in closer to his touch. Of course, this only brought me even closer to Clayton and closer to his piercing eyes.
“What do you think, am I a bad influence?” The question was a loaded one and I wasn’t sure if he meant was he bad for me or my son.
“I’m still trying to decide,” I told him, trying to keep a straight face, only the moment he flashed that boyish grin of his I couldn’t fight it. “I imagine that grin gets you a lot of attention.”
“Are you trying to say, Emelie, that you like my grin?”
“I’m not answering that.” I stood once more and moved toward the table at his side, folding laundry and ignoring the way he watched me from the side. I was careful to keep my undergarments hidden as I didn’t need comments about my less than sexy panties and mismatching bras. Those weren’t a necessity; diapers were.
“Mommy can’t admit that I’m not such a bad guy, Ethan.” I heard him talking to my son, though he was talking much louder than he needed to. “She thought I was such a self-centered frat boy, but I think she’s st
arting to realize I’m not. Maybe you can help a fellow guy out here and later when you two are alone, put in a good word for me. What do ya think, bud, can you do that?”
I looked over just as Clayton leaned in closer to Ethan with his fist out and grabbed his little fist, bumping them together. “Thanks, little dude.” Ethan looked up at Clayton, completely oblivious to what he was saying to him or even what it meant.
Then Ethan did something that almost broke me. He reached up and touched Clayton’s cheek much like he did mine and Palmer’s, then he giggled. My chest heaved, my heart raced, and I felt like I would literally burst from the emotions. My hands shook as I continued to fold one item after the next.
When folding was done and I had nothing left to do with my hands, I dug through my bag to find the snacks I’d brought to keep Ethan happy. Teddy Grahams, fruit gummies, and a juice.
I took in a deep breath, bit the bullet, and sat down at Clayton’s side. Trying to ignore the way his arm pressed against mine was hard considering he only managed to lean in closer when he noticed me next to him. And when I say he leaned in closer, I don’t mean just his shoulder. He turned toward me, letting his head tilt my way. I swear each breath he took echoed in my mind.
“Ethan,” I said, holding a tiny bear between my fingers. “Buddy, are you hungry?” I was practically begging my son to pay attention to me and stop idolizing the man who held him.
I held the bear closer and kind of shook it in between him and Clayton where he was still staring. Please just eat the thing and give us all something new to focus on.
“Ethan,” I said his name once more, and before I could register what was happening, Clayton wrapped his lips around the tips of my fingers and consumed the teddy graham. “Num num,” he said to Ethan, yet he was looking at me. “That’s yummy.”
Again I felt my body grow weak, only this time for an entirely different reason.
