by Ward, Alice
“I went through those yearbooks you mentioned. The one from Cole’s senior year had a long love letter from Marci tucked inside. I did a little research online and learned that she’d recently gotten a divorce and moved to the area.”
“So did you just call her up and ask her to drop by?” I asked.
James shook his head. “Not exactly… I put together an email about the new trail rides, and I sent it out to a huge group of people. I figured if Marci had any lingering feelings for Cole, she’d show up after reading about the ranch. It was pretty clear by the look on her face that she wasn’t really interested in buying trail horses.” He paused and glanced over at me. “You haven’t answered my question. Are you pissed at me?”
I moved a strand of hair away from my eyes and stared out the window at the sunset. “I don’t know… your mom running into Clark was one thing. But this seems so… manipulative and deceptive. They were already fighting. Emailing Marci may have crossed the line.”
“I sent the email long before we left for Kentucky, Willow,” James told me. “And after what happened in Kentucky, I’m sure it was the right thing to do.”
I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘after what happened in Kentucky’?”
“After that piece of shit put his hands on you and kissed you right in front of me,” James fumed. “Do you know what I realized when I saw him do that?”
“That Bradley is an asshole?” I suggested.
The corner of his mouth turned up, but he shook his head. “No, I already knew he was an asshole. When he kissed you, I realized that if our parents get married, I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life watching someone else kiss you. And I’ll have to stand idly by as your doting stepbrother. If they get married, Willow, it will be the end for us.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “Are you sure about that? Maybe it would all work out… maybe we could all be happy. I’m sure we’re not the first people to fall for each other after their parents got together.”
James shook his head. “It would never work. People like to pretend that they’re accepting and nonjudgmental, but that’s almost always a façade. They’d be nice to our face and rally against us at their weekly church potluck. If you don’t believe me, ask Matt. I’m sure he gets that kind of treatment all the time.”
I sighed, knowing that James was right. Once we were family, a huge stigma would shroud our relationship.
“I wish you could scoot over next to me, like you did on the way home from Sterling,” James said softly.
I glanced around and saw that Matt was the only other person on the road. “Just till we get to town,” I said. I unbuckled my seatbelt and moved to the middle of the seat. James wrapped his arm around me, and we flew down the highway in content silence.
***
When we walked into O’Brian’s, Lucas spotted us from his booth. He jumped to his feet and rushed over to greet us.
“Willow, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” he said, wrapping me in a hug. “I was so excited when Matt called and told me you guys were joining us tonight.” Lucas pulled away from me and kissed Matt hello. They made an adorable couple. Lucas was tall and broad, with brunette curls and clear green eyes. His complexion was darker than Matt’s, but I knew that was probably because he spent more time in the sun.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Lucas,” I told him. “Thanks for letting us butt in on your date.”
“My pleasure,” he said, leading us to the booth. He and Matt slid in on one side, James and I took the other. “Congratulations on your big win this weekend. I’d love to come out and see the horses someday.”
“Anytime,” I told him with a smile.
O’Brian’s wasn’t really a restaurant, but more of a bar that served really good food. A waitress arrived at the table and we all ordered draft beer and cheeseburger plates.
Lucas looked at James and smiled. “I heard you had quite an eventful weekend yourself. How’s the hand?”
“It’s still sore,” James confessed. “But it was worth it to see that bastard hit the ground.”
Lucas laughed. “You had a pretty satisfied look on your face in that video.”
James cringed. “Has everyone in town seen that damned video?”
“Oh honey, I’m sure everyone in the country has watched it by now,” Lucas teased. The waitress delivered our beers and James took a long drink from his glass.
“I’m glad the cameras caught it on tape,” Matt said. “Now everyone knows what a creep Bradley Miller is. I still can’t believe we ever thought he was a nice guy.”
The guys talked about the Derby and I zoned out of the conversation. I felt an odd sensation that I was being watched and quietly surveyed the room. It was quickly clear that I didn’t have one set of eyes on me, but several. Every woman in the bar seemed fascinated and envious that I was sitting next to James Parker.
With the way I look right now, they have every right to wonder what he’s doing with me…
James seemed oblivious to the stares. I didn’t know if he was ignoring the women on purpose, or if he was so used to the attention it didn’t even register anymore. I sat up straight and turned back to my friends, just as the waitress delivered our food to the table.
“Oh my God, this looks so good,” Matt said, covering his fries with ketchup.
I looked down at my greasy cheeseburger and fries and realized that I hadn’t had anything to eat all day. I dug into my plate and the table was silent as everyone else did the same.
“So Willow,” Lucas said after swallowing a mouthful of fries. “James here tells me that he’s not going to rodeo anymore. Do I have you to blame for that?”
I choked on a bite of burger and washed it down with a sip of beer. I cleared my throat and turned to James. “You’re quitting the rodeos?”
“My bad.” Lucas blushed. “I guess it wasn’t your idea.”
“I never said I was quitting,” James corrected him. He looked down at his plate and pushed ketchup around with a burnt French fry. “I just said that I want to stick close to home, for the time being.”
“Well if you’re not giving them up, why don’t you ride with me in Denver next week?” Lucas asked. “I’m sure we’d walk away with the team roping buckle. Willow and Matt can come watch, and then we can all go out on the town. It’ll be like a double date that lasts all weekend.”
If I’d had anything in my mouth, I’d have choked again. Panic raced in my chest and I looked back and forth from Matt to James.
One of them told Lucas about James and me… but which one? Surely Matt knows better, the things I talk to him about are private. But why would James have confided in him?
Lucas seemed to read my mind. “Relax, Willow. Yes, I know about you and James. Believe it or not, I figured it out for myself that night you showed up to the rodeo in Aztec. I’ve never seen James shake a woman as fast as he got rid of Katelyn that night. I asked him about it and he told me how he feels about you.”
Relief flooded my body.
James was talking about me… he actually told someone else about his feelings…
“James also explained the problem with your parents,” Lucas continued. “Personally, I think you’re overreacting.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really? I keep going back and forth about it. On one hand, it’s not like we’d suddenly become blood relatives. But on the other, I think James has a point. There will be a lot of people who think our relationship is… incestuous,” I spat out the dirty word. James tensed next to me, and I wished I’d just kept my mouth shut.
Matt nodded. “Judgmental people will find fault with you, no matter what,” he agreed. “You shouldn’t live your life to make them happy. You’ll never succeed.”
“This handsome man of mine is right,” Lucas agreed. “If we were worried about other people’s opinions, we wouldn’t be here right now. I say love who you love, and everyone else can go fuck themselves.”
Matt nodd
ed, but James tensed his shoulders. “It’s not that simple, Lucas,” he argued. “Willow is right. If our parents get married and we continue seeing each other, people will call it incest whether the name fits or not. And that kind of talk could ruin Willow’s career, not to mention our family. I’m not sure that Mom and Cole would ever accept us, much less anyone else. They expect us to be a family, not a sex scandal.”
Is that true? Would Daddy be furious at the idea of James and me together? In all of this time, I’ve never once thought about that.
“Well, for what it’s worth, you have our support,” Lucas said, taking Matt’s hand in his.
Matt gave me a look that told me he was thinking about Marci’s arrival at the barn. “Who knows?” he added. “Maybe fate will step in and the engagement won’t be an issue anymore.”
Lucas didn’t pick up on his sarcasm while James and I ignored it. James turned the conversation to roping and gave Lucas a play by play of wrangling Locomotion while I stared down at my beer and wondered what we’d find when we returned home.
CHAPTER 7
The ranch was dark when we got home that night. James dropped me off at the main house and I crept inside, careful not to make any noise. I took a long, hot shower and then burrowed under my blankets for a long, surprisingly restful night. I woke up the next morning to the aromas of coffee and bacon.
I pulled a sports bra on under my t-shirt and padded barefoot into the kitchen. Renee was at the stove, flipping pancakes.
“Good morning, Willow,” she said in her sing-song voice. “I’m glad you’re up, I was just about to wake you. We’re having a family breakfast this morning. Your dad just left to get James; they should be here shortly.”
I was surprised by her cheerful mood and wondered what was going on. “The bacon smells great,” I said as I poured a cup of coffee. I carried it to the table and sat down.
“Thank you, dear,” Renee replied. She cracked eggs into a glass mixing bowl and whisked in cream and spices. She poured the mixture into a sizzling skillet and tossed in tomatoes and peppers. She moved without looking at me, and my stomach tightened with nerves.
She doesn’t seem herself… what in the world happened while we were gone last night?
I heard the front door open and a few moments later, Daddy and James stepped into the room. James pulled out a chair next to me while Daddy walked to the stove and wrapped his arms around Renee.
“This all looks wonderful, darling,” he told her.
Renee thanked him and dumped the eggs out onto a serving platter. James took the pitcher of orange juice from the middle of the table and poured himself a glass while Renee and Daddy carried in the platters of food. I stabbed a pancake with my fork and Daddy cleared his throat.
“Kids, there’s something we need to talk about before we eat,” he announced. He took Renee’s hand and turned to us with a frown. I let my fork fall to my plate and fidgeted with my t-shirt under the table.
“What is it, Daddy?” I asked, doing my best to sound innocent. James sat rigidly next to me, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
“It’s been brought to our attention that the two of you have been doing a little… scheming, for lack of a better word,” he said. “Honestly kids, did you think we wouldn’t figure out you were behind all of this?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking abo…”
“Save it, Willow,” Daddy said sternly. His jaw was set and his eyes were sad.
Renee looked at James with narrowed eyes. “Marci showed us that email you sent her. That was a great marketing idea, but her email address wasn’t in Cole’s business contacts. I had my suspicions after your grandparents showed up unannounced, but seeing that email cleared out any doubt.”
James’s face turned red and he looked down at the table. “I just thought…”
“I don’t want to hear what you thought,” Renee cut him off sharply.
Daddy nodded. “Look kids, we know this must be incredibly difficult for you. In your minds, Renee and I are together because you both lost someone. And that’s the truth. If Rose or Gus were still alive, we wouldn’t be here. But Renee and I lost them too, and we’ve lived with our losses for a long time. We have a chance to be happy, and we’re going to take it. And in the future, we’d like for you to talk to us about your feelings instead of plotting behind our backs.”
Renee nodded. “I’ve made a family counseling appointment with Reverend Hawthorne and his wife. I think it will do us all good to sit down and get everything out in the open.”
I shot a glance to James.
Yeah, I’m sure the good reverend would love to hear all about our fucked up little family. I hate this...
“Is there anything you’d like to say for yourselves?” Daddy asked.
I shook my head and looked down at the table, blushing with shame. “Just… I’m sorry, Daddy,” I sighed.
“Thank you, pumpkin,” he accepted. “But I’m not the only one at the table you owe an apology to.”
“I’m sorry, Renee,” I added halfheartedly.
“I accept your apology,” she told me. She turned to James and he shifted in his seat.
“I’m sorry, Mom, Cole. You were right. Your engagement brought up a lot of emotions for Willow and me, and we didn’t handle them very well. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“Thank you, James,” Daddy told him. “We accept your apology. Now, let me tell you how you’re going to make it up to us.”
I looked up nervously while Renee looped her arm through Daddy’s.
“We’ve set a date for the wedding,” Daddy announced. “We’re going to have it on the last Saturday in June.”
“But Daddy, that’s less than two months away,” I argued.
“Yes, but we don’t see the point in waiting any longer,” Renee explained.
Daddy nodded. “Renee has her heart set on having the ceremony up on Eagle Point. Dallas and I will widen the trail so we can take our guests up in the wagons. I’m counting on the two of you to get the place cleaned up and ready for the ceremony.”
It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew we didn’t have a choice. “We can do that,” I agreed. James nodded silently beside me and I reached for his hand under the table. He pulled away from me and I wondered if we’d ever touch again, or if Daddy and Renee’s love story had just put an end to ours.
***
“Where the fuck are these supposed to go?” James growled as he pulled a petunia plant from its plastic container.
I glanced at him over my shoulder and then rose to my feet. “They’re supposed to go white, peach, pink,” I explained, taking the root ball from his hands. “I’ll do this if you’ll dig the holes for the lavender.” James stomped away and grabbed a shovel.
It was Wednesday afternoon and James and I were on Eagle Point, planting flowers for the wedding. Renee thought cut flower arrangements were a ‘waste of nature’, so James and I were stuck landscaping the great outdoors.
Eagle Point was one of my favorite spots on our land. It was a beautiful, grassy plateau surrounded by sandstone bluffs and lush vegetation. It was also the perfect spot to watch the eagles, who nested across the ravine.
“You know, this is going to look really great when it’s done,” I said as I stuffed the roots into the loose earth. “It’s so beautiful up here. It’s going to be a lovely wedding.” I was trying to be positive, but James wouldn’t have it.
“I don’t know how you can act so happy about this,” he snapped.
I stood up and turned to him. “I’m just trying to make the best of a bad situation,” I told him. I brushed my hands off on my jeans and reached for my water bottle. “They’re getting married. There’s nothing we can do about it. You’re the one who insists that’s a deal breaker for us,” I reminded him. “I don’t know why you’re being so hateful.”
James tossed down the shovel and shoved a lavender plant into the fresh hole. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat and he wiped h
is brow with a blue bandana. “I’m frustrated, Willow,” he told me. “It’s hard for me, spending time with you and knowing I can never have you.”
I took a long drink of my water and sat down on the picnic blanket. “I’ve told you, I don’t think the wedding has to mean the end for us,” I said patiently. We’d been having the same argument for days and I refused to back down.
“I won enough money in Kentucky to build my house,” I continued. “I have a contractor coming out next week to look at the lot. I’ll live on one side of the ranch, you’ll be on the other. We could date like normal people. The fact that our parents are married doesn’t have to stop us. Even Matt and Lucas agree with me, and you said they’d understand where you’re coming from.”
James pulled his wet t-shirt over his head and sat down across from me on the blanket. He pulled a towel from his backpack and dried off his chest. “You’re being naïve, Willow,” he told me. He grabbed a bottle of water and stared off at the horizon, unable to look me in the eye.
“Then enlighten me,” I pressed. “Because so far, you haven’t given me a good enough reason to call things off between us.”
James chugged the water and crushed the empty bottle in his fist. “Damn it, Willow. I’m trying to be the good guy here. It’s unfamiliar territory, but I’m doing the best I can. You’ve worked your whole life to get to where you are in your career. All of your dreams are coming true. You’re breeding program is drawing attention from all around the country, and the horses still have two more races to run. Do you want to go to Preakness and have everyone whisper and stare at us? I won’t cause a scandal that could ruin your career. Not when it’s just taking off.” He tossed the bottle towards the ATV and stared off into the distance.
He’s not going to give on this. He thinks he’s doing the right thing… arguing isn’t going to get me anywhere. I need to switch up my tactics.
I stared at him for a while, trying to figure out a new approach. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care about my dreams, that my career didn’t matter if I didn’t have him by my side. Instead, I let out a long sigh and told James he was right.
