The Swallow and the Hummingbird

by Santa Montefiore

  Slowly, she stood up. Her legs were weak and trembling, but they carried her forward to the brink of the cliff. She held the umbrella in her hands until the wind blew it away. She didn’t watch it crash down the rocks and disappear onto the beach below. She let it go willingly and simply stared out ahead as if in a trance. She saw a lone gull riding the gale and slowly extended her arms. She wished that she could fly like a gull. What tremendous freedom birds had. To swoop and dive at will. To ride the breeze high above the earth. If she were in the clouds the earth wouldn’t hurt her. She’d be too far away to care. Detached and blissfully unaware of the minute detail of daily life. She’d see the green of the fields and the blue of the sea and the beauty of the forests and rivers, but not the ugliness of rejection and the hopelessness of the human struggle. What good was love? What a fool she had been to believe in it.

  She shuffled closer to the edge of the cliff. She didn’t look down. She looked out ahead at the solitary gull that still glided on the wind. A ray of light penetrated the thick cloud and seemed to catch the tips of his wings, igniting them like candles. To Rita heaven now opened up to her, promising her eternal flight and relief from devastation. She let the gale take her arms and lift them. Up and down, up and down, just like a bird. They felt weightless like wings, detached, as if they were no longer in her control. She closed her eyes and felt the gentle rain on her face and the comfort of the dark. The wind blew her hair across her cheeks and lips and she threw her head back, ready to let it take her to heaven. To peace and silence and oblivion.

  Just then two arms grabbed her roughly around the waist and wrenched her back. Shaken from the tranquillity of imminent death she screamed and fell to the ground with a painful thud. Blind with shock and fury she began to wrestle with the stranger who had stolen from her grasp the only escape available to her. They rolled around on the grass, panting like dogs. She clawed at his face, at his hair, at his clothes, at anything that would release her from his clutches so that she could make one final run for freedom. She howled her torment into the freezing air. A strange howl, more animal than human. The clouds closed on the ray of light and the gull disappeared into the mist. Finally, being bigger and far stronger than she, her assailant managed to pin her to the ground. She blinked up at him and when her sight returned she saw Harry Weaver’s strained, scratched features looming over her. He was struggling for breath and wet from sweat and mud, and covered in blood.

  ‘My God, Rita!’ he gasped in horror. ‘What are you doing?’ The sound of his voice penetrated her numb senses and she suddenly realized how close she had come to ending her life. She began to shake uncontrollably.

  ‘George . . .’ she wailed in a high-pitched voice that didn’t sound at all like hers. ‘George . . .’ She was unable to get the words out. She tried to inhale but her throat and chest were now so tight with panic she could barely breathe. Harry pulled her into a sitting position and pushed her head between her knees.

  ‘Come on, there’s a good girl. Calm down. You’re all right,’ Harry encouraged gently and slowly her airways cleared.

  ‘George doesn’t love me any more,’ she burst out the moment she was able to speak. Harry drew her into his arms and she sobbed into his soggy coat.

  ‘I’m so sorry. Poor you. You’ll be all right, I promise.’

  But Rita knew she would never be all right. She had just stepped through the door to hell and only George could pull her back.

  Bray Cove was only a short distance away. Harry helped her walk by supporting her around the waist with his arm. In the other hand he held the umbrella that had practically knocked him out while watching gulls on the beach below. He had sensed something was wrong and ran as fast as he could to the top. Rita had been only moments from falling. Her arms outstretched, her head back, her neck as white as death, she had been a frightening sight. What had she been thinking of? No man is worth dying for.

  Back at his cottage he ran a hot bath and left her in his room to warm up. She was soaked through. He offered her his dressing gown until her mother arrived with dry clothes. He put the kettle on the stove, then telephoned Hannah. Hannah telephoned Humphrey at the office and commanded him to come home at once. Rita had tried to commit suicide. Eddie was at school, but Maddie was upstairs applying makeup ready for Harry Weaver.

  ‘Maddie!’ shouted her mother. ‘We’re off to Bray Cove now!’ Maddie recognized the urgency in her voice and appeared at the kitchen door almost before Hannah had finished the sentence.

  ‘What’s happened?’ she demanded, terrified that something had happened to Harry.

  ‘Rita tried to throw herself off the cliff.’ Maddie’s face blanched with horror. ‘Apparently George’s letter broke off the engagement. He doesn’t love her any more. Harry saved her life.’

  ‘Oh, Harry’s such a hero!’ Maddie gushed, her voice heavy with admiration.

  ‘We owe him everything,’ said her mother, striding into the rain.

  At last, thought Maddie happily, they’re so grateful they’ll give me to Harry as a prize.

  Hannah arrived to find Rita sitting hunched in Harry’s dressing gown in front of the fire. She looked painfully thin and fragile. ‘My dear child!’ her mother whispered, for she was almost too moved to speak. She rushed to her side and Rita dissolved into her arms, crying all over again.

  ‘We are so grateful to you, Harry,’ said Maddie, following him into the kitchen. ‘What happened?’ Harry was only too happy to talk to Maddie. He felt Hannah and Rita needed time alone together.

  ‘What did George say?’ Hannah asked, her heart buckling at the sight of her broken child. Rita drew the letter from the pocket of Harry’s dressing gown and handed it to her. With a heavy sigh Hannah squinted to read what he had written. Then she closed it and handed it back.

  ‘I just don’t understand it,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘How could he let you down like this, after all those years of waiting?’ She pushed Rita’s dripping hair off her forehead then caressed her cheek with tenderness. ‘What happened up there on the cliff?’

  Rita’s eyes welled with tears. ‘I wanted to die,’ she said and her voice cracked.

  ‘Oh, my dear child. Nothing ever is worth dying for. You’ll pull through this.’

  ‘I don’t think I can.’

  ‘Of course you don’t. Not now. But later, when you get over the initial shock of it, you’ll begin to heal. We’ll help you. Your father and I, Maddie and Eddie. We love you and we’ll look after you.’ Rita stared into the fire.

  ‘George was all I wanted,’ she said. ‘I never wanted more than that. I would have waited decades for him. When did he stop loving me?’

  ‘It’s a mystery to me. He seemed so in love when he left for Argentina,’ said Hannah angrily. She wanted to kill him for hurting her child.

  ‘I should have known. I should have realized when he told me he wanted to go away again. As Aunt Antoinette said, if he really loved me he wouldn’t have left me, would he? I think he stopped loving me during the summer. I felt him pulling away but I didn’t want to face it. A life apart was so unthinkable. I couldn’t bear to even imagine it. I pretended it wasn’t happening. Do you think he left to get away from me?’

  ‘Of course not. Absolutely not. No,’ said Hannah firmly. ‘He wanted to get away from Frognal Point. Not from you. I should imagine he doesn’t really know what he wants. The responsibility of asking you to wait for him probably weighed too heavily on his conscience. He must have thought it better for you to let you go.’

  ‘You don’t think he’s met someone else?’ Rita asked, her eyes darkening with anxiety.

  ‘He’s only been out there a few months. I don’t think this has anything to do with another woman.’ Rita’s shoulders relaxed a little.

  ‘Maybe he’ll come back after a year as planned . . .’ she ventured hopefully.

  ‘Exactly. Who knows? Don’t give up, dear. But he’s a fool. A pretty girl like you! You’ll be snapped up by someone else in no time
at all.’

  ‘But I don’t want anyone else.’

  ‘Of course you don’t.’ Hannah patted her arm and raised her eyes to the window.

  The sound of a car drawing up outside alerted them to Humphrey. He strode into the hall, patted Harry appreciatively on the arm and asked to see Rita.

  ‘Good God, Rita, what were you thinking?’ he demanded, standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips. His face was ashen and the white tufts of hair around his ears glistened with raindrops.

  ‘It’s all right, Humphrey,’ interjected Hannah calmly. ‘We’ve talked about it. It was a mistake.’

  ‘A mistake? What if Harry hadn’t been there?’ he raged. ‘It’s a bit late for regrets once you’re dead!’

  ‘Harry was there,’ said Hannah with forced patience, glowering at her husband to pull himself together. ‘And Rita is fine. Let’s not blow this out of proportion.’ But she knew as well as he did how close they had come to losing their daughter.

  ‘You silly girl!’ he exclaimed, kneeling on the floor beside her chair. ‘You frightened the life out of me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Daddy.’

  ‘What were you thinking of?’ he repeated. ‘George isn’t bloody worth it. He’s quite clearly not the man we thought he was. You’re too bloody good for him!’

  ‘I agree,’ said Maddie, who was now standing in the doorway with Harry. ‘He doesn’t deserve you. Thank God for you, Harry! We owe you everything for saving Rita. Everything. We’ll never be able to do enough.’ Humphrey stood up.

  ‘Maddie’s right, Harry. Without you I hate to imagine what would have happened.’ Harry smiled diffidently and lowered his eyes.

  ‘It was nothing, really,’ he said bashfully. ‘Anyone would have done the same.’

  ‘Look at the scratches on his face,’ said Maddie, reaching out to touch them. The blood had now dried along with the mud but his hair was still wet and full of grass. He cradled a cup of tea in his hands, aware that they were still trembling. He could still see Rita balancing precariously on the edge of the cliff. ‘She must have fought like a wild cat,’ Maddie continued, running her fingers down his cheek. But Harry was uncomfortable with all this praise and attention.

  ‘She was just a frightened child,’ he mumbled, shrugging her off. Then Rita got to her feet.

  ‘I’ll go and change now,’ she said. ‘I want to go home.’ Then, as she passed Harry, she smiled weakly. ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you.’

  ‘Not at all,’ he replied, watching her shuffle out of the room. She didn’t know whether she was grateful to have been saved or not. Death had looked so inviting.

  Chapter 18

  Faye read George’s letter with a heavy heart. She had feared this would happen ever since that night on the terrace when she had suggested he go and work at Las Dos Vizcachas for a change of scene. She had hoped he would take Rita with him, but he had been struggling with his feelings for her even then, although he had been reluctant to admit it. Her first thoughts were for Rita. She knew she would be devastated. George was her future. She had waited patiently for so long. Faye was sad for herself too. She loved Rita like a daughter. How was this going to affect their relationship with Hannah and Humphrey?

  She sighed in resignation and decided to ring Hannah. Perhaps Rita had received George’s letter that morning too. With some trepidation she picked up the receiver and dialled Hannah’s number. She was quite relieved when no one answered. It was pouring with rain. Angry drops crashed against her windowpanes and the wind seemed to shake the very foundations of the house. She thought of Thadeus and longed for his advice but she had made a resolution a long time ago never to telephone him from home. It was disrespectful to Trees. She shivered with a sense of foreboding. It was unlike Hannah to be out in this weather. She wondered whether they were at Bray Cove with Harry Weaver and decided to try there. When Harry answered, his voice sounded strange, heavy and grim.

  ‘They left five minutes ago,’ he said, reluctant to divulge the terrible circumstances that had brought them to his house in the first place. Faye knew something wasn’t right. She felt it. Scrambling into a raincoat she hurried out into the storm. Trees had driven off in the truck; her only option was the car, which Trees only took out of the garage on special occasions. It was clean and smelt of polished leather. She was sure he would understand. It was an emergency.

  The rain was so torrential her windscreen wipers did little to improve her vision. She drove slowly, with great care, for the roads were narrow and winding and the fog dense. It took much longer than normal. She seemed to be driving for hours, her mind whirring with anxious thoughts. At least George was happy out there with Agatha and Jose Antonio. As well as his sad decision about Rita he had described his new life in Argentina with relish. For once she wasn’t worrying about him.

  Finally she turned into the driveway, the tyres of her car scrunching on the gravel. She emerged through the evergreens to park in front of the house. They had obviously just arrived for the windows of Humphrey’s car were misted with condensation. The lights were on in the hall and the heavy door to the porch was ajar. Faye took a deep breath and climbed out, her indoor shoes sinking into the wet stones. She opened the door to the hall, poking her head round nervously.

  ‘Hello?’ she called. ‘Is anyone at home?’ She crept in, shutting the door behind her. She could hear voices in the kitchen. ‘Hello, Hannah?’ The voices hushed as she walked up the corridor, then Hannah’s grey face appeared at the kitchen door.

  ‘Faye!’ she cried, blinking away tears.

  ‘Oh, Hannah. I’m so sorry,’ she gasped, embracing her friend. ‘How is Rita?’

  ‘She’s gone up to bed. She’s heartbroken.’

  ‘I can’t bear it.’ Faye shook her head, desperately guilty that it was her son who had caused such unhappiness.

  ‘Come in and have a cup of tea. We were just talking about it.’

  Humphrey was sitting on the rocking chair beside the stove, looking hollow eyed. Maddie was in his usual chair at the head of the table, hugging a steaming cup of Ovaltine. Faye was unable to sit down. She stood with her back to the wall, leaning against the sideboard where Hannah chopped vegetables. ‘I only heard myself this morning,’ she explained. ‘George said he had written to Rita so I assumed she received his letter today as well.’ Hannah poured Faye a cup of tea with an unsteady hand.

  ‘We’ve been at Bray Cove,’ she began in a thin voice. ‘Rita tried to throw herself off the cliff.’ Faye gasped and covered her mouth with her hand in horror.

  ‘Good God!’ she groaned. ‘What happened?’ Hannah handed her the cup, then sat down next to Maddie.

  ‘Harry saved her,’ said Maddie. ‘If it hadn’t been for him she’d be dead.’

  ‘I can’t bear to think about it,’ said Hannah. ‘It’s just too terrible.’

  ‘What was she doing on the cliff on a day like this?’ Faye asked, appalled that George’s rejection had driven her to such extremes. She knew Rita was a fragile girl, but had never thought her capable of suicide.

  ‘She took his letter to read at the spot where they always picnicked,’ Humphrey replied tonelessly, staring into his tumbler of whisky. ‘I don’t know what possessed her.’ He shook his head. ‘Rita’s a sensible girl. Bloody stupid thing to do. Scared the hell out of all of us.’ Faye lowered her eyes. Maddie continued the story.

  ‘Harry just happened to be on the beach below. When Rita dropped her umbrella it almost killed him. But he was clever enough to sense that something wasn’t right. So he ran as fast as he could up the path to find her swaying on the very edge. He said one gust of wind in the wrong direction and she would have fallen like a leaf.’

  Maddie relished the details of Harry’s heroism. Faye noticed that she looked incredibly rosy in the face compared to her parents. It seemed quite inappropriate that she should glow so beautifully in the midst of such unhappiness.

  ‘She’s sleeping now,’ said Hannah quietly. ‘I tu
cked her in with a cup of Ovaltine. She didn’t drink it though. She just put her head beneath the covers and hid from all of us. I think she needs to sleep off the shock. I don’t think she meant to kill herself. It was a cry for help and, thankfully, Harry was there to hear it.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Faye. ‘I feel utterly responsible.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, Faye,’ said Hannah. ‘This is between George and Rita. We can’t be responsible for the actions of our children.’

  ‘Let’s not let it come between us,’ Faye suggested hopefully, sipping her tea.

  ‘Of course we won’t,’ Hannah agreed. Humphrey remained silent, lost in the golden mirror of whisky that reflected his twisted features.

  ‘Rita is young, she’ll find someone else to love,’ said Maddie confidently. Hannah frowned at her flippant tone of voice.

  ‘I hardly think that thought will be much consolation to her at the moment,’ she replied sharply.

  Maddie stifled a yawn and wondered when she would be able to slip back to Bray Cove.

  ‘When Rita wakes up, will you ring me?’ said Faye. ‘I’d like to see her.’

  ‘Of course,’ Hannah replied, getting up to see her friend off.

  ‘In the meantime, if you need to talk you know where I am.’ But Faye knew she wouldn’t. Humphrey’s silence was loud and resentful. She embraced Hannah again but her body felt stiff and unyielding.

  Faye drove up the lane, but she didn’t take the road to Lower Farm. Instead she turned towards Thadeus’ house.