“What?” This time it was both she and Lucas who responded to Jarrett’s words.
Greg Anderson looked up at them over the top of his glasses. “Jarrett obviously had his reasons. It wasn’t my place to question what they were.”
“I can’t accept it,” Ellie said with a soft sob. “I don’t want his money. And the ranch belongs to Lucas.”
“I don’t need it,” Lucas said.
“And I don’t deserve it.”
“That can be decided upon later,” Greg said. “Let’s move on for now.”
Lucas, I need you to put the past behind you and come home for good. My son is going to need to have his uncle around to teach him the things I would have if I had been here to do it. And you could use a woman like Ellie in your life to teach you how to laugh again. I’m telling you, Lucas, being around her is like catching a falling star. She’ll make your life so much brighter when she’s in it.
Ellie shot up from the chair and crossed the room to stand at the window, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
Lucas came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her rounded waist. “He loved you, Ellie.”
“I know,” she sobbed. That’s what made what she was about to do so much harder.
“I have some paperwork that needs to be signed before everything is finalized,” Greg Anderson said. “Would you two like me to give you a moment alone before we get into that?”
“No,” Ellie blurted out. She couldn’t be alone with Lucas, not when she was so emotionally needy. All she could do at that moment was focus on what was best for her son and remain on that path. Pushing free of Lucas’s comforting embrace, she returned to the chair she’d been sitting in. “Let’s go on.”
Lucas settled back in his chair with a troubled sigh. He hadn’t been surprised by Ellie’s reaction to Jarrett’s letter. Her decision to give up her child, his brother’s child, had only been made harder by his brother’s words. By his deeply rooted faith in her. When Ellie had returned to her seat, he’d immediately sensed her emotional withdrawal from the situation and he was helpless to keep her from shutting down. Especially when he was having such a hard time himself coming to grips with the reality of it all.
His brother was gone and he would see to it that his brother’s last wishes were honored. With renewed determination, Lucas decided he would do whatever it took to convince Ellie to change her mind about the adoption. Even if that meant leading her to believe he was on her side when in truth he’d be working to bring her over to his way of thinking.
A half hour later, they were done. All the papers were signed. All legalities handled. And adoption options had been discussed.
Greg Anderson walked them to the door of his office. “I’ll get those adoptive parent profiles to you as soon as I can put them together. If either of you have any questions once you get home, feel free to give me a call.”
“We’ll do that,” Lucas said as he turned to help Ellie into her coat. Then he guided her outside. “How you holding up?” he asked as they walked out to the Jeep.
“I’ll survive.”
Because she’d always had to. He wanted to hold her. To comfort her. To tell her she wasn’t in this alone. But he held back, giving her the space he sensed she needed right then.
The letter Jarrett had written had taken them both by surprise. While his brother’s words had eased some of the guilt Lucas had harbored because of his growing feelings for Ellie, it appeared to have had the opposite effect on her. Maybe she just needed time to take everything in. Jarrett’s letter. The will. The information Greg had given them on private adoption.
He pulled up to the coffee shop and turned to her with a worried frown. “You sure you’re up to going in to work today?”
She nodded and reached for her purse. Then her gaze lifted to meet his. “I meant what I said about not wanting anything from your brother. I spent my entire childhood being a charity case and I refuse to become one ever again. Maybe it would be best if you went back to Brazil before the baby is born.”
Where had that come from? She’d agreed to let him be a part of the adoption process. He certainly couldn’t do that from Brazil. “My sticking around doesn’t have thing to do with charity. I’ve told you before I’m staying until your baby is born and that’s final.”
She looked away with a frustrated groan. “Your being here makes things so much harder for me.”
He couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. He came with a lot of emotional baggage. “I understand you’re not wanting me around−”
“What I wouldn’t give for that to be true,” she blurted out as she shouldered the passenger door open. “But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself stop wanting you in my life.”
The door slammed shut and Lucas sat watching her go, staring after her in shock.
*
Lucas raised his hand and knocked lightly on the closed bedroom door. “Ellie?”
No answer.
Maybe she was finally asleep. She had been exhausted when he’d picked her up from work that evening. Not surprising, considering the day she’d had. She’d gone straight to her room the moment they’d returned home. But he could have sworn he’d heard her crying. That was what had drawn him to her room.
With a sigh, he leaned forward, resting his brow on the closed door. When had he come to care so much about Ellie? Why did the thought of her lying in tears in her bed have him all twisted up in knots?
I can’t make myself stop wanting you in my life.
Darned if he didn’t want to be there, too.
The phone rang, making Lucas back away from the door and from his thoughts. He hurried into the kitchen to grab it before it woke Ellie.
A glance at the caller I.D. as he brought the phone to his ear said it was Blaine calling. “Hello?”
“How did things go today?”
“It was rough.”
“No doubt. How’s Ellie?”
“Not good.”
“I’m sure hearing Jarrett’s last wishes read had to be hard on her.”
He had no idea. But it wasn’t his place to tell Blaine what Ellie had decided to do in regards to the baby. “It was,” he said with a sigh.
“Then I guess she’s probably not up for an outing this weekend.”
“An outing?” An unexpected surge of jealousy shot through him. Blaine was asking her out? How could he? He was Jarrett’s best friend. And you were Jarrett’s brother and you kissed her, his own conscience reminded him.
“I don’t know if Ellie mentioned it or not, but Victoria’s back.”
“Your Victoria?” The one who had trampled his friend’s heart years before.
“Yes.”
“Well, that explains how the cows got out again at the Winters’ place,” Lucas said matter-of-factly.
“It wasn’t her doing this time,” Blaine said, coming to her defense, much to Lucas’s surprise. “Her son turned them loose.”
“Her son?”
“He’s not mine,” Blaine promptly stated before Lucas could jump to any conclusions. Then he went on to tell him what he’d learned, leaving no doubt in Lucas’s mind that his friend still had feelings for Victoria.
That summer he’d been certain there was nothing that could ever come between Blaine and Victoria. They were crazy stupid in love. So her actions when she left that summer made no sense. Now, he understood. Like Ellie, Victoria had made a difficult choice and had been forced to live with that decision every day of her life.
“Which is why I was hoping you and Ellie might be able to join us on Sunday,” Blaine said, bringing him back to the conversation. “I’d rather not be alone with Victoria.”
“Understandable.”
“But it doesn’t sound like Ellie’s going to be up for socializing.”
Victoria had a son she was raising on her own. Maybe, just maybe… “On the contrary, I think an outing might be just the thing Ellie needs.”
*
“Afternoo
n.”
Ellie turned from the table she was wiping off to see Blaine standing there. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I guessed as much. Everything okay? Dusty’s not giving you trouble again, is he?”
She pushed the salt and pepper shakers she’d just wiped off up against the wall next to the napkin dispenser. “No. I haven’t seen him since that day you walked him out of here.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“So what brings you in? You don’t usually drink coffee this late in the day.” It was nearly closing time.
“I got to thinking it might be too cold for you and Victoria to be standing around outside while we’re target shooting tomorrow. Even if we’re in the barn. Why don’t we order up some pizza and you two ladies can wait in the house for it to be delivered. Talk about whatever it is you females talk about.”
She studied him closely as he rambled on. Blaine was usually a look a person in the face kind of man, but he was looking everywhere else but. “So you’re offering us the warmth of your house to save us from the cold?”
He sighed. “That obvious, huh?”
“So what’s the real story?”
His gaze finally locked with hers. “I promised Victoria’s son we’d practice shooting at targets with our sling shots this weekend, only I hadn’t expected her to want to come along, too. That’s why I asked you and Lucas to join us.”
She nodded, a smile moving across her face. “So we can help keep you out of her evil clutches?”
“More like to protect me from doing anything stupid.”
“Like kissing her?”
His eyes widened. “If I even look like I’m considering it, shoot me.”
“I’d like to help you out, but I don’t own a gun.”
He dragged a hand back through his hair and paced the coffee shop aisle, as if trying to come up with another plan.
“Stop worrying. It’ll all work out. If only I could say the same for myself.”
He stopped pacing to look at her. “Here I am talking about my problems when you’ve had so much to deal with in your own life. Lucas said the appointment with Jarrett’s attorney was hard for you.”
“You have no idea.”
“I’m sure if Jarrett had any idea he wouldn’t be here, he would have made provisions for you and the baby. But he-”
“Thought to change his will,” she said. “I guess after what happened to Anna he wasn’t taking any chances. He left me financially set and willed me half the ranch.”
“Half?”
“Lucas owns the other half. But that doesn’t matter. I’m not taking any of it.”
“What do you mean you’re not taking any of it? You’re going to need that money for the baby.”
She glanced around the empty room and then walked over to lock the door. It was time she told Blaine about her decision and didn’t want anyone walking in on their conversation. Not that everyone else wouldn’t find out soon enough, but Blaine deserved to know what she intended to do before it became public knowledge.
She motioned to a table. “You might want to sit down.”
He did without question, but his expression was one of concern.
She took a seat across from him. Only this time she was the one not able to look him in the eye. “I’m giving the baby up for adoption.”
“You’re what?” he exclaimed, his words echoing through the empty room. “This is a joke, right?”
She wanted to answer, but the words clogged her throat. All she could do was shake her head and fight back the tears.
“Ellie,” he gasped. “How can you even consider giving your baby away?”
“I’m doing what’s best for my son.”
“Giving him up is what’s best for him?”
“Yes.”
“How do you figure that?”
She should have known she would have to bring up her past to make him understand. “I grew up in a broken home,” she explained. “I won’t do that to my son.”
“Is this about being a single parent? Because if it will make a difference in whether or not you keep the baby I’ll marry you.”
A tap at the door interrupted his unexpected proposal. Ellie looked up to find Lucas waving to them through the window pane of the locked door.
She stood and walked over to let him in, locking the door behind him once he’d stepped inside.
“You decided to close up early?” he noted, looking around. Then his gaze settled on Blaine’s deep cut frown. “What’s going on?”
“I just asked Ellie to marry me,” Blaine replied stiffly.
“You what?” Lucas said, swinging back around to pin her with his gaze.
“I told him about my decision to give up the baby.”
Blaine shot up from the chair. “You knew about this? I can’t believe you’d let her do this. That child is your own flesh and blood!”
“You think I don’t know that?” Lucas growled back. “And you’ll have to get in line with your proposal. I already asked Ellie to marry me.”
The sheriff’s eyes widened. “You did?”
Ellie stepped between them and threw up her hands. “It doesn’t matter who asked when. I’m not marrying either of you.” She paused to squeeze her eyes shut.
“She’s going to cry.” Lucas moved to wrap his arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the chair she’d been sitting in, easing her into it. “Give her a moment. She’ll be all right.” He turned back to Blaine. “And for your information I’ve tried my darnedest to talk her out of this, but she’s convinced herself she won’t be a good mother.”
Blaine muttered a curse a he dropped back down into the chair beside him. “And I thought I had problems.”
*
“Well, one down, the rest of the town to go,” Lucas said as they drove back to the ranch.
“I knew it wouldn’t be easy,” Ellie admitted, “but it was so hard, seeing the shock on Blaine’s face.”
“Multiply that by the rest of the town,” he felt the need to point out. “It’s only going to get harder.”
She nodded with a sigh. “I know.”
“What if people aren’t as forgiving as you hope? What if they stop coming to the coffee shop?”
The resulting silence told him she hadn’t considered that far ahead. Sure, she would have prepared herself for their surprise at her decision, but she had grown to love the people there and no doubt hoped they would understand. How could they when they didn’t know about her past? At least, not enough to gain their sympathy. Ellie wouldn’t want it that way which is why she kept her past secreted away. She welcomed no pity, not even from him.
“It’s a possibility,” he added. “For that reason alone, you need to accept the money Jarrett left for you.”
She looked over at him, her eyes wide. “How can you even suggest that, knowing what you do?”
Because I’m going to change your mind. “The will didn’t stipulate that you only get the money if you keep the baby.”
“Then I’ll have to accept their reasons for doing so and close my shop. It wouldn’t be the first time I had to move and start again.”
“Or you could marry me, keep the baby, and stay here where you are loved by one and all.”
“Every girl dreams of the day a man will fall in love with her and ask for her hand in marriage. I’ve now had four proposals, each one brought about by my pregnancy – not love.”
“That’s not true.”
“Jarrett only thought he loved me.”
“I’m not referring to my brother.”
He’d stunned her to silence.
“I’m not sure when it happened,” he continued, “but somewhere along the line I’ve fallen in love with you, Ellie.”
Hope flickered to life in her eyes, but disappeared just as quickly. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“It’s not me you love, it’s this child growing inside me. Don’t confuse the two and make things awkward between u
s. Please.”
Stubborn woman. But she was right. He hadn’t exactly gone about proposing in a very romantic fashion. Ellie had a way of making him say things without fully thinking them through, something he’d never done before meeting her. She made him crazy with her version of logical.
“So the answer is no – again,” she stated determinedly, pulling him from his thoughts. “Just as it was to Blaine.”
Already frustrated by her refusal to believe him, his expression darkened. “Speaking of Blaine, what was he thinking asking you to marry him?”
“The same thing you were. Trying to do the right thing – for the baby.”
He sighed. “How long are you going to keep doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Pretending there’s nothing more than friendship going on between the two of us when we both know there is.”
She turned to look out the passenger window. “There can’t be anything between us.”
He reached for her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb. “I care about you, Ellie.”
She kept her gaze pinned to the passenger window. No surprise there. Stubborn woman.
“I’m tired of trying to convince myself otherwise,” he continued. “When I heard Blaine had proposed to you I wanted to smash his nose with my fist.”
Her head snapped around at that. “You were jealous?”
Her surprise made him smile. “I’d be lying if I said otherwise.”
“Of Blaine?” she said as if trying to comprehend his reasoning.
“He’s spent a lot of time with you.”
“Not in that way. Besides, he’s still got a thing for Victoria.”
“Lucky for him,” he muttered.
“Lucas…”
His expression grew serious. “I mean it, Ellie. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make our situation work – for the baby’s sake.”
“For the baby’s sake?”
That wasn’t what he’d meant. Not exactly. Sure, he wanted what was best for the baby, but his idea of ‘best’ was him and Ellie together raising her son.
“This isn’t about the baby. It’s about us.”
“There is no us, Lucas. Never will be.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said as he pulled up to the house to let her out. “There is an ‘us’. You can fight it all you want, but I’m telling you right now I can out-stubborn you any day. You just watch me.” As she slid from the Jeep, he called after her, “Never say never, Ellie!”
LOVING ELLIE Page 16
