Gloria turned around and stomped into the house. I went to look. I remembered how, when I asked to say something nice about the bird, Rowan said, “No one’s listening.” But just in case, I made some wishes. I pulled off some of Chicken’s fur still stuck to the cement and blew it into the air. Dog fur was just as good as anything to wish on.
ROWAN
When I open my eyes, I can see pinpricks of yellow up above. Moonlight through the leaves. I blink, and the yellow is gone.
Carl?
Carl, are you there?
Will you let me explain?
I put my hands on the ground. I can hear him. I know he’s there. Somewhere close to me. Shuffling around. Grumbling. He is fixing the neat border of stones around his firepit. I can hear Girl, too.
Carl? I know you’re afraid.
I’m not a worker.
I just want to go home.
But I can’t see. It’s too dark.
I try to sit up. Bright shocks of pain rocket through my head, spill into my chest, my legs.
Are you listening?
There’s a lady that can help you. Help us. She will, I promise. My neighbor.
She can make things better. Mrs. Spooner. She’s nice. Really nice. And she’s smart too.
Pain pushes me deeper and deeper.
Carl?
Are you listening?
She can fix everything.
You won’t be in trouble.
Girl is barking and barking. She won’t stop.
Please. Please be listening to me.
I try not to cry.
I just want to go home.
I reach out my hands, but I can’t wipe away the darkness. It covers me and I gulp it down.
MAISY
Gloria was so upset about Telly she was wandering all over the house. She kept going up and down the stairs. I heard them creaking. She was talking to herself, too. “What am I going to do? What am I going to do?”
I sat up in bed and called out, “Gloria?” I hated when she was sad.
She was there in a second. “I thought you were asleep,” she said.
“I woke up.”
She put her hand on my forehead. “Not feeling well, I know.” Then she dug around in the pocket of her bathrobe and pulled out a green bottle and a spoon. She poured out a spoonful and I opened my mouth. “This will fix your head,” she said. “Vitamins and sleep medicine.”
I swallowed and sneezed.
“Try not to worry. Rowan’ll be home soon, darling. And Gloria’s going to make everything better with Telly.”
She smoothed my hair over and over and a warm feeling went in my arms and legs and up in my head.
When I woke up, it was morning and someone was knocking on our front door. They knocked and knocked but Gloria wasn’t answering. I got out of bed and went downstairs. Gloria was snoring in Telly’s chair. On the floor was a fork and plate with orange smears on it. I think it was from the rabbit stew Aunt Erma made.
“Gloria?”
“What’s happening?” She lifted up her head. Her neck made a lot of rolls. There was greasy stuff around her mouth.
“Someone’s at the door?”
“Is it Telly? Is he back?”
My chest hurt. I peeked through the glass. “No,” I said. “It’s Mrs. Spooner.”
Gloria got up from the chair and started going upstairs. “Tell her—tell her to go away,” she said in an angry way.
“I can’t,” I said.
“Well, just tell her whatever you want.”
More knocking, and I heard the bathroom door slam. I cracked open the door. Mrs. Spooner was holding a white dish with a glass lid on top. She put the dish in my arms.
“Sorry to make such a racket, but I was certain you were home. And I—I wanted to check on you.” She looked behind me, and then she got close and said, “Is everything okay, Maisy?” She still smelled like the squirt can in the bathroom.
I nodded.
“I mean, is everything all right in there?”
I didn’t know what she meant. Rowan hadn’t come out of his hiding spot. Gloria was sad and angry all the time. Telly told a whole lot of lies about coming home, and he was still living with that lady. “Everything’s good,” I said.
“Did you know I submitted Rowan’s work for a contest? He wrote about a boy spending a night in the woods.”
I remembered the THEIF sign. My face got hot. Those boys. It was from those boys that wouldn’t let him play. Gloria was upset about that too, them being mean to Rowan.
“I just received a letter this morning saying he won second prize.” She sounded cheerful, but her face looked like she stubbed her toe. “Won’t that be wonderful news to share when he returns? He’s such a special talent.”
I nodded. I looked at my feet.
“If you need to talk. About anything at all, darling, please come see me. You know where I live, and most afternoons I’m at the library.”
I got woozy in my head. My brain turned into clouds. I could hear Gloria stomping around upstairs.
“You best put that in the fridge,” she said. She pointed at the food. Then Mrs. Spooner turned around and walked up the driveway. The dish in my arms got heavier and heavier, but I watched until I couldn’t see her no more.
When I went inside, Gloria was coming down the stairs. She had on a polka-dot dress and her hair was combed neat. She was holding her purse.
“I just got to get out of the house, Bids. I got to do something.”
I shook my head.
“And I figured, my teeth are so gritty these days, I’m going to go in and get them cleaned.”
“At the dentist?” I said.
“No.” She looked at herself in the mirror. “I don’t got no cavities. I just need to see a hygienic person. I think that’s what they’re called.”
“Oh,” I said. I opened my mouth. My heart started going tak-tak-tak.
“Apparently there’s an excellent one just across from your father’s garage. Belinda’s lending me her car, so I won’t be late. I had no trouble getting an appointment. They don’t seem very busy.”
I swallowed. “Can I go to Shar’s?”
“Of course you can. Erma already invited you over,” she said. “You can play with Sharlene. And I don’t want you twiddling your thumbs while you’re there.” Gloria tied a rope to Chicken’s collar and then pushed open the screen door. “You can take him with you and snip the burrs out of his fur.”
“Okay,” I said.
“That’s my good girl. Go and get changed. Erma’ll give you breakfast.” I hurried and got out of my nightgown and into a sundress that was bunched up on the floor. Then Gloria walked me and Chicken over to Erma’s house. Shar was already gone swimming with Darrell because no one knew I was coming, not even Erma. Erma asked if I wanted to come in, but I stayed on the front porch. Gloria walked next door and got keys from Mrs. Murtry and drove away. I watched, but she forgot to wave. Aunt Erma gave me a grape Popsicle. “It’ll be okay, love,” she said. “Your mom needs to clear her head.”
She gave me tiny scissors to cut all the sticky burrs out of Chicken’s fur. Then Aunt Erma gave me a peanut butter sandwich. I waited and waited, and I took the metal bit from Carl out of my pocket and rolled it around in my fingers.
Shar and Darrell finally came home. They were wet and smelled like pond. Shar asked if I wanted to go to her bedroom and play dolls, but I said no because she always made the boy doll wiggle on top of the girl doll to grow babies. I stayed on the step with Chicken.
After a long time, I saw Mrs. Murtry’s car coming back into the circle. “She’s back,” I called out and Aunt Erma came to the door. She dropped her cigarette on the wood. Lines of smoke came off it. Gloria came up the stairs and Chicken wagged his tail.
“How was your drive?” Aunt Erma said.
“Good. I feel a little better.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
Gloria didn’t say nothing about going to get her teeth s
hined. Out near Telly’s garage.
“I don’t know, Erm,” Gloria said. “Maybe it was just doing something regular? Since Rowan’s been missing, I can’t keep hold to anything. One minute I’m angry. One minute I’m broken in two. I don’t fit in my own skin.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“I just keep telling myself,” she said. “He’ll be back any second.”
“And he will.”
Gloria wiped her eyes. “Thank you for watching Maisy.”
“Anything I can do to help. That girl’s no trouble. I’d trade her for Shar in a heartbeat.” Aunt Erma laughed, but it was a joking laugh, not a mean one.
We walked home. I held Chicken’s rope, and Gloria put her arm on my shoulder. “You know, Bids, I learned something important these past couple of months. There’s too many bad people in the world. People who’ll steal from you. Want to hurt you.”
My mouth turned dry.
“Ever since he took off, I’ve been so shaky. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault. Sometimes I don’t even think any of this is real. I miss him so much, Bids, I feel like someone tore my heart right out.”
Then she stopped talking. I heard her gulp air, and I looked up. There was a small blue car in our driveway. And someone was on our front porch, sitting in Gloria’s special chair. She had curly grey hair and round glasses and dark under her eyes. I never seen her before.
“What—what do you think you’re doing here?”
“It was on the news, Gloria.”
“What?”
“About Rowan. I saw you and Telly.” Then she smiled at me. “And you must be Maisy.”
I went behind Gloria.
“Well, you can turn around and go back where you came from.”
The woman stood up. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m your mother?”
When she said that, I had to grab onto the back of Gloria’s dress. I felt like someone cut a hole on top of my head and filled me up with cold water.
“Because I care about him, too? You don’t own him.”
“I damn well do own him. Until he’s eighteen, that boy belongs to me.”
The lady got up then. “I’m at the motel. I’ll be there until Rowan is found. And I want to see him, Gloria. And spend some time with Maisy. Too much time has passed. I should be allowed to do that.”
Then she got into her little blue car and drove away. Gloria unlocked the front door with a key.
“Was that Gran?” I whispered.
“It don’t matter, Maisy.”
“But I thought Gran was dead.”
“Dead to me. That’s all I ever said about her. She’s dead to me.”
Then Gloria went inside. I stayed out on the front step. I looked at Gloria’s chair where the dead-to-me Gran was sitting. I had a bad feeling in my middle, but I didn’t know what it was. It just sat on top of all the other bad feelings. I remember when the school nurse told me to think it was butterflies in there when my middle hurt. But butterflies were too pretty to live in the dark. I think there were spiders and ants and potato bugs and huge centipedes with thousands of feet down there. Nothing I did made them crawl away.
MAISY
The sky turned pink and orange. Some crickets started scritching their legs. Through the open window I could hear Gloria in the kitchen. I went down the steps into the yard and turned to watch the woods. I closed my eyes and counted to ten and I opened them. Still no Rowan. I stayed there and kept trying to give him chances to jump out and surprise me. But he didn’t. That game never worked.
A car came straight down the circle to our driveway. Not a little blue car, a black one with blue and red lights flashing, but the siren wasn’t going. I knew those lights meant something terrible. It looked like the noisiest thing ever, even though it didn’t make no sound at all.
Gloria came outside. She must’ve heard the car doors slam. The lady with the pictures, Susan, and the man with the funny ties were already on the step. He wasn’t wearing a tie this time. I didn’t like that.
I went up behind them.
“Mrs. Janes,” he said. He nodded his head.
“Hi Maisy,” Susan said. I looked at my feet. I didn’t want to say nothing to her. I wanted them to get back in the car with the star on the side and disappear. “Detective Aiken wants to talk with your mom. Do you want to show me some of your toys?”
“No, she does not,” Gloria said.
“Susan is here to help, Mrs. Janes. I’d suggest that Maisy—”
“My daughter’ll be staying right here beside her mother.”
Susan smiled at me, but it was a sad-smile. Maybe a bit of a mad-smile.
The man and Susan sat on two old stools on the porch. Gloria sat in her special chair. She was playing with her fingers like she always told me not to do.
The man took a big breath. Maybe he was trying to get calm. He looked behind him. “Should we wait for your husband?”
Gloria shook her head. “You talked to him?”
“We were in touch. Asked him to meet us.”
Gloria moved back and forth. She tapped her fingernails on the rocking chair arm. “If he don’t care enough to get over here, then I don’t want to wait.”
“Okay. Okay.” The man looked at Gloria. Then at the Susan lady. Then back at Gloria. “Mrs. Janes. We have news.”
Her fingers stopped tapping. She reached at me and I inch-wormed closer. She grabbed the back of my dress so tight the buttons pulled apart on the front. My bellybutton was peeking out. The man looked at me like I should find another chair way away somewhere. But Gloria wasn’t letting me go.
“News? What sort of news?”
Please good news, I whispered inside my head. I looked at the car. Please good news. I wanted Rowan to leap out the back. Jumping-jack arms. Oh! A big surprise. Gloria would be happy again. Chicken would bark and spin in a circle. Rowan would tease him with food and make him dance on his hind legs. We’d have a welcome-home party. Gloria would forget he ever disappeared. We’d forget he made us cry and cry.
Nothing happened. The doors didn’t open. The trunk didn’t pop up. No one crawled out from the shadow underneath. I leaned as far as I could. No one was hiding behind the car neither. The man rubbed his face up and down with his big hand.
“Not the news we’d hoped for, unfortunately. We’re very sorry. We wanted you to hear from us first.”
Gloria shook her head again. “I don’t understand.”
“We’ve been with Howard Gill nearly around the clock. He finally opened up and decided to do the right thing. Told us what happened. Out at Ansel’s Lake.”
“Ansel’s Lake? But that’s miles from here. Rowan’s never been to Ansel’s Lake.”
The man scritched his chin. “They made their way out there. It’s about four or five hours of walking. Apparently, Gill used to go there as a child. Parents owned one of those cottages near the water, and they broke into it. We’ve connected with the current owners.” He flipped open his notebook. “Mr. Bert Baxter. They were away but returned once they heard. Gave us access. Howard Gill and your son were there for two nights, as far as we can tell. The interior sustained some damage.”
“What does any of that got to do with where Rowan is now?”
“Well. Mrs. Janes. Howard Gill says they fought, that the blood on his shirt is your son’s. He told us he believed Rowan wasn’t who he said he was. That Rowan was sent to put a tracker in him. Rowan was dangerous, and Howard Gill was afraid. He’s a deeply paranoid man.”
“Why are you telling me? A grown man, scared of a boy.”
“You’ll read it in the news coverage, ma’am. I think it’s better if you hear it from us first. We’ve laid charges against Howard Gill.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“Ma’am. We’ve charged him with the death of your son.”
The words made my ears sting. Stars zoomed around all over.
Gl
oria let go of my dress and I crouched down. Her hand went on her nose and she squished it in. “What? What? That’s not true. I don’t want to hear any more. That’s nonsense. Rowan is just fine. Telly’s going to come here, and we’ll get this straightened. He’s got to come around.” She stood up and I knew she was looking out at the circle for Telly’s truck. “He’s just got to fix this.”
“We have divers out there as we speak, Mrs. Janes. Searching the lake. We’ll do everything we can to bring him home to you.”
“Bring him home? Bring him home?” Gloria started walking back and forth over the porch. The wood creaked under her feet. “I won’t believe it,” she said. “I won’t believe one word. It’s not true. This is just a waste of time.”
“He’s been very specific in his account, ma’am. Provided a lot of details. We have a witness who confirms he interacted with Rowan. Spoke to him on the dock. Your boy was fishing.”
“I mean. Well, that could’ve been anyone.”
“He identified him from his picture, ma’am.”
“That still don’t mean nothing, Detective. Lots of people look like Rowan.”
“Mrs. Janes. We feel confident his memory is accurate. The man, Mr. Jim Russell, said he was immediately suspicious about Rowan. Had a feeling something was off. When he asked him about his father, Rowan told Mr. Russell his dad was a friend of Mrs. Baxter’s.”
“His dad?”
“We assume he was referring to Howard Gill.”
Gloria’s head was shaking fast. “That’s the lowest thing I ever heard. Of course that’s not his father. Of course it’s not. I never even met the man.”
“It goes to show,” Susan said, “that Howard Gill had a considerable controlling influence over Rowan.”
“It’s going to break Telly’s heart to hear that. Just break it.”
“Mrs. Janes? There’s more. Jim Russell’s wife saw two people out in a boat, late that night, just as Howard Gill described. Full moon and all, and she had a clear view. She maintains she heard an altercation. Voices carried over the water. A man was hollering, and she saw two people standing up. Later she claims to have seen the man tying up a boat on his own. A dog was with him, but no one else. Appeared he rowed back by himself.”
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