by A. T Brennan
“You think so?”
“I know so.” He hugged me tight and I felt some of the stress and tension leave my body. “If you want to cancel you can. You’re not obligated to do this if you’re really uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay.” I smiled and tried to push past my nerves. “We’ve texted a bit and he seems like a nice guy. I’m just freaking out because it’s all so new.”
“That’s my girl.” He grinned and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “So, do you know what you’re doing?”
“He suggested coffee and a bookstore.”
“That’s not a date, that’s prepping for class.”
“He wants to go and get coffee first, talk for a bit. Then he said we should go to a bookstore and look around. I guess you can learn a lot about someone by what they read. I actually thought it was a cute idea.”
“True. I’ve never really gone on a ‘date’ date. I guess it’s not all about parties and drinking your face off.” He laughed and turned back to my closet. “You’ll have to give me every detail of your cutesy date tomorrow.”
“Of course I will.” I shook my head when he pulled out a dress he’d convinced me to buy. It was tight and short and the straps were so thin I couldn’t wear a bra under it. “Too much.”
“You’re probably right. If you were going to Sigma house with us I’d push it, but for a respectable date you should probably leave something to the imagination.”
“You’re going to that big party? I thought you wanted to go to one of the gay bars in town tonight?”
“Matty and the twins aren’t feeling Prism tonight so I said I’d go to the party if that’s what they wanted.”
“Matt’s going too?”
“Yeah. I’ve barely seen him for two weeks but he told me this morning he’s going to meet up with us.” He pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank with a slightly a-symmetrical cut. “This?”
“I like it.” I nodded and started to strip so I could put the clothes on.
“Have you ever been to a gay bar?” he asked, sitting down on my bed as I changed.
“You realize you’re the first man to ever see me naked.” I laughed as I pulled off my old bra and put on a nice push-up one.
“I’m honored. And if I wasn’t gay I’d be all over you.”
“Thank you.” I pulled the tank over my head and went back to his original question. “And no, I’ve never been to a gay bar.”
“Want to go with me tomorrow?” He perked up. “We could ditch the boys and have an us night.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” I did up my jeans and glanced at myself in the mirror. I had to admit, I didn’t look half bad.
“So, what are you doing with your hair?”
“Straighten it?”
“Nice.” He grinned. “Makeup?”
“You’ll have to let me know how I do. Last time I wore makeup was at grad.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you out of here looking like a clown.”
I laughed and plugged in my straightener.
I was still nervous about my date but after talking with Logan I felt better. At least now didn’t feel like I was about to pass out.
MATT
“Hey, where were you?” I asked Logan as he came through the door.
“Helping Avery get ready for her date.”
His words washed over me like ice water and I actually froze in place for a moment. “Avery has a date?” I asked when I felt like my body was my own again.
“Yeah. I set her up with this guy in my econ class.”
“You set her up?”
“She needs to branch out a bit.” He shrugged and went to the fridge to pull out a beer. “She’s lonely and I thought a date might help her out.”
“What do you know about this guy?”
“He’s in my class, seems nice. He’s quiet, like she is. Why are you so interested?” He looked at me suspiciously.
“I’m not.”
“Look, Matt. I’ve seen the way Avery looks at you. She has a bit of a crush on you and while it’s cute, you have to put an end to it.”
“You think she has a crush on me?” I could barely keep my expression neutral. Avery had a thing for me?
I knew she liked me and obviously thought I was attractive enough to mess around with, but a crush?
Even as I was telling my body to stay calm my brain went into overdrive. I’d been fighting my feelings for her ever since that first movie night. It was the reason I’d stayed away from her these past two weeks.
I more than had a crush on her, I was falling for her. And that scared the shit out of me.
“I know she does. Every time I mention your name or she sees you it’s painfully obvious.”
“Oh...okay.” I had no idea what to say to that.
“Just don’t encourage it.”
“What?”
“I know you like to tease and flirt, but she’s different. She’s just so innocent and naïve. She’d be easy prey for you and I don’t want to see her get hurt—”
“Jesus Christ, Logan. Fuck.” I shook my head and tried not to yell at him. “You make me sound like some sort of crazy serial rapist.”
“What? No. I didn’t mean that.”
“I get it. She’s off limits.” I balled my hands up into fists for a second, hoping to expel some of my anger. “If you haven’t forgotten, I don’t do virgins.”
“I know, but if things work out with James then you might see her as fair game—”
“She’s going out on one date with this guy and you think she’s going to fuck him?”
The thought of this James asshole coming anywhere near her set my blood boiling.
“Probably not right away, but she told me she’s only holding out because she never had the opportunity to be with someone. She’s not saving herself for marriage or that special someone. She’s a red-blooded woman and she wants to get laid.”
My mouth dropped open as Logan turned away from me to toss his bottle cap on the counter.
Avery had told him she wanted to fuck the first guy who offered? Is that why she’d wanted to kiss me? She hadn’t actually wanted to be with someone she trusted, it was because I was the first guy she could find?
That truth hit me like a brick wall and I felt sick for a moment. Here I was drooling and pining for a woman who thought of me as a walking dick.
“You still coming to the party tonight? Jax is bringing some chick whose best friend is looking to score.”
“He’s not hooking Jay up?”
“This chick doesn’t like tattoos apparently.”
“Yeah, I’m coming.” I nodded and went to the fridge to grab a beer.
Avery could have fun on her date. It was time to forget about her and go back to what I did best.
AVERY
When James showed up at the dorm I was already waiting downstairs for him.
He’d sent me a picture so I knew what to expect, and he looked exactly how I thought he would. His brown eyes were warm and open and his light blond hair was short and neat.
He was taller than me, but he didn’t tower over me and I’d guess his height was about five-nine. I couldn’t really tell what his body looked like under his loose shirt and jeans, but he was definitely on the slender side.
He was cute, not drop-dead-handsome like Matt, but attractive.
The moment Matt flashed into my mind and I unconsciously compared him and James I felt guilty, and stupid. Matt was done with me and James wanted to take me on a date. I needed to focus on James and forget all about Matt and his rippling muscles and kissable lips.
“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you in person,” James greeted as he looked me up and down.
“You too.” I was surprised when he held out his hand but shook it. His grip was firm and his hand was warm, but there was no tingle or jolt when I touched him like I’d felt with Matt.
There I went again, comparing them.
“Are you ready to go?”
&n
bsp; I nodded and fell into step beside him. “So, where did you want to get coffee?”
“I was thinking The Co-Op?”
I thought it was a bit strange that he’d want to go to the coffee shop on campus and not get away from school for a bit, but I didn’t say anything.
“That sounds great.”
“So, you’re an arts major?”
“I am.”
“That’s cool. Do you like it?”
“I do, I’m learning a lot.” I paused and bit my lip. I wasn’t nervous, for once in my life, but I was having a hard time thinking of things to say. “What are you studying?”
“Business.”
“Oh, what would you like to do after grad?”
As James launched into a detailed answer about opening his own business and eventually franchising I listened with half an ear. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but even with our limited conversation I just wasn’t feeling any sort of connection with him.
It was early and I had zero experience with dating, but I’d thought I’d feel something—butterflies, tingles, giddiness. Something. I’d felt connected to Logan the moment he’d dropped to his knees and offered to help me pick up my stuff, and I’d felt something for Matt the first time I’d looked at him. I’d even felt a tug toward Jaxon and Jason, but I wasn’t feeling anything with James.
Shaking my head slightly I forced myself to focus on James and what he was saying.
I wasn’t going to sabotage this before it had even begun. Logan was right, I needed to branch out and meet people. I shouldn’t judge my date so quickly. Besides, James was safe, and I needed safe.
* * * * *
By the time we were walking back to my building I was confused.
We’d had coffee and talked while we sat in a corner booth. The conversation had flowed pretty easily and he was interesting enough, but a part of me had felt like things were forced. They’d gotten better at the bookstore, which was one just off campus and filled with students even though it was Friday night.
We browsed the aisles, talking about books we’d read or ones that were on our reading lists. I’d learned we had completely opposite tastes in books and that actually made the conversation more interesting. He liked to read about history and politics and was really into self-improvement books. I preferred fantasy and thrillers, and loved a good romance novel.
At the end of the date James had bought me a book I’d told him I was interested in reading, saying it would make him happy to know I was reading something I wanted and he’d been able to give it to me. It was a really sweet gesture and I felt a little bit of a connection to him. That was something.
When we reached my building I was nervous again. I had no idea what to expect now that the date was over.
“I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.” I wasn’t lying, I did have fun. But it had felt like fun I would have with a friend, not a date.
“Would you want to go out again?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
“Tomorrow?”
“I can’t tomorrow, I promised Logan I’d go out with him, have an ‘us’ night.”
He smiled and nodded. “Maybe during the week we can get together, have coffee or something?”
“I’d like that.”
“I’ll text you in a few days and we can set something up?”
“Sure.” I smiled nervously.
I saw James’s move from my eyes to my lips and a moment later he leaned toward me. I closed my eyes and waited for his kiss.
His lips were soft and warm, and his kiss was light and gentle. It was more like he pressed his lips against mine for a moment before pulling back. It was nice, but there was nothing. No spark or tingles or even a little thrill.
“I’ll talk to you later.”
I smiled and nodded before turning to go into my building. It was only ten o’clock and I had no idea what to do. Should I go out with him again if I didn’t feel anything, or would that be leading him on?
I wished I had a girlfriend to talk to about this kind of thing. Logan was great, but he was still male and thought about things differently than I did. It would have been nice to have a girl’s perspective on the situation.
As I was heading to my room I pulled my phone out of my purse.
Avery: are you having fun?
Logan: babes!
Avery: I take that as a yes lol
Logan: you still on your date?
Avery: I’m back at the dorm. Date ended early
Logan: come to sigma house. I’m so bored
Avery: sure :) I’ll be there soon
Logan: love you!
Avery: love you too lol
Logan was definitely on the way to getting drunk but I was feeling a little antsy. I’d had two cups of coffee while on my date, forgetting that the caffeine would wire me for hours, and I was confused. The last thing I wanted to do was go to my room and sit in the silence by myself.
Chapter Eight
AVERY
When I got to Sigma house it was a zoo. There were people everywhere on the lawn and the porch. Red and white cups littered the ground and the entire house seemed to pulse with music. I’d heard Sigma house was known for their ragers, it would seem this was one of them.
Taking a deep breath I made my way up the walkway, dodging groups of drunk students as I did. When I finally made it into the house it was like hitting a wall of sensory overload. Lights flashed, music pulsed through the floor and there was a drastic temperature change from the crush of people inside. It was a lot all at once and I felt a wave of panic rush over me.
It took a moment to calm down and fight my instinct to run out of there, but it passed a lot quicker than usual. When I was in control again I looked around.
There was no way I’d be able to find Logan just by walking around so I plastered myself against the closest wall and pulled out my phone.
Avery: where are you?
Logan: sigma house!
Avery: so am I. Where are you in the house?
Logan: near the back door :)
Avery: k. I’m coming that way now
I put my phone back in my oversized purse and took a deep breath before pushing my way through the throngs of people.
It was a bit of a challenge zigging and zagging around the groups of people around, and I nearly wore more than one drink thanks to exuberant drunk talkers, but I finally found the back of the house and the back door.
“Avery!”
“Logan?” I could hear my name but couldn’t see him.
“Avery! Here!”
I glanced to my left and saw him jumping up and down, trying to get my attention as he waved frantically. I waved back and started toward him.
“Sorry,” I said quickly when I walked right into a couple making out about five feet from where Logan was waiting for me. I’d been trying to avoid getting smacked by a hand-talker and walked right into the guy’s back.
“Avery?”
I looked up at my name and right into a pair of incredible blue eyes. “Matt?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Meeting up with Logan.” I bit my lip and tried to push back the tears that were prickling in my eyes.
“I thought you had a date.” His voice was a little cold and I couldn’t read his look. I wasn’t the best at interpreting people’s expressions, but Matt’s was confusing. He looked shocked and angry and a little hurt. I had no idea what he could possibly be hurt about. I wasn’t the one attached at the lips to a coed.
I glanced at the gorgeous blonde still hanging off him and a wave of pain washed over me. Between her impressive cleavage and skin-tight dress I could see she was exactly the kind of girl a guy like Matt would want. And now I knew exactly what he’d been doing these past few weeks. I was officially old news.
“I did but it’s over and now I’m here to see Logan.” I glanced away from Matt and saw Logan heading toward us. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Avery�
��”
I didn’t give Matt and chance to finish, I just pushed past him and walked right into Logan’s open arms.
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said in my ear as he hugged me tight.
“I’m fine. Just overwhelmed from all the people and noise.” I gave him one last squeeze and pulled away. My heart felt like it was breaking and my self-esteem was basically non-existent, but I couldn’t tell him why I was upset without telling him what had happened between Matt and I.
“Want a drink?” He kept his arm over my shoulder and steered me to the back door. “It’s quieter out here.”
“Sure.”
When we were in a semi-quiet corner of the yard Logan went to get me a drink. While I waited I tried to think about anything other than the fact that Matt was hooking up with one of the hottest girls I’d seen on campus and I was still dreaming about how it had felt to kiss him.
He obviously hadn’t spared me a second thought and I was pining over him. I was so stupid. Logan had told me he was a player but I’d ignored him because I’d been naïve enough to believe I actually had a shot with a guy like Matt. Logan was right. I needed someone like James in my life. Someone quiet and low-key. Someone my speed. I needed to move on and get over my silly little crush before I let Matt break my heart without him ever knowing he held it.
“So, how was the date?” Logan appeared at my side with two cups in his hands. He handed me one and grinned. “It’s beer, I hope you don’t mind.”
“We’ll see how it goes down.” I smiled wryly and gingerly took a sip.
I was not a fan of beer. It was thick and warm and the aftertaste was nasty, but it was alcohol and I wanted to feel that warmth again. I held my breath and gulped down as much as I could, only stopping when I felt my stomach turn.
“Good?” Logan asked, staring at me with a strange look in his eyes. I didn’t blame him. I was acting even weirder than normal.
“Not really, but it’s a drink.”
“I’m guessing the date wasn’t awesome?”
