But for the people in the G.H.O.S.T. program, nothing was fast or painless. He knew a little bit about the process. They were cut open, sewed up, tested, and cut open again. That could go on for years.
Would they really have the balls to do this to unwilling victims, and blatantly lie to the public?
Theron finally managed to stutter out a response. “But. I mean, the scientists… they said it was all volunteers. They went on the news and told the world that you all were happy to… you know. Gain power and prestige, or whatever.”
“And what, you were under the impression that everyone tells the truth?” Lily lifted her head from her hands, and glared at him with a coldness that chilled him to his core. “You remember when they announced the program? Hmm? Remember how they framed it?”
He thought back. After what happened, he did his best to ignore any information about the program, hating it to his core. But… “It was right after the Blink, right? Like a month or so?”
“Exactly. So all of a sudden, humans find out that monsters exist. Coincidentally, one of the labs was attacked by a group of shifters, after the scientists kidnapped some of their people. There were survivors – victims who were able to tell those shifters the truth of the program. The humans had to act fast.”
“So… they claimed they knew about the ‘monsters’, and this program was designed to create soldiers to fight them, right?” It was slowly coming back to Theron, along with a horrible feeling of dread and guilt.
“Exactly. And they did know about the monsters – but they had no idea war was coming. We were created to fight human enemies. At least, that’s what they told us. In reality, we were being sold to the highest bidder. Can you imagine what a politician or a CEO could do with one of us in their pocket?” Lily’s mouth twisted bitterly. She was by nature an optimistic and forgiving person, but…
Theron wasn’t sure what to say. Obviously all his prejudice against G.H.O.S.T.’s had been completely off base.
“I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve hated your kind for so long, but I guess… I was wrong. I’m sorry, honestly, for all the cruel comments.”
The bitterness was already gone from Lily’s face; now she just looked deeply tired. “It’s fine. Hard not to hate in today’s world. I am curious why you targeted the G.H.O.S.T.’s.”
He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. He felt like he owed her something, after being such an ass, but he never… talked about his feelings.
“Uh, where to begin? I was human for most of my life. The Blink was a horrible time, of course, but for a short while it… didn’t really matter to me. I wasn’t magic. I know that’s a terrible thing to say, and I should have cared more… but the news was filled with videos of ‘monsters’ doing horrible things – of course I thought as the rest of humanity did – they needed to be exterminated.” He lapsed into silence, reflecting on his general poor choices in life. It was a wonder he hadn’t been stabbed in the back yet. Probably would’ve deserved it.
“And then, well, the Tiger god came to town. He just picks humans at will and gives them his “blessing.” I call it a curse. It’s amusing to him to watch us try to deal with becoming monsters ourselves. I thought for a while that it was somehow genetic – my brother and I are both shifters, and you’ve seen that Finn is half shifter. But from all accounts it’s…. What?” Lily was staring with wide eyes.
“I just realized – you have not once referred to Finn as your son. I mean, I guess I kind of assumed he was, cause of the shifter connection, but you only ever call him your apprentice. What gives?”
Theron winced, pain clear on his face. “Yes. He’s my son.”
Lily sensed that this was a crucial part of the story, but she knew better than to push. She already regretted saying something – if he clammed up now it would be all her fault.
“Before the Blink, I was married.” It felt like someone had put a hole through Lily’s heart, to hear him say that. But why? She didn’t care about him. If anything, she actively disliked him. “His mother was… I guess an earth elemental? That’s what I’ve been told, based on Finn’s blood. I never knew. I will never know. Whether she was born that way, or had the magic forced on her after the Blink…. Because I killed her.”
Chapter Ten
You could hear a pin drop in the room. Lily had figured he was leading up to something like this, so she wasn’t surprised. But still, she wasn’t sure how to respond. The last thing she wanted to do was twist a knife in his emotional wounds. Theron waited for Lily to respond with revulsion and horror.
The silence dragged on, getting more and more charged. Finally, Lily couldn’t take it anymore.
“Why?”
Theron sighed with relief. It was finally out in the open, after eight long years.
“It was an accident. I had gone tiger, for the first time, and had no idea what was happening to me. All I knew was that it hurt, and I wanted to hurt someone back. She came in the room and found me. I don’t know if she even knew it was me. Earth elementals have some power over animals – she tried to calm me down. It didn’t work. To me, crazy with the change, it just felt like someone was trying to throw a net over me. So I attacked. It was over in an instant. And then I came to, and realized…” His voice wavered and trailed off, as he stared with blank eyes into a long past tragedy.
Now it was Lily’s turn to be rendered mute. Is there any good way to say “I’m sorry you accidentally killed the love of your life”? Probably not. She elected to remain silent, although she was overwhelmed with grief on behalf of this man she thought she hated. No one deserved that. She would know.
“I… sort of know how you feel. I know it doesn’t help, just thought that… well, I know how you feel.”
Theron’s voice was hollow and tinged with cruelty. “What, you accidentally murdered your husband?”
She didn’t blame him. But she also wasn’t going to back down. “No. I killed my entire family, by proxy.”
“What?” He was staring at her again, his eyes focused and shot with alarm.
“It was part of the training. My final test actually. They brought my family in – mom, dad, little brother – as well as three shifters. Wolves, cause they’re the easiest to get. They’d crushed their minds just enough to completely destroy their humanity. They were just raving monsters at that point. I don’t blame them for it. They put the six of them in a room together, and then let the shifters loose. My test was to control them, but not kill them. I failed.”
He was openly horrified now. “Why wouldn’t you just kill them anyway? If it was between them and your family?”
Lily shrugged, doing her best not to keep the details of that day shoved into the recesses of her mind. “They had guys with guns who were commanded to shoot my people if I killed the wolves. I thought I could control them. I did, for a few minutes. It only took one slip though… it was not a large room.”
“So, what did you…” Theron didn’t even know if he should be asking questions. Hell, he didn’t know if he should be in the same house as her. How could she bear to be around shifters, after something like that?
“I snapped. I threw out a blanket sleep command to everyone in the building. It didn’t work. I was too worked up, too angry… they all died. Something like twelve humans, and the wolves. I left.” A single tear slid down Lily’s cheek. She left it there. Her family deserved to be remembered every now and then.
“Well I honestly don’t know how you can handle being around shifters. Or humans… Fuck. Here I was, thinking I have a tragic backstory.” Theron scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to process it all.
Lily started laughing, a sound devoid of mirth. “Honestly I would rather not be winning the ‘tragic backstory’ contest. But you shouldn’t sell yourself short – yours is pretty tragic. Doesn’t really explain why you hate me.”
His head jerked back in surprise. “I don’t hate you.”
“You hate G.H.O.S.T.’s. I fall under that umbrella you kno
w.”
“Oh yeah… well, as it turns out, I may have just been willfully ignorant. I thought you all volunteered. Sounds like I was completely wrong there. Besides that, well, a G.H.O.S.T wiped Finn’s memory, at my request. I can’t help but resent that, even though I wanted it.” Theron sighed and sank back into the decrepit couch.
“Why would you wipe his memory?” Lily was deeply against the practice and had yet to do it to anyone, at least since she’d escaped the lab.
“I mean, he saw me. Saw me kill his mother. I figured it would be better to wipe all memories of his happy family and just… tell him he was an orphan. Take him in as my apprentice. Once I can figure out how to cure myself, maybe I’ll be able to tell him the truth. Until then, anyone who gets close to me is in danger.”
Lily regarded Theron with hooded eyes that betrayed none of her feelings. She had been prepared to hate the man for his unfair hatred of her. But after hearing his story… well, it was no worse than hers, but hers was pretty fucking bad. The only difference seemed to be that she had learned to live with her past, and had moved on from blaming herself. Theron was still firmly clasped in the claws of guilt. And she hadn’t gotten past her fear of shifters.
Theron had come to the realization that she was not someone to be despised. She had suffered as much, if not more than he had, and yet come out of it a far stronger person. She retained her joy and hope, and spent her free time trying to convince bigoted idiots that they were in danger. She was impossibly beautiful, and the gods had decreed that she was to be his mate.
The only thing that stood between them was reality.
He was a shifter. Shifters had murdered her family. It was foolish to even consider that she would be with him.
Chapter Eleven
Lily was emotionally drained. She just wanted a distraction, something that would make her feel alive. That was her secret – anytime she felt too gloomy about things that couldn’t be changed, she would immediately distract herself. Unfortunately, going for a nighttime walk in the area might just get her killed.
What did people do, when they’re bored at night?
She snuck another glance at Theron. He was just so damn hot. She felt almost indecent, checking him out while he was still wracked with grief. But she couldn’t handle it, couldn’t stay in the same room with all the negative vibes he was throwing off and still maintain her grip on her own sanity.
And she just knew that if she tried to go out by herself, he would follow her. Shifters. Over protective to a fault. But if he followed her, the gloom would as well, and she would be exactly where she was right now. Her only option was to distract him.
She knew how she wanted to distract him - but wasn’t sure she had the nerve.
“So are you and Hecate together?”
Theron raised his head, revealing bloodshot eyes surrounded by dark circles. This conversation had aged him significantly, stripping away his haughty beauty and leaving behind a haggard and broken man.
“What?”
Lily shifted uncomfortably. She really didn’t want to ask him about another woman, and she detected a hostile note in his voice. Still, she may as well just barrel through. “Hecate. I mean, she hangs out at your lab, seems to care for Finn, treats you… well, you just act like a couple.”
The shifter let loose with a short laugh, seemingly genuinely amused. “No way in hell. Have you seen us? We fight like cats and dogs.”
“Well then… sorry, you just don’t seem like the type to have friends. Why is she, uh, working in your lab?”
“Hell if I know. She just showed up one day, and announced that she would be hanging around. I tried to scare her off, but, well. She’s “The” Witch Goddess. Doesn’t really scare. If anything, I think she considered trying to make me into her familiar. Witches love cats.”
Lily focused on the far wall, avoiding Theron’s gaze. If he was single, there was really no reason she shouldn’t…
“So then,” red stained her cheeks, and her voice trembled, “You’re unattached?”
She felt his eyes boring into her, felt his aura tighten. He was throwing off excitement, arousal, confusion, fear. Just a tornado of emotion. “Why do you ask?”
Oh god, he was going to make her say it? He wouldn’t just take her hints and ravish her, like a gentleman?
“Um. You know. I just thought we might… I mean, we’re consenting adults, and we… I’m bored and you’re hot, okay?”
Theron was nonplussed. She was bored and he was hot? Wow. So flattering.
“Well, as much as I, um, appreciate your interest, that’s not going to happen.”
She drew back, a dash of hurt tightening her features. Of course. He ended up hurting everyone eventually. He opened his mouth to apologize, but stopped. The scent of her momentary affront was already gone - now she radiated determination and defiance. Shit.
“You sure about that?” Lily stood, her movements halting. Her cheeks could have lit up the night, but she soldiered forward. With trembling hands, she grasped the bottom of her shirt, slowly drawing it upwards, her eyes fixed on Theron.
He went white as a sheet.
Way to make a girl feel sexy.
“W-what are you doing?” Theron knew that he was probably going to hurt Lily’s feelings, but he didn’t care. This couldn’t happen.
“You know what I’m doing.” Lily had her top completely off now, baring creamy white skin. And dear lord, no bra. Her breasts were small and perky – just barely a handful. As delicate as the rest of her. Her nipples were already puckering, responding to the cold air, her lustful thoughts, and this brazen display.
Theron wanted her so badly it hurt. He thought that it might not have been as painful, if it was only the mating curse at play. But over the course of the day, he’d gotten to know her. She should have been bitter and angry – instead she used to powers that were forced on her to help others. She looked as though a strong gust of wind would blow her away, but she could hold her own in any fight. She strived to maintain her optimistic, friendly demeanor in a world that wanted her dead or enslaved. She was irresistible. He could not be allowed to have her.
“No. Put your shirt back on. We’re not doing this.”
Lily sidled towards him, swaying her hips a little. He could tell that she was trying to look seductive, but didn’t know what she was doing. All things considered, she probably didn’t come on to guys all that often.
She reached Theron, who was still seated on the couch, like a fool. Before he could say another word, she had straddled him.
“Don’t you think we both need some extra love tonight?” She pressed her chest against his, shuddering as his shirt rubbed on her aroused nipples. Her knees were on either side of his legs, and as she wore a skirt, only his pants separated them. She could feel the heat of his member, straining, pressing into her mound.
Theron made a strangled noise as his hands wrapped around her bare shoulders. He had meant to push her away, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. They sat there, Lily wiggling around on his lap, her shoulders in a death grip as Theron’s heart and head waged war with each other.
“You don’t understand what this means. We can’t.” The shifter was struggling to remember why they couldn’t. His faculties were overwhelmed by her scent - some lightly sweet aroma, mixed with the unmistakable musk of sex.
Lily merely strained against his hands, endeavoring to cozy back up to his chest.
“There’s no reason we can’t. Why are you-” Suddenly she stopped, going limp in his grasp. Her eyes downcast, a tremble in her voice, she asked, “Is this because of what I am? Because you hate G.H.O.S.T.’s? You’re not attracted to me?”
Theron snarled something under his breath. “Don’t be a fool woman. Don’t you read minds? Of course I want you.”
“I would never read your mind! And what am I supposed to think, when I am literally throwing myself at you and you’re trying to shove me away?” Lily was outraged at the implication and crushed by
his rebuttal.
He shook his head, considering the consequences. He didn’t have to bow to the wishes of the mating curse. He could give her want she wanted tonight, and then go on his merry way. Pining for her for the rest of his life was an option. And at least this way, he would get to taste her, if only for a night.
“There could be complications. What if I lose control?”
“I have absolute faith that you won’t. But if you do… I guess I’ll get a second chance to test my control.” Lily had stopped moving around, not wanting to tease him. If he didn’t want to sleep with her, she wasn’t about to beg.
Theron groaned and buried his face in her cleavage. His hands loosened, sliding down her back, pulling her close to him. There was no way he would be able to resist his predestined mate, offering herself up on a silver platter. He would just have to deal with the fallout.
Lily sucked her breath in, arching her back, reveling in the feel of his face against her skin. It had been so long since anyone had touched her without ill intentions. She almost didn’t believe this was real. The only thing that gave her hope was the fact that her fantasies never starred unfriendly shifters.
His mind made up, Theron wasn’t going to waste any more time. Wrapping his arms around Lily, he stood. Her legs went around his waist as he strode towards another of the empty bedrooms.
Swinging one leg behind him in the general direction of the door, he managed to slam it behind them. A rickety bed awaited, complete with bare mattress. The likelihood that it was infested was high… Should he risk it?
Her voice slurred, Lily took charge. “C’mon, to the bed. I’m sure any mice will run from a big scary cat.”
Theron smiled. Normally any mention of the Tiger would send him into a furious rage, but he couldn’t get mad at her. And she was right – he would smell like a predator.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t read my mind?”
Scholar (Emerald Isle Tigers Book 3) Page 4
