Let Me Be the One

by Christa Maurice

  “You didn’t say anything.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was laying here thinking about how happy I was. I guess I should have told you.” He kissed her, teasing open her mouth.

  She rolled onto her side and curled her leg around his hip. His skin slid against hers again. The sensation of his hands wandering down her body was gentle and possessive. Everywhere he touched, he claimed, until she was dizzy with need. This was how he’d always touched her, she realized. Taking her hand to help her out of a car, draping his arm over her shoulders at a function, hugging her in greeting or goodbye. Whenever, wherever he touched her, it had always had the same gentle possessiveness to it.

  “You know it’s going to be a while before I’m up for another round,” he murmured. “The spirit is willing, but the flesh isn’t twenty-two anymore.”

  Suzi chuckled, watching as the dark sound drew a flush to his skin. “I can wait.”

  He brushed his fingers through her hair, his expression turning serious. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were getting upset. I should have known you’d be a little nervous.”

  “No, I’m sorry. My brain just started spinning, and I thought maybe you only made love to me to make me feel better.”

  “I have waited years for you.”

  “And you’re sure?”

  “Absolutely.” He kissed her again, nibbling her lips. “I love you, Angel. I’ve been waiting years to tell you that.”

  “You have?”

  “I remember that first night at Jason’s. Before you came out here.” He propped himself up on his elbow. His leg slid between hers. “I shook your hand and couldn’t think of anything to say. All I could think about was how much more beautiful you were than your picture.”

  “You couldn’t think of anything to say?” Suzi cocked an eyebrow. She remembered that whole first meeting being miserable. All the guys had been so anxious. She’d had to cut Greg off after dinner because he was intent on getting hammered. All of them had tried to stop Charity from saying anything that popped into her head. “I thought you were angry.”

  “I was frustrated. I’d been so looking forward to meeting you, and I didn’t know what to say.” He sighed. “Marc wanted to put tape over your mouth and have you walk for us.”

  “Why?”

  He smirked. “Because I said you had a great swing to your hips.”

  Suzi turned onto her side. “You said what?” This was more the kind of conversations she was used to having with him. “Is that all you were doing that night? Watching me walk around so you could stare at my hips?”

  “No, I spent some of the time watching you talk so I could stare at your lips.”

  “My lips?”

  “You have very nice lips.” He brushed his finger across them, followed by his own lips.

  She closed her eyes, enjoying his soft, sweet exploration. The weight of his hand on her waist anchored her.

  “You have an impressive stride as well.”

  “There’s a secret to that.”

  “What would that be?” He licked behind her earlobe.

  “Thigh-high stockings. I was wearing them that night to please Logan.”

  “Then I’ll have to make sure you have a good supply so you can please me.”

  “I’ll be happy to please you.” Suzi ran her fingers down his chest, making him moan.

  “You already do.” He kissed her neck.

  “So tell me more about what you thought of me that first night.”

  “Are you going to get vain now?”

  “I was vain before. You just never noticed. Why did you want to put tape over my mouth?”

  Brian scowled at her with mock impatience. “I’d put some tape over it right now if I didn’t have some better uses for it in mind.”

  Suzi pushed him onto his back, kissing him. This all felt so natural. Like this part of their relationship had always been there, but hadn’t been used. “Tell me why you wanted to put tape over my mouth.”

  “Marc wanted to put tape over your mouth.”

  “Marc. When were you talking to Marc about this?”

  “That night. He had to be in New York and couldn’t come, so he called me.”

  “He called you.” She trailed her tongue down his throat. Her hands strayed farther, stroking his belly and, ah yes, the flesh was willing. “Why did he want to put tape over my mouth?”

  “Because you talked like the Queen of England.” Brian gasped as she wrapped her hand around him.

  “The Queen of England?” She stroked his hard length, trying to decide what she wanted more. Riding him would be fun, but so would sucking him. Sucking him would fulfill one of the better uses he probably had for her mouth. Riding him would allow her to continue the interrogation. She had him at her mercy now. If she timed it carefully, she could do both. Decisions, decisions.

  “Angel,” Brian moaned.

  “What do you mean I talked like the Queen of England?”

  “You’re a bad girl, you know that?”

  “But you like it. That’s your real problem.” She traced her thumb across his head making him shiver. “You know I’m not going to release you until I get an answer.”

  “I know you. You’re never going to release me.” He put his hand on the small of her back and tried to pull her closer, but she resisted. “You sounded…ah…stiff and formal.”

  “Stiff and formal?” Deciding, she inched down, kissing his chest as she moved. “Any other observations?”

  “Suzi,” he moaned.

  She licked his nipple. His hand stroked up her back sending another shower of desire through her. “Well?” She swirled her tongue through his belly button, eliciting another low growl of pleasure.

  “We thought you were an intellectual, but sexy, too.”

  That sounded good. “What else?”

  “I don’t remember. Suzi, please,” he pleaded.

  She kissed below his belly button, letting her cheek brush his swollen head. The room filled with the sound of rain and panting. “You don’t remember anything else?” She released a slow, hot breath, knowing how it would travel across his skin.

  “Jason didn’t figure out the ‘keeping you up’ thing until after you left.” Brian gasped. “He thought you were choking on something.”

  Suzi smiled. The bottom of the barrel. He did remember a lot of little details of their first encounter. That alone was proof he had been fascinated from the very first moment. She licked away a pearl of cum, making him shudder. She could taste herself on him as she drew him into her mouth. Closing her eyes, she relished their combined flavor. Everything had always been so easy with him. There had been tension, but nothing that ever overrode their friendship. That was one thing she’d never had with Logan. They had been lovers, but never friends.

  Shifting, she straddled him. He opened his eyes, smiling. “That’s better.” As she sheathed herself on him, he groaned. “Much better.”

  She leaned down, letting her hair trail over his skin. “This is much better?”

  He arched up to catch her in a rich, sweet kiss as he clasped his hands on her hips to guide her rhythm. Suzi let him have her, caught by the taste of his mouth, the strength of his hands, and the friction of him inside her. Her climax flooded her. Rushing down through her body to her toes. He caught her as she sagged forward, cradling her on his chest.

  “You’re a bad girl, Suzi,” Brian murmured, stroking her hair. “Questioning me that way.”

  “You hated every moment, didn’t you?”

  “Pure torture.”

  She nestled her cheek against his chest. “You remember an awful lot about the first few hours you knew me.”

  “I was watching you.” He ran his fingers down her back.

  Suzi turned to rest her chin on him so she could see his eyes. He seemed sincere enough. “Why did you say this was much better?”

  He blinked. “What?”

  “Whe
n I climbed on top of you, you said it was much better. Why?”

  For a long moment, he just stared at her face, running his fingers through her hair. “Because I want to see you when we make love. I want to know it’s you and not some other woman I’m wishing was you.”

  “Have there been other women you wished were me?”

  “Two or three.”

  She slid up his body, relishing the slick friction of his belly against hers. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I thought you were happy with Logan.”

  Suzi bit her lip. He’d been years thinking about her and too kind to want to hurt her by saying anything. Brian would have watched her marry Logan and kept his secret if he thought it would make her happy.

  Kissing him, she let herself slip under his spell. He turned her onto her back, exploring her with his hands and mouth as if he might never touch her again. Suzi floated in a pool of heat while he tasted every inch of her. It seemed to be hours before he climbed out of bed and turned off the lights. She admired his long lean line as he walked back to the bed and settled beside her. Suzi raised his fingers to her mouth, kissing each one before nestling against him to watch the light show outside. His warm breath slid across her neck as he pulled her closer to his hard body.

  Years she’d wanted this. Snuggling against Brian, she decided she couldn’t have ended up in a better place. When she’d walked—run—out on Logan, she’d thought the world was coming to an end. The years of clinging to him because she adored him. Giving him space by ignoring his bad behavior. Knowing if they had a child, it would grow up believing Mommies took shit from Daddies because they had to.

  But Brian would never do anything like that to her. She’d never seen him with a woman other than Bonnie. Not that she didn’t believe there weren’t any, but he was obviously beyond the need to chase every woman he saw.

  Outside, the storm subsided to steady rain. The valley was lost to view. They were alone up here. Isolated from the world. His lips brushed her neck. Then her shoulder. Then he shifted up on his elbow to nip her arm, and she felt something hard to the south.

  “I thought the flesh was weak,” she murmured, arching her neck for him.

  “You have a strengthening effect.”

  Chapter 18

  Brian woke up because Suzi was moving. Swimming through grogginess, he reached for her, snagging her arm. “Where you goin’?

  “To run.” She kissed his cheek from an odd angle, so he opened one eye to see where she was. The room was bright. She’d managed to get out of bed and was leaning back over the side. “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Just stay here.” He fought the impulse to drag her back into bed with him. If she wanted to run, he should let her run, but he wanted her in bed with him until he was done with her, which might be never.

  “I haven’t run in ages. I’m going to be all blobby and unattractive if I don’t.” Pulling her hand free, she kissed his cheek again. “I’ll be back soon and we can have breakfast. Or lunch as the case may be.”

  Scowling, he rubbed his suddenly empty hand over his face. The clock read eleven.

  He remembered making love to her as the sun rose. Four times last night. Been a while since he’d done that. Been a while since he’d wanted to. Generally, one round was enough to burn off whatever lingering lust he had. With Suzi? No, with Suzi he’d wanted more. He’d wanted to touch her all night long. And had. If exhaustion hadn’t knocked him out just after dawn, he’d have kept going.

  He wished she was still here so he could touch her some more.

  Most mornings, she ran for about forty minutes. Enough time to shower and meet her outside.

  Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, the rest of him followed through a fast shower and a trip to the kitchen for coffee. Cup in hand, he went outside to wait for her.

  She came around the curve of the drive, and her face lit, then she lowered her head, picking up speed. Shit. Brian dropped his mug in the grass and shifted his weight to one foot so when she plowed into him, she wouldn’t throw him flat on his back.

  Instead, she swung him around and pulled him down on top of her, laughing. “Hey baby, didja miss me?”

  “Yes.” He brushed sweaty tendrils of hair off her face. Four times last night, and her pressed under him again was giving his body ideas.

  “Mmm, I can tell.” She squirmed, running her palms up his chest. “I wonder what would happen if I went away longer.”

  “Don’t do that.” He tasted the sweat on her throat. “I don’t think I could take it.”

  Suzi wiggled out of her shorts. “Well, I wouldn’t want to cause you grief.” Her fingers went to work on his jeans. She trusted him. She left Logan because she caught him with another woman, and she trusted him.

  She wrapped her legs around him with a pleasured gasp. Ecstasy lit her face. Yesterday, he couldn’t have imagined this. They were lying on the grass beside the pond in front of Jason’s house with the sound of the waterfall and the birds and her moans. He’d fantasized about sex with her a lot, but most of his fantasies took place in bed. Less than a full day, and she was fucking him outside under the sun. She arched and shuddered, clutching him inside her. He gasped as the electric sizzle shot through him. Resting most of his weight on his elbows, he nuzzled her neck.

  “Brian?” she asked. “What are we doing?”

  “Other than having sex in the front yard?” He would have laughed, but he didn’t have the energy. Raising his head, he smiled at her.

  She met his smile with a hollow fear that made him catch his breath. He’d forgotten how much of a worrier she was. Two minutes after playful sex, and she was worried about something. Was she always this nervous, or had five years with Logan caused it?

  “What is it, Angel?” He stroked her cheek.

  “Are we in a relationship, or are we just burning off sexual tension? Is this friends with benefits or—or more? I just want to know. I’m okay either way.” She tried to pull away from him, but he still had her half trapped with his body. “I just don’t want to pressure you or— or not give enough or something. It’s just, we’ve always been such good friends that I wouldn’t want to ruin it. It’s okay. I understand if you’re not looking for—”

  Brian put his finger over her lips to stop her. The logjam of words filled her eyes with anxiety. At least there was no confusion about what she wanted. She wanted forever, and that he’d be happy to supply. He sat up and put his hands on her shoulders. “Angel, I love you. I meant it when I said it last night, but I don’t want to hurt you either. I understand you’re nervous. I want a relationship. I want—” Brian caught himself before he said marriage. She was not going to react well to the thought of marriage after a twelve-hour sex marathon. “I want to build on the friendship we have.”

  “Ida said friendship was a good place to start.”

  “Ida?”

  “She said last night that Paul knew we were in love five years ago.”

  He kissed her nose. “I wonder if Paul mixed something special into our dinner to help us along.”

  “He’s a chef, not a witch doctor.”

  Brian stood and reached out to help her. “I wouldn’t put anything past him.”

  Chapter 19

  Logan threw another pair of jeans into the suitcase. “So Brian says she’s okay?”

  “Yeah. He said he’d heard from her, and she’s still upset, but she’s okay.”

  “But he didn’t say where she was.” Logan dug through the bag Suzi always packed for him. He didn’t even know what to take. Dr. Kennedy said he was too dependent on her and intimidated by her, and that bred resentment, so he acted out by flirting and occasionally cheating. It all sounded pretty good. Suzi did make him feel stupid. Always throwing around her vocabulary. Dr. Kennedy said she might not even know she was doing it, and he needed to discuss it with her and put it in terms of how it made him feel. It sounded like a lot of daytime talk show stuff,
but he’d give it a shot.

  “No. He may have only talked to her on the phone or via email. He’s already there, so you can ask him yourself. Don’t forget to bring something warm. It can get very cold on the mountain,” Cassie said.

  Logan snapped his fingers and went to the closet to dig out his flannels. Instead, he opened her closet. She hadn’t taken any of her clothes when she was here. What was she doing? Buying new? According to his office, she hadn’t used her expense account, but she did have money of her own. He stroked the midnight blue velvet jacket she liked to wear when she dressed up. It had a tight waist and long tails. She could wear it with a skirt or jeans or whatever and she always looked hot and forbidding, like a vampire on the hunt. “So do you think you’re going to be able to get her to WVA?”

  “I don’t know. Jason thinks we shouldn’t tell her you’re going to be there, but I don’t think we should trick her like that.”

  “She hates to be messed with.”

  “Well, I’ll warn Brian we’re coming. I just hope he checks his email. He hasn’t been answering the phone.”

  “Really?”

  “It’s the second anniversary of his divorce. Jason said he sounded a little depressed when he asked about going to Potterville.”

  “Oh, I forgot.” Logan scratched his head. He’d never known, but he didn’t want Cassie to think he was an insensitive jerk. Suzi kept track of all that stuff. He was lousy with dates. She sent all the cards and emails and junk like that.

  “How is the therapy going?”

  “Good. Dr. Kennedy says I just need to stay calm and tell her how I feel.” And not to be embarrassed about being such a pussy.

  “Well, that is a good start. Do you know what you’re going to say to her when you see her?”

  “I’m just going to tell her that I love her, and I’m willing to do whatever I have to to get her to come home.” Logan surveyed the room. Her perfume bottles were still on the dresser. Her clothes still hung in the closet. When they went to LA for The Party, she’d left a pair of jeans draped over the back of a chair, and they were still there. The cleaners had wanted to move them, but he’d told them no. It made him feel like maybe she’d just stepped out and would be back. Having the house clean and the yard done helped the feeling along.