Jenna sat, eyes on the closing sliding glass door. “What’s up?”
“Uh…” Erika began. “Sorry.”
“For?”
“Um…manipulating you. Or trying to, anyway.”
“I don’t care about that. Fair play to you for doing it so long without me catching on.”
“I only do it in your best interest, and usually you want whatever it is anyway, so you don’t notice. Won’t be so easy to do again, though.”
“Hmm.”
“So…then that wasn’t really what I was sorry for.”
“It was a good try, though.”
“Yeah, I don’t really want to apologize for trying to keep Josh in your life, but you’re pissed. He was worried he’d lose you—you know, when you went back. I came up with the plan. He told me not to try it, but…well. So anyway…my bad.”
“That’s not much of an apology.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really feel it. I don’t want you to be mad or anything, but…I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.”
“Erika, just…leave it, okay? Stay out of it. This isn’t for you to fix. Just…just let it go, all right?”
“’Kay.”
“Are you bringing Jax?”
She smiled a little when Jenna called him by the nickname. “He wants to see me through this. Then I am going to entertain coming back with him. You know, after we finish the building. He’s going to take a leave of absence for a couple of months, then, if it works, maybe we’ll do some long distance. Then, maybe, I’ll move.”
Jenna sighed. “I am going to wring Don’s neck. I’m not kidding. This whole woods bullshit is totally screwing with my life.”
“Why? It’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.”
“Shut it. Let’s not talk about this now. I want to get back to my life, where stuff makes sense. If it happens, it isn’t happening for a while, so…”
“Ignorance is bliss.”
“Exactly.”
Erika stood and waited for Jenna to do the same. “Are you going to talk to Josh?”
Jenna tucked some hair behind her ear. “If he’ll let me.”
“He will. He hates himself for what he did.”
“He should. But…”
“You do, too. I know.” Erika patted her on the arm. “I’m glad I met Jax, but I’m having a hard time with all of this. We all are.”
Jenna stepped into the low light of the house, noticing Josh sitting quietly at the table, looking down at a spot in front of him. When she approached, she realized he was staring at his hands.
She sat at a place without a full plate of food in front of it, knowing it had been meant for her. Another, pushed up in front of Josh, must’ve been his uneaten dinner.
“Hi.” She folded her hands in front of her.
Josh looked up at her with misery lining every angle of his face. She leaned forward, seeing a splotchy red area around his eye that hadn’t come from her. “What happened to the peeper?”
“My father. He believes, correctly, that violence on the weaker sex is not tolerated.”
“Protect them, for they cannot protect themselves?”
“Yes.”
“Huh. Well, it’s a nice backhanded compliment, anyway.”
He looked at her solemnly, clearly begging her to forgive him without even opening his mouth. He didn’t look like he expected to be forgiven, though.
“What’s with the plates? I assume one is mine.” Jenna’s stomach churned from the nervousness of the coming conversation, not from hunger.
“I’ve decided I’m not going to eat unless you do.”
“Hunger strike?”
“You could say that.”
“Why are you doing this, exactly?”
“I care about you. I care that you don’t eat enough. It worries me. I figure you’ll see how hungry I am and maybe take pity on me. If you decide I don’t deserve pity, then you have a way to express it.”
“So, you’re ready to skip meals in order to let me punish you if I choose to?”
“Yes. I figured it would be more satisfying for you than standing with my hands down and letting you hit me. Although you can do that, too.”
“Huh.”
“I don’t have words for what I’ve done. Sorry isn’t enough, I know that. I don’t expect forgiveness, so please know that I am not asking for it. I don’t expect understanding, either. I just want you to know that I realize how badly I’ve fucked up, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
Jenna sighed. She hated making apologies, but she knew when she needed to. “You aren’t all to blame. I’m sorry for what I said. I was trying to be a huge bitch and hurt you. So, forgiven.”
“I can’t accept that. I just can’t. I don’t think you realize the gravity of the situation—”
“Look, Josh, I don’t care if you can accept it or not. What you did is seriously bad news, and I’m not trying to skirt around that fact. Do it again, and I’ll retaliate, then excuse you from my life permanently. Now, however, use the get out of jail free card. If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather just call it a day. I’ve been shot at, tracked, threatened, I’ve killed a guy, I’ve insulted an old man, I’ve insulted a young man, I got in a fight with my best friend, I’ve got a cop that has dirt on me, and I’ve got a hit out on me. I’ve had just about all I care to deal with in the drama department. I’d rather just let it go.”
“And you got choked.”
“Yeah, call that the cherry.”
Josh nodded, still looking down at his hands.
“So if I don’t eat tonight you go hungry, huh?” Jenna’s stomach rumbled as she looked at the table.
“It’s rabbit. I went out when you were working today and set a couple of snares. One came up good.”
Jenna’s heart sank. He’d gone hunting specifically for her, killed something, and then cooked it. He never asked for a thank you, or even pointed it out as if he’d done anything out of the ordinary. And she’d spit in his face. What kind of bitch was she?
“Thank you,” she said quietly, guilt eating away at her. Josh just shrugged. She got up, moved to the filled plate, and tried the rabbit.
“Hmmm. It’s good,” Jenna said, eating more, noticing that Josh started eating off his plate too.
They ate in silence. When she was done, Josh took the plates to the sink. He’d finished all his in record time, but didn’t quirk a brow at what was left on her plate. He returned to his seat, folded his hands in his lap, and kept his eyes miserably downcast.
“Okay, stand up, Williams.”
Josh looked at her slowly, his eyes a battlefield after the battle had raged through and sputtered out. Weaker sex, indeed. At least women bounced back; for good or for bad, they took a hit and kept on going. With an ax. Or a lawyer. But they still got up out of the dirt. Men could learn a thing or two.
Josh slowly got to his feet, dull eyes downcast.
“I would punch you, maybe even the score, but I like to look at a pretty face, not a pulpy one. I don’t want to ruin you for other women, after all.”
“You already have,” Josh said quietly as he continued to look at the floor.
Jenna put her hand on his chest, feeling his heart hammer in his ribs. She looked up into his eyes. “Are you going to waste our last day and a half together feeling sorry for yourself, or are you going to face your guilt like a man? I’m not out of the woods yet. There might still be one more guy out there. I need you operating at full capacity.”
Josh met her gaze, his eyes ravaged. He shook his head. “I don’t know that I can forgive myself. Not for this.”
“So that’s it, then?” Tears came to Jenna’s eyes unexpectedly. She didn’t want it to end like this. “You’re going to leave me to the wolves? What about what you said? You said you’d keep me safe.”
“How can I keep you safe if I can’t control myself? You’re in more danger from me than from an outside threat.”
“Maybe you s
hould try harder, then. Maybe you shouldn’t give up so easily. This is a fork in your life. It’s time to make a choice. You don’t want your dad to be right—you don’t want to be a coward and call it a mistake somewhere down the road, right? Make a choice. For me. Prove to me I’m worth it. Prove to me you love me enough to face this and move on.”
The heat kindled in his eyes. Once a soldier, always a soldier—give the man a mission and step out of the way.
With his jaw set and his eyes taking on a hard edge, he nodded. “Okay.”
“Now, take me upstairs and make love to me. Tenderly.”
Josh scooped her up and carried her upstairs. When he got her to the bed, he carefully stripped off her clothes, and then his. He made love to her with gentle touches and slow, lingering kisses. He entered her with such reverence that it broke her heart.
He was saying goodbye. He was pouring all his emotion into this act of love and devotion, and it was tearing her into ribbons. Her black heart was squeezed, the last traces of blood she didn’t know still lingered dripping out. It would be an understatement to say he’d changed her. A vast understatement.
When she woke up the next morning, Josh had already gone. She lay back a minute, relishing the silence and the fresh smell drifting in through the cracked window. Birds sang in the trees all around them, rejoicing in the filtered sunlight drifting down through the canopy.
This was it. She would be going back early tomorrow—this was her last chance to enjoy the peacefulness of a morning like this.
She showered and dressed slowly, forcing herself not to rush. She missed her apartment and the liveliness of Manhattan, but she’d be lying if she said she wouldn’t also miss these soft mornings and the beauty of the wood. She needed to savor it—to take it all in so she could reflect back on it later.
It wasn’t until she was fixing her hair that the smell of bacon registered, prompting a low growl from her stomach. She almost groaned with it. She’d forgotten Josh’s oath. He was probably down there, hungry, thinking she was passively attacking him by not eating. He was probably happy she was doing so.
Rolling her eyes, she made her way downstairs. He was such a clown sometimes. Why would she ever need to punish him—he punished himself enough for both of them.
Seeing the kitchen and dining room empty before noticing the two plates in the oven, she poked her head outside. Everyone was lying around in the sun, the three younger idly chatting about taking a swim later, while the general surveyed the trees with binoculars. The pool could’ve used a clean, but it wasn’t unswimmable. She knew that firsthand.
“Josh?” Jenna said. All four faces looked up at her. “I noticed you hadn’t eaten. I was wondering if you wanted to join me?”
Jax and Erika shared a silent look as Josh rose without commenting. The general raised the binoculars back to his eyes. Jenna didn’t figure the old man for a bird watcher.
After she and Josh had almost finished their breakfast, she pointed that out.
“He’s looking for snipers. There was a situation at the hospital with Lewis. My father thinks—”
Jenna choked on her eggs. “What? What situation? What happened?”
Josh’s stare was intent. “Someone tried to poison him. Luckily Lewis didn’t eat much of the food, but was very sick afterwards. He’s okay. Released, actually. He went back to New York this morning. But my father is worried for the safety of you girls.”
“Was anyone planning on telling me?”
“I didn’t realize you’d want to know.” Josh’s stone mask wiped away all traces of emotion. He was trying to hide the lie.
“You mean you didn’t want me to get scared. Or maybe you thought near death might make me realize I still had feelings for him?”
“Perhaps a little of both.”
“Please don’t do that again.”
“You’ve made it perfectly clear I won’t have the option.”
With a pang of guilt riding annoyance, Jenna took her plate to the sink. Josh’s presence pushed against her back as she rinsed it off. He put his dish on the counter and slipped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry, Jenna.”
She didn’t know if he was apologizing for Lewis, or the pall he’d just thrown on the mood. Not really caring, just wanting to bask in his company, she leaned back against this chest. “Good news is, tomorrow you can go back to eating whenever you want.”
Without a word, Josh released her and headed outside. She wasn’t going to mention that he hadn’t washed his plate. It would seem callous under the circumstances.
The day passed quickly. Too quickly. At lunchtime she ate, even though she wasn’t hungry, just so Josh wouldn’t have to starve. She even ate a snack, though she didn’t taste it.
After lunch, they all donned their swimsuits and took to the pool. Jax and Erika were having a great time swimming and joking, jumping off the diving board and enjoying each other’s company. Jax was excited about going to New York City, it seemed. He listened intently whenever Erika talked about places she would be excited to eat at, or where she wanted to show Jax when they got there.
They both tried to keep her and Josh in the conversation, but while Jenna was just as excited as Erika to get back to the familiarity of her home, her stuff, and the prospect of some good shopping, she kept thinking that it was at the cost of Josh.
She spent much of that day watching him, but he didn’t say much to anyone, not even her. When Erika threw a joke at him, he watched her silently and then looked away.
Toward evening, everyone was lounging inside, no one saying much. Josh was in a corner, by himself, with a glass of scotch. He looked at Jenna often, swirling his glass, his face hard and his eyes lost to shadow.
“What do you think we should work on when we get back?” Erika asked quietly, the sound out of place in the somber atmosphere.
The general brought his binoculars down, scanning the window with his naked eyes, before lifting them back up again. He rose slowly and walked closer. He’d been keeping vigil all day.
“I have a lot of notes and stuff I need to get into the computer,” Jenna said, watching the older man scan from side to side. “We need to print out updated plans. That’ll have to be first. Thankfully, all the groundwork plans are done and out, but we are still way behind.”
“Do you think we should all meet first, though?”
“I was thinking about getting in early to sort my stuff out first, then maybe have something for when we meet. I’m sure Don wants to go over a few things. Have you heard anything about Mike?”
Erika shook her head, glancing to Jax, who was watching Josh, who in turn was watching the scotch roll around in his snifter. “Last I heard, he made it to Texas and was about to cross the border.”
“Oh, that’s more than I heard. Good. He should be fine.”
“Yeah, he’s prob—”
“Joshua.” The general’s voice cut through Erika’s words like a poker through ash. All eyes turned to the older man as he stood in the window, his body straight and tense.
Josh was by his side in a blink. The general handed over the binoculars and used his whole arm with his hand turned sideways, pointing to a certain spot.
Josh raised the binoculars, following the direction of his father’s pointed arm. He lowered them again, shaking his head. “Too dark—the details are lost. What did you see?”
“I have night vision if you want it,” the general said.
“It might help, but at this distance I doubt it. What did you see?”
“A shape, man-sized, just beyond the clearing. He was just above the fence line and dropped down.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a shadow?”
The general hesitated for a fraction of a second. “In this light I can’t be sure. But it is worth checking out. It wouldn’t take long for someone to track you here.”
For the first time, Jenna noticed the power shift. It was subtle, and she hadn’t noticed it all day, but it seemed that Dick was reporting t
o Josh, letting the son take lead. “No. I expected it. The missing gunman would’ve been reported by now. With Lewis gone, and the girls likely together, I doubt whoever is authorizing this will pull the plug.”
“What missing gunman?” Erika asked, looking at Jax.
Jax stood and made his way to the guys, avoiding Erika’s question.
Uh oh.
Jax hadn’t told her. Not that Jenna blamed him, per se, but the omission was bound to cause problems, as most important omissions usually did. Especially with a new relationship.
“I told you I got shot at,” Jenna said, hedging.
“How do you know he is missing?”
“I think you can put two and two together now, huh?”
“What do you think?” Jax asked Josh, his voice raised to drown out Erika’s questions.
Josh handed the binoculars to his father. “I think I’ll go scout it out, see if there is anything out there. I’ve got a bad feeling.” Josh’s gaze landed on Jenna.
“I’ll take the front,” Jax said.
“Girls,” Josh said, his eyes not leaving Jenna’s. “It’s probably bedtime anyway. We’ll be up early, so you might as well get some shuteye.”
In other words, Stay where I know you’ll be. Jenna read him loud and clear. As she didn’t want to face another gunman, she promptly got up and moved to the stairs. She didn’t notice Josh following until she entered the bedroom.
“Jenna,” Josh said from behind her.
She turned to him slowly, her insides riddled with so many emotions she didn’t want to feel anymore. He was standing so close she could smell his scent, woods and cool spring mornings, with a hint of the delicious smell that was all his own. His hazel eyes rimmed with black fringe flashed at her. “I want you to stay in this room tonight. I want that gun within reach. Clear?”
“Where will you be?”
“I’m going to scout the perimeter. My father is older, and his vision leaves something to be desired, but in these matters he isn’t usually wrong. He didn’t get where he is without a good head for warfare. I’m just going to check it out.”
“Will you be out all night?”
Unexpected Danger (Skyline Trilogy Book 2) Page 17
